No matter how I try and work this Newsletter update thing; I do find that it is the most annoying thing you could actually do, I never know how to sort this one out no matter how much I try to improve it and deal with it by making look sense. Only one thing that actually bothers me to the bone because I can’t seem to make any progress with it no matter what I do with it. To be honest I’m just glad that it’s just once a month because I just can’t be dealing with it all the time at least it’s just a summary of what happened to be honest.
Irish month my favourite month well not really but because it’s Irish and I’m part Irish so hey my to my Irish family over there. Haha. To be honest I’m just be glad that this month with be over as soon as possible because this time last year had to be a bad time for me personal problems that’s all. Never liked March anyway as it was three birthdays in the first place always busy plus Mothers Day; so yeah it’s one of those months in my house hold to be honest then a quiet month next month, odd birthdays here and there in May/June. June is like the same as this month 3 birthdays your like seriously man but it’s a parents job in my house hold to do that one other than the May one everyone gets involved.
Beast from the East which we ended up being laughed at as we couldn’t cope with just snow but due to some more apparently (this was happening in March 18 for the future readers haha) this weekend coming not sure what people will be doing probably doing the same thing a few weeks back. No change there.
Superdrug Haul was a new one for this year other than my birthday haul one at the start of the year. I’m hoping that I’m able to do that more with things when I once get money behind me would be nice and cool to be honest. Would love to do hauls though because it seems fun but sometimes when I get home from work at a certain time I always end up by getting bombarded with parcels for my sister and I’m like will you stop ordering things or sometimes it gets me down when I don’t have anything in the post. I do tend to make fun pictures for my sister with her parcels and send it to her to make her day feel more special along with something to look forward to.
Stories and free writing blogs over the past couple of weeks as you may of noticed that I’ve been writing stories and the last couple of days free style blogging that I just don’t make any sense in writing and not taking it seriously. Like letting go just a tad. Just to mush it up a bit.
Can’t think what else happened really everything seems to be the same to be honest with you. Happy end of March month time. Only a week and 4 Days I think not sure. Remember remember I have other blogs too. Hehe.
What a week! Don’t even know if I was coming or going to be honest with you; it’s been like works been busy to which I don’t mind to be honest I needed the distraction until I get home, and the almighty head starts to kick in with the whole anxiety, stress and everything about stupid things. You then think what the hell are you doing with your life really and that’s when you soon realise your worrying over stupid things.
Yet I have noticed that when I’m a bit behind of blogging or I’m struggled to even open up my iPad to turn to my pages this week especially two days this week that I just couldn’t schedule anything. That’s when I knew that there was a slight problem and personally I don’t think it should effect my blog stats but it does for some reason. This isn’t a get at its just that it’s an observation to be honest and I shouldn’t have to justify myself if I’m having a blip in my life to be honest. I know in the past I would give you guys a heads up but sometimes it’s will catch you by surprise that I haven’t scheduled anything for that day. Just think “oh maybe she’s been busy or she’s ill or something. She has got other blog stores and what not” it’s really not a get at its just that I do have others as well you can check out as well.
However thank you for being patience though even when I’m having a very bad blip in my life this week. I’m just got a lot of things going on in my head then work as well to be honest I like the whole going on long trips but sometimes it does make you tired. Especially when you got to occupy kids for x amount of minutes sometimes they just completely ignore you and your like alright then be in your own world of music. That’s a best bit to be honest with you. I’ve learnt I’m more pro active with behaviour needs and medical side of things.
Life can be so miss leading at the best of times it’s actually quite funny. I have worked out how my life turns out quite funny at the best of it sometimes but then you got to think hang on a minute I’m doing this one minute and the next I’m doing this. It does feel like I’m back at my old job it’s like on the go all the time you don’t have a chance to think unless you stop to be honest with you.
Yep I’m starting to ramble now haha. Remember if I haven’t scheduled anything I have others for you to read just check them out. Here’s a few rules haha.
1.Remember I could be having a blip if I’m struggling to write
2.I’m probably busy
3. I’m probably ill with something
4. Stressed and probably want to punch someone (happens most days mostly my best friend Meg haha) I know I won’t punch someone but it’s one of those days.
Every night I remembered that evening the way that I looked at you with the way that you knew something was wrong; that’s when I told you that I was leaving you because the amount of times you hurt me with the cruel words and the falsie accusations that you made against me, you didn’t realise how mean it was and the same old frustrations that you took out on me. You didn’t realise that you’ve thrown all of it away because of what you done.
