Teenagers who want to communicate but they can’t because they feel the fear of being judged, get criticism and etc from their parents.
To be able to communicate is to have the ability to connect when it really matters; even when it is often based on the ability to connect, even it doesn’t you have to build the positive of the relationships between a parent and a teen at the time. Even where there is sorting out any communication difficulties in the way of it but there are importance of big talks about significant topics with the teen who may feel embarrassed about talking to their parents about it.
Channeling the communication to be open between the parent and a teen; is that teenagers may need their parents guidance and boundaries that they may draw and hold. This may have the impact of to be a tactical for any parents or teenagers to get this across on both sides.
Be assertive of your authority may need to be different; when dealing with authority it has to be averse teen, rather than an automatic respectful child. Teens still need to know that you are still interested, still care, on their side and watch. Even if you always don’t agree with them; you need to have the skills and the emotional resilience to go on offering help; even if the face is showing or behind the glass of indifference and opposition.
However getting locked into unhelpful ways of communicating with bickering, nagging, criticism that we all have at times with our parents and teens. Even though we tried to hard to avoid relating to them in every day life; it would either make it easier or just make it, plan lot harder to sort out the key issues.
Reduce the amount of indifference and the opposition between you and your teenager; is by improving your skills, every teen is different to the previous child. Not all teenagers are going to be the same; or the same as you when you were there age. Teens often behave in aways which that it will come difficult for you as parents to give them what they need the most. You as a parent cannot change your teen; but you can change what you do in life and how you behave differently, even if its comes to the point of matching the results in the other person. In which matching you and alternate their behaviour in themselves.
If you need a pet talking lessons or words to help start with the lines of communication open with your teenager, what should you be doing? That’s if you as a parent can help it in away of saying horrible or a criticism way. Why not look in ways of opportunities to talk off-message; like what interests they like doing, or ask if they can join or ask them if they want to come with you as a parent.
Such like use ‘I’ messages, use open question, share something of yourself, treat the young person as an equal, practise what you preach, listen without judgement or criticism, appreciate them for their positive qualities, give unconditional love but hold strong boundaries over behaviour, give frequent ‘strokes’ as my mum puts it licks like a cat by stroking my arm and yes I did roll my eyes at that one, include the young person in family activities but give them the choice to opt out, understand and take action only when asked for help
For more info click on this link right here 👉🏻 👇🏻http://www.familylives.org.uk/advice/teenagers/communicating-with-teenagers/the-importance-of-communicating-with-teenagers/ enjoying my emojis and hyper links why too much these days. This is where I found my research; I let you in a little secret, I was reading/doing this when one of my parents were talking to me giving me a lecture about something. Believe me I try and avoid everything as much as possible and I’m 26 years old currently. By the time in the few years time I’ll be a lot older than this blog haha.
The action or practice of humiliating someone by making mocking or critical comments about their body shape or size.
‘Body Image’ Someone perceives their body and assumes that others may perceive them. This image can also affected by family, friends, social pressure and the media. People who are unhappy with the bodies; this is because they don’t seek healthy nutrition information may develop lots of different eating disorders, meaning that ‘Eating disorders’ are unhealthy relationships with food that may include fasting, constant dieting, or binging and purging.
Body image is closely linked to self-esteem; meaning low self-esteem in adolescents can lead to eating disorders, early sexual activity, substance use and suicidal thoughts. This is where you can post encouraging notes in your school bathrooms to be able to brighten your classmates day.
Approximately of the women 91% women are unhappy with their bodies and resort to dieting to be achieve their ideal body shape. However unfortunately only 5% of the women who naturally possess the body type often portrayed but the Americans in the media.
58% of the college – aged girls feel that they are being pressured to be a certain weight; this is because of other girls that they see in magazines, idols and other girls in their year pressure them to be in that weight or think that they should be that weight but yet it confuses them of who they are and their true identity. The studies shows that there the more reality of television young girls watched the more likely is to be able to find appearance that are important to them.
However there are 1/3 of the people who admit that they have ‘normal dieting’ who merge the pathological dieting. To which you will find 1/4 who those will suffer from a partial or full on eating disorder. A survey had showing that 40% of women and about 20% have agreed in which they would consider the cosmetic surgery in the future; which the statistics have remained the relatively that are constant, that’s across the gender, age, martial status, and race.
Students; especially girls who consume more mainstream media, place the greater importance on the sexiness and the overall appearance than who do not consume as too much. This is where I have mentioned it roughly in the previous paragraph about the students at college.
The fact that 95% of people eating disorders are between the ages of 12 to 25; which only 10% of the people, who are suffering from an eating disorder will only seek the professional help.
