When we were young

The questionable thing for teens in this generation is outside what's that? But when I was young I was outside all the time not having to worry about anything.

When we were young the world seemed so old; however now the world is careless and cold, we did what we did years ago and now the generation do what they are told in this life. From 2010 backwards we had the world by our tail; that's when the good would prevail, along with the starships that would set sail and none of us would fail in this life.
Since 2010 onwards things have changed. Things shouldn't of happened not when you're young; we had drawn to whoever that would keep us together, along with the binding by the heavens above and now we have to survive the traveling at the speed of light and love.
When we were young; we adored the fabulous life of freedom of everything when we were young, we got to be the foolish and fearless of not knowing the cost of what we had to pay by letting someone else be strong. That was because we were young.
In the moment of grace; there was a long leap of faith of keeping everyone safe, but when we are young now there's always still going to be more glory stored away. This generation says this is our life; and all the bad things that are happening the government seem to be burning the bridges that we cross over, all we want to see is the firelight and we are the innocent that are getting over the old times. But yet we are young where everything seemed to be what we dreamed everyday; never knowing the cost of what we just paid for the lives, yet we are letting someone else be strong.
When we are young we start to look at ourselves and your will start to look at someone else to find that you recognise you can see yourself. Which makes you wonder when you had taken back what you've been given away but it must of been the last time you had your freedom.

The Unknown Fear: Beauty and Beast

This week I want to con-bind Teenagers Life Crisis with this The Unknown Fear Category; because I believe teens can relate to this in so many ways, that no one understands unless they have been throw it themselves.

I find myself at the current stage in life but always will because that's who I am unless I turn my mind set and beat the beast that’s controlling me inside my mind. Each day I try and take a photo of myself as I see who I really am inside and out; as you can see in the four pictures, I actually like who I am, how I do things and how truly pretty that I really am. The fact that I capture it and post it through social media it has given me the confidence of taking pictures of who I am; I'm in control of the camera no one else is, I wouldn't take a photo of myself if I have an really bad off day and put it up. No way I'll be doing that I can tell you that right now. That's how insecure I am about it all. This is my little tale of how my beauty and beast is like in my life; my story, my life of all the issues that I have within myself.

Tale as old as time can this be true as it can be; as I'm barely even friends with the beast inside me, them somebody bends the unexpectedly and a little change some say at least but both a little scared of loosing each other. Neither one is prepared to give up on each other but that's what I call as beauty and the beast battling her out.

Ever just the same but always a surprise like it was once before; just to be sure when the that will rise, the same old tale at this time is played in the same old tune in the distances like a distance memory. Bittersweet and strange like I'm finding that I can change; when I learn that I was wrong at the time I don't want to listen to what other people are saying,

There's always the certain sun that will always come out; making me feel better about myself like I'm confident in myself that's what the beauty of it when the sun is in the east, but there is the other certain sun that doesn't come out and it rains then the beast will rise in the east.

Our take is now as old as time along with the song that has as old as the rhyme; but I call it pour beauty that takes over winning over the beast, even when it's the hard times beauty and the beast always battle it out no matter what happens. That's why I call it the beauty and the beast.

The Inside Of A Teenager’s Mind and How To Communicate.

Teenagers who want to communicate but they can’t because they feel the fear of being judged, get criticism and etc from their parents.

To be able to communicate is to have the ability to connect when it really matters; even when it is often based on the ability to connect, even it doesn’t you have to build the positive of the relationships between a parent and a teen at the time. Even where there is sorting out any communication difficulties in the way of it but there are importance of big talks about significant topics with the teen who may feel embarrassed about talking to their parents about it. 

Channeling the communication to be open between the parent and a teen; is that teenagers may need their parents guidance and boundaries that they may draw and hold. This may have the impact of to be a tactical for any parents or teenagers to get this across on both sides.

Be assertive of your authority may need to be different; when dealing with authority it has to be averse teen, rather than an automatic respectful child. Teens still need to know that you are still interested, still care, on their side and watch. Even if you always don’t agree with them; you need to have the skills and the emotional resilience to go on offering help; even if the face is showing or behind the glass of indifference and opposition.

However getting locked into unhelpful ways of communicating with bickering, nagging, criticism that we all have at times with our parents and teens. Even though we tried to hard to avoid relating to them in every day life; it would either make it easier or just make it, plan lot harder to sort out the key issues.

