Everyday Post: The time when I should be spring cleaning!

It’s that time of year that you should start doing spring cleaning after you hearing someone getting the hover out and doing the hovering but you just can’t be bothered to do it. Yep that’s me. Right now I just haven’t got the patience or the willingness to tidy up my room right now. You may think I’m just lazy or something but it could be true at the end of the day it’s how I feel at the time sometimes I just haven’t got the energy or I’m not feeling right and all I want to do is sleep.

There’s a reason for me not feeling right and sleeping a lot but my room really does need to be done a lot and my bruo needs to be fixed and everything else in the room. Yet I just can’t be bothered too. I have started to do a bit of spring cleaning on my blog website because there were a few categories and tags that I thought I don’t use those anymore or why did I come up with those at the time. What was I thinking.

That’s when I realise that when I first started doing my blogs I hadn’t got a clue what I was going what so ever. So it was a bit of blessing in disguise that it was time to start clearing out a few bits of my blogging site; to which I can create more things that are relevant to the blog site over the next few weeks, months and etc. I just want to say thank you ever so much for reading my blog pages over the years and so far today it does give me great pleasure that you enjoy them. Letting me continue writing them and giving me the confidence that I need.

Last time I checked it was like 57 views and 13 visitors thats just before 4:00pm UK time and this morning I woke up too 44 views and 3 visitors at the time I think it was and that was barely 9:00am UK time. It goes to show how much you guys value your time reading them as I publish things that I believe to think they are pretty rubbish but goes up anyways.

Knowing that they aren’t rubbish means I’m doing something right. As you keep on coming back for more and more. Just keep on coming back, liking, comment and follow I guess but hey it’s up too you. Thanks for believing in me and my work. I always believe in you guys to do amazing work too. Happy sunny cold Sunday for a Sunday.

Sunday Online Diary Entries: “Glitter and Gold” – Story

Someone once said to me life has its good days and bad days. It doesn’t have to be this bad once you lose yourself there’s no cry for help when you don’t think you need it. Old friends are just like chores but it’s when you need them more than ever before; all that glitter and all that gold that you dream of won’t by you happiness, as you seem to brought into the limelight and sold your stories to the newspapers you can’t control all that glitter or that gold. You need to remember to take control of your soul; no matter high or how low you get, you’ll be on your own and no one will be there to catch your fall.

How you going to act because losing your soul will cost you more than the life you’re paying for. You don’t need all the money in the world and all of those friends you left behind; one day you might actually need them when it’s cold outside as your life might go spiralling out of control, yet all that glitter and all that gold that your earning won’t keep you happy for much longer and when you have brought everything that’s when you wish you had the control of your finances more better. All you need is to take better of your soul.

One day you’re going to wake up to find that your dream is loosing its shine because you have nobody by your side; that’s when the rain comes falling down, and you’re losing your mind that’s when the only place you turn to is the media. That’s where your going to run to and then once it’s all out where are you going to hide? Glitter and gold won’t keep you warm especially on those lonely nights that you wish you had someone by your side.

All I can say is to you dear is if you want to be which and famous just remember who you are, where you came from, who your true friends are and most importantly stay grounded don’t let the glitter or the gold or the fame go straight to your head. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.

Sunday Special: “Oh Mother” – Story

Dear lord I must confess the thoughts of loneliness but you have to understand why I get so defensive about guys who want to be with me. I can tell you now that I couldn’t tell you before but I know you know as you have witnessed over the years of the horrible man he was to my mum. Let me tell you the story through my broke child eyes but I know now my mum is safe with you.

You have to understand that my mother was so young with such innocent eyes with dreams of a fairytale life and all of the things that money can’t buy. Yet lord she had thought he was a wonderful guy until he changed since he now claimed that she was all his the day she had taken on his name; the first time he took his anger out on her face was when they were on their honeymoon, did you know as she prayed to you she kept all of her pain locked away since then especially in front of us and yet you weren’t there to save her.

Oh mother we are now stronger because of all the tears that you have she but mother don’t look back you will know he will never hurt us again. I would like to thank you for all you have done and still showing your conditional love to us; you got me I got you together we always pull through, oh mother you never stopped us from being who we are and reminding us no matter what happens continue to pray to the lord for protection. One day we got told that we were staying home for the day because the social workers came one day whilst we were at school; that was the day he turned on his kids as one of us spoke out but we kept it quiet like you told us too, my mother knew she had to leave him in order to protect us from anymore harm and there was so many voices inside her head.

