Star Light Categories – Throwbackthursday – What bothers me?

What bothers me on this late hour of Thursday (19.7.18) is that no matter what I do whether it’s my blogging on my daily lifestyle I generally feel like I’m not working hard enough. I know it’s all in my head but it bothers me the point of wanting to give up on everything. I was talking to my friend earlier about this they said I shouldn’t because I’m strong enough person to carry on doing what I love doing; it’s also end of term, along with you just started your new medication as well so your going to be pretty much rubbish for awhile. 

To be honest she’s right just tying with last nights Wednesday Evening Post at 8 last night (18.7.18) the one with is crying a sign of weakness or that you been strong for so long that post. If you haven’t read it go on go and read it; it will all make sense to you and this one, or you make sense of this one without reading the other one. Either which read it anyways because it’s awesome.

I really do sometimes feel really unappreciated monjority of the time in what I do no matter what; I’m generally saying this as a whole where I do so much for a lot of people, no matter where I go and what I do I get the impression that I’m not good enough. 

One thing that got to me yesterday doing my job (18.7.18) that I got given a present from a child and their parents because they really appreciated of me looking after their child for so long whilst the original person that they normally was off sick. Plus their child keeps on requesting after me and loves the fact that they see them laughing and being happy seeing me in the mornings. 

Yeah that’s a good thing for me because I like to have a impact on a child’s life and make them happy. It distracts me a lot even if I have to play nursery rhymes on which currently sends me to sleep which isn’t good. So I’m trying to fight it off every time but at least I don’t have to sing them because I would be making them up as I go along to which I normally do in the first place. Good old internet when you need it at the best of times. 

This probably sounds like I’m a needy person but I’m not it’s down to determination and want to succeed well at the end of the day. Yet I never get a chance to succeed in life where I want to do things that I want to do because there’s always something holding me back or things happen that get me into trouble. The fact that I don’t care but other people do care at the end of the day and I don’t think about it but it bothers me when people say you can’t do this, you can’t do that and so on. 

Then what am I suppose to do go and jump off a cliff or something if someone told me to do that? Sorry… I won’t even do that because I’m scared of heights anyway so that’s bad luck for anyone else who tells me to go and do it. Sorry this kind of turned into a rant. 

Star Light Categories – (28.6.18)- #throwbackthursday – Who believes in 3’s?

Who believes in 3’s? I don’t know if I do or not but I’ve just had my two day; well this evening (28.6.18) down to something knocking over a pint of peach squash all over my floor, then just got in the bathroom and got into the bath as you do. What did I do? Yep forgot my pjs. Ready for the third one now don’t know what that would be but I just hope that I’m in bed before then before anything else. However bless technology when your in dyer need when your stuck in the bathroom; you get to message your sister to get your dressing gown along with the wet floor, I could of left that bit out and make her stand in it. I’m not that mean to her unless I forget and she moan at me for not telling her but that would be fair point to her. 

It literally was like space of me coming up stairs after taking my medication to my room; having the accident, going back downstairs realising that I left my iPad and leads on the kitchen window top and coming back up putting my leads in my room. Then running my bath after the accident and everything that I literally forgot to do or pick up that’s when I realised I forgot my pjs. 

Yesterday however was even weirder than that. (27.6.18) normally I don’t get nightmares when I’m on medication it’s normally the other way around I get them. It was weird I had a panic attack in my sleep on a friend doing face time or something;  once that was over I had another dream similar with another friend, this time it was with snakes and alligators. I’m literally thinking what is going on why I am having panic attacks in my sleep. 

I did wake up however thinking that’s weird was I screaming or something in myself I have done that literally 7 months ago Christmas Day going into Boxing Day around then literally waking my mum up screaming or yelling in my sleep. That’s just without my medication. I seriously don’t dream that much to be honest with you but oh boy when you know when I’m dreaming I’m dreaming whether it’s good or bad. Things happen don’t they for a reason. 

Star Light Categories: (14.6.18) #throwbackthursday: Why are my eyes feel so puffy?

So last night (13.6.18) tried to sleep as you do when one is tired but you can’t because you might wake up at stupid o’clock the time you want to sleep so you stay up a bit longer. As the hour passes you start to fall asleep through your favourite YouTube videos what do you do? Stop what you’re doing and try to get some sleep but oh no something doesn’t want you to go to sleep.

I knew this time my mind wasn’t the one that was causing the problem this time; nor the heat or the cold with the window being open and closed, what else could possibly go wrong now? Correct I gave you a clear clue in the title for tonight’s blog. Why is my eyes so puffy?

Come to realisation that it could well and truly been hayfever annoying thing because now I can actually breathe through my nose other sounded stuffy and bunged up. Today (14.6.18) is been nice and cool not to hot and not too cold. Just about right with the clouds forming.

