Everyday Online Diary Entries – (12.7.18) Thursday – The morning after feeling

The morning after when you feel like you got a massive hangover but you actually didn’t drink at all but feeling so ill from something else. Yep that’s me right there I didn’t even drink last night whilst watching football I literally ache all over right now my head hurts, my muscles hurt and everything else it’s like I’ve been so tense like I’ve forgot that I had muscles. 

Today had to be a very long one as well where instead of two runs I had to do three runs for my job morning, lunch time and afternoon. All to the same place which I don’t mind because it kept my mind busy and everything I knew the kids quite well as well. So I tried to have a bit of a nap for half an hour between the lunch time run and the main afternoon run. 

Tried to get some sort of nap when I got back from my last one but never happened because I just couldn’t switch off at all. I just hope that I can get some sort of sleep tonight somehow. Hopefully. If not I know what to do if I get bored or can’t sleep to be honest. 

Sorry that today I haven’t posted much in the way of blog posts due to being so busy and etc. I just hope that I’ll come up with some more post for tomorrow. Not even looking forward to having the house being invaded by people that I don’t even know. I hate it but I know it’s good for my parents at the end of the day but I rather be out of the house to be honest with you when it happens. That’s not going to happen is it. I might just get something from my local supermarket and run away from them all and hide away. I’m pretty much good at that in so many ways. 

I’m having a weekend off from socialising well with a load of people that I don’t know. Haha might know a few but I know that I’m going to kick off at someone because I don’t like them so best way forward is to hide away.

Life On The Open Road – Daily Positive In Life – Nearly cried in the first 5 minutes

Within the first 5 minutes of the semi finals of England and Croatia I nearly burst out crying with joy when a footballer scored in the penalty within first five minutes. When they played a clip of fans in Hyde Park cheered so loud that they chucked their beer up in the air when we scored. 

I gave up in the end watching it due to getting a headache also one of my parents started to shouted at the tv. Yes I know so many times the team had tried to score and be head of the team already but don’t need to shout at the tv. When it comes to the semi finals everyone wants to win the semi finals due to the fact that it’s a lot harder than you think. 

The last time I checked as I’m currently writing this blog is England 1 and Croatia 1 this was at 20:45pm GMT it seems to be a tight game at the moment. Everywhere is quiet no cars on the roads just sitting very still; every so often a car goes by but the first time in years, everyone is glued to the seats, biting their nails, becoming stressed and anxious due to this game. 

I’m actually enjoying the peace and quiet at last for once. Well while it lasts anyways  I still believe in the boys to win it; they are creating their own history forgetting about the past history, bringing it forward to the new decade and century that should of been done all those years ago. 

I’m so proud of Gareth Southgate and all of the boys they have literally made history of the decade even this century; they made a name for themselves playing all their games to the best of their abilities, and most importantly they made England great again and proud of what they have done. They have literally gave us hope, belief, proud and all of the positive words that we can all think off.

I don’t understand why people went straight to twitter and be so negative about it all; they did us proud, they represented us to the point off knowing that we can achieve things. They proved that for all the young players coming up; squished all the bad negativity vibes of the past, we need to stop living in the past and live in the present. 

This is the day (11.7.18) we move forward not backwards. We need a lot of positivity in this country all over the country. Don’t need to bring up the government, Brexit and the pig coming to the country.  We are just proud of what our team have done for us; they have been on the front line for us, so don’t yell at the tv thinking you know best but as soon as your on the pitch or whatever you’re  doing in your job that’s literally on the front line. The pressure is on you and you don’t know nothing. Just be proud of your English team no matter whatever it is. Rant of the negativity over! 

Daily Stories – Daily Relationships – Dealing with everyday relationships when working with people.

I think I’m going to post one more blog for today before tonight’s match England 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 vs Croatia 🇭🇷 I’m hoping that England will win tonight for the Sunday game not Saturday my bad. I thought it was Saturday.

On to the Daily Stories Topics Of Daily Relationships; you’ll find that most people you work with in any job that you may have or find, either customers or parents or work colleagues you may find them really nice and friendly to which you can get on with. You may come across those outrageous customers or parents or work colleagues that you just want to tell them as it is because they are so rude to you and yet you have to be nice to them know matter what. 

