Everyday Online Diary Entries – Tuesday (23.10.18) Buses that never came

Ever felt like dajivu like you been here before when you done something before or been somewhere before. That’s what happened to me today because I literally sat there about 45 minutes as I just missed two buses going towards the town centre but at least 3-4 buses going the long way round. 

I was like seriously I gave up in the end and went home at the end of the day. It reminded me back at the day when I was at college and I had waiting for ages for a long time for a bus and bus never turned up. To which made create a poem for it and then a old double decker bus that came which lead me to write another poem and a story that went back to Second World War. 

This lead one of my college teachers so interested and intrigued in reading it. The fact that it went back in time which linked back to his grandmother; when he found he was in hospital he had found his grandmother by his side, he had asked her about the boy he had seen. 

Not 100% where that story is for me to share it with you guys. I’m pretty sure it’s somewhere for me to retype it up and everything in order for me to post it up for you guys. 

However back then with the buses there was no stupid major traffic or anything with the lights and road works like today. Especially in my hometown where they’ve decided to take out a major lights on a major junction near me; then not put any temporary traffic lights on another major junction sets of lights causing accidents, and so on. Literally causing mayhem in my hometown all around the town and around the promoters going into the town.  

Everyday Online Diary Entries – Monday (22.10.18) – Anxiety got the better of me today.

Today was the most challenging thing I had witness and deal with. The reason is I had to face a past where I had grown attached to my budgie named “Charlie” he would do everything, fly in and out of his cage, would say “who’s a pretty boy” in his  bird cage and etc. Until one day I had to take him to the vets and he had to be put down because he was ill. Never cried so much in my life that day. 

We had to take the kittens back to the vets where we rescued them from so that they could have the snip. My sister had already thrown up just outside the place even one of the kittens knew what she was going to do; wanting to be with her because it was her anxiety, and I was just managing to cope but I couldn’t bare it as much as she did. 

Throughout the day I became increasingly frustrated, nervous, angry, fed up, wanted to go home and get the kittens to take them back home in their safe place. I knew few months ago I had a dream about them where they didn’t come back that was horrible. 

I knew it was triggered by my past. I do not want to go through that pain barrier ever again for another 20 years or so haha. Even if I have my own kids. I might be even 10 times worse with my own kids. Who knows time will tell. 

Daily Diary Entries Online – Daily Tuesdays – (4.9.18) Boring Budgeting Day!

Today I had a very long list to do due to the fact that I wasn’t needed for work to which is okay but had lots errons to do that took me all day to do. Then again thats life being an adult I do suppose; hopefully I’ll be able to get monjority of my blog preps done tomorrow (5.9.18), lots of blogs to be written for different sites that I have at the moment. 

Pretty much today I did my budget for the month, sorted out the washing pile due to the washing was on one of the sofa chairs that the kittens like, got slightly organised for work incase I was needed, cooked the dinner for the family, whilst that was happening I decided to empty the dishwasher and started to reload it. Oh don’t forget Ive fed the kittens first thing this morning. Oh another thing had to go and get something that I didn’t get on Saturday because I forgot and then one of my parents had thrown away thinking that the thing had finished. That was when my council decides to close my main entries to get to my road so I had to ring one of my parents to let them know that the main road that we go down had closed. 

That was literally from 7:15am this morning and now its nearly my bedtime doing this blog for tomorrow. So that I can get a bit of a head start of my blog work up and running. That’s if the kittens are not running riot like they have been recently getting into everything but they’ve just worked out how to open the bathroom door. Well one of them has because the other one has worked out how to open the living room door but can’t work out how to get out again afterwards.

And finally this is probably a weird but got to watch my sister break in half a treat stick as they are still kittens. They both loved it as it was something new for them to try; one of them had theirs too quickly and tried to nick their sisters but luckily the other one took hers away quickly enough before her sister could have it. As she knew my sister was trying to stop her sister in taking it from her. 

They both do love each other a lot even if they are annoying each other to their best advantage. Most siblings do though if you ask me. Me and my sister do it all the time. Oh I found out by a tweeter that a Primark bag without the handles are the best because their kitten/cat loves it. Luckily I had a big enough bag from the other day from Primark and cut the handles off. Both bubbas loved the Primark bag and how it sounds. 

