Monday Online Diary Entries: “Just makes me want to scream” – Story Based

So tired of the injustice of the world that I live in; tired of the schemes that we have in this world it’s kind of disgusting where people don’t understand what it means, it’s kicking me down making me depressed and my anxiety is rocketing high and as I get up again the jack drops to the point of the whole system sucks.

Peaking in the shadows which will always come to the light when you tell me I’m wrong but then again you better prove me that you’re right. You’re slowly selling out of your lies because I only care about what’s mine and my rights. I’m going to get stronger because I won’t give up the fight that you started. There’s so much confusions that it makes me want to scream with all of your basing and bruising which you claim that you’re a victim but yet I know you’re scheme. I’m the one who is a victim because I’m trying to cope with every lie that you make out but you are scrutinising yourself more by shooting yourself in the foot. Somebody please have mercy on me because I just can’t take it anymore.

Stop pressuring me! Just stop pressuring me! It just makes me want to scream so tired of telling the story in your way of how it went because it’s confusing the whole situation if you’re telling the lies. Yet you think it’s okay telling it. The rules keep on changing while your playing the game just to get it your own way. I just can’t take it much longer I think I might just go insane.

Oh my god I just can’t believe what I saw as I turned on the tv this evening; I was so disgusted by all of the injustice that we suffers don’t get. As I watched on the news another child killed themselves due to bullying  and hate crime; nobody knew about it or what was going on before it was too late to intervene, it just makes me want to scream because of people don’t understand of what’s going on around them. Even if you scream and cry out for help no one will believe you.

Sunday Online Diary Entries: “Unbroken” – Story Based

My test feels so locked up tight like I would never feel again; like I’m stuck in some love prison but with high anxiety, and they threw away the key, terrified that I wouldn’t be saved no way to get help and then I stared into your eyes which made me realise the possibilities. I’m going to try and love you like I’ve never been broken by you but I’m going to tell you like it is as if it’s never been spoken tonight I’m going try and let go. I’m going to give it like it’s never been taken but I’m going to fall like I don’t need saving.

I stayed in my tower because you fell into the trap congratulations you played the same thing as everyone else all the same lies that people say but different face. There’s something in the words you say that makes it all real but there’s a need for me to run because you’re making me believe in everything and I need to go and hide as you are giving me every little piece of me like a puzzle.

Now I know that you were never really going to save me like I hope you would so please please stop breaking my heart. It can’t take anymore pain from you because I can’t breathe anymore and I can’t cope anymore. I want to sleep like I don’t have to wake up to feeling the pain that you have caused. You were never ready to save me.

Saturday Online Diary Entries: “Wide awake and your not here” – Story Based

I’m wide awake falling through the dark that I’m in; no hands to grab hold especially yours because I’m falling hard with an open heart, how did I read the stars so wrong? And now that it’s clear to me that everything you see isn’t all what you seem to be. I’ve been dreaming for so long.

I wish I knew then. What I know now but wouldn’t blow down but gravity hurts but you made it so sweet until I woke up on the concrete. Falling from cloud nine crashing from the highest tower because I’m letting go tonight as I’m losing sleep as I’m picking up every piece that’s broken; as I’m landing on my feet, as I’m wide awake in an unknown place that needs nothing to complete me.

Yes I am born again from the lions den I don’t have to pretend anymore as it’s too late where the story is now over the end. No I’m wide awake with the thunder rumbling with the castles crumbling around me as I am trying to hold on. I am wide awake where god knows that I’ve tried to see the bright side of things because I’m not blind anymore.

Friday Online Diary Entries: “This ain’t a love goodbye” – Story Based

Every night I remembered that evening the way that I looked at you with the way that you knew something was wrong; that’s when I told you that I was leaving you because the amount of times you hurt me with the cruel words and the falsie accusations that you made against me, you didn’t realise how mean it was and the same old frustrations that you took out on me. You didn’t realise that you’ve thrown all of it away because of what you done.

