Two worst things to have mixed together

Ever felt so drained and had to change your top at least twice because you sweat straight through your first top at the being at the day. Yep that’s me all over. Based on today’s outcome (Thursday 24th August 2017)

Today of all days I had the worst combo ever. The fact that I was trying to not think about going to the hospital appointment today as I hate hospitals and doctors; no matter how much I go to the doctors in the first place still doesn’t help with my anxiety, I did have one of my parents there with me but I know that they were just trying to help and everything but talking for me when I’m on edge really doesn’t help me.

Never felt dreadful from just waiting for the appointment to hurry up and finish; when it hadn’t even begun or for me to be in the room, the reason I had to go was for my hearing test. Yet today it was good but then nothing is moving i.e. My drums due to fluids behind my ears. So I’ve got to be referred to another part of the hospital in the next few weeks or so to find out what else is wrong. So it’s going to be along process and not allowed to do anything to my ears like cleaning them out and etc.

During the appointment I had to look at the person who was talking to me head on; due to the fact that I can’t sit side ways like a normal patient would have to do, I physically have to sit on dead on straight to be able to look at them and lip read. I can tell you know that is exhausting beyond believe; the amount of concentration that went on I could feel my eyes, and my body just ready to fall asleep right there and then.

As soon as I’ve got home I just practically slept the whole time along with waking myself up with the whole talking in my sleep. Which isn’t good. Now I’m all hot and sweaty to which I don’t even understand why I’m like it but then again it could of been the dream that I had. It was an odd one. I think my mind is just digesting the whole what’s been going on in the past couple of weeks. Not the first Dream I had within the 24 hours.

Polesden Lacy

Superb Edwardian Interiors that draws, attracts more and more visitors.

The highlights of the heritage has a superb Edwardian Interiors throughout the fabulous building. Polesden Lacy has a regency house that’s been transformed into a superb Edwardian mansion; this was created by brewery heiress Mrs Ronald Greville, along with a glittering array of formal rooms were decorated with fabulous portraits including works by Raeburn and Reynolds.

Back in 1906 Margaret Greville, is one of the foremost society hostesses of Edwardian London Time ere; which had brought the early 19th century house and estate in the Surrey Hills. Which sits to close to Dorking and within easy reach of her London based home. Mrs Greville intended Polesden Lacey to serve as a location for weekend parties; intimate gatherings of an elite circle of friends and acquaintances.

Margaret Greville was the daughter of William McEwan, who made a fortune as a brewer (e.g. McEwan’s Ale). At the time Margaret was illegitimate (meaning she was born out of wedlock at the time; although her father did later marry her mother to which made it more accurate to say that McEwan bought Polesden for his daughter and her husband of whom she married to in 1891. Margaret husband was called Ronald Greville, second son of the 2nd Baron Greville. Ronald died in 1908.

Mrs Greville had combination of her father’s wealth and her husband’s social connections; Mrs Greville had moved around the elite circle of society, to be able to entertain the royals from Edward VII to George VI. By then Mrs Greville been given the name Dame Commander of the Order of the British Empire (DBE) in 1922. To which that she had welcomed the great and the good of London society to her house in Charles Street, Mayfair and delighted in being able to attract movie stars and maharajahs to her parties.

Mrs Greville was a fascinating character. She moved around in the highest social circles, and could be kind and thoughtful, or wickedly acerbic. So many people who met her at the time like Arthur Balfour called her wit ‘honeyed poison’, and others were less complimentary still! Edward VII described her gift for entertaining as ‘genius’.

After acquiring the house from her father Mrs Greville set about transforming it into a glittering, venue suitable for hosting regular gatherings of elite of royalty, politicians, artists, and those at the very top of the social ladder. The Grevilles called in the architects Mewes and Davis, who also designed the Ritz Hotel in London; with every convenience that was installed, including ensuite accommodation and telephones, in that day of age when such

things were simply not common.