Reduce the amount of indifference and the opposition between you and your teenager; is by improving your skills, every teen is different to the previous child. Not all teenagers are going to be the same; or the same as you when you were there age. Teens often behave in aways which that it will come difficult for you as parents to give them what they need the most. You as a parent cannot change your teen; but you can change what you do in life and how you behave differently, even if its comes to the point of matching the results in the other person. In which matching you and alternate their behaviour in themselves.

If you need a pet talking lessons or words to help start with the lines of communication open with your teenager, what should you be doing? That’s if you as a parent can help it in away of saying horrible or a criticism way. Why not look in ways of opportunities to talk off-message; like what interests they like doing, or ask if they can join or ask them if they want to come with you as a parent. 

Such like use ‘I’ messages, use open question, share something of yourself, treat the young person as an equal, practise what you preach, listen without judgement or criticism, appreciate them for their positive qualities, give unconditional love but hold strong boundaries over behaviour, give frequent ‘strokes’ as my mum puts it licks like a cat by stroking my arm and yes I did roll my eyes at that one, include the young person in family activities but give them the choice to opt out, understand and take action only when asked for help

For more info click on this link right here 👉🏻 👇🏻http://www.familylives.org.uk/advice/teenagers/communicating-with-teenagers/the-importance-of-communicating-with-teenagers/ enjoying my emojis and hyper links why too much these days. This is where I found my research; I let you in a little secret, I was reading/doing this when one of my parents were talking to me giving me a lecture about something. Believe me I try and avoid everything as much as possible and I’m 26 years old currently. By the time in the few years time I’ll be a lot older than this blog haha. 

Gender Identity Quotes Extra 

Just coming back to the revisit of Gender Identity that I have writing couple of weeks ago or just attached it for Vocal Media. I have amazing feedback from people who I have asked and they have commented. I do like to advise that please respect other’s comments about their thoughts and people who are brave enough to come out to talk to me about their experiences.
The fact that I wanted to revisit this article that I had written; we because there are so many young people out there, who are afraid to come out. This is either afraid of being judged, know how strongly about one or both parents feel, or they know in the past that there have been laws about it. I will most likely to re-re-visit in a few months or so if people would like me to come back to this topic. 

The comments so far that I have received so far from people that I have asked around. Please remember respect the people’s opinions and how they see it. One person called Lee has offered to answer any questions if anyone is struggling to come out; or ask for advice, if you have any please contact me through lizzyarrow@outlook.com this is where you can ask your questions and I’ll email them over to him. I will do visa with the response that he has given. Due to protection and policies and etc. If you like to remain anonymous please inform me as I email I will leave anonymous against your question or comments. 

“Can’t say I wasn’t shocked but I’m fine with it. It’s her life not mine lol (smiles)’ ‘She is what she is at the end of the day. She still my beautiful Sammi’ by Sarah her daughter is Bisexual 

“Yes always been straight hun. Been involved in a lot of sexual action with men and women both; there are some more than other in different situations, but never been attracted to male. Only female.” “I can appreciate a good body looking or body buy not want to kiss it or sleep with it. Have no problem being naked with other men though” By Gareth who is straight 

“Why not…they are allowed to get opinions from anybody” “so they could know the advantage and disadvantage of that”. “‘No’ its not a sin to the Muslim faith’ By anonymous on religious backgrounds side of things

“My parents were absolutely fantastic when I told them. I introduced them to my boyfriend whilst I was at university and never expressed any problem with it all. I had known that I was gay since Secondary School (UK meaning); maybe towards the end of college, and told my friends. None of them seemed surprised and all accepted to was normal with no fuss. There wasn’t a clear point at which I knew I was gay but to realise that I had much stronger feelings and attractions towards male models. I did briefly wonder if I was bisexual but I understood quickly that I didn’t have romantic feelings for people of the opposite sex. I have had any negative reactions thankfully. I’m happy any questions but I hope this helps” By Lee who’s gay. 

“1) How did you know you were gay, lesbian, trans or straight

In high school around mid teens bisexual 
2) How did you feel in telling your parents? 

Worried not to sure how to go about it never told my dad and mum told me i was going through a phase 

3) How did you feel in telling your friends or your close friends?

Friends no problem understood 
4) Have you told anyone about your sexuality or you still keeping it a secret?