Now I’m a little bit lost without you I’m just a bloody big mess inside this isn’t a love song goodbye. Since I’ve walked away hoping that you would come running after me I’m so tired of being lost and I’m so tired of loosing, all the pain, the hurt and confusion I’ve been so mad about things that I can’t control I’m not one of those people who back down. Yet I’m always finding away coming back to fight even if I’m scare and frightened. I’ll be back and I’ll be coming back to life.

As I know that I’m ready to save myself for all of this pain that it’s not my fault to begin with; yet when the scares are ready to heal I know that I’ll be the one ready to heal properly, I know that this love ain’t a good bye because you know that I’m gonna fight for you no matter what it takes.

Wednesday Online Diary Entries: “Throw those curtains wide” – Story Based

Drinking in the morning sun as I lay out in the garden blinking in the warm morning sun; shaking off all the heavy cold cobwebs that we all had from a very long winter like it was a heavy loaded gun, what made me behave that way? Using the words that I thought I would never say because I can only think it must be live but anyway it looks like a beautiful day.
Someone tell me how I feel by just looking at me but you’re answer is so silly because it’s wrong yet vividly right at the same time; kiss me like it was our final meal tonight as if we were going to die tonight, holy cow I just love your eyes that can only help me to see the light and you’re just laying there with you half awake but look it’s a beautiful day.
When my face is chamois creased you may think I winked at you because I did where you laughed politely as it repeats like you kiss me when my lips are thin. Throw those curtains wide because one day like this a year would honestly see me right; baby just throw those curtains wide as a day like this a year would see me right for life.
Just holy cow I just love your eyes now that I can see the light with you as you thrown the curtains wide like today I could spend my day with you like no one else could. Just throw those curtains wide like today we see the sun beaming down on us.

Teen lifestyle: “Dinosaur” – Story Based

D-I-N-O-S-A-U-R a dinosaur one little child coming up to their father as they were playing in the park. Yet just down in the town centre far away from the father and child; teens huddle in a near by restaurant when a few middle age men who the teens think that they are old, had started to hit on them (meaning coming on to them) and few teens will think this weird and freak them out. By all means which is a right thing to do is by moving away and call for help; however you have other teens who would go and stand up for themselves, which most likely go something like this in my day or still does now I do not know.

D-I-N-O-S-A-U-R a dinosaur an old man hitting on me like what? You need a cat scan. (Pretty sure they don’t even know what a cat scan is I like to point out) old man why are you staring at me eyes on me and my friends? It’s kinda creepy you should be prowling around the Old folk’s home come on due! Leave us alone. At first we thought it was kinda ill when we saw that your were like a billion and still out trying to make a killing. Just get back to the museum.

Hey dinosaur you’re pre-historic that’s what you are; your a carnivore would you like some meat I know it. You’re pretty old. Not long now until you’re a senior citizen you will start strut around with that sexy tank of oxygen; oh honey your toupee is falling to your left side. Get up and go bro! Oh wait you’re fossilised!

Tuesday Online Diary Entries: “I want to scream, I want to shout!” Story Based

No matter what I got to say but I have the words to change a nation yet I’m biting my tongue because I’ve spent my life time stuck in silence yet I’m to afraid that I’ll say something wrong. If no one ever hears it how are we going to learn my song, my story or most importantly my voice. So come on come on let me speak out because this is hurting me as much as you.

I’ve got a heart as loud as the lions in the London Zoo but why do I have to let my voice still be tamed? Maybe we’re a little different but there’s no need to be ashamed because you’ve got the light to fight the shadows away so stop hiding it away, come on come on. I want to sing. I want to shout. I want to scream until the words dry out. I’m not afraid because they can read all about it. Read all about it on how she is a gold digger, she doesn’t love you, she just want to be a princess and live the highlight.

At night we’re waking up the neighbours while the press is at my house making sure that I’m standing my ground; making sure that we’re are remembered that we are in love, we matter too and if the truth is forbidden then we’re breaking all the rules and let the TV and the radio tell our story again and again. It’s about time we got some airplay telling our version of events. There’s no need to be afraid I will shout out that you’re my love of my life.