The house was furnished in opulent style, but not in any coherent fashion, for the decoration was acquired from other country houses and historic properties, so that the entrance hall is in a different style from the Library, which is completely different to the Saloon, and so on. The fact that she made her own stamp which so many people at that time and this day in age; it has become one of the fascinating things about Polesden Lacey, to which each room seems different as you enter the room, with a unique style and distinct character your like “oh wow” you get the sense of idea that people liked coming to the house and feel right at home. Moving from one room to the next is a constant journey of discovery of what she used the rooms for; how people felt when they arrived to their destination of peace and quiet, no disturbances or anything of the sort.

In 1923 Mrs Grevilles had offered Polesden to the Duke and Duchess of York (later King George VI and Queen Elizabeth) for their honeymoon, and the royal couple spent two weeks at the amazing country house. This had brought a result of the house and grounds in a London Newspaper that country house had been featured; also this has given the light of a wonderful historic articfact that has survived on record by showing how the interior and the gardens had looked at the time, and what it looks like today. More like time relapse of over the years since the National Trust had been given to them.

1942 Mrs Greville left the estate to the National Trust in memory of her father with the original artifacts, paintings, everyday uses at that time and many more you can see off hand. Unlike many other National Trust houses across the country there are very little in the way of ‘below stairs’ rooms on view to the public. Many of the original servant’s quarters are used by the Trust as part of their regional offices.

Mental Health VS Writing

The day I never felt I wanted to cry and say good bye to my writing.

What I find hardest is that when I’m so low about things or stressed out with things; it generally effects my writing abilities in the way that what’s the point in writing, I’m not good enough, no one wants to read them. I have never really took much noticed in the way that how much my writing is so connected and how important it is in my life.

Yet I’m the one constantly fighting my way through the of not giving up on the writing; even when I don’t know what to write or struggling to write about things, sometimes maybe I need a break from it all. I don’t know. Yet then how can I let down my readers and followers down if I just quit and gave up on the whole thing.

I love writing so much but it just hard enough to keep my emotions in check; not to share my frustrations, anger, hatred or show so much upset through my writing but yet that’s how I generally work when I write. However but it’s the only way I can seem to get my emotions through paper is share my words down. Than talking about it verbally.

Sorry this is short this week but still it’s something for this week; I may have something for you later in the week, along side hustle and bustle advice of blogging extra. My question is for you is what would do if I gave up blogging? Let me know down in the comments. It’s alright I haven’t made a decision on what I’m doing yet. I doubt I’ll will give it up I worked to hard to give it up.

A Dream that became a nightmare.

Life of a 26 year old who’s life can’t get so difficult than it already is. Love, Helpful people, confused, you then just think “my head is just going to explode one way or another.”

No matter how much I tried to keep myself together everyday; until one day anxiety starts to kick in, that’s when I know when I start to get so clammy. There’s no way I could stop it from happening; worst part is I’m starting to swell up on my way home on the bus, but it’s hard to show because you know that everyone will stare at you. All you want to do is just get off the bus and run home or just beg the bus to go quicker. Yet you have the most annoying bus driver in history; Mr Grump that’s what I call him, he’s always a grump no matter what it is. Which sets me off completely that he’s going to kick off again or something. As I prayed as he hovered near the bus that I want to get; he wasn’t going to be driving as I saw Norbert I relaxed he was going to be driving the bus, I was like thank god he was going to do it.

As I was going to get on I chocked as I was going to ask for my ticket; as I was trying to keep my tears back, he knew something was up and he said “sit behind me and don’t worry about the ticket.” So I sat down behind his little cab seat behind him. I kept to myself. My phone vibrated I looked up and saw it was Norbert messaged me “you okay? Also you missed your bus stop stay on I’ll take you back round” I replied “sorry. Thank you”

The fact that I missed my stop that showed that I wasn’t really myself at all…..