Saying over and over and over that she deserved much more than this because she was so sick of believing the lies that he told about her on how she got the cuts and bruises; even hurting the kids on every other odd occasions, because he couldn’t hurt my mother anymore yet she had covered the bruises as much as she could on herself and ours before we went to school. My mother got so tired of defending for her life and ours she could have died fighting for the lives of her children.

Oh mother look at us now we are stronger than ever before because from all of the tear you have shed; don’t look back now because he can’t hurt us again, god had heard our prayers sent guardian angels to come and save us. I would like to thank you for all that you’ve done and still do. Don’t forget that you’ve got me and I’ve got you together we always pull through. We always pull through as a a family like we always do with each other’s love.

All of this our life you have spent burying he hurt with regret of not doing it any sooner but remember mum he can’t touch us again. Remember every time he tried to break you down just remember who’s still around; until we as your children stood our ground finding our voices it was over because we are stronger than before, we weren’t afraid of him no more when he would come home drunk or got high or things that made him mad and would take it out on you we jumped in to save yours. We will never have to go back again because we are stronger from all of the tears that you have shed don’t look back from all of the pain because he can’t hurt us again.

So mother I want to say thank you for everything that you have done and still do; you got me I got you together we always move on, together we always pull through, know your happy with someone who treats you right there’s no turning back now.

He will always going to be there to help you get through everything as it was your turn to be protected from everything that was coming your way. He’s the best step dad we can ever have no matter how much we were protecting you; he showed that he wasn’t going to harm you or us like our real dad, to me our step dad is and always will be my real dad no matter what. I love you mum.

Lord you gave us the strength to carry on finding away to move on I like to say thank you no matter how much we hated you at the time you gave us the time but also you sent us the most beautiful guardian angels and now mum is happy once again and not afraid anymore.


Readers

I would like to say this is just a story that I have created please don’t think this is what’s happening in my life right now because it isn’t. This story could happen to anyone around us but don’t know what’s happening behind closed doors. Just bare it in mind that if someone says they are okay and make an excuse of getting bruises and etc. Don’t ignore it okay.

Lizzy

X

Online Diary Entries: “Don’t know if I can…” – Story

Who do you think you are? Coming into my life saying that you love me more than anything in the world; now that I’m lost, confused, sacred and I don’t know if I can do this anymore even if I’m trying to take one more step towards you because all of this waiting is regret. I don’t know if you know that I’m starting to become your ghost and your figure of imagination; I have this feeling that you have lost the love that I loved the most, I have learnt that to live half alive but I need to know if you still love me one more time.
Who do you think you are? Running around leaving more scars on me whilst your collecting more jars of hearts; I hope they will catch a cold from the ice from your soul because I don’t know if you will come back for me anymore, who do you think are? I don’t hear you asking all around for me to see if I can be found but I’m trying to grow strong but I know if I ever fall back into your arms I will know you want me one more time.
It took so long just to feel alright with you but remember how you manage to put back the light in my eyes; I wish I could have missed all of this pain if I hadn’t gotten so scared to begin with because you broke your promises that you wouldn’t hurt me again knowing my fears of being hurt, and now you’re back trying to get me back.
Yet one question for you to answer do you want to come back for me? If not just don’t come back at all as I can’t keep waiting for you if you keep on having leaving unempty promises. Just tell me if you don’t really love me anymore because I can’t keep on breaking my heart like this anymore. Come back for me? Or just don’t come back at all. Then I know you have made the decision for me than me to make one for you. Who do you think you are?