Trust me I’ve had my fair share of people in my jobs in life of when I started my first job because I’m not even mentioning the first job that I had. If you actually call it a job to be honest; he first proper job I had was in a store I’m one of those people who like to keep to myself to myself; yet you have idiot workers who like to spread rumours and what not, then you have customers who either nice or horrible or just not paying attention. Your just standing there on tills waiting and yelling saying “next please” at least 500 times until they realise that you’ve been yelling or someone tells them that they are next. It’s like what’s the point of me being here working if you’re going to stare into space knowing that there’s a long cue behind them. 

Second job was okay actually you had you’re fair share of back stabbers when your working with a few people because they are all clicky clicky sort of people. You’re either with them or your not but unless your one like me try and keep the piece with everyone even if I had my own problems at the time. 

Third job was pretty much the same clicky clicky or people make out that they are better than everyone else or you have people who you actually get on well with. I literally by being there for four years I stood my own ground by the end of it due to the fact that I hated people who think they are better than me when they are actually getting paid the same as me. So I told them how it is by the end of it because I’m not picking up more work for everyone else who’s doing the same job as me at the end of the day. 

Then one day I just clicked and handed in my noticed in they were like no way I thought you were joking about it. I was like nope gone and done it had enough now because of it all; a week later I just walked straight into my next job that I’m doing now due to the fact that I knew what I was doing and etc. 

The fourth job I have had my fair few run ins but at the end of the day I do my job and know what I’m doing when things happened. Also it’s fun to go to different places. 

Life On The Open Road Project – Daily Positive In Life – Will the three lions bring it home?

Daily Positive In Life is here today due to the fact that England is playing tonight at 7:00pm GMT at Russia World Cup first time in 28 semi finals; playing against Croatia it will either break us or we win our winning streaks of the World Cup, my positive way of thinking is I want England to win because it would be so nice to actually win something for a change thank anything else. 

You may think why we call all of English teams 3 lions and why they were 3 lions as their badge logo. So let me tell you why the history of the 3 lions on English football shirt; first of all let’s cut the long story short is because they have done ever since the international against Scotland in 1872 because the representatives of the Football Association to which they’re simply spouting of the FA. 

However where the logo actually comes from generated a much longer story than that. The lions hade a history going back to the 12th Century when a standard with the three lions on a red field that carried out a battle to inspire the troops. The first one came from Henry I – Known as the lion of England who had as lion which to his standard of taking power in 1100. Shortly afterwards he married a lady called Adeliza whose father was also had a lion on his shield to which Henry I commemorate the even he added a second lion to his power, pride and courage. In 1154 two lions became three when Henry II married Eleanor of Aquitaine; you might wonder where this third one came from, Eleanor’s family crest also had a lion to which later in that century Richard the Lionheart (1189-1199) had used the three golden lions on a scarlet background as a symbol of the English throne. Ever since then it has appeared on the Royal Arms of every succeeding monarch. 

Since FA was formed in 1863 it seemed to be a natural thing to do is base their logo on this stirring royal shield. Only once since then design has only been changed once in 1949 when the crown that was on top of the lions that was removed to differentiate the badge from that of the English cricket team. This is what makes England great back from the early beginning; Garth Southgate has for filled the hopes of everyone, using his knowledge and what England means to him. 

The team are have the power, pride and courage in what they do in every match because they believe in themselves along with each other. That’s why they work so great together more than other previous English team played in the World Cup. Bring the World Cup home boys! Continue to be positive guys and be proud of yourselves no matter the outcome is. Go all the way if you can boys!

Everyday Online Diary Entries – (10.7.18) Tuesday – Hate waisting the day of blogging!

Today was a bit pointless to be honest with you because I literally slept in between shifts; writing a good blog but then soon realise that I couldn’t get into it as much as I wanted to, so that blog isn’t going to be finished or be posted anytime soon and so I’m just writing this instead. 

I hate when I have an idea for something I start it and then I just weren’t feeling it; normally I’m pretty much good at feeling the whole vibe of a blog post but this one blog post I’m talking about that I never finished, I literally could not get into it what so ever and I think I put myself off it because the story that was going with it was actually taking its time. 