Well friends know im bi but do keep it behind closed doors, my hubby doesnt like it and never has done. But i know that me and hubby are ment to be, sole mates so doesnt really bother me but i know its still there.”

5) What is the best advice for the young generation of today? 

Be yourself, you are who you are and you only live once so if you want to have experience go for it and if its not for you, its not for you x ” Anonymous who’s Bi

Body Shaming

The action or practice of humiliating someone by making mocking or critical comments about their body shape or size.

‘Body Image’ Someone perceives their body and assumes that others may perceive them. This image can also affected by family, friends, social pressure and the media. People who are unhappy with the bodies; this is because they don’t seek healthy nutrition information may develop lots of different eating disorders, meaning that ‘Eating disorders’ are unhealthy relationships with food that may include fasting, constant dieting, or binging and purging.  

Body image is closely linked to self-esteem; meaning low self-esteem in adolescents can lead to eating disorders, early sexual activity, substance use and suicidal thoughts. This is where you can post encouraging notes in your school bathrooms to be able to brighten your classmates day. 

Approximately of the women 91% women are unhappy with their bodies and resort to dieting to be achieve their ideal body shape. However unfortunately only 5% of the women who naturally possess the body type often portrayed but the Americans in the media. 

58% of the college – aged girls feel that they are being pressured to be a certain weight; this is because of other girls that they see in magazines, idols and other girls in their year pressure them to be in that weight or think that they should be that weight but yet it confuses them of who they are and their true identity. The studies shows that there the more reality of television young girls watched the more likely is to be able to find appearance that are important to them.

However there are 1/3 of the people who admit that they have ‘normal dieting’ who merge the pathological dieting. To which you will find 1/4 who those will suffer from a partial or full on eating disorder. A survey had showing that 40% of women and about 20% have agreed in which they would consider the cosmetic surgery in the future; which the statistics have remained the relatively that are constant, that’s across the gender, age, martial status, and race.

Students; especially girls who consume more mainstream media, place the greater importance on the sexiness and the overall appearance than who do not consume as too much. This is where I have mentioned it roughly in the previous paragraph about the students at college. 

The fact that 95% of people eating disorders are between the ages of 12 to 25; which only 10% of the people, who are suffering from an eating disorder will only seek the professional help. 

In other research that I have read and what has brought to my attention is that 90% of teens unhappy with body shape; nine of ten the British teenage girls who are unhappy with their bodies, are within their mother’s who seem to appear to be responsible to which passes on their own insecurities.   

Out of the 2,000 girls who were questioned for a poll that was given to them; at the time it was set towards them at the time, only 8% who had said that they were ‘happy’ with their appearance. Meanwhile the 87% say that they were ‘unhappy’ about their appearance. According to the teen Magazine survey for Bliss; those who had said that were unhappy about their appearance, was due to the thoughts of their own mothers had some what ‘insecure about their own body image’. This can be because they could over hear what they mothers talking to their female friends or partners and etc; to which makes the 90% of the teens say that they are unhappy about their bodies, and think that their mothers are talking about them or they don’t want to end up like their mothers. 

Whilst there are 19% of the teenage girls who were questioned about being over weight; when actually 67% thought they needed to loose weight, this shows that just 64% of these girls are under 13 have already been on a diet from a very young age. 

The research that I had disclosed that there are some worrying facts that there are long lengths of young girls; would go on their quests for a beauty bodies, because they can’t seek for help or have the confidence to ask for help or talk about it until it is too late. A quarter of 14 year olds (26%) have said to the researchers who have done the polls and etc. Have actually considered having the plastic surgery or even taking the diet pills; which have rising within those who were overweight to 42%, which you may find within the teens that almost fifth (19%) have told the researchers that they were already suffering from eating disorder such like anorexia or bulimia. 

I am currently in my late 20’s now; just slowly coming out of depression and anxiety once again, I would be insecure about my body the way I look and etc. Throughout my teens and etc; I would show that I wouldn’t care but actually I really did care about what I looked like, how I would dress and what not. I would compare myself to other people; I wish I was pretty, I wish I didn’t put so much weight on and etc. When I was in my mental state of mind I would just bing eat; whatever money I had I would go and get family packs of crips, chocolate and fizzy drinks or even just sleep my days away. Part of my mental health was because I didn’t like myself or who I was. 

I do have lots of positive about myself when I make the effort of making myself look really nice; look pretty, looking stunning and I take pictures when I do to post them on Instagram. I either caption them or just leave them on how it is; because I have no words to describe them, but I know that I have caught a really good and positive photo of myself at the time I had taken it. 

