Daily Challenges – Summer Challenge – Day 20 – The hero inside of me

You know I use to hear a voice that said that troubles coming better to stay in bed even tried to run away because I didn’t know my strength because I was shocked; no I couldn’t believe my world rocked it was news to me, until I looked in the mirror today and I looked back and I heard me say I got own it, breathe it, live it like I mean it!

I got the hero in me it’s all I want to be because someone to rely on and looks good on tv. The best part of the day is to save the day that part of the routine so get out of my way this is the job for me! I got to own it, breathe it, live like I mean it. I should be in control and so good to go because it’s time you know what to figure out. 

I got a hero inside of me because it’s all I want to be to have someone to rely on to which looks good on tv. To be able to save the day as it’s like a part of my routine but it’s out of my way; yeah you can say this is a job for me because I have a hero inside of me and that’s all I want to be, someone that everyone can rely on and looks good on tv!

Daily Challenges – Summer Challenges – Day 19 – Am I immortal?

Definition of Immortal – Living forever; never dying or decaying “our mortal bodies are inhabited by immortal souls”

I’m so tired of being here that I’m suppressed by all of my childish fears that you leave me; but in my heart I wish that you would just leave me because I don’t know what to do with your presence as it’s still lingers here, and it won’t leave me alone. I need these wounds to heal but these wounds won’t seem to heal because the pain is just too real. There’s just too much that the time that I have cannot be erased in time. 

As I watched you cry I would always wipe away all of your fears; even when you would scream you will find me fighting away all of your fears, like I have all these years whilst holding your hand through all of these years but you will still have all of me even in your heart. 

When I needed you the most you would use to captivate me by your resonating light which I am bound to life that you left behind; all I can see is your face use to haunts all my bad dreams away, and your face chased away all the sanity in me and all of the thoughts that would make me feel so anxious. 

I’ve tried so hard to tell myself that you’re gone but you’re still with me when I’m all alone all along; I know sometimes it feels that you are so distant but you’re not because in my mind the depression and anxiety, has put itself between us once again and I know that it’s stopping me feel your mother next to me but I know she’s fighting it. 

You will always still have all of me no matter what. 

Star Light Categories- Hustle and Bustle Advice of Blogging – Decluttering my blog website

Don’t panic! Don’t panic! I’m not getting rid of my blog; I’m just decluttering my blog because some of the things that I have on here are either useless and not getting anywhere or I’m starting to have a theme running through. I start to think when I try to find some of the categories or tags I always hit the wrong one or can’t find what I’m looking for. That’s when you rewrite it again and have like three or four of the same thing and your like oh my god. 

I try not declutter too much but if it’s getting a bit too much or things I’ve got new ones coming through I prefer to clear out a few things to make a new fresh set of things to make the house hold name of themselves as they deserve to be there. Along with that it’s good to grow your blog and refresh it time to time because it brings in the positivity of the blog website and yourself esteem too. It’s all about positive and what makes you feel good about yourself.

Don’t worry you can still read my old blogs you might find them in my Everyday Post Categories you will hardly miss them because they aren’t labelled Everyday Post like I have been doing recently. It’s like giving yourself a tlc but giving it to your blog don’t ask me what tlc stands for I can’t remember what it means. I think it’s “Attention Loving Care” not sure how that works but it does and always has done. I’m not the English Language person bad enough I can’t even speak my own language without getting tired and can’t be bothered to concentrate for much longer. 

That’s because I have a language difficulty so it’s one of those things I live with but joke about with it. For example when someone asks me do you speak any other languages than your own. I reply nope didn’t spend much time in French classes to learn it but bad enough I can’t even speak my own language let alone learn a new one. 

Star Light Categories – Sunday Special – Grumpy Sunday

Literally in the worst grump you can ever ask for especially for a Sunday! I literally on mineral sleep because I can’t sleep at night due to the heat and so many on things going on my head as well. It’s just like you just want to scream. Then you’ll find the gobby house at the end of the next road literally screaming and shouting; next minute you get the local supermarket deliveries “yes on a Sunday!” Car alarms going off in the car park, next would be the next door neighbor drilling, sawing, building and hammering. 

Wait for it I haven’t quite finished there. Just having a breather. Ready? Let’s go. A parent still coughing and clearing their throat taking ages for to spit it out what they are trying to say. If I wanted that sort of talk I rather be back at work. Where it’s more peaceful and I know what I’m doing. Another parent who just non stop talking about either unnecessary things or things that will trigger someone else off and things come up that I’m involved with had the whole thing setting me off even more because I’m already irritated, grumpy and anxious about these things. 

I have this feeling that me and my grandparent who has dementia are on the same wave length today because they are in a grump to and I’m looking after them for a while. So it’s going to be interesting and also not what I really need right now because I’m in a grump but then again they like me and I’m pretty much get them out of a grump quite easily. Get people out grumps and etc is my special trait I think I do it on my job as well get the kids out of bad mood or something just because I weigh it out and make jokes etc. 

