Monday Online Diary Entries: “The truth about liars” – Story Based

You can say what you want about me and do what you want to me but guess what you cannot stop me from telling the truth of how much of a lair you are about things. I’ve been knocked down so many times in this crazy town; someone even tried to punch me in the face in L.A but there’s nothing in the world that you keep me from doing anything that I want to do, because I’m too proud and I’m too strong to let you ruining my life. At the end of the day you have to life by the code by moving on rather than feeling sorry for yourself because I haven’t got anybody around.
So I held my head high as I knew I’d have to survive through this well that’s because I made it and I don’t hate it that’s just the way it goes. I’ve done it and got through it by standing on my own two feet because I paid my dues of going out with you. You tried to hold me down. Put me down. Yet you can’t stop me. So like I just told you; you cannot will not stop me as I’ve paid my dues.
Now I’m tested everyday people who are trying to mess with me because they’ve got nothing in common because I can handle mine and I thought I better let you know that I’m no punk all because I can’t get down. Tell you the truth I don’t give a damn about who’s around that was fine until now that it took me so long to get myself here; I won’t live in fear anymore of you or you trying my shine agains, because they want to build you up before they tear you down again and it’s a struggle in trying to keep the bubble a float.
Why did you like to everyone? You can’t be trusted you good for nothing type of brother; everything that you claimed to be was a lie because you know that I would be at that place or once went there, and you think everyone will believe your sob stories but actually they come running to me and I put them straight. Why did you lie to everyone you creepy, sneaky little shit your so messed up it’s now time to leave. So bye, bye.

Sunday Online Diary Entries: “Do I really want you back.” – Story Based

Have you ever wonder if this is the last time I see your face? Is it tears or is fucking rain saying “thank god he’s gone” I wish I could say something that doesn’t sound insane but lately I haven’t trusted my brain because you tell me that you’ll change but I just see what you can do and say nothing. No matter where I go I get the same blooming question “do I really want you back?” I know that I will never get over you but then I’m kicking myself because I’m lying to myself every time. I don’t actually want you back because you’re a piece of tool that I’ve thrown at the back of the garage that I don’t want because it’s broken.
Do you always remember how you made me laugh in the mornings when I wake up; yet you don’t understand how much you hurt me even when you try to make it all right, yet I still reach for you and the day I chose to tell you this is going to work anymore because I’m hurting and I’m ready to move on but I still dream of you. I know even when I said that I’ve moved on I’m still dreaming of you; I know that you’re gone now but I still blame myself of where I gone wrong but you come back, into my life saying you’ve changed.
Yet I know when something that kills you makes you stronger because you know that you’re not alone in the end as I’m starting to realise I’m so much better without you. So I ask myself do I really want you back in my life? The answer is no because at the end of the day you hurt me and you have to work on gaining my trust from what you have done to me. All the end it’s worth it because I know your true colours in the end.

Thursday Online Diary Entries: “You know me” Story Based Extra

If any man can pick what he fancied he should just live and breed in captivity because it’s just pointless; you love what you’re doing what you like, when you like, how it makes you happy because only you yourself know yourself. What a waste of all this peace when baby steps and two more sleeps until I get the sorry from you because I get hysterical, historical of love like it’s just a chemical thing between us. Give me something to stop me from having a complete melt down from all of the pain only you know me.

Since you went away my heart breaks everyday because you don’t know as you’re not there to see me cry everyday; you simply found the words to make a lot of feelings fade away or model our feelings, only you know me when I need you the most. I’m doing fine most of the time as the sun shines what are you thinking? Yet at state of my mind can go worst than it can go with me drinking thunderbird wine but I’m drinking because you brought back memories that I told you about.

Yet only you know me when I get into the worst state imaginable but sorry doesn’t cut it out anymore as it’s become more comical than anything that I’ve been through. It’s my life that your toying with; along with my happiness, only wish you knew how horrible this feeling is and them you would know how truly I’m feeling. Only you know me and how to calm me down every single day.

Online Diary Entries: “Only Teardrops” – Story Based

I look across the dessert from my window of the place the sky looks red tonight; like we are on the edge tonight due to our fight I couldn’t see no shooting star this time to guide us, yet we see eye to eye at the best of times but I don’t understand why we tear each other apart? Please tell me why we make it so hard? Look at us now in our separate rooms we’ve only got ourselves to blame it’s such a shame.
How many times can we win and loose? How many times can we break the rules? That’s between us but only teardrops that will fall; tell me how many times do we have to fight? And how many times till we get it right between us? Until the only thing is the tear drops. Please come and face me now take me into your arms let me cry and leave the past behind us.
Eye for an eye for lots of questions in my head that I don’t understand; why do we tear each other apart? Please tell me why do we make it so hard? Look at us now we got ourselves to blame it’s such a shame; as I’m crying letting my tear drops roll down my face ruining what’s left of my make up in my face, crying myself to sleep because I don’t understand how many times we have to fight? And how many times til we get it right? Between us but only tear drops.
Tell me now what’s gone between us? What has become between us? Tell me please tell me what’s gone between us? Has something become between us? Yet you don’t tell me anything but blame for it all yet your also to blame. Only teardrops that fall.

Saturday Online Diary Entries: “Overprotected” – Story Based

I need time. Love. Joy. I need space. I need me. Well say “hello” to the girl that I am you have to understand by going through my perspective of being overprotected by my parents. Off course you do because you know I need to make mistakes just to learn who I am because being protected by everything; I just can’t breathe anymore, I can’t sleep, I can hear you down on the other end of the line saying “there must be another way because I believe in taking chances” and who am I to say what a girl needs to do by god I need some answers from you.

What am I suppose to do with my life? You will find out don’t worry. How am I supposed to know what’s right? You just got to do it your way. I can’t help the way I feel because my life has been so overprotected. I tell them what I like. What I want. What I don’t want. Every time I do I stand corrected the things that I’ve been told aren’t really what the seem to be; I can’t believe what I hear about the world I soon realise that I’m overprotected, I need time, love, I need space because this is it.

I don’t need nobody to be telling me what I need to do or what I can’t do. It’s all about what I want to do as it’s about my destiny because I can say “no”; nobody will tell me just what I have to do because I want to do what I want to do, I’m so fed up with people telling me who I should be why can’t someone else do it but me.

I’m going to break these chains and live my life no matter how protective people are over me; however I am so done with it all be overprotective of someone else for a change, I want to live my life the way I want it not their way.