Everyday Online Diary Entries – Monday – Sunday: Saturday to Wednesday blogs

I’ve decided to do a all in one of the past couple of days as nothing much really happened; well widely exciting to have in the days for me to blog about, it was just getting boring as it was same thing everyday and so I thought I’ll wait for a couple days. 

Saturday (28.7.18) was one of those days that it had pretty much seeing what the damage had done by the storm the night before; watering the plants, the green house and feeding the fish whilst my sister did the washing and dishwasher. Oh I think I was fighting with the greenhouse that day as well. I decided to watch some of my favourite YouTube videos and my sister joined me all the way through she was commentary all the way through them which made it more funny to begin with. She had watched some of her videos afterwards due to the fact that she needed something to distract her mind from it all. They were pretty scary but I’ve seen them a few times. 

Sunday (29.7.18) was pretty much another wet day so basically it was just feeding the fish, the green house, cooking me and my sister dinner and the dishwasher. Just Netflix mostly and slept downstairs because it’s one of the things that I do when I have the house to myself for a while. It’s a comfort thing I think plus it’s a big house for one person but I did have my sister and now and then my brother. 

Monday (30.7.18) was one of the days I forced myself to go out otherwise I would literally gone mad or a family member would literally come round to see if I was alright. I went out with my aunt and cousin like to Hobbycraft and Asda then back to theirs my cousin fell asleep on me at least 15 minutes towards the end of the film. I pretty much do that to most special needs kids; send them to asleep before they send me to sleep, I have that sense of ora that I make them feel alright so they relax to the point of sending them to sleep. Couldn’t even get him into my house quickly enough because of the lavender and the bees. Especially the bees. I found my keys opened the door and me and his mum stood in front of the lavender to which point I told him to get in quick. His anxiety of insects are like sky high especially at this time of year with insects. Obviously the boring stuff of watering the garden, feeding the fish and the greenhouse. Along with a relapse of not being myself and etc but I managed to tire myself out and fell asleep nearly instantly. 

Tuesday (31.7.18) was pretty much the same Netflix, feeding the fish, watering the garden and the green house. Think I put the sofa bed away by then so I slept in my own bed that night but with complete back pain, right knee pain and ankle pain. I think personally I was so tense that I set most of the problems that I had before the relapse off because of it. Had to go out for a bit with someone for a home visit so that we could get things into place for them at a holiday club. 

Wednesday (1.8.18) chilled one until about 16:00pm GMT (4:00pm) had a message to say that my parents were boarding a plane home. So I literally hovered the living room, cleaned the kitchen and wrapped up one of my parents birthday presents because it was their birthday the other day when they were away. As soon as my sister came home I told her that they were on their way home; so we quickly ran around the local small supermarket to get a few bits for one of my parents because she didn’t get anything by that stage, luckily we manage to get a few bits and pieces to which my parent loved. 

It was good to have them home though we had fish and chips; then looked at some of the photos that they took but everyone was falling asleep by the stage of half way through the photos, yet no one wanted to be rude to say but I had to say and plus one of my parents fell asleep and you could tell when they fell asleep they were snoring. 

Everyday Online Diary Entries – (27.7.18) Friday – 2 Months off rain in one afternoon

2 months of heatwaves we decided to have like 3-4 hours of downpour of rain and thunderstorms then it stopped. At least I didn’t have to water the garden and fight with the hose pipe yet I didn’t know how long we were going to get the rain for because I had to go down the garden to feed the fish. So about 16:20pm (4:30pm GMT) I thought I’m going to have to risk it and feed these fishes because I didn’t know how long the rain and etc was going to last. 

At least we had some sort of rain this week not 100% sure what tomorrow will bring but I’m just glad that I didn’t have to water the garden. It didn’t last that long to be honest but there you go. I decided to bring my Wii U downstairs because my tv doesn’t work; plus at least I can play on it when I want to along with YouTube and Netflix whilst writing my blogs, saving me playing it on my iPad or my phone not too sure why I didn’t think of it before to be honest. 

