Star Light Categories – Sunday Special – Oh Father God how could you?

Oh father god how could you? All the tears that I have shared when I had no one to turn around to; you say you got me and I got you, but you never been there to answer my prayers and now it’s over for good. All the memories that I have fighting for my life everyday through out the past x amount years; I made my way through life without your guidance, even when I got into trouble you weren’t around you just sat there watching me fail. 

Now that my head is pounding I can’t seem to turn around or get through this mind field; you say you’re my father but you really not my father wouldn’t let me fall to the ground, no matter how angry he gets with me because I know how much he loves and yet I know how hurt he is deep down. 

Did I pick a bad leaf or something because I seem to be the one continuing messing up my life more and more. Oh father god thank you for all tears that I have shared I don’t think I can heal as much as I can. Oh father god how could you? Every time I turn around you weren’t there no matter what dreams that I have or problems that o have you were never there for me, 

You’re like everyone else who just let people suffer no matter what because what have they done to you nothing. Yet I always pull through on my own because I’m stronger than this and that’s how I am. I always pull through. 

Sunday Special Topics: Dancing in the storm!

Sunday Post I should of been away but things happened so I decided to dance in the storm but I really just don’t care anymore. That’s how I feel right right now but I’m not literally dancing in the storm guys; it’s just the feeling like I’m the one in the wrong all the time, maybe it’s just me who knows who knows. I normally by now joke about that I’m not sorting out my characters from my stories when the storm comes to the U.K. 

Way too warm to be able to sleep to be honest and yes I’ve written this in the middle of the night. Just casually watching the storm lighting up the sky it’s so pretty and bright. If you have me on Instagram or not yet there’s a video clip of the storm it’s @lizzysmornings it’s on there if you like to check it out and follow me on there too. 

With only about two and half ours sled this morning one of the houses in my areas decided to let their dog out; what does it do as soon as it gets out? Yes that’s it barks yap yap yap, I do have to point out this is and was at 7:00am in the morning of Sunday. Along with wait for it wait for it “Toby…Toby…Toby” a but respectful than normal but yet not really what you wanted first thing on a Sunday morning. 

I hope you guys have a good day, stay safe and enjoy you’re sunny Sunday whilst it lasts. 

Sunday Special Topics: I think my life is like a rock!

You’re probably thinking why is she comparing her life as a grey rock; I can answer you that it was the wrestler turned actor Dwayne “The Rock” what’s his face name gave me the idea for the title as I just saw his picture on something, I was contemplating about my life like I do most days and I was just like I just want to hit someone or some people with my rock or a brick because they annoy me to the point of they needing one thrown at them. By the way I wouldn’t do that anyway neither should you in the first place. Good thanks for the promise. 

Sometimes I rather just lay underneath my rock and just stay there. Don’t want to come out or nothing because what’s the point in life if there’s not much to do or anything loads of thoughts in my head. I rather just hide away in my cosy rock that I call “home” or “my comfort rock” not sure how a rock can be comfy but you can give it ago.

I find that people who come across me think I’m bubbly, funny, find it more funny that I say it how it is, relaxed and etc. At the best of times can’t work me out if I’m dead serious or not until I crack a smile of I just got you and burst out laughing. When I’m not myself and burst out crying they don’t even know what to do with me because I’m normally like the bubbly person to be around. You know they are trying to help but never know what to do. 

I’m like it’s fine I’m just having a blip and the next minute I’m mucking about and having a laugh with everyone. I always find away of knowing how to bounce back when I’m having one the blip moment. Yeah my life is like a rock that I just want to throw one at someone, stay underneath or just crumble that’s basically my cycle my routine if you like to call it. Just had to double check the correct spelling of grey if I had the right one for the my britishness and it’s says “grey” and “gray” are accepted in English language so it doesn’t matter which word I use it still same word and meaning. Just the US prefer to use “Gray” in their English language. Fun fact for a Sunday. 

Sunday Special Topics: “By The Time” – Story Based

Don’t wake up. Won’t wake up can’t wake up. No don’t wake me up. It’s the early morning as the lights flick on sleepy eyes peek through the blinds at something wrong; motionless remains the mess of someone who has been crying it’s such a shame, such a beautiful beautiful young life disappearing right before your eyes. By the time I’m dreaming you’ve crept out on me sleeping I was blissfully unaware what was happening. Tell me how am I suppose to care if you don’t wake me to check it out.

Don’t wake up. Won’t wake up. I can’t wake up no don’t wake me up. I blame myself for your death and our child. A trail of bloody clothes of the 2 year old why did you both have to go and me behind; if it wasn’t for you’re screams waking me up I wouldn’t off known what was happening before it was happening, the dream that I had wasn’t so blissful at all.

Tell me how am I supposed to care if I hadn’t let you go in my arms it could of been different now I’ll never know. I didn’t get the chance damn the person who killed you but I will find them make sure what they have done to you is real. If you could forgive me Lord and look after the love of my life and my child to keep them safe better than I could.

Sunday Special Topics: When someone asks you to read something?

I’m one of those people who hate reading out loud especially when I was at school because I knew I struggle reading at the best of times and refuse to as I know I would be laughed at etc. So I would void it completely unless everyone was taking it in turns then there was no way I could get out of it but to be honest there wasn’t much to read out loud over the years at secondary school (high school).
It wasn’t because I was dumb or refused to it was because I knew I would struggle with certain words in text books due to the fact that I have a learning disability. Which means I have dyslexia and language difficulties; you may think that I write so many blogs, stories and etc how on earth I have this learning difficulties, I actually keep it quiet and just fight my way through it. Yeah I through in now and then words or have the wrong language tense in once in a while so that people who know me that has it be like this isn’t her sort of writing then realise “oh wait yeah it is”.
It only really got to me when a grandparent asked me how to read something because they couldn’t say the word (by the way they have dementia and they read a lot but forgets words easily) then I was great she’s asking me how to pronounce “RailRoad” it was bad enough I struggle with my R’s at the best of times. I literally had to concentrate whilst speaking loudly because they can’t hear; it took me at least 5 attempts to get it right whilst they were trying to hear, my parents however were in the garden pruning the trees back so it was me and my grandparent no one else could come and save me on that front.
It doesn’t bother me if I struggle but it’s annoying when I have to constantly concentrate on certain words if I’m talking to someone or want to use a good word. I give up and try something else because it’s getting to the point I just get upset and annoyed with myself more than the other person. I genuinely pick fights with myself because that’s how I know I have to try harder than any one else. Without writing I wouldn’t of made so much progress with my spelling but there’s people who are like me who would just give up and not even bother to prove themselves to get better. I chose to write than continue with maths I hate maths with a passion.
Any further or do I’m starting to ramble a bit I think so I’m going to stop there haha. We all know when I start to ramble I’m like running out of ideas. Hehe. Catch you laters.