#lizzysweeklyblogswewillstandtogether – Barcelona – Spain

“I’m just looking for an angel with a broken wing. Jimmy Page”

Since it’s been quite in the United Kingdom for a month and half; from nearly a year of terror attacks, fires and many more things. I wouldn’t pass them to come back and finish their job; however in support of my readers, followers and my likes. 💕Team Who Says 💕 we all right behind you.

Shadows fill an empty heart as love is fading; but from all the things that we are but are not saying, that we can’t see beyond the scars and make it to the dawn? Yet we can fight along side you by changing the colours of the sky; which will open up to the ways that will make you feel more alive, the ways we will love your for all the things that will never died and to help you make it through the night love will find you.

“What about now? What about today? What if you’re making me all that I wasn’t meant to be? What if our love never went away? What if it’s lost behind words we could never find? Baby, before it’s too late, what about now?” cried the victims

The sun is breaking in their eyes to start a new day; all of the broken hearts can still survive with a touch of your grace, as the shadows fade into the light and you know that I am by your side where love will find you

“What about now? What about today? What if you’re making me all that I wasn’t meant to be? What if our love never went away? What if it’s lost behind words we could never find? Baby, before it’s too late, what about now?”

Now that we’re here; now that we’ve come this far just hold on, there is nothing to fear, for I am right beside you. For all my life, I am yours as always when you find me in your heart. I’m always going to protect you no matter what happens. No matter where I am; I’m always going to be right beside you, like it was meant to be encourage you to move on when your ready. I am always going to be yours.

The Unknown Fear: Confidence that rises and then it falls dramatically.

“I wrote ‘Fight Song’ as this declaration to believe in myself, and that is similar to what you are taught to believe in Girl Scouts. Building confidence. Building character. And above all else, being there for each other as a community. Rachel Platten”

Throughout my life confidence issues have always been the big issue for me as long as I can remember; yeah I’m confident with my friends, through believing in social media and etc but you always get those who do not understand how long you got yourself there by believing in yourself. You always find that as you start to build your confidence up when you have lost it for sometime; you start to feel it rising within you; thinking that your are going to get far in life because you have the belief in you that you never had, but yet you have that one person who knows which pin to pull it out from and your like so mad, upset and that you just want to give up on yourself. Like your not worth it anymore.

Yep that’s basically my life all the way through; I always believe in the positives when they mean something to me personally, I prefer to share them to people on social media because everyone needs positivity everyday and they need that encouragement to start the day read it along with going back to the post read it again if they feel a bit low.

Enough positivity can destroy the negativity but if you let negativity destroy positivity then what can you do. Listen to the negativity which will destroy your positivity of your confidence that you have made.

What causes low self-esteem?

The beliefs you have about yourself often appear to be statements of fact, although actually they’re really only opinions. They are based on the experiences you’ve had in life, and the messages that these experiences have given you about the kind of person you are. If your experiences have been negative, your beliefs about yourself are likely to be negative too.

Crucial experiences that help to form our beliefs about ourselves often (although not always) occur early in life. What you saw, heard and experienced in childhood – in your family, in the wider community and at school – will have influenced the way you see yourself. Examples of early experiences that could lead to your thinking badly of yourself include:

• systematic punishment, neglect or abuse

• failing to meet parental standards

• failing to meet peer-group standards

• being on the receiving end of other people’s stress or distress.

• belonging to a family or social group that other people are prejudiced towards

• an absence of praise, warmth, affection or interest

• being the odd one out, at home or at school.

Sometimes negative beliefs about yourself are caused by experiences later in life, such as workplace bullying or intimidation, abusive relationships, persistent stress or hardship, or traumatic events.

http://www.overcoming.co.uk/single.htm?ipg=8611

I always find that some songs that I like listening to help me a lot out by fighting back; there’s so many to chose from I wouldn’t be able to name a few to share with you, if you follow me on Instagram @lizzysweeklyblogsgoodmorning you’ll get random, fun, quotes and random songs attached to the picture of the day.