Friday Online Diary Entries: Welcome to the greatest show – Story

Woah oh! I just want to welcome you to the greatest show. The greatest show on earth that you haven’t seen before here is the fairytale that unfolds right in front of you; do you know what’s behind my smoke and glass? Wondering what’s under all of the make up and what’s her story; I’ll let you in a little secret everyone wears a mask, yet are you sure that she’s not selling you here soul? Would you wonder if you be left out in the cold if you knew her story?
To you it’s all blue skies in your world that surrounds you with fun and games until you fall; that’s when you find all along that you’re left without anyone at all because you’re riding on a shooting star with a smile on your face, but as soon as the shine fades and you’re left out all alone wondering where did they all go? Being constantly judged, hated by people who don’t think your great through like but behind the beauty and make up of the mask; you never see the scars that’s been hidden, yet who will be around when the limelight faded? Yet you’ve been shut down by people who you once loved pushed out that made her smile but made her frown.
She learnt to always take a bow. Work with the crowd. Break the ground new each time you stick at it even playing the clown who everyone wants to be around. Even when the lights go down because she has that confidence that no one thought she had; now she can tell you she’s not going anywhere because she is the one that everyone who wants to talk to, she knows that no one can bring her down no matter what they say because she is beautiful and has wings to fly.
No matter how many times she would throw the mirror down to floor; she always use the pain to her advantage because she realises that she’s in struck able, she’s not alone when she screams it all out and hears everyone else screaming the same thing. So that’s why it’s her greatest show by changing her life around.

Online Diary Entries: “Breathe Slow” – Story

As I’m walking away from you on the cliff face because I’m running out of patience because I can’t believe what the hell I’m hearing and speaking of hell it doesn’t compare what I am feeling but I love you took much it goes to show that all my emotions go out of control. You think it’s good for you but bad for me I can’t hardly see from the tears that flow wishing you could take this pain away from me. I just can’t forget to breathe slow count from one to ten with my eyes closed because ladies you have to take it in and get your composure before I lose it so I have to get my composure too.
I am going to breathe slow with my eyes closed counting from one to ten because ladies you have to take it in and the composure because ladies never lose you’re composure. I’m not going to lie or even try to win because I’m not the one with the gun who’s going to shoot because that would mean that you will be winning. No matter how much I love you or how many times I show all my emotions because you should know that I can be out of control which is bad for me but good for you know to know how much you hurt me.
When you hardly see the tears that flow because someone should be better hold me back as I will go for someone like the fake person who’s currently at your side; you’re lucky I know how to act as I’m not going to attack, I’m being calm and cool believe me you wouldn’t be taking much lightly and your breathing lightly right now. Just wait when your with me that’s when your going to loose your composure and the worse of it will come with my psycho will show. I’m just breathing slow right now to keep calm and carrying on.

Everyday Post: Candle in the wind

As every England’s red rose fell we say goodbye to one of our love ones. Yet may you ever grow founder in our hearts where you presented the grace that has nestled itself. Did you know where all of our lives that had been torn apart you called your home; whispering in the winds to all those that are in pain, to now that you belong in heaven watching down on us the stars come out and spell out your name.
It’s seems to me that your life that you have once lived is like a candle in the wind that shall never fade into the background of the sunset. Whenever the rain falls or sets in your footsteps will always fall here; where ever I am knowing that your right next to me along the english greenest hills, as I try and keep your candle burning before I get to the top without it burning out before your legend ever will.
Loveliness that we have once lost will never forget one great person you really are; these empty days without your smile will be hard but this torch that you send down to us will always carry, for our nations golden child who will fall your steps and even though we try to continue your legacy the truth is that it brings us to tears. The words that float in the winds of the english hills with the red roses flying in the winds; you have brought us through the years of your kindness, we really don’t want to say goodbye to our national treasure. A country that is lost without your true beauty or your beautiful soul; who will bring your wings back to life with your compassion more than you’ll ever know.
Your footsteps will never fade or fall here as long as England’s hills are still green and soft just how you like it; you’re candle will never burn out from the strong winds, and neither will your legend.

Thursday Online Diary Entries: Out of the blue – Story

A new year, a new beginning, a new chapter of my life started today well that’s what I thought it could be my last. Yet my eyes were wide shut because I had thought that I was going to give up; just like the rest of the time that I’d be walking the world alone, yet out of the blue there in the middle of my path you had shown me a life that I couldn’t see without you next me and there’s no way I can fight these emotions anymore your energy running through me like nobody else can renew me it had to be you.
Out of the blue can this be true? Family and friends were my life until I had butterflies in my tummy; I wasn’t known to have them but you gave me love that i can’t disguise, there will be times when we are apart and it will kill me everytime it happens because I know that I want you to be in my life and my heart along side the beautiful garden.
Yet no emotions can be shown during the time my whole body felt like ice as if I took on ice challenge far away from home. Needed to feel that sound that shone my way along the beach like my world that I once knew had turned to dust but I had my faith and trust. I thought I’ll be walking the world alone without anyone by my side but yet out of the blue that’s where I met you; I can’t believe that this happened so soon, there’s just no way that you chose me out of million of girls you just want to be with me and now that I can’t fight these emotions because your energy your lips and your touch running through me.
You showed me a life that I can’t see without you but I know that there will be times when we are apart but knowing that you’re  in my heart growing into a beautiful garden has come true.

