Daily Challenges – Summer Challenge – Day 28 – Creating, colouring pictures and tidying.

Over the next coming weeks or months you may notices that there will be new pictures with different pictures that I’ve coloured in from my apps that I colour on. This is because I do at least 4-5 colouring in pictures a day where I can relax, chill and so on. I prefer to challenge myself the number of colouring pictures because I find it exciting and fun to do. 

The fact that I use my pictures that I colour for my blogs I do post them up on Instagram as well but with the blog post design because I think it’s a sense of achievement of being able to do things with ones mental health and etc. 

Yeah I’ve put tidying up there as a challenge believe me when it comes to my room it’s always a challenge trust me. Especially when we are getting a few animals soon I have to get it tidy and clean incase they decide to explore my room. Everyone hates tidying one way or another but for me I find it slightly difficult not sure why but it does. 

I have good days where I just get on with it and be okay with it sometimes I’m like I really can’t bothered to the point of I’m so stressed with it I become all negative with myself I know it’s not great but it’s who I am. I have to stop because I know that I’ll end up crying and can’t do anymore with it. Then focus on it the next day because I’ll have a clear head by then. 

Daily Challenges – Summer Challenge – Day 27 – Kitten Proofing everything

(7.8.18) Today’s challenge and the next few days leading up to getting the kittens we’ve been getting things ready by getting things for the kittens and kitten proofing the house and the garden as much as we can thinking what would they do get into and what not. 

It’s a bit of a challenge in the first place just getting things done, washing the things that they could be sitting on and get infected by etc. It’s like saying there’s a new born baby coming and you got to proof everything around the baby in so many levels. 

We literally read up about our fishes this morning and I confirmed what my parents that they were up too. So we more likely getting baby fishes too anytime soon due to this weather. “Great timing guys” unless they were jealous that we probably won’t give them much time we will. We just need to remember to close one of the doors in the kitchen and lobby to stop the kittens escaping for the day. 

It’s pretty much go go go at the moment in the house hold. I can’t wait for them to come to be honest with you. Going to be such fun. 

Daily Challenges – Summer Challenge – Day 25-Where in my life do I feel like I need to take control?

Sometimes I either challenge myself a lot of the time and to be able to achieve things in life. Sometimes I challenge myself feel great about myself until someone tears me down or I don’t even bother challenge myself because I know that I’m not good enough or people say I’m not good enough. 

I basically hate that feeling so much to be honest with you. This is one of my fears and one of the things that I need to take control off because I genuinely want to feel positive about myself knowing that the challenges that I have set and that I’ve taken control I know I’ve set in the right direction. However it’s either my mental health that brings me down or someone else. 

That’s probably partly why I’m so defensive all the time because I hate when people bring me down when they are either constantly reminding me of things or my own mind is reminding me the things that I can’t do. One of the reasons why I need to take control of my life because I don’t want to live like that anymore. It is harder than you think. 

It’s one of my continuely thing that I have to take control no matter how hard it is like one of my sisters kittens name Boghney don’t even know how to spell or say it. Yeah it’s not my cat at the end of the day so I literally have no choice in the matter. Sorry just feeling pretty miffed with a few things just before going to bed. Good night for this challenge.

Daily Challenges – Summer Challenge – Day 24 “What is your dream job?” Not taking the question seriously

I normally do a story for these challenges but today’s one I’m just going to just a challenge with a question; I’m not going to take this seriously because it’s just for fun, I know this is going to be delayed by a day but I had a bit busy day on this day. I’ll let you know in the Daily Stories because you never know what happened. 

What is my dream job? I always joked with my sister when we would watch Most Haunted when they use to bring in mediums and they start picking up things about the house or where they have been too. I was like if I was dead I would so be listening in; would most likely to punch them in the face or something like that, just to scare them and muck about because that’s what I would so do. 

That would be my dream job if I was dead as a spirit I would just muck about and send everyone on edge as much as I could because I know I would be dead. Didn’t need tell me twice or a third especially if you asked a stupid question just get a hit around the head or something. 

I would so love that job just to scare a Paranormal Team once I’ve passed over because they wouldn’t know if I was demonic or just a friendly ghost just causing mayhem for the fun.  

Daily Challenges – Summer Challenges – Day 23 – Breathe Slow

I put my ice skating shoes on I’m running out of patience because I can’t believe what the hell I’m hearing and speaking of hell. It don’t compare to this heat that I’m feeling because I love what I am doing too much. It goes to show that all my emotions go into the dance on the ice rink; you think it’s out of control but yet it’s so good for me bad for you, yet you realise I can hardly see from the tears that flow down my face and I count to 10 as this song means so much to me.

I am going to breathe slow count from 10 because you better take it in this competition is mine I’m not going to lie or even try. The wheel keeps on spinning and I ain’t the one to show that the gun isn’t going to threaten me like it did all those years ago. This competition and the song means you know who will be winning because I love this too much and all my emotions are out of control as it came to the end I can hardly see from the tears that flow from my eyes. 

I can’t believe that I did it and not to forget to breathe or close my eyes at the end. Somebody better hold me back because you’re so lucky I know how to act on the ice knowing my parents killers are still out there. I’m being calm and cool about this believe me it’s taking everything that I had to just breathe slow and count to 10. Knowing that I’ve got the top score on the leaderboard with the judges in tears of the dance and the montage of memories that was being shown on the ice. 

