Mental Health Issues: Dreaded Mental Health!

It kickstarts again. No matter how much you try to talk to talk about mental health it’s like saying “you can’t do this. You can’t do that” which reminds me the times that people say to you as a child you can’t play with that your not old enough. You can drink that your not old enough. The list goes on and on to be honest with you. It’s bad enough that you have this horrible feeling that your not allowed to even talk about mental health at all anymore; well that’s what I feel like because as I do suffer from it yes time to time I talk about it, it’s the initial thought of being judged by other people because they will judge you for some reason or another or you come across someone saying “I’ve had a bad experience in my life when growing up but does that make me depressed. I think I never really thought about being depressed. I don’t know why you should be depressed about things. Then again I don’t know what happened in your past so I’m not going to judge” 

I’m there thinking you just got all arms up and being judgemental about someone who has mental health then conderdicted themselves for not being judgemental. That I really don’t understand to be honest because you say one thing then say another and your like you spineless arse. I wake up everyday to fight it even if I’m having a good day I’m still battling it but not as bad as some days that I have done. I have talked to professionals about it all yet it’s draining afterwards and I don’t want to do anything afterwards.

I find talking about myself and things that have gone on in my life a lot harder than just writing about it. I sometimes just write a blog but just to vent and don’t post it because at the end of the day do I really want my whole life story on the social media and the internet not really. I’ve learnt my lesson from the last time and ever since then I’m either constantly being reminded or people still go and run to people that I know will cause more problems. Yeah they are trying to help but at the end of the day I like the people who come to me first than run to other people it shows a bit of respect at the end of the day. That goes with if someone got a problem with me why go to someone else then to me first and try to sort it out. 

Today (10.4.18) is a recovery day for me because I went out yesterday (9.4.18) with my parents it took a lot of hard work for me to get myself out and etc. When I didn’t want to go out but the time we were half way round to near the end I started to not want to be out anymore because I need my space and my time to myself. By the time we got back I just wanted to be left alone to which was okay I then slept for hours to be honest with you. Hoping something would arrive but I’ve got this feeling that it’s not going to come but I’m just anxious about it; nothing worth getting hopes up guys someone wanted me to work on something for them that’s all, yet it hasn’t arrived yet making me anxious because I don’t want it to get lost. 

As you may can tell I’m not one of those people it’s all about me I like to be normal and keep to myself unless I’ll tell how it is then they know and realise don’t get off on the wrong side of me. Fair few have done and backed off. Yet majority of the people like my character and find it funny because I remind them of someone that they know and etc. I do it all the time to my friend Megs because she needs toughing up and I’m always nice to her. The fact that she’s learning a lot in space of a year about herself more so than she realises as she knows what I would say. She knows I don’t mean half what I say but because she realises how much I’m right and she focuses how to change it. That’s all for now folks.

Adventures: Last time I went on adventure was…?

The fact that I’m sitting here writing blogs that are nearly the same old same old. Unless I’m thinking about myself thinking I’m doing the same old same old. Who knows? I was just watching a few YouTube videos as you do because there wasn’t anything else to do to be honest and not a lot on tv to be honest just the same old boring things day in day out.

It got me thinking about how much I missed going down to Southampton, Poole and Bournemouth picking up my best friend Rebekah who was on a placement year that year be coming up to 2 years nearly that I haven’t seen her to be honest. Do miss her now and then because she lives up in Manchester now shame best four to five years off my life being in each other’s pockets. Not saying Meg isn’t my best friend as well but Rebekah and me we use to go on adventures a lot. 

Yeah I went on a mini holiday down to Bournemouth with a friend at Easter but it was only for a night just to get away. I’m currently in the mood to go to London not 100% why but really fancy going and explore to be honest. But going on adventures would be so cool and well and truly needed. To be honest 2 years worth is well and truly need to go and explore. 

Yet it always cost money and all that jazz to be honest. Money that I don’t seem to have to be honest because of everything being so expensive and what not. Haha. Life really sucks to be honest see everyone jetting off here there and everywhere because they CAN! 

I’ll get there in the end I live and hope to be honest with you. I live in hope. If you guys know best places to go that are current safe place to go let me know. Love to explore more of England would love to go up and see my old time best friend Rebekah in Manchester it would be awesome. So far London and Manchester I want to go at the moment other ideas are welcome. 

 

 

Everyday Post: “Would you stand by me” – Story Based

When the night has come once again the land has become dark and the moon is the only light we’ll ever see. No I won’t be afraid as long as you stand by me darling please stand by me; if the sky that we look upon should tumble and fall or the mountain should crumble to the sea I try not to cry or shed a tear just as long as you stand by me.

Please don’t leave me darling because I know that I’ll be afraid without you. Please stand by me as I’m always standing by you whenever you’re in trouble. Would you just stand by me? For the last time.

Short and sweet of someone begging their love one before they passed away to stand by them one last time.