There were nights when the wind was so cold like my body had froze in bed; if I had tried to listen to it as it was gusting right outside my bedroom window, I would of hoped to hear your voice once again and maybe give me a clue why you had left me so young. The were even days when the sun was so cruel that all of my tears felt like that they had turned into dust like I just knew my eyes were drying up forever whenever I got bullied; theres was nothing for me to cry because I was already a broken soul, all of the memories just came flooding back to me.
I remembered the day I had finished crying since the day you left but I can’t remember where, or when or even how. I had banished every memory you and I had ever made; the thought of you coming back to me being a parent once again in my life, you gave me a hug like you never disappeared and you gave me birthday presents like this and now it’s all coming back to me. It’s so hard to believe but it’s all coming back to me.
There were moments of gold and there were flashes of light in the sky where I sworn I hold never do again. Yet they’ve always seemed right but there were nights of endless cries but the system had laws that we weren’t allowed to do. All of the fun memories that we made me was all lost long time ago like it was dead to the world. Yet it’s so hard to resist when you walked back into my life I can barely recall all of those days in that moment of dark haunted adoption place.
There were so many empty threats and hollow lies they told me; that no one wanted me just like my parents did, it hurt me even more worse and so much deeper and there were so many hours that just went on for days. Yet when it came to my new adoptive family came there were so many chances it wouldn’t be me.
Now that I see the evil women I know now that she’s just a history with the slamming of the door and I made myself strong again and never wasted any of my time on her since then. As it’s all coming back to me from day one entering that house. The flesh and the fantasies of getting out of there I can barely recall but it’s all coming back to me now.
If I could forgive you for all this and if I can forgive you all that. I might forgive and forget but it’s all coming back to me. When you see me like this as I see you as that I just like to tell you how much hell you put me through because now you know how it feels; you seek for my forgiveness but it’s all coming back to me now.