You were my everything that I thought you never were and nothing like I thought you could have ever been but yet no matter how much you hurt me you still live inside of me. So tell me how you still get my hopes up but never do?
You’re the only one I wish I could forget to the only one I love to not forgive but it’s too late that you’re the only one that can get me through the hard times even when I hate you. You know I can’t erase you but the times that you hurt me and out tears on my face even now while I still hate you; it’s pains me to say that I know that I’ll be there at the end of the day, I don’t want to be without you and I don’t want a broken heart and I don’t want to take a breath without you.
I know that I love you but l to me just say I don’t want to love you in no other kind of way; I don’t want a broken heart anymore I don’t want to play the broken hearted girl anymore, I know I’m not the broken hearted girl and there’s something that I feel I need to say it but up until now I’ve always been afraid that you would never come around and still I want to put this out.
You say that you’ve got the most respect for me but sometimes I feel you’re not deserving of me yet you’re still in my heart you’re the only one for me. I don’t complain because I’m afraid of that you would walk away but now I don’t hate you. Yes, there are times when I hate you because you make me feel unhappy but right now I just want to be happy to say that I will be there at the end of the day.
I don’t want to be without you. I don’t want a broken heart I really don’t want to take another breath without you; I’m scared alone I don’t know what else to do I’m frightened, I don’t want to play that part because I know that I love you but let me just say I don’t want to love you in no other way. I don’t want a broken heart and I don’t want to play the broken hearted girl.
Now that I’m at a place that I thought I’d never be because I’m living in a world that it’s all about you and me because I’m not going to be afraid as my broken heart is free. I’m ready to spread my wings and fly away. I don’t want to be a broken hearted girl anymore.
I find that if we always push our limits to the the limit each we will make ourselves so much better in life than staying in the same life and same spot not challenging ourselves. If we push ourselves to the limit we know that we can and also know that we are in it to win it. I soon realise that my heart was in the right place to carry on now I know that it’s time to finish off what I started; I don’t have have to worry what other people will say because it’s who I am and got to live my own dream my way. We just got to ignore people who don’t want to work harder or want to take it further than where they are now.
I know that I’ve got to work harder and take it further because there’s nothing holding me back we got to do it right now. To make it even better by working together it’s now or never; I’ve just got to believe in myself also you got to believe in yourself as we got to shine our way through because we’ve got to push it to the the limit as we are in it to win it and you know that’s true.
So why not turn it up because that’s the only way we can do it now there’s no time to stop as we are the champions in this world and life. We can be winners everyday that’s how we understand our destiny is right there in our hands as we work harder and further like there’s nothing holding us back.
If we work together we can reach for the skies to be even better it’s either now or never let’s show them how we fly when we push our limits…
I’m wide awake falling through the dark that I’m in; no hands to grab hold especially yours because I’m falling hard with an open heart, how did I read the stars so wrong? And now that it’s clear to me that everything you see isn’t all what you seem to be. I’ve been dreaming for so long.
I wish I knew then. What I know now but wouldn’t blow down but gravity hurts but you made it so sweet until I woke up on the concrete. Falling from cloud nine crashing from the highest tower because I’m letting go tonight as I’m losing sleep as I’m picking up every piece that’s broken; as I’m landing on my feet, as I’m wide awake in an unknown place that needs nothing to complete me.
Yes I am born again from the lions den I don’t have to pretend anymore as it’s too late where the story is now over the end. No I’m wide awake with the thunder rumbling with the castles crumbling around me as I am trying to hold on. I am wide awake where god knows that I’ve tried to see the bright side of things because I’m not blind anymore.
Another summer’s day has come and gone away like in Paris and Rome; I just want to come home because I missing you so much and you know it, yet I’m surrounded by people that I don’t truly know and I feel more alone I just want to come home. I miss you more and more you know me so well. I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you with one a line or two with “I’m fine baby how are you?” I know I would send them but it’s just not enough because you deserve more than that of the words that are cold and flat.
Another aeroplane. Another sunny place. I know I should be lucky but I just want to go home; I’m pleading with my assistants and security to take me home because I got to go home, let me go home I’m too far from where you are I’ve got to go home I’m missing you so much. I’ve had my run baby you know when I’m done I just want to come home to have my hug and have my safety net near me at all times.