However you know when you have the best brother coming round and orders Dominos for us to have. Also chill out with each other with me and my sister we also decided to watch 99 Brooklyn never seen it before but it’s actually quite funny I’ve seen it few times when my brother has stayed over the past few days. Only briefly though but it’s all good worth watching it to be honest. 

Everyday Online Diary Entries – (25.7.18) Wednesday – Gardeners say “I find gardening relaxing. Don’t you find it relaxing” me….

After a painful night of not sleeping due to the bruises and cuts that I endured yesterday from falling into the pond yesterday. I do have to say I did fall asleep most of the day after having the whole house to myself for a change; along side talking to a old school peer that I slightly remember, after bumping into them in a supermarket that they work at and we been chatting since. To be fair I blanked school life out pretty much and apparently I only talked to them a few times when we were at school. 

I literally got a nice big bruise just come out on the side of my left leg and I think it’s going to spread even more. Stupid pond, stupid pond plant who’s idea was that to have a pond at the end of the garden. Oh wait that was me dough. Today instead of falling into the pond; I had a fight with the hose pipe, all of the things you have to fight with in the garden. You get the hose pipe in knots which should take you five minutes just to water the garden right; oh no when it comes to the hose pipe and me, it takes me 20-30 minutes to deknot it all and giving up towards the end by taking a break from it. 

My sister comes home see me down in the end of the garden I told her how I had just spent the last 20-30 minutes fighting with the stupid hose pipe. In the end I manage to get it sorted started to water the garden; played with the fish by using the hose making it look like it was raining, along with the training them to go to the side where the food would be if it was raining and they were funny. 

Then was going to water the front that’s when the hose started to play up once more and the hose pipe nosel decides to come off. I’m like what the flaming hell is going on with this hose pipe. You know when you’re not a garden person as everything seems to attack you for two days straight. You maybe thinking I’m being over dramatic here but seriously my god I’m really not a garden maker or anything it really isn’t my thing. I only doing it for my parents. I love being out in it but I wouldn’t want to get muddy or anything like that. 

Everyday Online Diary Entries – (24.7.18) Tuesday – Went swimming with the fishes

I’m laying here in so much pain right now. You wouldn’t believe what happened if I told you. I’ll explain why in a second let me explain how my day went leading up to what happened. Today was going pretty well nothing wasn’t really going wrong other than a few everyday nags here and there along with 9:30am yell from the gobby house when answering to one of the kids along with 17:00pm (roughly) when they got back but other than that it was alright.

My parents were busy doing things all day so I kept to myself most of the time from blogging prep, posting and finishing off writing up my stats that I didn’t do last week but luckily I recorded them down in a notebook with few YouTubers playing in the background. Slept for a bit I think I’ll be sleeping a bit tomorrow due to so much pain I’m in right now and I think it’s going to be a long night. 

I went to see my aunt because my mum needed to drop things off at her house plus one of my grandparents where there as well. Came back everything was still swimmingly going well until we all decided to go down to the pond at the end of my garden. I had noticed that there was a water plant that had fallen over so I thought “yeah let’s go and sort it out” not really think about what was going to happen or if I fell in the pond. 

With some success I managed to get it up standing and everything but then it fell over again this time a lot further. You may think “oh just leave it” being me and being determined and ignore everyone else I wanted to get it up right. I wasn’t holding anything as I reached for it; I managed ever so slightly to get this annoying plant, then what do I do fall into the pond. My first immediate panic reaction was the fishes and then my second panic reaction was “how bloody deep did my parent (who made it) make this pond”

Other than that I came out with bruises and cuts I’m pretty much alright to be honest. Minus being drenched from being in the pond but I was completely fine. I was more worried about the fishes than anything than myself or the stupid plants. Fortunately I didn’t have my phone in my back pocket like I normally do otherwise it would of definitely gone wrong and be bad. I managed to have it in a safe place like in doors. 

Since having a shower and washed my hair and everything. Started to relax more I started to think and most importantly digest what actually just happened that’s when I knew everything just hurt more than just the scraps that I had received. Wish me luck in trying to sleep tonight.