That’s probably why it didn’t get finished in the end. Along with I need to finish of designing the rest of the challenges I think or just leave it at Day 20 not sure see how I feel after this one. I’ll finish the pictures so that I’ve got them if I need to. That’s what she says haha. 

Have to make a huge congratulations to France in making the finals in the World Cup I hope we will join you in the finals after tomorrow nights game. I do hope we win though it be nice actually because it’s something we need more off to make us great not politics saying that they are going to make it great again. It’s the people who live in the country who have actually have talent and achieve things in life that makes Britain great. 

Last Night Everyday Online Diary Entries – Monday 9th July 2018 – Hate not being able to sleep!

Kind of writing this now at night because I can’t sleep no matter how tired I am but yet I’m so anxious that I can barely sleep. I slept so much in between my shifts and meeting for something. I just can’t do any more I’m literally writing this in aid of hoping or falling a sleep soon fingers crossed that I can just fall asleep after finishing it all. 

The past three days things have been so hectic you would think that I wouldn’t be so anxious and drop of to sleep asp right? Wrong! Not with me my mind still continuing to be in that system of na I’m going to keep you up even longer man. After my runs for work I’ve slept to be able to stay awake yet still doesn’t matter how much I sleep I still want to fall asleep no matter where I am; I for one try to stay awake no matter what happens yet it never happens, even if I don’t have a nap I’m still wide awake and my anxiety still kicks in. 

I was so anxious about going to this meeting I really didn’t want to go because it’s a group thing and it was at a church as well. Only a few people knew about my condition so they were pleased that I managed to come but also knew I would be on edge. They knew I would be shattered from the last two days coming to the fun day and the 50th anniversary thing; turning up to this meeting as well so they knew I was trying even when I have had a bad few weekends, so easily for me to see I cannot be sociable for a few weeks now and rest up nice and easy. 

The whole anxiety is annoying to the point of I just want to punch its lights out right now; I know it’s impossible but right now I rather do want to so I can sleep, but at the end of the you really can’t help it and you just have to deal with it as the best you can at the end of the day……

Daily Challenges – Summer Challenge – Day 20 – The hero inside of me

You know I use to hear a voice that said that troubles coming better to stay in bed even tried to run away because I didn’t know my strength because I was shocked; no I couldn’t believe my world rocked it was news to me, until I looked in the mirror today and I looked back and I heard me say I got own it, breathe it, live it like I mean it!

I got the hero in me it’s all I want to be because someone to rely on and looks good on tv. The best part of the day is to save the day that part of the routine so get out of my way this is the job for me! I got to own it, breathe it, live like I mean it. I should be in control and so good to go because it’s time you know what to figure out. 

I got a hero inside of me because it’s all I want to be to have someone to rely on to which looks good on tv. To be able to save the day as it’s like a part of my routine but it’s out of my way; yeah you can say this is a job for me because I have a hero inside of me and that’s all I want to be, someone that everyone can rely on and looks good on tv!

Daily Challenges – Summer Challenges – Day 19 – Am I immortal?

Definition of Immortal – Living forever; never dying or decaying “our mortal bodies are inhabited by immortal souls”

I’m so tired of being here that I’m suppressed by all of my childish fears that you leave me; but in my heart I wish that you would just leave me because I don’t know what to do with your presence as it’s still lingers here, and it won’t leave me alone. I need these wounds to heal but these wounds won’t seem to heal because the pain is just too real. There’s just too much that the time that I have cannot be erased in time. 

As I watched you cry I would always wipe away all of your fears; even when you would scream you will find me fighting away all of your fears, like I have all these years whilst holding your hand through all of these years but you will still have all of me even in your heart. 

When I needed you the most you would use to captivate me by your resonating light which I am bound to life that you left behind; all I can see is your face use to haunts all my bad dreams away, and your face chased away all the sanity in me and all of the thoughts that would make me feel so anxious. 

I’ve tried so hard to tell myself that you’re gone but you’re still with me when I’m all alone all along; I know sometimes it feels that you are so distant but you’re not because in my mind the depression and anxiety, has put itself between us once again and I know that it’s stopping me feel your mother next to me but I know she’s fighting it. 

