Everyday Online Diary Entries – (16.7.18) Monday – What a weird day!

What up guys! Might try this out by posting this the day after it’s been done so that it’s not that stressful to put it up on the day but write it as it’s fresh in my memory on the day write it and schedule it for the next day. Obviously I’ve always put dates with my diaries as you always know. Let’s see how it all goes let’s go. 

I’m literally in pain as been so tense in my back because I’ve been so anxious about something I wish not talk about as it’s rather personal; I was up monjority of the night even with the mediation wasn’t really work too well, yet it was trying to help me as much as I can and then I was up at 5 stupid. As I like I call it “stupid o’clock” but nothing new there; however it was pretty long day for me I hate those kind of days, especially when you got a few bits to do or nothing what so ever and it drags on and on.

I had work first thing this morning so I was on the road from 6:45am to 9:15am then 45 minutes or so before leaving to go to an appointment that I’m not going into detail as it’s personal came home fed the fishes in the pond well just a bit. It was too hot for them to do much even though they live in the water haha. Had a nap after talking to my next door neighbor they do go on for hours if you let them; yet I slept for awhile to catch up on some sort of sleep that I missed the night before, I then went to work and I had this sneaky suspicion that I had just locked myself out of the house.

Did my second run of the day came back to find that one of my parents weren’t back yet; I thought this is weird also odd that no one was home yet, I looked in my bag and it was confirmed that I did lock myself out of the house. I couldn’t go and sit in the garden with the fishes until someone came home to let me in because the gate was also locked. I was like just typical the only time I actually lock myself out of the house and no one was home. 

To be fair I did forget to put my keys back in my bag but when one is tired and been so anxious all morning. You just like forget everything. So I rang up one of my parents to see where they were and they were like I got one more thing to do and they would be home in 15 minutes. The 15 minutes felt like ages and it was literally a long time until one of my other parents came home to find me sitting on the door step. They thought something was wrong but I was like “keys keys keys” never got over excited to have a set of keys to get inside the house even when you’re getting attacked by flipping ants. 

My other parent came home half an hour later after I rang them up; I was like luckily such and such came home within 15 minutes, I knew they would talk about anything to anyone it’s who they are. I fell asleep for good few hours after I did the dishwasher; had my dinner which was quite late but I think everyone was down at the pond with the fishes at the time, love the fishes so much they are so cute and adorable. 

We all went down after dinner to feed them they were even more cute and adorable as they became as one group of fish gang watching out for each other. I even filmed a few clips and turned it into a video because they were so damn cute and adorable. Even one of my parents who watched it said that I did it quite well as I made it look like you could touch the water and the way I got all of the fishes in the shot. 

It’s not that difficult I think I could of put music behind it but I think it was a bit better without it to be honest. Not sure but I love it. That was pretty much it to be honest and yes I have put my keys back into my work bag now thank you for reminding me.  Have a good day. Peace. 

Everyday Online Diary Entries – (15.7.18) Sunday – I think I need guttering!

Guttering? What’s one of those? You probably asking; then your defiantly a snowflake because you should know what it is, it’s the black thing that goes around your house to catch the rain and go down to the sewers. However I need some sort of guttering for myself because you can always tell when I’m sweating due to the fact I’m literally drenched. 

No matter what I do it doesn’t seem to work. The heat doesn’t help one bit either because it brings out everything else that’s wrong with me. Such fun. One of my parents fell for it when they tried to give me a hug one time; I didn’t have enough time to tell them that I was literally drenched of sweat, they were like eww your all wet and I replied I was about to say I’m drenched from sweat. 

One time of my grandparents touched my face and I did warn them I’m sweaty they still did it; “oh your wet” “yeah I’m sweating” we both laughed about that and then a few minutes later they touched my right arm as I showed them it was completely drenched more than the other one. They were like that’s horrible. Haha.

We finally got fishes for the pond two Butterfly Kois and 10 rainbow mixed fishes they are so cute. We’ve worked out that one of the rainbow fishes is cocky and confident exploring the whole pond. We then have one that just hid behind some pond weed didn’t want to explore as much. It was scared cat one it was so funny you can tell which ones going to do well but they will be all confident once they get use to it all. 

Well excited and happy about the fishes they are so cool and cute might get me out more now to sit down there when it’s all finished and etc. Just want to congratulate France on winning the World Cup today. 

Everyday Online Diary Entries – (14.7.18) Saturday – What’s something that offends you?

I know it’s taken me this long to write my next blog of the day; I’ve had a bit of a strange day to say the least, a few tears now and then, an argument with someone and etc. However it’s all good and pretty much a long day where I’ve been awake since about 6 but that’s because of my body clock has decided to wake up at my normal wake up call when I should be still asleep but no of course not. I don’t work weekends. 

