Friday Online Diary Entries: “Most Haunted Cries” – Story Based

The cries, the moans, ghostly aspirations that happen at Beaumont Hall situated in the countryside; yet the village that’s close by sees lights on still, cries, fire and many more strange things after the volunteers of the hall have gone home. Yet no one can understand why or how it happens by the time local services and the volunteers and a few locals got there to help the house out. Nothing was there no fire, no burglaries not even a single soul.

Yet a distance voice of a young girls voice well what sounded like a little girl telling the story but everyone sees this dramatic scene before they turned away witnessing something most terrifying thing that no one could describe that night. The screams that came from the house made them run into the house; this is the story of how a young women lost her love one or so it seems but yet was she pushed or did she fall down the stairs herself.

“Don’t cry for me if you truly loved me you would of been here with me than me dying on the cold stone floor; you want me come find me just make up your mind, and follow the way I died. I should let you fall and lose it all because maybe you could remember yourself; you can’t keep believing that you can have two people at the same time because at the end of the day we’re only deceiving ourselves, and I’m sick of all the lies by the way you’re too late.

You couldn’t take the blame or the sick shame off my death in your life it must be exhausting to lose your own game. The selfishly hatred you had for me no wonder you felt so jaded of feeling trapped you can’t play the victim this time because you’re too late; so don’t cry to me if you loved me you would if been here with me, you want me come find me but just make up your mind.

You never call me when you’re sober only because you want it’s over; how could I have burned paradise? How could I when you were never mine? Get over yourself don’t cry for me if you really truly love me you would of been here with me; don’t lie to me just get your things, I’ve made up you’re mind for you and now it’s time for me to say goodbye…”

Thursday Online Diary Entries: “You know me” Story Based Extra

If any man can pick what he fancied he should just live and breed in captivity because it’s just pointless; you love what you’re doing what you like, when you like, how it makes you happy because only you yourself know yourself. What a waste of all this peace when baby steps and two more sleeps until I get the sorry from you because I get hysterical, historical of love like it’s just a chemical thing between us. Give me something to stop me from having a complete melt down from all of the pain only you know me.

Since you went away my heart breaks everyday because you don’t know as you’re not there to see me cry everyday; you simply found the words to make a lot of feelings fade away or model our feelings, only you know me when I need you the most. I’m doing fine most of the time as the sun shines what are you thinking? Yet at state of my mind can go worst than it can go with me drinking thunderbird wine but I’m drinking because you brought back memories that I told you about.

Yet only you know me when I get into the worst state imaginable but sorry doesn’t cut it out anymore as it’s become more comical than anything that I’ve been through. It’s my life that your toying with; along with my happiness, only wish you knew how horrible this feeling is and them you would know how truly I’m feeling. Only you know me and how to calm me down every single day.

Online Diary Entries: “Only Teardrops” – Story Based

I look across the dessert from my window of the place the sky looks red tonight; like we are on the edge tonight due to our fight I couldn’t see no shooting star this time to guide us, yet we see eye to eye at the best of times but I don’t understand why we tear each other apart? Please tell me why we make it so hard? Look at us now in our separate rooms we’ve only got ourselves to blame it’s such a shame.
How many times can we win and loose? How many times can we break the rules? That’s between us but only teardrops that will fall; tell me how many times do we have to fight? And how many times till we get it right between us? Until the only thing is the tear drops. Please come and face me now take me into your arms let me cry and leave the past behind us.
Eye for an eye for lots of questions in my head that I don’t understand; why do we tear each other apart? Please tell me why do we make it so hard? Look at us now we got ourselves to blame it’s such a shame; as I’m crying letting my tear drops roll down my face ruining what’s left of my make up in my face, crying myself to sleep because I don’t understand how many times we have to fight? And how many times til we get it right? Between us but only tear drops.
Tell me now what’s gone between us? What has become between us? Tell me please tell me what’s gone between us? Has something become between us? Yet you don’t tell me anything but blame for it all yet your also to blame. Only teardrops that fall.

Everyday Post: “What about now? What about today?” – Story Based

Looking around what use to be the most dangerous, hatful and horrendous place to be in at the time of our history. Shadows that filled an empty heart as their love was fading to which all the things that they use to know but we aren’t saying; can we see beyond the scars of their past in the fabric of these walls, and make it to the dawn? By setting their souls free now from all the pain and suffering that they once endured.
Changing the colours of the sky to open up the ways to heaven for you to go and make yourself feel more alive. In so many ways your friends and love ones wanted you to be free where all things that never died inside them. You know how to make it through the night because love will find you; what about now? What about today? To fly away from here and be free from all the pain and suffering and what if you’re making me all that I wasn’t meant to be? I hear you call through the empty buildings. What if our love never went away? What if it’s lost behind the words that we could never find? Please go to heaven before it’s too late, what about now?
The sun is breaking in your eyes at each start of a new day; this broken heart can still survive with a touch of my grace, the shadows are now started to fade into the light as I am by your side where love will find you and what about now? What about today? Now that we’re here. We’ve come this far just hold on; there’s nothing to fear for I am right beside you, and for all my life now I am your saviour.
What about today? What about now? Please go before it’s too late. What about now?

