Saturday Online Diary Entries: “Hard Times” – Stories

All that I want in life is to wake up fine to where someone that I love the most tells me that I’m alright; all I want is a hole in the ground for safety, where you can come and tell me when it’s alright for me to come out of the hole that I made. I know that it’s going to be hard at the best of times to which makes you wonder why you even bothering to try; yet at the most hardest times you begin to wonder why it’s taken you down, but you at the end of the day you have laugh when you cry because these days you have to carry on and I still don’t even know how I’m still even surviving the hard times. Yet I still hit rock bottom every-time I even try to fight it for so long.
I find myself walking around with my little rain cloud singing the Whinnie the Pooh song “I’m just a little black rain cloud” hanging over my head and yet it’s not coming down. Where do I go from here? Some body give me some sort of lightning and you come along hit me with lightning I came back alive.
Tell my friends that I’m coming down so that we can kick it out if I start to hit the ground; it does make you wonder why you even try to help, it really does make you wonder why you try yourself to get back up to the top, I still don’t even know how I survived when I’ve hit rock bottom so many times and even when the hard times seem to not bother going away anytime soon they always find away to make you hit rock bottom.


Friday Online Diary Entries: Welcome to the greatest show – Story

Woah oh! I just want to welcome you to the greatest show. The greatest show on earth that you haven’t seen before here is the fairytale that unfolds right in front of you; do you know what’s behind my smoke and glass? Wondering what’s under all of the make up and what’s her story; I’ll let you in a little secret everyone wears a mask, yet are you sure that she’s not selling you here soul? Would you wonder if you be left out in the cold if you knew her story?
To you it’s all blue skies in your world that surrounds you with fun and games until you fall; that’s when you find all along that you’re left without anyone at all because you’re riding on a shooting star with a smile on your face, but as soon as the shine fades and you’re left out all alone wondering where did they all go? Being constantly judged, hated by people who don’t think your great through like but behind the beauty and make up of the mask; you never see the scars that’s been hidden, yet who will be around when the limelight faded? Yet you’ve been shut down by people who you once loved pushed out that made her smile but made her frown.
She learnt to always take a bow. Work with the crowd. Break the ground new each time you stick at it even playing the clown who everyone wants to be around. Even when the lights go down because she has that confidence that no one thought she had; now she can tell you she’s not going anywhere because she is the one that everyone who wants to talk to, she knows that no one can bring her down no matter what they say because she is beautiful and has wings to fly.
No matter how many times she would throw the mirror down to floor; she always use the pain to her advantage because she realises that she’s in struck able, she’s not alone when she screams it all out and hears everyone else screaming the same thing. So that’s why it’s her greatest show by changing her life around.

Thursday Online Diary Entries: Out of the blue – Story

A new year, a new beginning, a new chapter of my life started today well that’s what I thought it could be my last. Yet my eyes were wide shut because I had thought that I was going to give up; just like the rest of the time that I’d be walking the world alone, yet out of the blue there in the middle of my path you had shown me a life that I couldn’t see without you next me and there’s no way I can fight these emotions anymore your energy running through me like nobody else can renew me it had to be you.
Out of the blue can this be true? Family and friends were my life until I had butterflies in my tummy; I wasn’t known to have them but you gave me love that i can’t disguise, there will be times when we are apart and it will kill me everytime it happens because I know that I want you to be in my life and my heart along side the beautiful garden.
Yet no emotions can be shown during the time my whole body felt like ice as if I took on ice challenge far away from home. Needed to feel that sound that shone my way along the beach like my world that I once knew had turned to dust but I had my faith and trust. I thought I’ll be walking the world alone without anyone by my side but yet out of the blue that’s where I met you; I can’t believe that this happened so soon, there’s just no way that you chose me out of million of girls you just want to be with me and now that I can’t fight these emotions because your energy your lips and your touch running through me.
You showed me a life that I can’t see without you but I know that there will be times when we are apart but knowing that you’re  in my heart growing into a beautiful garden has come true.

Tuesday Online Diary Entries: Since you’ve been gone – Story

Here’s a thing we had started of as friends but it was cool as it was all pretend yet since you’ve been gone; I started to fall apart like I lost someone in my life that I was going to be with, you dedicated and took the time but it wasn’t long when you called me yours. Yet since you’ve been gone all I could hear is you and her when I’ve been picturing us together for years; told you how I felt about you along with the longest crush, yet all you hear is my insecurities because it’s not the first time that I can’t breathe without you.
But since you’ve been gone I still can’t breathe without you it’s not the first time; I can’t move on but thanks to you I’ve been able to take a few steps forwards and few steps back, yet since you’ve been gone I can’t get what I want and how can I put it? You put me on a high pedestal even when I fell in love with you and our stupid love so song. How come I never hear you say “I just want to be with you” I forgotten those words you use to say to me everyday. I guess you never really felt that way.
I know I had my chances and you had your chances but we blew it. Now we are fighting for our lives to be together out of sight out of mind. Shut your mouth I just can’t take it anymore because again and again we argue because we just want to be together. I just so tired of screaming inside myself because I can’t take it anymore. Since you’ve been gone I’ve just felt so alone I don’t know what to do anymore.