There’s quite a lot of things that offends me but only going to talk about one of them; this is because it gets me upset, angry and annoyed that it’s not right. Okay the one thing that offend me the most is people say that people who have special needs they won’t achieve anything. 

I hate to point out that monjority of your favourite singers, artists, actors, scientists and etc have some sort of learning difficulties. You wouldn’t know about it you think they are normal but actually they make things so good due to the fact that they are so creative. 

I’m creative and everything. I hated that people wouldn’t believe in me that I could do things but however I was told that people who use to work with me at school said that I coped with school life and don’t have mental health issues or anything. Yet actually they don’t really know what’s going on in my life; I don’t even let it affect  me or show signs that I have because I have a default button of humour, that I make fun at my miss fortunes and the fact that I’ve been determined to not let it define me is the only thing that made me survive. 

What also annoys me is that people who are creative for example on YouTube who have special needs or learning difficulties are doing well; yet they get called names, bullied and etc because the people who make those types of comments are just jealous because they haven’t got anything better to do. 

That’s what annoys me the most because I use my miss fortunes for lots of things; I make jokes out of it, use my fortunes to help others because I understand a whole lot better than anyone else and most importantly it taught my parents a lot of things how to deal with it all.

Judging people because they are good at something is not nice what so ever because your bored and jealous; why don’t you go and pick up a hobby, or do something worth your while that makes you feel great and positive about yourself. Don’t you dare judge a book by its cover. 

Everyday Online Diary Entries – (13.7.18) Friday – The unluckiest day

You could say that we are the unluckiest to the President coming to UK especially on Friday 13th; to be honest no one actually cares anymore if he is or not, yes we don’t want him here and we had our fair share bad luck over the years. He is definitely not having any respect from us at all; literally saw a headline saying “Trump attacks May about Britexit” on a newspaper, does he think that’s going to impress or gain our respect us by attacking us on our own home tariff. 

Yes we don’t care about the Britexit or May but when you come to your first time visit don’t insult us to gain our respect; just need to be humble and say the right things than, not say stupid things and everything. Anyways other than that today of all days I really couldn’t be bothered to do anything. 

I had things to do well planned to do things but all I wanted to do is sleep because I was so tired and everything I just couldn’t be bothered in the end to do anything. Now I’m going to pretend that I’m not in the house for the next few hours when my parents have people round. That is my main goal for the evening having a weekend off from socialising with people that I don’t want to talk to or I don’t know. Just me, the iPad and you guys that’s all that matters. 

Everyday Online Diary Entries – (12.7.18) Thursday – The morning after feeling

The morning after when you feel like you got a massive hangover but you actually didn’t drink at all but feeling so ill from something else. Yep that’s me right there I didn’t even drink last night whilst watching football I literally ache all over right now my head hurts, my muscles hurt and everything else it’s like I’ve been so tense like I’ve forgot that I had muscles. 

Today had to be a very long one as well where instead of two runs I had to do three runs for my job morning, lunch time and afternoon. All to the same place which I don’t mind because it kept my mind busy and everything I knew the kids quite well as well. So I tried to have a bit of a nap for half an hour between the lunch time run and the main afternoon run. 

Tried to get some sort of nap when I got back from my last one but never happened because I just couldn’t switch off at all. I just hope that I can get some sort of sleep tonight somehow. Hopefully. If not I know what to do if I get bored or can’t sleep to be honest. 

Sorry that today I haven’t posted much in the way of blog posts due to being so busy and etc. I just hope that I’ll come up with some more post for tomorrow. Not even looking forward to having the house being invaded by people that I don’t even know. I hate it but I know it’s good for my parents at the end of the day but I rather be out of the house to be honest with you when it happens. That’s not going to happen is it. I might just get something from my local supermarket and run away from them all and hide away. I’m pretty much good at that in so many ways. 

I’m having a weekend off from socialising well with a load of people that I don’t know. Haha might know a few but I know that I’m going to kick off at someone because I don’t like them so best way forward is to hide away.

Everyday Online Diary Entries – (10.7.18) Tuesday – Hate waisting the day of blogging!

Today was a bit pointless to be honest with you because I literally slept in between shifts; writing a good blog but then soon realise that I couldn’t get into it as much as I wanted to, so that blog isn’t going to be finished or be posted anytime soon and so I’m just writing this instead. 

I hate when I have an idea for something I start it and then I just weren’t feeling it; normally I’m pretty much good at feeling the whole vibe of a blog post but this one blog post I’m talking about that I never finished, I literally could not get into it what so ever and I think I put myself off it because the story that was going with it was actually taking its time. 

That’s probably why it didn’t get finished in the end. Along with I need to finish of designing the rest of the challenges I think or just leave it at Day 20 not sure see how I feel after this one. I’ll finish the pictures so that I’ve got them if I need to. That’s what she says haha. 