We are all wonderful people when did we get so fearful? Now that we have finally finding our voices. So take a chance stand next to me help me fight for you.

Monday Online Diary Entries: “The truth about liars” – Story Based

You can say what you want about me and do what you want to me but guess what you cannot stop me from telling the truth of how much of a lair you are about things. I’ve been knocked down so many times in this crazy town; someone even tried to punch me in the face in L.A but there’s nothing in the world that you keep me from doing anything that I want to do, because I’m too proud and I’m too strong to let you ruining my life. At the end of the day you have to life by the code by moving on rather than feeling sorry for yourself because I haven’t got anybody around.
So I held my head high as I knew I’d have to survive through this well that’s because I made it and I don’t hate it that’s just the way it goes. I’ve done it and got through it by standing on my own two feet because I paid my dues of going out with you. You tried to hold me down. Put me down. Yet you can’t stop me. So like I just told you; you cannot will not stop me as I’ve paid my dues.
Now I’m tested everyday people who are trying to mess with me because they’ve got nothing in common because I can handle mine and I thought I better let you know that I’m no punk all because I can’t get down. Tell you the truth I don’t give a damn about who’s around that was fine until now that it took me so long to get myself here; I won’t live in fear anymore of you or you trying my shine agains, because they want to build you up before they tear you down again and it’s a struggle in trying to keep the bubble a float.
Why did you like to everyone? You can’t be trusted you good for nothing type of brother; everything that you claimed to be was a lie because you know that I would be at that place or once went there, and you think everyone will believe your sob stories but actually they come running to me and I put them straight. Why did you lie to everyone you creepy, sneaky little shit your so messed up it’s now time to leave. So bye, bye.

Sunday Online Diary Entries: “Do I really want you back.” – Story Based

Have you ever wonder if this is the last time I see your face? Is it tears or is fucking rain saying “thank god he’s gone” I wish I could say something that doesn’t sound insane but lately I haven’t trusted my brain because you tell me that you’ll change but I just see what you can do and say nothing. No matter where I go I get the same blooming question “do I really want you back?” I know that I will never get over you but then I’m kicking myself because I’m lying to myself every time. I don’t actually want you back because you’re a piece of tool that I’ve thrown at the back of the garage that I don’t want because it’s broken.
Do you always remember how you made me laugh in the mornings when I wake up; yet you don’t understand how much you hurt me even when you try to make it all right, yet I still reach for you and the day I chose to tell you this is going to work anymore because I’m hurting and I’m ready to move on but I still dream of you. I know even when I said that I’ve moved on I’m still dreaming of you; I know that you’re gone now but I still blame myself of where I gone wrong but you come back, into my life saying you’ve changed.
Yet I know when something that kills you makes you stronger because you know that you’re not alone in the end as I’m starting to realise I’m so much better without you. So I ask myself do I really want you back in my life? The answer is no because at the end of the day you hurt me and you have to work on gaining my trust from what you have done to me. All the end it’s worth it because I know your true colours in the end.

Thursday Online Diary Entries: “You know me” Story Based Extra

If any man can pick what he fancied he should just live and breed in captivity because it’s just pointless; you love what you’re doing what you like, when you like, how it makes you happy because only you yourself know yourself. What a waste of all this peace when baby steps and two more sleeps until I get the sorry from you because I get hysterical, historical of love like it’s just a chemical thing between us. Give me something to stop me from having a complete melt down from all of the pain only you know me.

Since you went away my heart breaks everyday because you don’t know as you’re not there to see me cry everyday; you simply found the words to make a lot of feelings fade away or model our feelings, only you know me when I need you the most. I’m doing fine most of the time as the sun shines what are you thinking? Yet at state of my mind can go worst than it can go with me drinking thunderbird wine but I’m drinking because you brought back memories that I told you about.

Yet only you know me when I get into the worst state imaginable but sorry doesn’t cut it out anymore as it’s become more comical than anything that I’ve been through. It’s my life that your toying with; along with my happiness, only wish you knew how horrible this feeling is and them you would know how truly I’m feeling. Only you know me and how to calm me down every single day.