Daily Challenges – Summer Challenge – Day 21 I’m begging for mercy

Hitting the beat by taking it out on the bass now. I love you that’s because I got to stay true to myself but I got my morals got me on my knees yet I begging please to stop playing games with me. I don’t know what this is but you got me good just like you knew you would. 

I do t know what you do but you do it well because I’m back under your spell. You got me begging you for mercy why can’t you just realise me; I said realise me because I’m begging you for mercy yet you won’t release me, now you think that I will be something on the side but you got to understand that I need me who can’t take my hand and say “yes I do”. 

I don’t know what this is but you got me good like I knew you would because I really don’t know what you do but you do it well I’m under your spell like I’m begging you for mercy. Why you release me? I said “you better release me. You look at me and think we’re the same kind; I know we aren’t because you don’t know what I’ve got in mind, I really don’t want to waste my time I want a bit more than I’m asking for and you think that I’ll be the other girl. 

Even if it’s from your past who did you wrong or I’m like no other in this world. I just want to have fun, be happy but I just don’t know where you’re coming from and I’m just begging for mercy why can’t you just release me.

Daily Challenges – Challenges On Hold – Summer Challenge on hold why?

The reason why Summer Challenge is currently on hold at the moment is because I’ve decided to have a break from it but however I can split it into August 2018 due to the fact that it will still be summer and I have more stories for you by then for the rest of the Challenge I know it’s only 11 Days left to go but why not finish it in August. Especially with new content and I can think more for it all; explore more, write more and to be able to focus on a bit more. 

Yes I do have to confess I am struggling with some of the ideas of what to do for the rest of the days; I hope you understand that more are coming but at a later date, as you can tell I’ve completely forgot about Teen Lifestyle this week because I was focusing on daily challenges and diary entries and so on. 

So please don’t panic about your daily challenges they are coming back. Just need a bit of breather; you’ll get your stories back soon in a few weeks time with some new story content, be back on the 1st August 2018 so watch this space around them. 

Last Night Everyday Online Diary Entries – Monday 9th July 2018 – Hate not being able to sleep!

Kind of writing this now at night because I can’t sleep no matter how tired I am but yet I’m so anxious that I can barely sleep. I slept so much in between my shifts and meeting for something. I just can’t do any more I’m literally writing this in aid of hoping or falling a sleep soon fingers crossed that I can just fall asleep after finishing it all. 

The past three days things have been so hectic you would think that I wouldn’t be so anxious and drop of to sleep asp right? Wrong! Not with me my mind still continuing to be in that system of na I’m going to keep you up even longer man. After my runs for work I’ve slept to be able to stay awake yet still doesn’t matter how much I sleep I still want to fall asleep no matter where I am; I for one try to stay awake no matter what happens yet it never happens, even if I don’t have a nap I’m still wide awake and my anxiety still kicks in. 

I was so anxious about going to this meeting I really didn’t want to go because it’s a group thing and it was at a church as well. Only a few people knew about my condition so they were pleased that I managed to come but also knew I would be on edge. They knew I would be shattered from the last two days coming to the fun day and the 50th anniversary thing; turning up to this meeting as well so they knew I was trying even when I have had a bad few weekends, so easily for me to see I cannot be sociable for a few weeks now and rest up nice and easy. 

The whole anxiety is annoying to the point of I just want to punch its lights out right now; I know it’s impossible but right now I rather do want to so I can sleep, but at the end of the you really can’t help it and you just have to deal with it as the best you can at the end of the day……

Daily Challenges – Summer Challenge – Day 20 – The hero inside of me

You know I use to hear a voice that said that troubles coming better to stay in bed even tried to run away because I didn’t know my strength because I was shocked; no I couldn’t believe my world rocked it was news to me, until I looked in the mirror today and I looked back and I heard me say I got own it, breathe it, live it like I mean it!

I got the hero in me it’s all I want to be because someone to rely on and looks good on tv. The best part of the day is to save the day that part of the routine so get out of my way this is the job for me! I got to own it, breathe it, live like I mean it. I should be in control and so good to go because it’s time you know what to figure out. 

I got a hero inside of me because it’s all I want to be to have someone to rely on to which looks good on tv. To be able to save the day as it’s like a part of my routine but it’s out of my way; yeah you can say this is a job for me because I have a hero inside of me and that’s all I want to be, someone that everyone can rely on and looks good on tv!

Daily Challenges – Summer Challenges – Day 19 – Am I immortal?

Definition of Immortal – Living forever; never dying or decaying “our mortal bodies are inhabited by immortal souls”

I’m so tired of being here that I’m suppressed by all of my childish fears that you leave me; but in my heart I wish that you would just leave me because I don’t know what to do with your presence as it’s still lingers here, and it won’t leave me alone. I need these wounds to heal but these wounds won’t seem to heal because the pain is just too real. There’s just too much that the time that I have cannot be erased in time. 

As I watched you cry I would always wipe away all of your fears; even when you would scream you will find me fighting away all of your fears, like I have all these years whilst holding your hand through all of these years but you will still have all of me even in your heart. 

When I needed you the most you would use to captivate me by your resonating light which I am bound to life that you left behind; all I can see is your face use to haunts all my bad dreams away, and your face chased away all the sanity in me and all of the thoughts that would make me feel so anxious. 

I’ve tried so hard to tell myself that you’re gone but you’re still with me when I’m all alone all along; I know sometimes it feels that you are so distant but you’re not because in my mind the depression and anxiety, has put itself between us once again and I know that it’s stopping me feel your mother next to me but I know she’s fighting it. 

You will always still have all of me no matter what.