I’m that sort of person who just seems to go what have you done? Or what haven’t you done. They seem to realise that they answer their own problems or questions before I say anything; to which comes out on top or you have some people who takes longer, then incomes the battle bomb detonator from me and then they realise that it was staring right at them. To where they turn around and say to me “I love it when you just go straight in for the kill.” “People need it monjority of the time because they need a wake up call and wether it makes them cry or realise that they cry because it’s hit them and made them realise that I’m right and it hit home.” 

After shifting my grandparent grumpiness and they were full of life again after I got them to eat their lunch; not even too sure why I get them to do things and no one else can, it’s probably me being a good grandchild and get them to do things. Plus I use the same tactic as I use on special needs children with my grandparent. The way I work with them and how I do things is the same as my grandparent. Maybe I’m just to lay back to do care about things or I’m just funny. Until something isn’t right then everyone knows they’ve got on the wrong side of me when I go in for the kill where I say as it is. 

People that I went to church with obviously I don’t go anymore but I took my grandparent to it as the rest of the family where there and their partner were there. It took me awhile to set in but then once I got over the grumpiness and what not. The whole sassy funny confident person I knew within myself was back making everyone laugh. I hate when it takes all day to shift or doesn’t shift at all. 

Life On The Open Road Project – Daily Positives In Life – (8.7.18) Sunday – Young English football team heading to the semi – finals in Russia World Cup

Gareth Southgate was named to be the main coach; he has some of the most of the country’s brightest youngsters have been called up to represent their home country. Southgate said “I believe this is a squad which we can be excited about.” Yes they are young group it was time have something positive, give them a hope and able to achieve something. 

Throughout the games that they have played since World Cup had started they had loads of backlash, pressure and everything from the media, the country and most importantly the previous teams that played in the World Cup. However they didn’t let that bother them one bit they continually without a doubt kept their heads down worked together and most importantly support each other no matter how touch certain games were at the time. 

Yet they had reached the semi finals due to their positive manager, coaches and within themselves working together. Yes they are young and yes they have still got a long way to go but no matter how much they’ve proved themselves to the whole country in my opinion they shouldn’t have to because it’s not even their fault to begin and they weren’t even born at the time of the last time we got to the semi finals. Literally 28 years ago was the last time we got to there and I was born a year later. So it is pretty much a long time since we got to that stage and I think we won it in 1964 I think it was I could be wrong. 

No matter what challenges they had or have to face then or now they know that they can always get a positive response at the end of each game. The consistency of turning each negative into a positive and most importantly they are all building up their profiles together, self esteem and confidence everytime they play. 

Daily Challenges – Summer Challenges – Day 18 What do you want from me? So I can understand.

Hey slow it down tell me what you want from me? So I can understand yes I am afraid but I need you to tell me what you want from me? I know you have a lot going on and quite anxious but I know there might have been a time that I would give myself away; there was once upon a time that I didn’t give a damn about myself here we are, I need to know what you want from me? Especially this time around because you know I want you.

Just don’t give up because I’m just literally working it out please don’t give in; I know I won’t let you down as it’s messed me up, I need a second to breathe when you just keep coming around and I just want to understand something. Can you please tell me what do you want from me? 

You can see plainly that everything that you touch is so beautiful and there’s nothing wrong with you; it’s me I’m just a freak but thanks for loving me because you’re doing it perfectly, there might have been a time when I would let you slip away I wouldn’t even try but I think you could of saved my life. 

Just don’t give up on me because I won’t let you down just don’t give up I’m working it out please don’t give in; I won’t let you down it will mess me up and my anxiety is making it hard to breathe without you, just give me a second to breathe I’m just coming around hey don’t cry what do you want from me.

Everyday Online Diary Entries – (7.7.18) Saturday – You’re not sure what your grandparent is on?

Literally on a roll with these blogs today (7.7.18) just rolling off my thumbs as I’m typing away giving you as much content as I can today. Today I’ve over slept due to the fact that I didn’t get to sleep until 2:45am in the morning and what not. Today has to be a funny one I really mean it let me explain. 

I spent an hour at a fun day then spent a few hours with an grandparent who has dementia; not sure what they are on but they are on something in fits of laugher not even sure what I do to people, I do it with the children I work with just send them into hysterics must be me or something. 

Another fun fact is that England are in the semifinals in the World Cup football is coming home; it’s coming home its coming, football is coming home. Come on  Croatia you can win this football match. To be fair I think the reason why we haven’t played Russia yet and hope not is because what’s happening at the moment in England. To be honest I hope Russia go out to be honest because I think they cheat in their games. 

Today of all days has turned out to be a positive day to be honest out in the sunshine, having a laugh with a grandparent who has dementia and just being happy and free of things today. What have you guys been up too today? Who’s proud of the youngest England team winning all of their games except one? 

Last Night Everyday Online Diary Entries: (6.7.18) Friday – Relaxed Evening with my siblings

Just when your parents give you half an hour warning that they are going to leave for this church/community thing one disappeared somewhere no idea where and one is a sleep. Why not be cheeky and write up another blog for you all with what I got up to last night but with a new category called “Last Night Everyday Online Diary Entries” 

Why not to be honest I thought it sounded quite cool last night when I was about to start it but gave up because I just wanted to sleep and didn’t know how to begin writing it until now. So this is what I got up too last night. It wasn’t long after I got home maybe an hour or so later I don’t know one of my siblings and their other finally got to us in which they are staying a few nights. We don’t get to see them that much as they live quite far away in the midlands. 