In other research that I have read and what has brought to my attention is that 90% of teens unhappy with body shape; nine of ten the British teenage girls who are unhappy with their bodies, are within their mother’s who seem to appear to be responsible to which passes on their own insecurities.
Out of the 2,000 girls who were questioned for a poll that was given to them; at the time it was set towards them at the time, only 8% who had said that they were ‘happy’ with their appearance. Meanwhile the 87% say that they were ‘unhappy’ about their appearance. According to the teen Magazine survey for Bliss; those who had said that were unhappy about their appearance, was due to the thoughts of their own mothers had some what ‘insecure about their own body image’. This can be because they could over hear what they mothers talking to their female friends or partners and etc; to which makes the 90% of the teens say that they are unhappy about their bodies, and think that their mothers are talking about them or they don’t want to end up like their mothers.
Whilst there are 19% of the teenage girls who were questioned about being over weight; when actually 67% thought they needed to loose weight, this shows that just 64% of these girls are under 13 have already been on a diet from a very young age.
The research that I had disclosed that there are some worrying facts that there are long lengths of young girls; would go on their quests for a beauty bodies, because they can’t seek for help or have the confidence to ask for help or talk about it until it is too late. A quarter of 14 year olds (26%) have said to the researchers who have done the polls and etc. Have actually considered having the plastic surgery or even taking the diet pills; which have rising within those who were overweight to 42%, which you may find within the teens that almost fifth (19%) have told the researchers that they were already suffering from eating disorder such like anorexia or bulimia.
I am currently in my late 20’s now; just slowly coming out of depression and anxiety once again, I would be insecure about my body the way I look and etc. Throughout my teens and etc; I would show that I wouldn’t care but actually I really did care about what I looked like, how I would dress and what not. I would compare myself to other people; I wish I was pretty, I wish I didn’t put so much weight on and etc. When I was in my mental state of mind I would just bing eat; whatever money I had I would go and get family packs of crips, chocolate and fizzy drinks or even just sleep my days away. Part of my mental health was because I didn’t like myself or who I was.
I do have lots of positive about myself when I make the effort of making myself look really nice; look pretty, looking stunning and I take pictures when I do to post them on Instagram. I either caption them or just leave them on how it is; because I have no words to describe them, but I know that I have caught a really good and positive photo of myself at the time I had taken it.
I am slowly getting the chance of getting to know myself; feeling the confidence that I need to know that it’s okay to have a bit of weight, I know when I do my make up and looking nice that I know its the real me. Even when I don’t feel like it and feel bad about myself; I try my hardest to be able to look presentable as much as I can, even if I’m not going anywhere special.
After a series of researching on the web, I thought why not kick off this week with gender identity and sexuality.
Gender identity is generally found between the ages 13 and 19 years old. This is when teens are gaining new experiences, emotions, relationships, expectations and all of this can become overwhelming for any teen that age. However, adding gender identity into the mix of everything else that is happening within themselves and around them can cause these years to be the most confusing time for teens. They will find it hard to navigate their gender identity around school and/or home, with their doctors or even with their friends.
One’s gender identity is their inner most concept of self as a male, female, both or neither; outside of that, they could fancy the same sex, or a different sex than what they were assigned at birth. The two words that are most used when it comes to what gender you are attracted to are Gay or Lesbian, Bisexual (Bi) or straight; Gay means you like the same sex as yourself, either male or female, Bisexual means you like both, Lesbian is when you are a girl and only like girls and the last one is straight as in you only like the opposite sex.
Finding the confidence of telling a friend or a parent that your gender identity or sexual preference does not fit the societal norm can be an emotional journey. You don’t know how they will react or when the right time to tell them will be, telling someone or “coming out” should happen when the time comes and when you’re ready. It is a massive thing to tell family members and close friends your secret, at the best of times we may not be able to have any sort of control over our “coming out”. There are ways for you to be able to overcome that fear; if “coming out” is important to you, there is a website called ‘Gender Spectrum’ that offers guidance and helpful recourses for you to look at. https://www.genderspectrum.org/
I have asked a few people that I know that who are straight, bi, gay, and lesbian to tell their stories, but I’m currently waiting to hear back from them. When I do I’ll create another article about friends who happily tell their stories, how they coped, what they did and many other things. Hopefully, this can help you can feel more settled with what you feel and what you may want to do.
You are not alone out there. Everyone is in the same boat there is no shame in who you are; people have to accept who they are at the end of the day.
Wanting to do something good with your life; there’s lots of things that you could do in your spare time, loads of official charities out there that you can help.