You will always still have all of me no matter what. 

Star Light Categories- Hustle and Bustle Advice of Blogging – Decluttering my blog website

Don’t panic! Don’t panic! I’m not getting rid of my blog; I’m just decluttering my blog because some of the things that I have on here are either useless and not getting anywhere or I’m starting to have a theme running through. I start to think when I try to find some of the categories or tags I always hit the wrong one or can’t find what I’m looking for. That’s when you rewrite it again and have like three or four of the same thing and your like oh my god. 

I try not declutter too much but if it’s getting a bit too much or things I’ve got new ones coming through I prefer to clear out a few things to make a new fresh set of things to make the house hold name of themselves as they deserve to be there. Along with that it’s good to grow your blog and refresh it time to time because it brings in the positivity of the blog website and yourself esteem too. It’s all about positive and what makes you feel good about yourself.

Don’t worry you can still read my old blogs you might find them in my Everyday Post Categories you will hardly miss them because they aren’t labelled Everyday Post like I have been doing recently. It’s like giving yourself a tlc but giving it to your blog don’t ask me what tlc stands for I can’t remember what it means. I think it’s “Attention Loving Care” not sure how that works but it does and always has done. I’m not the English Language person bad enough I can’t even speak my own language without getting tired and can’t be bothered to concentrate for much longer. 

That’s because I have a language difficulty so it’s one of those things I live with but joke about with it. For example when someone asks me do you speak any other languages than your own. I reply nope didn’t spend much time in French classes to learn it but bad enough I can’t even speak my own language let alone learn a new one. 

Star Light Categories – Sunday Special – Grumpy Sunday

Literally in the worst grump you can ever ask for especially for a Sunday! I literally on mineral sleep because I can’t sleep at night due to the heat and so many on things going on my head as well. It’s just like you just want to scream. Then you’ll find the gobby house at the end of the next road literally screaming and shouting; next minute you get the local supermarket deliveries “yes on a Sunday!” Car alarms going off in the car park, next would be the next door neighbor drilling, sawing, building and hammering. 

Wait for it I haven’t quite finished there. Just having a breather. Ready? Let’s go. A parent still coughing and clearing their throat taking ages for to spit it out what they are trying to say. If I wanted that sort of talk I rather be back at work. Where it’s more peaceful and I know what I’m doing. Another parent who just non stop talking about either unnecessary things or things that will trigger someone else off and things come up that I’m involved with had the whole thing setting me off even more because I’m already irritated, grumpy and anxious about these things. 

I have this feeling that me and my grandparent who has dementia are on the same wave length today because they are in a grump to and I’m looking after them for a while. So it’s going to be interesting and also not what I really need right now because I’m in a grump but then again they like me and I’m pretty much get them out of a grump quite easily. Get people out grumps and etc is my special trait I think I do it on my job as well get the kids out of bad mood or something just because I weigh it out and make jokes etc. 

I’m that sort of person who just seems to go what have you done? Or what haven’t you done. They seem to realise that they answer their own problems or questions before I say anything; to which comes out on top or you have some people who takes longer, then incomes the battle bomb detonator from me and then they realise that it was staring right at them. To where they turn around and say to me “I love it when you just go straight in for the kill.” “People need it monjority of the time because they need a wake up call and wether it makes them cry or realise that they cry because it’s hit them and made them realise that I’m right and it hit home.” 

After shifting my grandparent grumpiness and they were full of life again after I got them to eat their lunch; not even too sure why I get them to do things and no one else can, it’s probably me being a good grandchild and get them to do things. Plus I use the same tactic as I use on special needs children with my grandparent. The way I work with them and how I do things is the same as my grandparent. Maybe I’m just to lay back to do care about things or I’m just funny. Until something isn’t right then everyone knows they’ve got on the wrong side of me when I go in for the kill where I say as it is. 

People that I went to church with obviously I don’t go anymore but I took my grandparent to it as the rest of the family where there and their partner were there. It took me awhile to set in but then once I got over the grumpiness and what not. The whole sassy funny confident person I knew within myself was back making everyone laugh. I hate when it takes all day to shift or doesn’t shift at all.