I am slowly getting the chance of getting to know myself; feeling the confidence that I need to know that it’s okay to have a bit of weight, I know when I do my make up and looking nice that I know its the real me. Even when I don’t feel like it and feel bad about myself; I try my hardest to be able to look presentable as much as I can, even if I’m not going anywhere special. 

Gender Identity

After a series of researching on the web, I thought why not kick off this week with gender identity and sexuality.
 
Gender identity is generally found between the ages 13 and 19 years old. This is when teens are gaining new experiences, emotions, relationships, expectations and all of this can become overwhelming for any teen that age. However, adding gender identity into the mix of everything else that is happening within themselves and around them can cause these years to be the most confusing time for teens. They will find it hard to navigate their gender identity around school and/or home, with their doctors or even with their friends.

One’s gender identity is their inner most concept of self as a male, female, both or neither; outside of that, they could fancy the same sex, or a different sex than what they were assigned at birth. The two words that are most used when it comes to what gender you are attracted to are Gay or Lesbian, Bisexual (Bi) or straight; Gay means you like the same sex as yourself, either male or female, Bisexual means you like both, Lesbian is when you are a girl and only like girls and the last one is straight as in you only like the opposite sex.

Finding the confidence of telling a friend or a parent that your gender identity or sexual preference does not fit the societal norm can be an emotional journey. You don’t know how they will react or when the right time to tell them will be, telling someone or “coming out” should happen when the time comes and when you’re ready. It is a massive thing to tell family members and close friends your secret, at the best of times we may not be able to have any sort of control over our “coming out”. There are ways for you to be able to overcome that fear; if “coming out” is important to you, there is a website called ‘Gender Spectrum’ that offers guidance and helpful recourses for you to look at. https://www.genderspectrum.org/

I have asked a few people that I know that who are straight, bi, gay, and lesbian to tell their stories, but I’m currently waiting to hear back from them. When I do I’ll create another article about friends who happily tell their stories, how they coped, what they did and many other things. Hopefully, this can help you can feel more settled with what you feel and what you may want to do.
You are not alone out there. Everyone is in the same boat there is no shame in who you are; people have to accept who they are at the end of the day. 

Shoot the Runner 

The day I was just laying in bed thinking what was my plan for this weeks blogs; as I didn’t really do much the following week because I wasn’t well, still not well to be honest with you. So I was just listening to some songs and Kasbian came on with “Shoot the Runner”. Which got me thinking about school and theirs always someone that runs to a teacher. However I would not recommend shooting to anyone. 

In school kids are just kids at the end of the day; but when in adult life they should know better, however it’s not like that at all. There’s always few people who will always going to be a runner; who would most likely to go behind your back, to tell a teacher or spread rumours etc. 

I have had my fair share of that on both sides of it teenager life and adult life. Life can be so cruel; to the point of these days there are more and more teenagers committing suicides because of people bullying, abusing and etc but yet no one actually goes running, when their closest friends don’t actually go running to get help for their friend and by that stage it’s too late. 

There’s two types of runners; one runner is the one that cares because ask permission, to speak on their friends behalf on their concerns and what they have been told. Then you have complete idiots who seek attention; make up any excuse or spread rumours or tell everyone your secrets, all because they haven’t got anything better to say or do with their lives other than making that persons a living hell. 

Everyone trips and falls but you’ll be standing on top of the world; even with the dark cloud raining over your head, you have learnt to wave good bye to the haters as your stronger than them. As your marching on your own with good friends joining you on route as you pick them up along the way; you are proud to say that you have them, as you have a place to write too. There’s no drama to big or to small to deal with; when you have good friends, on which they say ‘I got you’.

There’s always going to be another mountain to climb; the struggling that your facing, will knock you down but you’ll be pushing through the pain and suffering no matter what the situation. It’s always going to up hill battle; keep on moving, keep on climbing, keep the faith you will get through the pain.

No one likes to being played; no one understands why your the ones get hurt by people who you think you could trust, all the innocent has gone but it’s not worth our time. I just wish I could free you but the answer is simple; it’s the one who has done it in the first place, I don’t want to go another day not telling you what’s on my mind. I’m going to stay with you and nobody is going in between us; don’t worry about people who are hanging around, just ignore them as I’m going to stick with you. I know how to appreciate you and I know what is best for you. 