Monday Online Diary Entries: Tell me it’s not true – Story

On the Livingstone Village, flies were sometimes the first indication that someone had died yet as the old house, with its wildly overgrown garden was silent, secretive that the whole family had been cursed since there was a strange wailing sound coming from the next room. “Tell me it’s not true. Say it’s just a story” cried a woman’s voice who echoed within the empty shell of the house.
Standing by the empty overgrown house was an observer who was from a native american tribe; to which new everyone’s story one way or another in the village by living on the outskirts in the woods, people would nod or great them or sometimes would avoid them if there was a notice on the board by them with a warning. The news however broke out when they all heard what happened to two of the Borthwright couple who had once lived there.
So did y’ hear the story of the Borthwright couple as like each other as two new pins of which two different wombs born on the exact same day; yet how did one know would meet a Kennedy member would die, one knew what she was letting herself in for. Have you never hear how they both died never knowing that their eldest son also died; yet their three triplets were going to save the world, until the day that they died and when a mother cried my own dear family lie slain.
An did y’ never hear of the mother that was so cruel who brought the monster into the world; there’s a stone placed in her heart then trying to bring herself on to confess that she played this part, now come judge for yourselves how two mothers played this part. As one holds a newspaper with the two latest victims pictures on the front of the newspaper and one cried in the living room floor back at the house as we stood inside.
As both of their voices echoed in the winds and the walls the exact same words. The exact same day. Tell me it’s not true just say it’s just a story in a book or something on the news. Yet tell me it’s not true though it’s here before me; say it’s just a freaky dream, say it’s just a scene from an old movie that I use to watch many years ago.
Say it’s some clowns in a circus two players in the limelight to bring the curtain down. Say it’s just two who couldn’t even get their lines right; even if it’s just a show on the radio, so could turn over and start again and laugh again. Just tell me it’s not true say it’s only a dream that I dreamt all those years ago and the morning will come soon.
You didn’t mean it. Say you were pretending and it wasn’t the end of their lives. Just kill me instead save the innocent people; like in the old movies from years ago; say it’s just a dream and the morning will come soon, tell me as I am your mother that it’s not true. Just tell me as a parent that you didn’t mean it; so I can forgive you from the bottom of my heart, just tell me it was the pretend and it will all come to the end. I’ll take your pain away.
The most vivid memories of this village is how swiftly those who’ve made a pact can over look the fact that we can just get over the horrible deaths but then wish the reckoning could of been delayed. Yet a debt is a debt and must be paid. Yet do we blame the superstition for crime came to pass or could it be what we have come to know as the class of two innocent couple. Did you ever wonder hear how the triplets come orphans just at the age of three? Like each other has three new pins. Where both parents were born exact same day, one son born on another day and all three died on the self exact same day.
On the anniversary of every year there’s always a full moon shining and a joker is in the pack; the dealers dealt the cards but won’t take them back yet there’s a black stalking around in the next village, and a woman who’s so afraid that there’s no point of getting off without a price being paid. Maybe if you had your fingers crossed it would all be just a game and then no one wouldn’t have lost. Yet there was always a woman standing in the door way of the Borthwright’s house her dress was faded and her shows worn out like she was still alive but people knew who it was. Every time the anniversary came up.

Friday Online Diary Entries: Skyscraper Story

Skies are crying as I am watching in the middle of the country side catching a tear drops in my hands; only the silence had started to settle like it was never ending like we had never had a chance, do you have to make me feel like there’s nothing left of me? When I cry out in pain and your not there to save me it feels like you could take everything that I have along with break everything I like I’m made of glass or paper; go on and try to tear me down because I will be rising from the ground like a skyscraper, as the smoke clears I’m awaken and see you untangle me from you.

Would it make you feel better to watch me while I’ll bleed all my windows are broken; as I walk in our house walking on all the broken glass just go run, run, run away from this because I’m going stay right here as I watch you disappear. Yes it’s along way down but I am closer to the clouds up here.
Yet I will not make the same mistakes that you because I will not let myself because my heart has had so much misery; I will not break the way you did you tell so hard I had to learn the hard way to not let it get that far, because of you I never to far as a stray from the footpath I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt. Yet I find it hard to trust not only myself but everyone around me because of you I am so afraid. I loose my way and it’s not to long before you point it out that I can’t cry anymore as I’ve gone so cold that I’ve died inside, the way you look at me with your eyes I can see the weakness inside me.

I’m forced to fake a smile. I was forced to laugh everyday of my life as my heart can’t possibly break when it wasn’t whole to start with. You never knew I watched you die as you saw me going up into the sky; you knew that I heard you cry every night in your sleep yet I was so young, you should of known better to lean on me you just saw your paint and now I cry in the middle of the night in heaven for the same damn thing.