Now I’m a little bit lost without you I’m just a bloody big mess inside this isn’t a love song goodbye. Since I’ve walked away hoping that you would come running after me I’m so tired of being lost and I’m so tired of loosing, all the pain, the hurt and confusion I’ve been so mad about things that I can’t control I’m not one of those people who back down. Yet I’m always finding away coming back to fight even if I’m scare and frightened. I’ll be back and I’ll be coming back to life.
As I know that I’m ready to save myself for all of this pain that it’s not my fault to begin with; yet when the scares are ready to heal I know that I’ll be the one ready to heal properly, I know that this love ain’t a good bye because you know that I’m gonna fight for you no matter what it takes.
Might do everything backwards today because I feel like it and because I can hehe. So yesterday (14th March 2018) from the minute I woke up to the time I went to bed had to be one of those days where I was like I was being back at my old job that everything seemed to be going wrong but it wasn’t. However today on #throwbackthursday I wanted to share with you guys something very special and something that I’ve only just learnt recently.
If you remember me starting out from day one back in November 2015 where I was starting out but haven’t got a clue what I was doing. I learnt that the other day I had a loads of subscribers without even noticing I had that category my apologies to anyone that I completely ignored. It was set up by an email that I didn’t know at the time or figured out to access it; I’ve now changed so that I know who is registering and who’s posting, if you are one of those people that I didn’t haven’t clue about I’m 100% sorry but this blog is for you. I wanted to share how many subscribers I’ve got so far with you guys and I’m so proud that you guys have been subscribing to me and continuing to as well. Thank you ever so much guys.
We come to followers yes it’s only 5 followers but I’m pretty sure it will raise slowly; yet it got me thinking why everyone is boasting about the whole how many followers they were getting, I was like I’m not getting much no matter how many blogs I do and so on. That’s when I realised everyone has been subscribing to my blog website; I don’t mind either way if you follow you follow you subscribe you subscribe, either which I’m happy but secretly would be nice to see more than 5 and that’s just me to be honest I think I just need to work on that a bit more haha.
Making the mark of 50 likes of my blog post is a great sense of achievement because it shows that my work is actually amazing because I know how critical I am about my work and my pictures. The fact that it’s giving me the voting confidence and believe in myself that it isn’t rubbish but also starting to find my leash or niche whatever you call it theses days. Just want to say a massive thank you to you guys in believing in me and liking my blogs.
Not even sure what actually happened today and I’m just literally blogging off my phone because I can and I haven’t prepared today’s Wednesdays Evening post. I’m not even sure what this is about but heyho. Let’s talk about how much I hate adult life of today shall we. Haha
Today one of my best friends decided to ring me at 5:15am forgetting that they are currently 4 hours ahead of me. They were like oh it’s like 9:15am so I photo screened them the time difference done it a few times today. Then half an hour later my job decides to message me to say they need me and I’m like at least I’m half awake nearly.
Then I finally got out of bed about another half an hour later. Hardly awake what so ever then out of the door by 6:45am back home at 9:30am for 4 hours. In that four hours pretty much sorted out something what my friend wanted me to do; afterwards went round my local Sainsbury’s shop and I thought I do a bit of house keeping to get two loafs of bread because someone did the dishwasher, came home had breakfast and etc. Then fell asleep the rest of the time so I can catch up some extra sleep. To which I manage to be completely awake and on caffeine for the next run of my job at 14:15pm (2:15pm) got home at about 16:30/16:30pm (4:30/4:45) to find a parent buying two more loafs of bread. To their realisation that they didn’t know I left a message or brought some already. So extra bread for me to steal in the middle of the night but not sure how long that will last until I react to it.
I thought I’ll do a bit of the house keeping and help get a few bits to get by. Yet I’m trying to get myself back on the right side of everyone but yeah. Sometimes being an adult has its good times and funny moments. Now I’m gonna chill. As you may of noticed that I’ve not even corrected any of my writing in this or anything else. It is what it is with any planning involved. Might need to remember not to do this again on my phone haha. Night people sorry for late posts for somethings. Now you know what a day I have had off the record. Also remember the actual pictures are on the iPad not on phone jeez! Someone give me a holiday please.
