As like I said in my Monday 30th April 2018 Hustle and Bustle Advice of Blogging this week will be a hit and miss with my blogging. Due to being unwell but thank you for you’re patience.
I’m always going to be you’re hero if I danced when you asked me to dance? I would never run and look back because we came so far together; if I wanted to leave I would off done it a long time ago, I would cry if I saw you crying but I will always save your soul tonight like you save my soul tonight like you always do. Would you tremble if I touched your lips?
Would you laugh? If I told you how much I loved you so much. So please tell me this now would you die for the one you love? Would you stay by me forever and hold me in your arms tonight? I can be your hero baby I can kiss away the pain because I will stand by you for ever you will alway can take my breath away.
Would you swear that you’ll always be mine? Would you lie? Would you run and hide? Am I too deep? Have I lost my mind? But I don’t care because you are here tonight. I just want to hold you and stand by you forever I’m going to kiss away all the pain that we have. I know that I’m you’re hero and you are mine.
Am I in too deep? Have I lost my mind? Well I don’t care because you’re here tonight so I can be you’re hero.
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Sometimes I begin to wonder weather I should study criminology course it looks appealing to me and sometimes I get asked by a friend for advice on something’s like criminology just on the outside purposes of course as they study law. Not like I’ve got law degree or anything like that but sometimes having someone’s opinion on a situation whether the criminal or the person who’s being questioned about something whether it’s their fault or not.
To be fair I’m not a criminology student or working with any sort of law in forcemeat it have a pretty much a good idea of what to look out for. Mostly it comes down to common sense and what was the life behind close doors before they have met and after. Sometimes it takes years to get people to crack but sometimes people still want to control things even if they are still behind bars; as I’ve watched something the other day where someone’s father still tried to control the situation, where a daughter and grandson were looking for long lost mother/grandmother who went missing but there was no body or anything that they can explain if she was murdered or she did actually just disappear and not to be found.
That case was closed once again because the father wasn’t going to be budge or tell where the body had gone. It was similar case with child killers on the moors in Devon I think it was and the killer still had control of the person who was with him at the time until she died. He still didn’t give up the information at all for the family who was still looking for the body and answers in where it is. Then only within few years he died because he was trying to die and refuse to give in to give anymore evidence.
The fact that people who still try to ring round people and control them because they don’t want to leave the earth like they have lost everything that’s around them that they have built up. Cases like these back then life was life not these days you get 5-10 years imprisonment that is life because you know they will be out again in no time for good behaviour bounds.
That won’t bring back the person who was killed or the family who want justice. I could go on and on about these sort things. I won’t because at the end of the day what do I know I’m just a low paying worker and write on the side. Sorry this isn’t a story day as you guys much hoped it would be but will find somethings that might get my stories going once again.
So tired of the injustice of the world that I live in; tired of the schemes that we have in this world it’s kind of disgusting where people don’t understand what it means, it’s kicking me down making me depressed and my anxiety is rocketing high and as I get up again the jack drops to the point of the whole system sucks.
Peaking in the shadows which will always come to the light when you tell me I’m wrong but then again you better prove me that you’re right. You’re slowly selling out of your lies because I only care about what’s mine and my rights. I’m going to get stronger because I won’t give up the fight that you started. There’s so much confusions that it makes me want to scream with all of your basing and bruising which you claim that you’re a victim but yet I know you’re scheme. I’m the one who is a victim because I’m trying to cope with every lie that you make out but you are scrutinising yourself more by shooting yourself in the foot. Somebody please have mercy on me because I just can’t take it anymore.
Stop pressuring me! Just stop pressuring me! It just makes me want to scream so tired of telling the story in your way of how it went because it’s confusing the whole situation if you’re telling the lies. Yet you think it’s okay telling it. The rules keep on changing while your playing the game just to get it your own way. I just can’t take it much longer I think I might just go insane.
Oh my god I just can’t believe what I saw as I turned on the tv this evening; I was so disgusted by all of the injustice that we suffers don’t get. As I watched on the news another child killed themselves due to bullying and hate crime; nobody knew about it or what was going on before it was too late to intervene, it just makes me want to scream because of people don’t understand of what’s going on around them. Even if you scream and cry out for help no one will believe you.
You can say what you want about me and do what you want to me but guess what you cannot stop me from telling the truth of how much of a lair you are about things. I’ve been knocked down so many times in this crazy town; someone even tried to punch me in the face in L.A but there’s nothing in the world that you keep me from doing anything that I want to do, because I’m too proud and I’m too strong to let you ruining my life. At the end of the day you have to life by the code by moving on rather than feeling sorry for yourself because I haven’t got anybody around.
So I held my head high as I knew I’d have to survive through this well that’s because I made it and I don’t hate it that’s just the way it goes. I’ve done it and got through it by standing on my own two feet because I paid my dues of going out with you. You tried to hold me down. Put me down. Yet you can’t stop me. So like I just told you; you cannot will not stop me as I’ve paid my dues.
Now I’m tested everyday people who are trying to mess with me because they’ve got nothing in common because I can handle mine and I thought I better let you know that I’m no punk all because I can’t get down. Tell you the truth I don’t give a damn about who’s around that was fine until now that it took me so long to get myself here; I won’t live in fear anymore of you or you trying my shine agains, because they want to build you up before they tear you down again and it’s a struggle in trying to keep the bubble a float.
Why did you like to everyone? You can’t be trusted you good for nothing type of brother; everything that you claimed to be was a lie because you know that I would be at that place or once went there, and you think everyone will believe your sob stories but actually they come running to me and I put them straight. Why did you lie to everyone you creepy, sneaky little
shit your so messed up it’s now time to leave. So bye, bye.
I told myself that no, no never we don’t go together but hunny I couldn’t take anymore of your presence in mine being at my side all the time; now it’s two weeks later I feel such a traitor to myself because I let you in my front door as my parents told me to let you in, with such high exceptions of you being my boyfriend and you’re the one who’s creeping but yet I keep on saying never again yet here we are. A pure. Pure sweetness as you’re weakness I keep on telling myself never again but here we are.
Now I don’t rush in because of the past of mine that had happened; I bite my lip and let you know what I’m thinking I really like your game that you play, yet I’m better off without you but I just can’t live without you and no I am never going to break away from your charms and laughter. Your always going to my weakness because of your pure sweetness but here we are as I tried to run but I didn’t get very far because I can’t let go of you; I can’t take this no more because I want you in my life so much, you’re the one who manages to get inside my tower that’s under my skin.
I said never again to myself but here we are because your pure sweetness makes me feel so safe and make everything alright. Now you’re my only weakness like I said to myself never again to fall in love with someone again straight away but here we are. I said never again. I said never again. Yet here we are. You in front of me telling me that you’re not going anywhere even if I try to push you away.
You are the love of mine and your special because you leave me breathless every time I see you coming into the room. Even if I can only see you in the room knowing that I’m safe with your love and protection.
I said “never again but here we are”