Focus on what you want to do; I came here to do I want to do, my focus is on you as much as I can. I can tell you are curious but no one can hold us down. You can answer questions and listen to your worries by writing to me to lizzyarrow@outlook.com just focus on me and yourself. 

These words are my own!


These words are my own!

I was explaining to a friend on how much special needs children meant to me and how much I shout out to raise their voices. I want to share to you guys and your parents on the Understanding of special needs. 

Whilst you sit at your tables at your secondary schools; kicking off because you can, shout the loudest, refuse to be going to school because you can and many more things that you can do. Yet shout the most offensive word in public which makes my ears plead; makes me want to trip you up, educate you why you shouldn’t say the word “Retard” anywhere. Do you actually know what it means? Or your just saying it because your friends say it? or the word sounds cool? 
“Retard” is a weird for someone who has a disability or who is a disabled. Your not either of those two; the word isn’t cool to say, it’s a disgusting word that comes out of your mouth who has no respect what for anyone but yourself. 

To specialise in special needs for about 6 years; plus a relative who has special needs all his life for 17 years, I have more knowledge of the world through their eyes and yours. It’s completely different; you have to understand this by trying to do something for a few hours, if that doesn’t work, you can try again another day. Someone who doesn’t have that level of concept of understanding; they have to do it neat perfect and do it again all day to try to make it work, or do it the way their minds work. Yeah they may have behavioural needs but they can’t help it; you guys can help your behaviourally needs, by talking to someone what’s making you upset or angry and etc. Each child who has behaviourally needs is partly down to their medical needs and also along with the condition of special needs; some can talk about what’s triggering them off, some cannot talk and your trying to help them but understanding what could be wrong. 

When I was working in a special needs school in my hometown; my average day with everything going to plan could be at 35/45% getting through what we needed to do, like physio, lessons, changes, breaks, paper work and etc. The rest of the time percentage is when things go wrong that can’t be helped weather it’s a swim day, OT days (chairs and equipment), physio team come in, nurses come in because a child has become unwell or in a seizure, in the worst case scenario an ambulance have to come. Each day is a different day; you will never know what’s going to happen next day, so next time you say that word or you make a horrible comment. Put a pound in a jar and donate the money to a local charity or well known special needs charity. 

Apologies this is a late post just had one of those days today but I still manage to get it up a few hours later. 

13 Reasons why they are having teenage crisis


Introduction 

For all the parents who may either understand or might not understand but will by the end of this stage of dos and don’ts when your teenager had a teen crisis. Believe my parents had three of us having our teenage crisis in our early adult lives about around our 22nd/23rd. No idea what they did there no idea.

13 Reasons why they are having teenage crisis 

So 13 reasons why teenagers have crisis. So many people miss understand teenagers on so many levels in my opinion and adults tend to forget what it’s like being a teenager at the best of times. Or teenagers think their Crisis are actually real until they are lot older and realise what on earth are they thinking. 

Here is the 13 reasons why teenagers have crisis: 

  1. They think their current boyfriend is the one for them for the rest of their lives. (You can never tell if they are going to be childhood sweethearts or not) 
  2. Everything is about them but it’s not (people are going through things that aren’t reversible or won’t change at all) 
  3. May have learning difficulties that won’t change what so ever. But need lots of encouragement of not giving up.
  4. Want attention for themseleves 
  5. Always want the next best thing 
  6. Cyber bullying 
  7. Bullying 
  8. Judging people’s looks
  9. Comparing themselves to others, magazines and etc
  10.  Mental Heath Issues 
  11. Exam Pressure 
  12. Struggling to find themselves 
  13. Peer Pressure

There is so many reasons and I was literally struggling with the 13 reasons why they have crisis and they don’t get heard. If there is anything that I’ve missed out that you like to add please comment below. 

Teachers ideas

if your a teacher and your doing citizenship why not copy this, and ask them what they think being a teenager and when they feel like having a crisis coming on. Get them to contribute in class and see how many they can find on the list and is there anymore to add to the list. Also get them to think what could school do more off to help with students who need more help and etc in their everyday lives at school, at home or social lives. 

Don’t forget to speak out if you are in a crisis it is hard to speak up about things that are troubling you but at the end of the day. Your the one to make the choice of being able ask for help than suffer in silence.
Good luck 

Xx