Thursdays Online Diary Entries: “Memory” – Story Based

As the midnight draws in there’s no sound from the pavement; just laying there very still and quiet from the upheaval of people walking across it all day long, has the money lost her memory? She’s just smiling all alone no one to greet or say hello too. In the lamps light that shown on parts of the pavement there were leaves collecting at my feet as the winds started to moan like it hasn’t got anyone to push over.
Memory of the moonlight is all alone; I find myself smiling a lot a the good old days, I was so beautiful back then and I remember the time that I knew what happiness was as I let the memory live again. Every streetlamp seems to beat as a fatalistic warning like someone is muttering in the gutters or the street lamps and soon I will be morning.
As the daylight draws near to 6am I know I must wait for the sunrise to come knowing that I must think of a new life; I mustn’t given into it even though I must try but yet as dawn hits the countryside fields, tonight will be just a memory and a new day will begin. The burnt out ends of the smoky days will go stale as the cold fresh air smell starts to creep up on you in the morning; as the street lamps dies you know that another night is now over, replacing it with another day with a new dawn that’s breaking.
Touch me! Is also another sign of someone that’s easy to leave me especially with all of the memories of the days in the sun; if you touch me now with the gentle touch letting me come to you without being frightened; you will know what my happiness is, listen and look I have to go now and hide as a new day has begun and I don’t want people to feel sorry for me even though I want to be happy once more.

Wednesday Evening Post: Amazement of how much I love you guys

I just want to say thank you to everybody so far reading my blogs; I am internal grateful for continuing to come back each day, reading my stories and other blogs that are surrounding them. I’m so glad that you guys like them very muchly not sure if that’s a word but it is now haha.

The fact that you guys are giving me so much positivity of being able to continue to write; I know that 20-30 views along with 10-20 visitors isn’t a big deal to anyone but to me, I am glad that I’ve got the regular people who like to come back and read them time and time again. I’m having awesome time writing these sort of things as if I know what I meant to be writing; that’s what she said, but at the end of the day you guys are the ones that are making it happen and by that you’re getting good blogs out of it all.

I wonder if you remember earlier this week on Monday 5th January 2018 that I had launched a payment/donation page along side my Hustle and Bustle Advice of Blogging this week about it. If you can donate anything it would be grand if you are under the age of 16 please ask your parents permission to help donate the two charities that are listed in the page in the top box. I have also attached the button down below also. You’re help, kindness, generosity and thoughtful many will help others in a long run. Let’s turn this world into a positive one for who we are.

Everyday Post: “Sorry but it’s gone” – Story Based

As I sit in the window of my great aunts farm cottage in the middle of the country side in Wales; I think about the times I tried to make you hear me like what have I got to do to make you love me? What you got to do to make you care?, as the storm hits the countryside I watch the rain, the lightning and thunder fall. It got me thinking what do I do when lightning strikes me like it did before? Would I wake up to find that you’re not there at my bed side with a worried look on your face.

Yet I run out in the rain into the fields leaving the front door wide open; leaving my great aunt and my aunt at the front door with my uncle chasing after me, I screamed into the sky with the words “what do I do to make you want me? What have I got to do to be heard?” I collapse onto the muddy field my uncle grabbed hold of me as I fell to the floor making him fall as well. I cried in his arms saying “what do I say when it’s all over and sorry seems to be the hardest word”.

The feeling the weight off my feet where in the air; yet I was so emotional that I couldn’t stand or anything, I knew my uncle was carrying me back to the cottage and my aunt and great aunt ran round the house and running the bath and etc. Is sad, so sad, so sad, sad situation where there was nothing to do to bring him back to life. This was getting more and more absurd. Why can’t we talk it over? Oh it seems to me that sorry seems to be the hardest word.