Because of you I wasn’t so far from the sidewalk. I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt yet I’m trying to forget everything because I don’t let anyone else in as I’m too ashamed of my life because it’s so empty. Yet because of you I am afraid.

Thursday’s Online Diary Entries: Thank god Valentines Day is over!

Thank god Valentines Day and it’s Challenge is over for another year; I hope you liked the Valentines Challenge this year give a thumbs up, and a follow if you like to see more challenges and etc throughout the year and so forth. For me Valentine’s Day for me is a waste of space I always hated it; this year I hated it even more to be honest because I wished that I stayed in bed to be honest with you, all I did was having personal problems, crying, stressed and everything else. To which to be fair could of been helped if everything went to plan if things actually happened but it didn’t.

Really don’t want to think about it to be honest. What is the point of pleasing everyone? When other people can’t be bothered to respect anyone or do anything on how they want it to be? Not even sure who actually invented it in the first place to be honest. I’m just generally having a rant because I can really on a Wednesday night writing this and hit published.

I haven’t ranted for awhile over stupid things to be honest. That’s what you get when you go to sleep at 5:30 in the morning and then everything still falls apart because of it all. At least I made lasagne from scrap with help of course and I didn’t really particularly want to do it in the first place. Yes of course it’s all good to learn and all when you have your own place and etc. Rant over because I’m starting to repeat myself and getting worked up by things that I can’t control.

Wednesday Online Diary Entries: It’s only Wednesday! (Wednesday Evening Post)

The fact that I’m that tired I can’t even remember what the Wednesday Online Diary Entries picture is; I can barely keep my eyes open to have a look properly so I decided to put Wednesday Evening Post pictures up, doesn’t matter to be honest as it’s Wednesday and it’s mid week I might as well use Wednesday Online Diary Entries under the Evening Post.

As it’s end of January 2018 I have to say I managed to keep my self going over the past month no matter how hard it was to continue fight with my personal problems throughout this month; the first time in three years this is the first time for me to start taking control of some of my personal life, than I have had previously 2 years and I wanted to share with you guys the success of having you guys keeping me going. Thank you.

This week has to be a very long but dragging I’m not even sure why it just seems longer to me for some odd reason. The fact that it’s Wednesday and nowhere nearer to Friday or nowhere near Monday; just smack bam in the middle of the week, even today has been so dreadful that I’ve been not myself. I even had force myself to get next months data sheets sorted before tomorrow to which I would of sorted them out earlier in the day if I was awake. I couldn’t even remember what the date of the month was for awhile as I started to wish the months away by writing the 8th month instead of the 2nd month.

I’m just glad that January Blues 18 is now well and truly over. Cheers everybody let’s enjoy the 28 days of February 18.

Tuesday Online Diary Entries: Just completed 6 days of 14 Days Challenge for Valentines

Exciting news guys you will definitely get 2018 new challenge coming very soon to a blog page near you. On the 1st February 2018 this week you will get a 14 Days Challenge Of Valentines with stories that I’ve created from songs that I relate to in my life. Go to speak close enough anyway. You know I write stories and I use my emotions and how I feel towards certain things.

So far today I’ve written and scheduled day 3 to 6 so I can get ahead of myself as normal; so that I can create the next batch over the next couple of days with their correct pictures to them, in which that once they are sorted I can get them up and running before day 6. Just to keep them going as a flow until the 14th February 2018 when UK celebrate Valentines Day. VOMIT! Haha

Not a fan of Valentines Day to be honest still not going into it but heyho I just don’t understand why or what’s the big deal about it to be honest. I don’t know but I’m doing the challenge for the love of my readers nothing more nothing less because you guys are the love of my life and I’m going to share it with you guys.

Monday Online Diary Entries: You Win Again

Weather you believe this or not it’s your opinion at the end of the day. In this story I will be using my emotions and feelings behind it as I know the truth.

As I sit in my window ledge looking out into the countryside I couldn’t figure why you couldn’t give me what everybody needs; but then I shouldn’t let you kick me down, when I’m already down you are always my baby until I find out that everybody knew that you’ve been using me. Yet you’ll be surprised that I let you stay around me. One day I’m going to lift your the cover and look inside your heart. We have to be on the same level before we tear this love apart.

There’s no fight that you can’t fight because this battle of love is with me. Yet you win again hurting me everytime so little time we do nothing but compete; there’s no life on earth, no other could see me get through the pain and yet again you win again. Some will never try but if anybody can we can and I’ll be following you in your dreams.

I’m going to shake you from now on. I’m going to break your defences one by one because you know how it feels to be hurt; I’m going to hit you from all sides as you lay your fortress open wide, and nobody stops this body from protecting you no more.

You better beware because I swear I’m going to be there one day when you fall; laugh at you as you will loose everything, as I lost everything because the greatest love of all is knowing how you always won but this time it’s my time to win.