The worst feeling is that your not 100 percent sure in what you want to do with your life; better still your waiting for prince or princess charming to come and get you, so that you don’t have to go to work or do anything. Have that luxury life that everyone else has; think about the children, the poor, the needy and the helpless. You may have a home to go to; family that care for you, still have loads of opportunities to give a try. What do the people who are in need have? Think about it whilst your reading this.
Over the years I have helped with charities such like Children In Need a well known charity in England; my local charity called Challengers, and last but least a special needs school who has become academy trust within a year called Pond Meadow which is a local school in my hometown. When I was growing up I had lots of big aspirations; meaning there was lots of things that I wanted to do, but no one really believed in me.
Well the teachers at school because I was in the bottom two sets; so they didn’t really care much about me and my grades, however since I’ve left school I still didn’t know what I wanted to do. First college didn’t really believe in me either; so I gave up trying my hardest to do that course, that was when I went to another college and that college helped me to turn my life around.
They helped me to believe in myself; along side them believe in me, I managed to work hard to get good grades, help me to focus on my creativity. You’re probably thinking why has this got anything to do with charities and helping people. I can tell you right now; it has everything to do with charities because if I believed in myself to do things when no one else would, I wouldn’t be doing what I am doing now.
Working with special needs children I provided them hope, encourage them, do things that they thought it would be impossible to do. They were being giving the life that everyone else had; believe me the things that I have witnessed, helped and made them do lots of progress. It made their day and your day one hundred percent good one even if there was things that couldn’t be helped.
All I am saying is that if your struggling to know what you wanting to do in life after school or college; why not become a volunteer or a place that you become a paid volunteer, to gain some work experience and also give you some sort of direction in where you want to go in life.
Here are some few ideas you may want to check out:
- Local Charities
- Children in Need
- Sports Relief
- Comic Relief/Red Nose Day
- National Trust
- English Heritage
- Helping children in Africa
Remember me talking about my best friend Caspian; well he had asked me to help with one of his charities, to which I manage to scrape some money together out of my own pocket. Sent it to a country in Africa called Nigeria; I had received some photos, from the person who was on Caspian’s team through him of course and in the pictures they had shown me what they had received. I do have to say is that I am so pleased that they have got something that they truly enjoy the most. To also have a childhood that like everyone else.
Do something to make will make yourself proud and seeing other people smile as they are being heard and listen to. Its that feeling of great sense of feeling to have when you have made someone’s day.
For young people
Young people can experience a range of mental health problems. Childhood and teenage years are a time when you are usually changing rapidly and developing all the time.
You also often have to cope with many different situations and unfamiliar challenges like exams, relationships and the other pressures of growing up.
While often it’s possible to talk to parents or carers about feelings, you may find it hard to do so. You might express how you feel through being moody, getting in trouble at school or at home or by becoming angry easily. Some people also get odd aches and pains that can happen when you’re not able to say what you’re feeling.
If you’re able to carry on your usual life and don’t experience lasting unpleasant feelings, the best help is for parents, relatives or friends to be available to listen, to talk things through and to support you where they can.
More rarely, you may experience difficulties that are more severe or long lasting, or you may find yourself reacting to setbacks in a more extreme way. You may tell parents or friends that you are distressed or unable to cope, or you may try to hint that you are and hope they speak to you. This can lead to the support you want. Often though, you may find you show distress through acting differently, with more intense moods or behaviour, either at home, at school, or with friends.
Occasionally, your feelings or mood may be so extreme or upsetting that you need urgent help. If you’re self-harming, running away, or saying you no longer want to go on living then you may need immediate support. If this sort of feeling continues for some time it is a particular clue that you might need to look to get help to cope with your mental health.
If you are a parent living with a mental health problem you might find our guide to parenting and mental health useful. If you are concerned about a child then see organisations listed under Useful contacts for more information.
Mental Health for young people
I sometimes find when I read or hear on the news that sometimes parents don’t even notice that their children are depressed or self harming; before they realise it’s too late when they commit suicide or run away, then you have no hope to understand why until they find all the evidence and they wish they could of seen the signs, read more and have more knowledge about mental health.
Some parents are always there for the kids who go throw it; help them to get well, be there for them and let them come to them or go to them if they need to talk. Monjority of the young people’s parents know they are helpless; but trying to help them fight it along side them, gives them more encouragement to do so.
You then have your parents who can only give you so much care; until they have had enough of it, telling you to do things, snap out of it and etc. Makes you feel a whole lot worse than you already are; that’s because people don’t understand what it’s like living with it, when they are feeling down about things or stressed about things. They start to take it out on you because they know your the weakest; that’s when you start to withdraw yourself more and more, but yet they still can’t see it and do it more.
All of your useful tips as parents and young people please go to the website under the introduction. This has more information and contacts for you to look for in guidance and to help.