I always find things that are being positive so that it helps me out throughout the day; but along with sharing the positivity for others to feel proud, and positive towards themselves and make sure that they love themselves.

Would you want to know you are going to die before hand or die suddenly without warning?

With all this earth will disappear on this day and bad luck Friday thing is stupid in my opinion.

Surprisingly as I put this question towards google just to get another point of view on the outcome of this topic; could I actually find what I was actually looking for?, some people saying yes and some are saying no. The fact is the people who have said no are correct because the things that have come up on google have lots of different ways of explaining the whole what illness and natural causes etc. Not particularly what I wanted or asked for to be honest with you; so my summary of this from another view point has completely gone out of the window, so basically I’m just going to have to share my thoughts with you without the whole different side of this.

I wouldn’t want to know when I’m going to die because someone like me who has mental health; you just dwell on the fact that your going to die on a persistence day time, and the hour your expected to die. When I rather live and wait until it happens to be honest. If my life does end tomorrow then hey that’s when it will be; on the other hand if I didn’t then I’ve got another day to live, and to be able to carry on with my day to day activities.

What’s the point in worrying each day when your going to die; when you have lots of things to live for in life, you make them happen as if its your last and not worrying about if your going to die everyday. That’s probably why I take risks on things than normal; risks that may work or may not work at the end of the day, I’m glad that I’ve done them than not doing them. I use to play it all safe and etc but now I don’t. However there are places that I don’t want to take risks on again because I’ve been there done that got the t-shirt as people would say.

What is your philosophy of when you should die? Or just get on with life and let the nature do its cause?

When we were young

The questionable thing for teens in this generation is outside what's that? But when I was young I was outside all the time not having to worry about anything.

When we were young the world seemed so old; however now the world is careless and cold, we did what we did years ago and now the generation do what they are told in this life. From 2010 backwards we had the world by our tail; that's when the good would prevail, along with the starships that would set sail and none of us would fail in this life.
Since 2010 onwards things have changed. Things shouldn't of happened not when you're young; we had drawn to whoever that would keep us together, along with the binding by the heavens above and now we have to survive the traveling at the speed of light and love.
When we were young; we adored the fabulous life of freedom of everything when we were young, we got to be the foolish and fearless of not knowing the cost of what we had to pay by letting someone else be strong. That was because we were young.
In the moment of grace; there was a long leap of faith of keeping everyone safe, but when we are young now there's always still going to be more glory stored away. This generation says this is our life; and all the bad things that are happening the government seem to be burning the bridges that we cross over, all we want to see is the firelight and we are the innocent that are getting over the old times. But yet we are young where everything seemed to be what we dreamed everyday; never knowing the cost of what we just paid for the lives, yet we are letting someone else be strong.
When we are young we start to look at ourselves and your will start to look at someone else to find that you recognise you can see yourself. Which makes you wonder when you had taken back what you've been given away but it must of been the last time you had your freedom.

Who’s the worst critics Paperwork or Readers?

Due to all weekend paperwork everything seems to been gone out of the window. Let me explain.

The worst feeling ever is you don't even know if your the the worst critic about yourself when doing your paperwork or when you have readers who are like really supportive in what you do but then you have the crappy horrible critics. To be honest with you I'm the worst critic to myself than anyone else; but then again I can prove myself, my work and make a success out of it. Yet you have fair few who may think your a fake, you scamming them or something because they are either jealous or that they haven't got anything better to do other than try and rip you to shreds.

Hate those sort of people who want to be successful but actually they just see you as potential threat; because your making a success of yourself one way or another, yet for me I'm just pushing through life and want to do things for myself. In my way of thinking now is no matter how much negativity I'm getting from the critics now; I'm just thinking I don't give a sh*** anymore want to criticise for doing something I want to do, get off your own backside and do something you want to do than criticise other people. If anyone has any ideas on how I can fundraise for children in Nigeria let me know; I'm having great difficulties with the critics trying to shut me down with the fundraising through justgiving, and etc.