Everyday Online Diary Entries – (23.7.18) Monday – Chilled Monday

Pretty chilled day if you asked me for a Monday it was like 25-27 degrees in Guildford UK today. Pretty warm if you ask me everywhere is so hot you can tell when you walk out of the living room with the air con on; you leave the room to go, and do something you would literally hit with the heat. You’re like wow thanks nice to see you too man. It’s like visa when you walk into the living room with the air con on. 

I wasn’t guttering with sweat until the evening where I was sweating like mad; during the day didn’t do much other catching up paperwork for my blog website as I left it for so long, I was going to go to the town with my parents but decided not to in the end and I slept for a few hours and then sat in the cabin with my paperwork and having YouTube in the background. 

I have done a few blogs to keep you guys on your toes to read for a bit; I’ve also started to write the opening beginning properly, in which is a working process and I can’t wait to finish it and share it with you. I tend to let the stories write itself than me actually writing it and planning it. Once I have an idea I tend to let the characters in the story tell it not me; I do find it easy that way so that I can find it best that way, the only things that actually need to planning roughly is these blogs. 

Went to Tesco to get a few bits and pieces that was pretty much it to be honest with you. What a pretty much a chilled day with nothing much to do. Other than the gobby house yelling at the top of their voices at 5:00pm for no reason either at the kids or the dog. 

Everyday Online Diary Entries – (22.7.18) Sunday – Seen better days

Today been a bit better day other than one of my siblings decides to gas the whole house with eggnogs hair dye remover which stunk the whole of first floor of the house to which put me off in redoing my hair. So I didn’t really want to my hair with the smell of eggnogs lingering around to the point of me wanting to vomit of the smell. So I stayed in my room most of the time and slept I think or was it Youtube? I can’t remember been a long morning by then.

My sibling then about 2:30pm decides to gas the whole house out again with roasted chicken noodles which lingered whole of the bottom floor of the house. Vomit! It was definitely the D-day Sunday we haven’t had one of those where my sibling decides bomb shell every gross smell that they could find imaginable. To be fair we haven’t had it for a very long time but when they do it that’s when you realise how bad it can get. It’s bad enough you can still smell the eggnog smell on their head because it takes weeks to go away.

In the end decided to redhead my hair again because it really needed doing no matter how notty it is and needed cutting. I needed some sort of normality of confidence back into my life; I have forgotten about how long the process was when you’re doing it yourself, yet I still manage to do it on point that covered the roots of darkness and brightened it up a bit more.

It was pretty much a lazy day for me but I did have my grandparents round to see the fishes and they came for dinner. One of my grandparents who has dementia kept telling me smile “don’t you ever smile?” So I just do the cheeky grin or something to please them. When I told them it was time for dinner after picking two bowls and a bit of tomatoes; one of them stumbled which they nearly fell in the pond, they went to me “there’s a slope there” I replied “it’s always been there” even though they didn’t have their hearing aids in.

Don’t know what to do about that front but hey ho what can you do when they take them out for something and you don’t know. They soon confess to you that they’ve taken them out to use the phone or they haven’t put them in all day. Pretty much need a bit of telling off from me sometimes for not having them in but they put them in when I do tell them to put them in. They do get a bit sassy back when they want to be but then again you wonder where I get it from to be honest.

Everyday Online Diary Entries – (21.7.18) Saturday – Life is like a battlefield

During the night my headache really didn’t go away so I had to go and take something which is annoying. I hate talking things especially for headaches it wasn’t long that I feel back to sleep and then waking up at 7 in the morning I was like great it’s going to be one of those days is it. 

In the end had breakfast and etc then got back into bed and fell back to sleep. I know sleeping isn’t great for me right now but I can’t help it if the medication makes me drowsy. To the point of waking up and having a conversation with one of my parents about something that didn’t make me feel so great at all. You know what I did after I got up and got dressed. Fell back to sleep again but it wasn’t that long that my parents decided let’s go to the beach. 

It was alright we got to Hayling Island which isn’t so far from Portsmouth we walked along for a bit and had fish and chips. Then walked around Tesco supermarket down there to get food it wasn’t much but we managed to get it home in time. I just practically went to bed after that I was so tired I just didn’t want to be social any more because my anxiety was slight high than normal.