Right now my eyes still hurts but not as bad as it has been and I’ve also found out why I’ve been blacking out recently. It’s because I leave the house on a empty tummy a few times and there’s nothing for my medication to feed off from. All sorts themselves out in the end one way or another in the end. Lesson learnt not to go out on a empty tummy grab a piece of bread whilst leaving the house.

#throwbackthursday: Haunted Mansion board game

Today (12.4.18) I was keeping one of my grandparents entertained whilst one of my parents were doing bits and pieces; bless them that they have dementia but the classic grandparent and granddaughter relationship, where we have our sass and etc. 

However the board game called “Haunted Mansion” quite an old game to play I use to play it a lot when I was growing up when I went round my grandparents house. Sadly one of my grandparents don’t remember it but it was one of my all time favourite games but I had to pack it away because they were going on about it that they didn’t know where it came from and what not. 

The game was so fun but I can’t remember how you play it but if I remember it rightly if you land on a space that was a purple card with a witch on it. You read it and if something like a something unexpected to happen it triggers the something to knock your player off the board. I can’t remember rightly how to play it  but it something like that.  

It’s better know as Which Witch? It’s a children’s board game that was published in 1970 by the Milton Bradley Company it was also invented by Joseph M. Burck of Marvin Glass and Associated. The board represents a house the lay out on the board has four large rooms; the Broom Room, the Witchin’ Kitchen, the Spell Cell and the Bat’s Ballroom. 

You have to assemble the game before playing into a three dimensional model house with vertical walls and a large plastic chimney in the center. There are four tokens coloured red, yellow, blue and green. Each token is shaped like a child either a boy or a girl with four corresponding mouse tokens of identical colour. 

If anyone remembers this game give it a like or a comment below because it would be nice to know who remembers this game. It would be awesome to know. 

#throwbackthursday: The wish list that never made it

Finally caught up what I needed out of my makeup box and now hair and makeup doubles of things box currently not an ideal box/basket thing by it will do for now. You’re probably thinking why does she need a new hair brush don’t she have another one? I have got another hair brush but I like two hair brushes one to keep in my bag and one in my normal daily life but I tend to lose one in my room but I broke one a few weeks ago let’s not get into it on how I broke it. I do double of things up and planning on getting some from the store and some from online so it’s easier for me to have the doubles come at different times.
So here is my wish list if I had money and all that jazz.

Superdrug Haul Wish List April 2018
Red Passion Live hair dye x2
Primer Barry M x2
Finished ivory foundation Barry M x2
Lasting perfection purple colour correction concealer Collection x2
Lasting perfection colour concealer Fair 2 Collection x2
Extreme bold 24 felt tip callgraphy liner Collection x2
The nudes maybelline New York eyeshadow x2
Revolution make up london ultra cream contour palette x2
Revolution make up london ultra base corrector x2
Collection pressed powder x2
Collection sheer loose powder x2
Revolution make up london contour kit 02 x2
New hair brush

#throwbackthursday: “You never really ready to save me” – Story Based

All I do is think of you and what all you’ve done can you tell me do you see or have I gone? While the whitest eyes are wasting tears. Have you just left me here? I need too much but the timing is wrong but in another time in another place would I even be awake?
You told me to let go when I had my eyes closed but why would wake me if you’re not going to save me from me? You made me wan you even though I didn’t want to tell me why would you wake me if you’re not going to save me? I didn’t know what you’d become the thought never occurred to me that I would see you run; yet you should off left me to sleep and now you really shouldn’t of waked me up, and now it’s chemical that you were never mine.
When I needed you I couldn’t find another time or another place but would I even be awake? So just talk to me. What is going on all the things that I’ve heard were never meant to be so please talk to me don’t go. You told me to let go when I had my eyes closed why would you even wake me if you’re not going to save me? You made me want you even though I didn’t want to so why did you wake me if you’re not going to save me?
You were never ready to save me!

#throwbackthursday: What have you done today to make you feel proud?

As you may of guessed my head hasn’t really been with it this week as much like last week but I’m slightly getting there I think. She says with few red marks on the outside of her elbow arm on the radiator that was on; didn’t really think much off it to be honest because I was happily colouring in my next picture that I had made, along with watching something on the Really app yeah I could feeling it burning but didn’t really think much off it. That’s what you get for not wearing long sleeves.
However with the whole what have you done today to make you feel proud? Well I manage to do a days work with two shifts morning and afternoon with a same driver and the a supposed run at lunch time but cancelled whilst on it haha but hey get paid for it. Even though I didn’t really fancy working at all today to be honest but someone has to earn money don’t they.
In the mist of people making it out that it’s my fault for things as per normal but I managed to create a new picture and corrected it somehow but not sure if I like it or not heyho. Still in the works but I’ve also made a healthy dinner this evening for myself; I know people me craving health food when I’m also craving junk food at the same time, I definitely need my head scanned to see if I’m feeling alright haha.
What have you done today to make yourself feel proud? I would love to know to be honest but I know you guys won’t comment haha. Unless you do then I’m proud of you that you made yourself proud that you achieved something.