The fact that I just feel like I’m living someone else’s life like everything is going right as I stepped outside; I know you couldn’t come along with me because this wasn’t you’re dream but you always believed in me and you decided to come with me a few times. Yet another winter day has come and gone away either in Paris or Rome and I want to come home to be with you because I miss you so much you know.
Let me go home I’ve had my run because I’m done now I’ve finished my tour around the world; I’m done now everything will be alright because I’ll be home tonight, I’m coming back home.
I need time. Love. Joy. I need space. I need me. Well say “hello” to the girl that I am you have to understand by going through my perspective of being overprotected by my parents. Off course you do because you know I need to make mistakes just to learn who I am because being protected by everything; I just can’t breathe anymore, I can’t sleep, I can hear you down on the other end of the line saying “there must be another way because I believe in taking chances” and who am I to say what a girl needs to do by god I need some answers from you.
What am I suppose to do with my life? You will find out don’t worry. How am I supposed to know what’s right? You just got to do it your way. I can’t help the way I feel because my life has been so overprotected. I tell them what I like. What I want. What I don’t want. Every time I do I stand corrected the things that I’ve been told aren’t really what the seem to be; I can’t believe what I hear about the world I soon realise that I’m overprotected, I need time, love, I need space because this is it.
I don’t need nobody to be telling me what I need to do or what I can’t do. It’s all about what I want to do as it’s about my destiny because I can say “no”; nobody will tell me just what I have to do because I want to do what I want to do, I’m so fed up with people telling me who I should be why can’t someone else do it but me.
I’m going to break these chains and live my life no matter how protective people are over me; however I am so done with it all be overprotective of someone else for a change, I want to live my life the way I want it not their way.
All that I want in life is to wake up fine to where someone that I love the most tells me that I’m alright; all I want is a hole in the ground for safety, where you can come and tell me when it’s alright for me to come out of the hole that I made. I know that it’s going to be hard at the best of times to which makes you wonder why you even bothering to try; yet at the most hardest times you begin to wonder why it’s taken you down, but you at the end of the day you have laugh when you cry because these days you have to carry on and I still don’t even know how I’m still even surviving the hard times. Yet I still hit rock bottom every-time I even try to fight it for so long.
I find myself walking around with my little rain cloud singing the Whinnie the Pooh song “I’m just a little black rain cloud” hanging over my head and yet it’s not coming down. Where do I go from here? Some body give me some sort of lightning and you come along hit me with lightning I came back alive.
Tell my friends that I’m coming down so that we can kick it out if I start to hit the ground; it does make you wonder why you even try to help, it really does make you wonder why you try yourself to get back up to the top, I still don’t even know how I survived when I’ve hit rock bottom so many times and even when the hard times seem to not bother going away anytime soon they always find away to make you hit rock bottom.
It’s up too you if you believe this or not. I know the truth and that’s all that matters.
If I’m a bad person then you don’t like me; well I guess that I’ll just make my own way, guess what at least I don’t have to ruin my career or my reputation to destroy someone’s life or love when me and Caspian have been together a lot and we get through a lot. It’s a circle I mean cycle because you never excite me; where is your gravel? Your jury? Because I don’t know what my offence this time? You’re not a judge but if your going to judge me have you looked at yourself?
Don’t want to hear or read about your how you care and in love with Caspian when your only want a title or something; you swear it’s all my fault because you know we’re not the same, the true friends that stuck with me and Caspain we wrote our names in blood but you can’t accept the change because it’s not you anymore. Guess what it’s not all about you. You treat me like a stranger well it’s nice to meet but I can’t wait to see the back of you.
Ignorance is your new best friend because that’s the best that could’ve happened; this is best thing that happened to me without Caspian I wouldn’t of made it, it’s not a war or a rapture. I’m just a person who understands Caspian and makes him happy and you can’t take it. The same tricks that once fooled me they won’t get you anywhere; I’m not that childish person that you are so take that away from your memory and now I’ve got people behind me to help me to fend myself. Pack your things and leave because I don’t want to see you no more.