Have to make a huge congratulations to France in making the finals in the World Cup I hope we will join you in the finals after tomorrow nights game. I do hope we win though it be nice actually because it’s something we need more off to make us great not politics saying that they are going to make it great again. It’s the people who live in the country who have actually have talent and achieve things in life that makes Britain great. 

Everyday Online Diary Entries – (9.7.18) Monday – Too much socialising!

This weekend just been 7th-8th July 2018 had been a lot of socialising from having my sibling and in law home for the weekend, fun day at a church that my parents go to, looking after a grandparent, back to the fun day, to looking after my grandparent again and then taking them to the 50th anniversary of the church. 

Then tonight I’m going to a meeting where someone asked me to help out at the church holiday club; due to the fact they need a keyworker for a child to which I don’t mind, I’m quite anxious about it because I’m pushing myself more but when it’s too much it’s too much and then I get extremely exchusted afterwards. 

Today I’ve never felt so shattered because I’ve just been so busy and today as I’ve worked as well. Just been so tired as well from that. Not in the mood for the meeting or the speed bumps, yappie/barking dogs and everything that’s just getting on my nerves. 

At least I’m having a fishing chips tonight before I go out so I can have some junk food before hand. Might have a nap before I go so I can be less grouchy, irritated and etc that’s if the gobby house hold can button it for a few hours please would be nice. 

Might try and get a few more blogs done as well ready for tomorrow. That’s what she’s said haha. You guys know me when I’m so tired I fall asleep during making the blogs or start them and don’t finish it. What am I like ay? 

Everyday Online Diary Entries – (7.7.18) Saturday – You’re not sure what your grandparent is on?

Literally on a roll with these blogs today (7.7.18) just rolling off my thumbs as I’m typing away giving you as much content as I can today. Today I’ve over slept due to the fact that I didn’t get to sleep until 2:45am in the morning and what not. Today has to be a funny one I really mean it let me explain. 

I spent an hour at a fun day then spent a few hours with an grandparent who has dementia; not sure what they are on but they are on something in fits of laugher not even sure what I do to people, I do it with the children I work with just send them into hysterics must be me or something. 

Another fun fact is that England are in the semifinals in the World Cup football is coming home; it’s coming home its coming, football is coming home. Come on  Croatia you can win this football match. To be fair I think the reason why we haven’t played Russia yet and hope not is because what’s happening at the moment in England. To be honest I hope Russia go out to be honest because I think they cheat in their games. 

Today of all days has turned out to be a positive day to be honest out in the sunshine, having a laugh with a grandparent who has dementia and just being happy and free of things today. What have you guys been up too today? Who’s proud of the youngest England team winning all of their games except one? 

Everyday Online Diary Entries – (6.7.18) Friday – Good positive motivation

After this mornings run for work and playing nursery rhymes to which I have to admit that I was literal falling asleep because of it but it’s part of a job to be honest knowing what a child likes and what not. As soon as I got back I had a bit of a nap before I did anything because I was literally so tired; along with the fact I was feeling so anxious about things and feeling sick because of my nerves to which I found that I just need to eat something before hand to steady them. 

This week had started from bad to a good week by the end due to the fact that the kids that I’ve worked with enjoyed having me on their run. They just love the fact I’m just one people who are just too relaxed along with fun side of things unless they go over board with being hyped or being rude about something or to someone. 

Having the motivation of being positive and fun about things no matter how bad things are at least you know you can do something to make you feel better when you know someone who needs it the most. It’s like saying it’s okay to feel down but it’s okay everything is going to be fine. Even if it’s a hug hugs are the best things I have been told that my hugs are the best it makes them feel good. If making the other person feel good it makes you feel good. 

Everyday Online Diary Entries – (5.7.18) Thursday – What would make me happy right now?

What would make me happy right now? Right now as we speak I could be happy be away from everything be on my own or some people who I am close too and not having to think about things that are bringing me down. Is that too much to ask? My happiness means the world to me in so many ways where I think things are going so great; then all of the sudden bad things happen to which will take me a long time to bounce back.

I know this week has slowly been a long one to be honest where I was trying so hard to fight my negativity thoughts that they nearly had me but then I bounced back as the days grew better in life. So many positive happened the past two days to which I loved the most it gave me the sense of well being that I actually am wanted.

Everyone has those days where they feel they aren’t wanted and etc. Right now I’m just happy that I’m writing to keep my mind of things; enjoy talking to people that make me happy, most importantly I know I am strong and gone through life with lots of struggles and yet I still come out on top. 

I just love the fact I am happy in so many ways that I can take my mind off things as soon as I stop at something. Even with a glitch off going into a no no land that I don’t want to be in I know I have to quickly do something before I actually convince myself not bother distracting myself. I’m quite good at that one as well convincing myself to not bother anymore with things. 

This is my Thursday Online Diary Entries thoughts of what would make me happy on a Thursday evening. Just close friends who make me happy and seeing children happy and know that they are cared for and loved.