#throwbackthursday: Lizzysweeklyblogs Success so far

Might do everything backwards today because I feel like it and because I can hehe. So yesterday (14th March 2018) from the minute I woke up to the time I went to bed had to be one of those days where I was like I was being back at my old job that everything seemed to be going wrong but it wasn’t. However today on #throwbackthursday I wanted to share with you guys something very special and something that I’ve only just learnt recently.

If you remember me starting out from day one back in November 2015 where I was starting out but haven’t got a clue what I was doing. I learnt that the other day I had a loads of subscribers without even noticing I had that category my apologies to anyone that I completely ignored. It was set up by an email that I didn’t know at the time or figured out to access it; I’ve now changed so that I know who is registering and who’s posting, if you are one of those people that I didn’t haven’t clue about I’m 100% sorry but this blog is for you. I wanted to share how many subscribers I’ve got so far with you guys and I’m so proud that you guys have been subscribing to me and continuing to as well. Thank you ever so much guys.

We come to followers yes it’s only 5 followers but I’m pretty sure it will raise slowly; yet it got me thinking why everyone is boasting about the whole how many followers they were getting, I was like I’m not getting much no matter how many blogs I do and so on. That’s when I realised everyone has been subscribing to my blog website; I don’t mind either way if you follow you follow you subscribe you subscribe, either which I’m happy but secretly would be nice to see more than 5 and that’s just me to be honest I think I just need to work on that a bit more haha.

Making the mark of 50 likes of my blog post is a great sense of achievement because it shows that my work is actually amazing because I know how critical I am about my work and my pictures. The fact that it’s giving me the voting confidence and believe in myself that it isn’t rubbish but also starting to find my leash or niche whatever you call it theses days. Just want to say a massive thank you to you guys in believing in me and liking my blogs.


#throwbackthursday: Abused the good nature of people

Don’t even understand why some people who say that they need help and advice but yet you be there for you know matter what for them; all of the sudden they turn the other direction or turn a blind eye by coming so manipulative, controlling and throw everything right back into your face when you needed them as well but you can’t tell them the problems because they somehow manage to turn it back onto themselves.
I’ve had that a few times over the years I get close to people think I can trust them; then all of the sudden they got you where they want you, yet you hate yourself more because you swore to yourself that you wouldn’t get into that situation again and your like what’s the point in life.
No matter how much I tried to help a friend out who ever it is they seem to not listen or be bothered to help themselves because they say they can’t or they don’t know how yet you know they can and even they know how to do it. You told them how it works but don’t expect the friend who’s helping them to do it for them; guess what they do you know why? It’s because it could be down to their parents or parent that they are living with can’t help themselves or don’t encourage them to take control of their emotions themselves.
So this shows they think it’s okay to be like it as well. Which isn’t right at all and I get told loads of times that I’m a lot stronger than them; I tell them I’m not that strong but I learn to turn to do it for myself, work with my close friends to help me get through it and that’s how it makes me stronger otherwise whatever the problem is take over and control me. That’s when I decide will I let it define me and make my life hell or take control and put it through hell? I could easily go for the easy option but where would that get me?
No where! Correct I choose to take control because it’s my life and not give up on fighting for myself and my right to be here as much as anyone else to be here. I learn to move on and meet new people. Not keep on looking on the past yes it will come up now and then but guess what I know how to control it every time.
Just don’t let people abuse you’re good nature if they don’t want to help themselves because at the end of the day; you have to look after yourself the number one otherwise you will go under as well, because they will make you feel like crap as well as they don’t seem to care about you either.

Thursday’s Online Diary Entries: Thank god Valentines Day is over!

Thank god Valentines Day and it’s Challenge is over for another year; I hope you liked the Valentines Challenge this year give a thumbs up, and a follow if you like to see more challenges and etc throughout the year and so forth. For me Valentine’s Day for me is a waste of space I always hated it; this year I hated it even more to be honest because I wished that I stayed in bed to be honest with you, all I did was having personal problems, crying, stressed and everything else. To which to be fair could of been helped if everything went to plan if things actually happened but it didn’t.

Really don’t want to think about it to be honest. What is the point of pleasing everyone? When other people can’t be bothered to respect anyone or do anything on how they want it to be? Not even sure who actually invented it in the first place to be honest. I’m just generally having a rant because I can really on a Wednesday night writing this and hit published.

I haven’t ranted for awhile over stupid things to be honest. That’s what you get when you go to sleep at 5:30 in the morning and then everything still falls apart because of it all. At least I made lasagne from scrap with help of course and I didn’t really particularly want to do it in the first place. Yes of course it’s all good to learn and all when you have your own place and etc. Rant over because I’m starting to repeat myself and getting worked up by things that I can’t control.