The snowglobe snow stayed settled on the bottom of the floor tonight; no matter how much you tried to shake it to make move to watch it float backdown, there was not a footprint or a wheelchair marks to be seen outside and inside the kingdom of isolation of being trapped into ones body. Then again it looks like I’m the next king of science and maths leaving the mark on the world.
The scientists are howling like the swirling storm that’s inside a test tube but they couldn’t keep it in but heaven knows that they tried; don’t let them in don’t let them in be a good mathematic scientist like you always have to be, conceal don’t feel like you have to let them know but now they know and Stephen Hawking would say “Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change.”
Don’t let it hold you back anymore because Stephen Hawking will say once more “I have noticed even people who claim everything is predestined, and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road.” before turning away and slamming that door. The people who has a learning disability or something that will take their time what are they going to say or do? Just let the storm rage on because it never bothered them anyway.
It’s funny how some distance makes everything seem small to him and the fears that once controlled him now can’t get to him at all. It’s time to see what I can do by testing the limits to make the break through because there’s no right or wrong there’s no rules for him to say he couldn’t do anything as he was free. Stephen once said “I have no idea. People who boast about their IQ are losers.”
It was time for him to let go of what he had suffered for so long he’s now in the wind and the sky; you would never see him cry “I’m not afraid of death, but I’m in no hurry to die. I have so much I want to do first.” yet here I sit and here I’ll stay in the history of time saying that “yes I’m disabled but I know how to carry on with life” the power that I have in my mind will travel through the air and into the ground.
My soul will always be at Cambridge University that one that is crystallises like an icy blast. “It matters if you just don’t give up.” says Stephen the true words if you gave up it wouldn’t matter but it would matter if you don’t give up on yourself. You just rise like the break of dawn and I in the light of the day my conditions never bothered me anyway.
You know when things go around where you got people making quotes whether it’s on facebook, Twitter and etc it either summons you up completely or summons up someone else that you know. There’s always one that summons me up completely where you swear to yourself at least 20 times a day; I’m pretty sure I’ve done that quite a lot today to be honest, when I’ve done something that wasn’t meant to happen and what not. I find that it’s normally the same word that comes out fluently at the time it happens; I’ve just done it with this picture (down below) whilst making it as I put a picture in the wrong place, without knowing what was about to come out of my mouth there goes that word again and your like seriously never swear to myself that much do I?
Then I realise when it comes to adult life and anxiety I find it’s a nervous habit at the best of times. A lot more but then I realise I’m being rather stupid about it all stop; yet adult life does really suck because at the end of the day all you seem to do is work work work and the pay pay pay bills. Like you don’t have anything else better to do in your life you then realise your like Bridget Jones with a bag of minstrels or something then start singing “all by myself” into a hair brush like nobody knows.
That’s sounds like me most of the time without the bag of minstrels or singing the song into a hair brush but a bed cover wrapped round me after a shift of work. Yay me I’ve just given myself a headache with anxiety and literally having a major anxiety attack on two people they were like erm erm right one was like trying to make me laugh and the other one was like I don’t get you. Hehe I like what he did there though even though he didn’t know he did….that’s what I think though.
Oh oh hang on a minute almost forgotten my favourite part when I’m feeling anxious is I watch Most Haunted or throw myself into writing. That’s how I save myself from most things in life.
D-I-N-O-S-A-U-R a dinosaur one little child coming up to their father as they were playing in the park. Yet just down in the town centre far away from the father and child; teens huddle in a near by restaurant when a few middle age men who the teens think that they are old, had started to hit on them (meaning coming on to them) and few teens will think this weird and freak them out. By all means which is a right thing to do is by moving away and call for help; however you have other teens who would go and stand up for themselves, which most likely go something like this in my day or still does now I do not know.
D-I-N-O-S-A-U-R a dinosaur an old man hitting on me like what? You need a cat scan. (Pretty sure they don’t even know what a cat scan is I like to point out) old man why are you staring at me eyes on me and my friends? It’s kinda creepy you should be prowling around the Old folk’s home come on due! Leave us alone. At first we thought it was kinda ill when we saw that your were like a billion and still out trying to make a killing. Just get back to the museum.
Hey dinosaur you’re pre-historic that’s what you are; your a carnivore would you like some meat I know it. You’re pretty old. Not long now until you’re a senior citizen you will start strut around with that sexy tank of oxygen; oh honey your toupee is falling to your left side. Get up and go bro! Oh wait you’re fossilised!