Yes! Success! We did guys we managed to complete the 30 Days Challenge For Autumn together with your support I wouldn’t of being able to get through it all; as you guys enjoyed reading the challenge each day showed me that it was worth doing it each day, and to not give up on a challenge like this. By the time your reading this I have given myself a few days off with the whole challenge thing before I start the Christmas Advent Calendar Blogging which is starting just under a week. So I’ll be working on that whilst doing the normal blogs for the time being as now I know what I’m doing I think. Haha well we will see won’t we guys.
I just remembered that I need to set this at the different time to Hustle and Bustle Advice of Blogging which is at 9am or around then not sure what I’ve done. It will be up anyways the both of them haha. You guys are starting to know that I’m getting weirder and weird by the minute. Yet you still come back for more.
Thank you once again for your support once again guys. Love you guys 💕
As I stand in the field standing alone in the wind and the rain wondering how we got here. We us to fly through the air with no fear but we’ve been in pain for so long; all though when I use to stare into your eyes, it would be all gone and in the distance of the rain and the wind. I could see a burning light coming towards me up the field. Until I looked properly there was a 6ft4 man in front of me; the posh voice that I once knew who never given up on me, took my hand as I held on tightly to fly through the flames. There was so many ways that I went wrong but as I’m trying to get rid of them in your eyes.
In my dreams that I’ve been having it feels like we are forty stories high as I know we are madly in love but when your around we are untouchable but when your not I’m touchable to break and that’s when we going fall. In my dreams I know we aren’t going to fall as we are safe and sound knowing we are untouchable.
It’s only real when you’re not around as I’m walking in the rain there is no sun to show me the way but only your love. I need to hear your voice to show me how to get through this. I know that love shouldn’t be so hard but sometimes I do things so stupid that I cause the dark to dawn on us; due to the fact that I do stupid things but when you show me the love and fighting for me, you light up where ever I go in through the bad patch and I never give you any credit for it.
I know that love shouldn’t be so hard but I’m sometimes I freak out way too much in the darkness; you light up my world everywhere in go, I know my heart shouldn’t beat so hard and yet I’m swimming with the sharks as you light up by blinding the sharks and getting me out of the cold. It’s only real when your not around when my candle in my head is burning out; whenever you’re gone they are waiting in the bushes ready to pounce on me, whenever it’s hurting us the most we get through it.
Once again I like to remind you that it’s your choice to believe this is true or not. It’s your opinion at the end of the day and I know what’s true or not as I’m the one writing it off course.
You can dance if you like you can sing every kind of every song but there is no reason for you to steal the show because it’s your show all along. As the orchestra plays the people are starting to take their seats; some people have been turned away as there’s no room left in this house. It’s just you and me left to take the seats in the box and if your life is your stage I’ll be watching.
I hold up a light for you and baby you can hold up for me. So I can be watching you coming through the darkness glee of the tunnel; as the light was getting higher in everything that you do, we had started to rehearse every scene and the on lookers were listening after we had realised that they were. I knew that we were in the exactly the right place; the tears had started to fall down on your face, for me to wipe away and kiss your wet lips.
You don’t have to ask me because you know it’s true; I don’t have to tell you that I love your precious heart, I, I was standing where you are now looking at you in front of me. This was where the two worlds collided and they could never tear us apart. I could tell you right now what I had said then; what I’m going to say now, we could live for a thousand years and if I hurt you I would so make wine from your tears like Jesus made water into wine to keep the party going.
I couldn’t tell you the secret until you believed me that we could fly; you believed in me as I believed in you because we all have wings, but some of us we don’t even know why we have them. I was there curled up in a ball crying in our bed as I had locked the bedroom door; as I was frightened of what you might of done to me, yet I took the key out of the lock but I heard you slumped up against the door on the other side.
Yet nothing could tear us apart but you were there realising we both had gone to far with this massive argument; I didn’t mean what I said, I know that you didn’t mean what you had said we both angry and upset. You know I didn’t mean what I said. I was patient with you and you realised that I was letting you ride it out.