Then about 20:00pm GMT England time one of my other siblings arrived it was like the four squad plus one had arrived together like the good times. It was actually quite nice that it was just the four of us once again like the good times; we all knew each other’s little weird habits, jokes inside out, and etc. All of the fun things we use to do when one of my siblings were little and now older. 

We all sat outside with our parents until dark arrived up until late at night I went to bed as I beginning to get tired but in the end I was still awake until 2:45am I couldn’t get to sleep that much after I said I was going to bed then I fell asleep at 2:45am. 

Daily Stories – Daily Reminders Of The Losses – You walked with me footprints in the sand

13 years ago was on 7th July 2005 was the day England had become a new target nobody knew what to do at the time as it was the first time it happened. Since then we became strong; worked together and helped each other out by risking our lives knowing that it can happen at any time now. You probably thinking why I am writing this; 13 years ago I was just 14 years old at the time when the first terror attack happened, last year I was just 26 years old when the 3 more happened in a space of few months of each other. Tube stations and a bus was a target back then in 2005 no one could ever forgive what happened then; they still can’t now alone with the others that they’ve hit last year, and yet this time they failed because we are strong and there’s nothing the terrorists can do about it now. I’m going to write a story through an eye of a victim. 

I remembered the day you walked with me through the tunnel like footprints in the sand; holding my hand whilst I was being carried to safety because I had lost my legs, I was just 14 years old at the time and by the time we got to the platform I could see the light. By the time we reached to the top of the underground you and my other saviour came along because I had no one else; all my friends had died at the scene, we were just going to school and I just wanted my mum I was so scared and frightened. 

You helped me to understand where I’m going; no matter what you two had witnessed you still had strength to carry on to help me, you walked with me into the hospital when I was all alone and with so much unknown along the way. I heard you say “I promise you I will always be there when your heart filled with sorrow and despair I will carry you when you need a friend. You’ll find my footprints in the sand” 

I could see my life flash across the sky so many times that I have been afraid and this time I was afraid that I might not make it through the operation. When I woke up I see you both laying either side of me with your heads down next to my hands clutching them; just when I thought I literally lost my way of what just happened to me, my parents were nowhere to be seen just the two strangers who brought me here. 

The man stirred after he felt the squeeze of mine he woke and tapped the lady on the shoulder to wake her up; they both looked at me with tears down my cheeks, I knew my parents had died with the gut instinct but how and the lady had asked “what number bus do they take for work?” All I remember was that they were going on the bus that day for a change and told them what number. 

I cried uncontrollably the pain from my legs and my wounds didn’t matter to me anymore; I lost my best friends and my parents all on the same day, I was officially an orphan and no one was there to help me get through this. Over the due course of the weeks I had learnt the lady and the man were actually a couple named Matty and Izzy Johnson; they took it in turns to seek medical advice and seeking help for PSTD, everyone were surprised how much they coped of what happened to them but also taking on a 14 year old teen. I was their strength to carry on for them they gave me strength to carry on.

They told me one day if it was okay with me to let them adopt me as they couldn’t find anyone that was a living relative. I said “yes” because they had been there for me ever since that day happened; I remembered the day when Izzy had once said to me “I promise you I’m always there when your heart is filled with sorrow and despair. I’ll carry you when you need a friend” 

Every since the day came or near the time leading it up to it I use to have nightmares about it like it was continually happening; I would be screaming I would find Matt and Izzy come running down the stairs, Matt wrapping his arms around me after grabbing me before I fell to the floor and I knew that he would always be there to catch my fall. 

The words that they always say to me from day one “I promise you that I’m always there even when you’re heart is filled with sadness and despair I’ll carry you when you need a friend because you will find my footprints in the sand” it became our family motto to which I had written on my wall when I moved in. Especially designed by amazing people so that I can get around the house myself and helps Matty and Izzy. They’ve saved my life and I’ve saved theirs that day. Yet I can’t forgive the people who did this. 

Please remember the victims who were injured and still fighting for their lives until now and remember the victims who lost their lives that day. 

Daily Challenges – Summer Challenge – Day 17 England football team are champions my friend

I’ve paid my dues time after time I’ve done my sentence but committed no crime because I wasn’t old enough to play as I was just a boy when we lost the World Cup  so many times. I made bad mistakes I can tell you I made a few but I’ve had my fair share of sand kicked in my face because I know we got a good team. I can tell you right now we’ve come through because we are the champions my friends.

We are the champions my friends because we will keep on fighting until the end because we are the champions of each game we play; we literally have no time for losers because we are the champions of the world. I’ve taken my bow and my curtain calls. You brought me fame and fortune with everything that goes with it but I would like to thank you all for believing in me and my team. It’s been no bed of roses nor pleasure cruising; I like a challenge before the whole human race because I know we ain’t going to lose, and do you know why?

We are the champions my friends and we will keep on fighting until the end because we are the champions no time for losers to start hitting out when they know that we are the champions of the world.