Wednesday Evening Post: “How do you do that!” Cried a voice

Fun fact that I’ve just created at least three in one night before today’s blogs post probably saying that by now I would of fallen a sleep writing this if I’ve finish this by the end I’ll write I haven’t fallen asleep on this one for tonight’s post. The fact is that I am on a role right now for blogging so no time to sleep even though I’ve got work and etc but right now I don’t care.
“So how do I do that when I write emotional stories and publish it afterwards?” “Like Lizzysweeklyblogs have you seen her blog posts recently?” To be honest I struggle at the best of times if you ask me oh wait you did. Ha. Well to be honest music and just typing in first liners generators so that I can get some idea of what I can feed off the lines of them. Meaning to get a story out of the lines as I mostly get a good story out them; yet with some of the songs you can just bulk out the lines in a story cut some of the lines out that you don’t want, put in what you want use your emotions and feelings inside you onto the paper or screen.
The arts of writing is that everyone has a story to tell; everyone has a voice, everyone has a life, everyone has experiences and it depends on how they want to show it to the world. I for one can’t keep a diary I’ve tried but never works out for me in the slightest but I transfer it all into a story to where I get the characters tell the story of how they feel, what’s happening and etc. I genuinely feel better about it because it just gets my anger, helplessness, and most importantly helps clears my mind also.
So you could say story writing for me is like my journal or diary of how I am feeling on the day. Yet I’m sharing it with the characters who aren’t real and I don’t have to talk about it to anyone else who is real. It’s all there in the story. You just have to be patient with the whole system to be honest and most importantly find your own style of writing at the end of the day.
It took me all day to write Tuesday’s online blog (20.2.18) until I had the realisation of how anger and hurt I was feeling. Then this song that I haven’t heard in a very long time came into my head then it was like the past week I was like yeah I don’t know what to do since you’ve been gone never felt so alone. I had work it out how I was going to write it with that sort of line of words because I still loved them no matter what was going on in my head.
Story writing for me is a work of art once you’ve got something to write about write about it because at the end of the day the characters are the one telling the story and so are you but via them. That’s how I see it you. It’s like directors working with actors on a film set; for me it’s me working with characters so they can understand me and I can understand them, it’s quite cleaver how it all works once you know what your doing. Sometime I don’t even know what I’m doing most of the time.
Yep that’s me done for a Wednesday Evening Post this week and I haven’t stopped half way through last night. So that’s a bonus which I normally do because I get distracted quite easily; no I’m not what you think it is can’t remember the letter for it, I think it’s ADHD or something close to that, it’s just me with a few other things. Good night peeps.

 

Everyday Post: I hate you, don’t leave me – Story

You don’t know the fear that I have when you’re not around but yet I hate you, don’t leave me because I feel like I can’t breathe and yet I just want you to hold me then I don’t want you to touch me. All I ever wanted from you from you to love me and I need to trust you like I use to trust you. Please stay with me and set me free from all of the pain that I am in.
Yet I can’t back down I’m not denying that I’m going to leave because I’m always finding myself staying put as I can’t decided as I’m now confused and scared; I am terrified that you will leave me as I admit that I’m in and out of my head, so don’t listen to a word that I say please hear me out with my worries before I run away thinking you won’t love me again. I just can’t take this pain anymore but I hate you don’t leave me; as you wrap your arms around me before I start to run a different direction like I normally do, yet I love you when you kiss me on my forehead at the same time you cuddle me during the bad times for that reason you complete me.
The fact that I can’t back down or deny that I’ve got my silly upset head on; you stay put during the confusion and sacredness yet you don’t listen to a single word I say, I could say that I’m addictive to the madness but I could hear you whisper in my ear that your addicted to my madness and my sadness. We find ourselves here far too many times before; yet I feel abandoned scared now all because I’m terrified of another falling out, I just so fragile that just washed up on the shore and they forget that I’m not here or they don’t see me and there’s you who sees me for who I am and that’s all that matters.
You always take my pain away even when I tell you I hate you don’t leave me. I hate you please love me like I love you more than anything in the world.