You knew that I was frightened when people get angry and take out on me but I knew that I had to be patient with you. The house keeper was fetched as the butler found you asleep outside the bedroom door. Once the house keeper had arrived the butler woke you up and let you in. I didn’t even hear you come in or you to speak to the butler to get my medication or a drink as I had fallen asleep from to much crying. You laid next to me wrapping your arms around me keeping me safe and apologised over and over again.
Smothering me with light kisses which woke me up and you hurried but slowly pulling me up and you remembered how many I needed to take out of the packet. To which you gave me and told me to drink them. You helped me to lay down and you laid next me stroking my hair as you could fell my body trembling and less tense as I started to fall asleep.
The fact that blogging has been apart of my life as a writer to be able to achieve things that I wouldn’t be able to do. Becoming a blogger has given me the great opportunity to be able to write and improve my areas that needed to be worked on. Yet it’s given me the confidence to know that my work and my ideas work without the fear of being judged by people who may not like them.
This may sound a bit cliche but before I thought my work was rubbish and still do. Yet every so often throughout the day I would look on my stats and I would criticise myself for having poorly views at the time or I’ll be impressed on how many I get that’s above and beyond the previous days.
I still criticise myself just a tiny bit about the whole I could do more than that on a good day but that’s just me being stubborn. As I’ve been told quite a lot. Achieve something that I thought I wouldn’t of been able to do with Learning Difficulties such like dyslexia and language difficulties and Mental Health Issues. I’ve learnt how to adapt the whole issues that I have to face each day within my everyday life along side the most favourite hobby creative writing.
Sometimes take a risk or believe that you can do it. At the end of the day it’s your choice how you want to achieve it; just don’t hold back and let people walk all over you, otherwise you will never be able to do. Just do it.
Kindly would like to remind you that this is my opinion and you have the right to believe this or not as you have a opinion as well. I won’t judge you but please respect other people’s opinions and mine when you comment if you wish to do so. This is a Revisit of my previous look at what you made me do.
“I’m sorry you found the old lizzy in this diary. I’m sorry that I can’t come today do you know why?”
“Oh, because the old herself is dead”
I don’t like your little games anymore; as you damaged my life even more so like you can’t even tell, don’t like your titled stage because the role you made me play like the fool of someone who doesn’t know what’s going on. No I don’t like you and I don’t like your perfect crime. How you laugh when you lie to my face like the gun was mine. This isn’t cool no and I don’t like you. Yet at least I’ve got smarter and harder in the nick of time as I rose up from the dead and I’ll do it all the time over and over again.
I’ve got a list of names and yours can you see is underlined in red. I’ll be Mrs Claus I check it once and then I’ll check it twice. Oh! I don’t like your kingdom keys anymore as they had once use to be mine; you asked if I had a place to stay, yet I told you that the world moves on another day another drama and guess what but not for me as I’m going to take on the world because all I can think about is karma. I’ve got mine yet you’ll get yours as I’ve got smarter and a lot harder in the nick of time. Guess what honey I have rose up from the dead and continue to do that all that all the time. I don’t trust anybody and nobody trust me but I’ll be the actress starring in your bad dreams.
This year seems to me that it’s been quite easy to know what to get for people but then I’m not too sure. However I know what I would like to have for Christmas and birthday this year/next year to be honest normally I would get them myself but this year for once I’m going to write them down what I want and ask for them.
There are a few certain things that I want from the body shop as I really like their stuff from there that I use regularly when I have a bath or a shower and then use their body butter cream. I should really complete my Christmas/ Birthday list to be honest with you as it’s one of those things people like my family are going ask me about one day soon.
I’ve seen some of things that people may like in stores and off amazon but I’m not 100% sure if I would get them or not. Might as well make a box of something with their favourite things or something. Not so sure yet as I’m toying the idea of things in my head so I know what to get and know when the time comes. I hate Christmas shopping at the weekends because it’s just so clostaphobic I prefer to do it during the day or after work so that it’s less people to invade my space. Otherwise I may punch someone or have a panic attack.