Paperwork always paperwork when it comes to blogging more so now as I've got two blogs to write for; double the amount of work to do, double the amount of paperwork to do and you have no idea how hard it is to get one set of paperwork to work. Then the other one you think yeah this would work for the other and yet the one you worked with for so long decides to trip you up at every hurled when you try and do it. Not cool man. You never guess which blog website it is? Ah that's what I thought not Sentebaleblogs but lizzysweeklyblogs.com is doing the whole tripping me up business. That's just because I'm starting from scratch again but coping it from the notebooks. She says then made a complete c*** out of it and had start all over again. You think it's should be easy if you did it the first time around with the other blog….but nooo when it comes to my brain it just has a complete brain fart as it does. After doing it for hours on end thinking it's never going to end. Still haven't finished what I was going to do with the paperwork because I was miffed about the whole fundraising thing I couldn't concentrate on it properly. Will get it done sooner than later. The one rant hustle and bustle advice of blogging that doesn't happen very much.

Sunday Special- Our Cases, Our Stories, Our Voices – Can’t afford School Fees

(The fact that I haven't made my good morning Sunday Special Post for this week I've decided to use Sentebaleblogs post just help me out a bit. Just to cover my arse really. Haha not literally guys; just been a paperwork weekend, and I have s new system for Sentebaleblogs I thought hey why not try it out with the lizzysweeklyblogs. Well we all know how that went didn't we? As you have worked out what I'm like on here. Yep compete utter mayhem. Anyways I'll let the kids do the talking now not me. Chow for now)

"Young lives who’s family has no money to send their children to school." – Sentebaleblogs
“I'm Jackson age 7 on the right looking rather cool and really? Really do I have to have my photo taken? Question face along with Ekure really? I rather hide away”
“I'm Tobe I'm 6 years old I will be 7 in December. If my parents didn't come to the home for help I'll just be looking at the pictures and no idea where places are. Fortunately for me I got that chance to change my life. Oh I'm the one next to Jackson reading supposed to be”
“I'm Theresa who's sitting next to Tobe and my annoying funny twin brother Tony who's invading my space as normal. I'm 5 years old I'll be turn 6 in November yet I'll be sharing it with Tony’
“I'm Tony. I'm also 5 and be turning 6 in November along with my twin Theresa; I'm the most outgoing out of the two of us, as you can see in the picture and I am the most cheesiest but I have this special connection if there's something wrong with Theresa I would feel it too. But also she has that special super power too.”
To the start every parent worst nightmare is not being able to provide, support, or even give their children the best start in life. That's what happened to these lovely children; there parents couldn't afford the school fees as it was too expensive for them to pay for the material, uniform and many more. Yet for these awesome guys they are going to school because their parents came to us for help; we've given them the life time of having the best start, achieve the goals that they want to achieve.
Their parents quick thinking and no who to come to for help. We worked with their parents to proved their school fees; to which now they are going to school everyday to be able to learn, and to succeed in life that they want to be when they grow up. There are so many families like our four stars that need our help to get their children into schools to achieve what their parents couldn't achieve.

“See…we need help just to go to school otherwise we end up not being able to read or write or even achieve our dreams of what we want to do in life.” – Promise
“Without your help by donating as much as you can we are able to go to school; meet new friends, learn and a sense of where to belong in the world. If you can donate either through the donate page or through Western Union please follow the links and etc that are listed down below”. – John
How to donate:
Western Union: email us on sentebaleblogsnigeria@outlook.com with subject of Donations Via Western Union. We need your full name, address, email address so we can confirm to you we have picked it up and the reference number.
Just Giving: to donate via Paypal or by card follow this link here https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/sentablenigeria
Go Raise: love a spot of shopping why not go to go raise which you will find your favourite stores along with their donations that they send to us. https://www.goraise.co.uk/sentebale-nigeria-children-our-cases-our-stories-our-voices/