What I got to do? What I got to do? Without having to listen or hear people saying “sorry” because sorry seems to be the hardest word now. Especially coming from the inside of me saying “sorry”. My great aunt stayed in my room as she watch over me in her green chair like she use to when I was in her care; she had her blankets wrapped around her to keep her warm, she heard your voice echoing “yes sorry seems to be the hardest word”

Everyday Post: I don’t understand minds sometimes

Okay everyone got their coffee, tea or what ever they drink within reason because this is a chance to help me understand people’s brains and relationships. Also my inside take it of it and my own experiences. Weather you believe this or not or agree or disagree it’s your own opinion think they’re both the same meaning haha come on brain wake up.

I find myself in situations where friends ask my advice and ask me to listen to their problems and what not in the relationship. I tell them how it is, keep on telling them what I think to the point of having ago either at the them or who they are seeing mostly likely the person they are seeing at the time. Yes your friend is blind stupid because they have been trapped under their spell for so long; along with the same excuse “I know he doesn’t mean it” or “I still love him” “I’m going to fight for you I love you” yet give them a few weeks or days they’ve gone back to their old habits. I genuinely hate true love or first love because it never seems to come out right.

Especially how you think Disney Princess get their true love straight away but in the real world your like yes they are the one; actually they aren’t but it stings and hurts that you think you arranged your future together, then when you get over it you actually think ‘what an idiot I am so much better than him and find someone better than him. Who will treat me with respect and love me for who I am’

Yet you know that play certain songs that makes you feel great and special about yourself. I have a fair few that gets me through those pain barriers then it helps me to realise that I’m so much better than them. I’m going to share a few songs with you that I like to listen to.

– Mr Hughes – Demi Lovato

– Sorry not sorry – Demi Lovato

– Who says – Selena Gomez

– Shine – Take That

– You need me, I don’t need you – Ed Sheeran

– I said never again but here we are – Rachel Stevens

– Heart Attack – Demi Lovato

That’s a few of my favourite bonce back songs to help me get through the times when my heart is broken or when I’m feeling down. What is your go to songs when to get you feeling down or your heart gets broken?

Teen lifestyle: “Backstabber” – Story Based

Life as a teen is very confusing when you think you could trust someone who thought they were you’re close friend until one day you find out that they are actually backstabbers. Your bored, stoned, sitting in your basement all alone because your little conversations got around; yet look here because guess what we all found out, looked what we found, a lier a cheat and most importantly a backstabber.

You’ve got a set of loose lips on you twisting all of the stories that aren’t true; all because you’re jealous of what I’ve got and what other people have but honestly I know what you’re all about, so this is what you’re all what your talking about and girl you’re such a backstabber. You’re such a shit talker and everybody knows it. You have a big mouth more than everyone that I’ve ever known.

Backstabbers all the talk but can’t deal with it if it’s happening to them; I’m sick and tired of hearing about my life from people who think they know me better because of your lies, they are so wrapped up so tight about it maybe you should shut your mouth and yet you never shut your mouth.

Honestly I think it’s kinda funny that you wasting your breath talking about me; it got me thinking and feeling that its kinda special because this is what your all about, everybody knows that you’re a shit talker after they finding out that its all not true and now they’ve turned against you because your a backstabber.

Katie to the left there just there to ripping off my style damn Jeanie why did you go around telling everyone about my sex life? All I ever did was drive you broke ass around pick you up and take you out when your car broke down. Girls you’re such a backstabber taking all the truth but twisting and telling everyone; showing your true colours of how manipulative you are as your running you’re mouth more than everyone that I have known, and everybody knows that you look like a raven lunatic. Yeah everybody knows backstabber.

Everyday Post: “Said it all” – Story Based

As you watched me walk away that’s when the tears fall away from my eyes you knew that you hurt me bad; there was no more conversation left, there was nothing left to break that wasn’t already not broken and you’re just staring into space with every inch of silence. You’ve been standing here for days and days waiting for my turn; yet I said it all there was nothing else to say anymore nothing that I say that matters, haven’t we heard enough? Noting that I have said at all doesn’t matter anymore; nothing to say that matters to you anymore because I let my guard down, and I let you in like I trusted you with everything yet you walked out of my life.

In the sudden light of the day. The weight of expectation of what I was hoping for the hurt had started to begin to fade; as you started to find a new direction but the fact that you haven’t talked to me for days and days, as I’ve said it all but there was nothing else to say that matters. All of the miles of words that we’ve spoken and all of the lines that got away because we didn’t take the time to say them all?

Here I am once again standing in front of you screaming, crying and wanting your attention but all of the miles of words we’ve spoken about. Yet all the months that that went away along with all the lines that got away because we didn’t have time to say them all? Doesn’t matter anymore as we said it all once again there’s nothing to say at all. Nothing to say that matters. Haven’t we heard enough? Haven’t we said it all?