Fun fun fun. I can’t really tell you much as some of my family read my blogs so it’s a bit hard to tell you the ideas. Who knows I might change my mind on things.
It’s not long now that November is soon leaving us in about two weeks time; I’ve decided to get things ready for Christmas Advent Calendar Blogging, here’s one of the sneaking peak of what the days picture looks like.
I thought this year would be different to the one last year so that it stays in theme with each other. This year’s content I really not sure what to cover to be honest with you; maybe a bit more Christmas themed I think, but I’m not really sure because I have no clue what yet unless you have some ideas do let me know as I have 25 Days to fill on this next challenge that I want to do.
I’ve got a fair few ideas that I want to do like, favourite Christmas Movies, what do I watch or listen to whilst wrapping up Christmas presents, do I listen to Christmas songs to get me into the mood, what is your Christmas decorations themed on this year, if you could have a hot drink all year round but only comes out around Christmas what will it be.
If you have any ideas to help me plan for the next challenge please let me know in the comments below because I want to get them in the place ready for me to write them as soon as possible for me to get them up and running.
Heart beats fast. As you watch and wait in the trenches; colours and promises of how to be brave? How can you love when you just afraid to fall? As I’m watching you standing alone in the no man’s land; all of your doubt suddenly goes away somehow, maybe your one step closer.
You have died every day just waiting to come home; as you look at the photo of your love one, in the silence and the wind had picked up you could hear in the wind. “Darling, don’t be afraid because I have loved you for more than a thousand years. I will love you for another thousand more”
Time stood still. As I watched you look at her picture every single second; I could here you whisper “I will be brave” you wouldn’t let anything be taken away from yourself, I know what’s standing in front of me with every breath and every hour that has come to this
Another day, another step closer because all along that you believed that you would find me. Time has brought you your heart as you have loved me like it has been thousand of years but I will love you for another thousand more. One step closer. One step closer. That I have died everyday waiting for you to come home; in my sleep I could hear your voice “darling, don’t be afraid I have loved you for thousands of years and I’ll love you for a thousand more. All along I believed I would find you”
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Turned the lights out in my house and the light house; in memory of you as I saw you coming, feeling the ship wreck in my mind as I opened my eyes I saw so many casualties and the wreckage. As the ground beneath my feet shock in no mans land; I heard you yelling for your life; for your king, your queen and your country. Seeing your reflection of pain from your injuries, seeing your friends, brothers, fathers, sons being killed in front of you.
You look pretty good down here; they don’t know that we’ve never been here before, I can see it in your eyes in the trenches that every bullet and swords were for us. We never learn that we’ve been here before. Just stop your crying it will be alright; the end is nearly over I’ll be home soon, just a few more bullets to get pass but it’s all too much.
It’s the sign of the times that we got to get away; we got to get away from here, I could hear your screams for your mums, your wives, girlfriends and fiancées. You got to get away from the bullets and the swords.
I see your reflection in the sands of where you laid where you have died in Dunkirk; I tried to run to the waters to stop the ships from going, nobody could hear me but it was too late they were hit. The amount of gagging that I did with my cries I couldn’t bring anything up; as I see a lot of blood in the sea, along with the lifeless bodies coming up onto the shore as I waited all day.
The waiting for the tide to come in as I hide in a boat to be lifted up by the water; half an hour turned into hours, then all of the sudden the boat became under attack. Don’t ask me if you know this is true. So I don’t have to tell you if you knew. If they got out of that boat some did and some didn’t.
You just cant hold onto water but it fills you up but it will never stay. Yet I could feel you slipping away through my fingers; like the natural disasters you have seen for days, weeks and years. As I stayed outside by the beach house; it was quiet once more, I lit a candle by the window for you to find your way home. I hope you could find you’re way home and know you can always find a place to call home up there in heaven.
I still think as I can’t help you even though I’m the near future that you made to make us feel safe and have a better life. I can feel you retreating when you took the deep wrong turn. I just wish I knew what you were thinking. My tears rising and falling for every solider who gave their lives for us. For every tear that rises and falls just like the ocean when it fills up.
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