Last Night Everyday Online Diary Entries – Monday 9th July 2018 – Hate not being able to sleep!

Kind of writing this now at night because I can’t sleep no matter how tired I am but yet I’m so anxious that I can barely sleep. I slept so much in between my shifts and meeting for something. I just can’t do any more I’m literally writing this in aid of hoping or falling a sleep soon fingers crossed that I can just fall asleep after finishing it all. 

The past three days things have been so hectic you would think that I wouldn’t be so anxious and drop of to sleep asp right? Wrong! Not with me my mind still continuing to be in that system of na I’m going to keep you up even longer man. After my runs for work I’ve slept to be able to stay awake yet still doesn’t matter how much I sleep I still want to fall asleep no matter where I am; I for one try to stay awake no matter what happens yet it never happens, even if I don’t have a nap I’m still wide awake and my anxiety still kicks in. 

I was so anxious about going to this meeting I really didn’t want to go because it’s a group thing and it was at a church as well. Only a few people knew about my condition so they were pleased that I managed to come but also knew I would be on edge. They knew I would be shattered from the last two days coming to the fun day and the 50th anniversary thing; turning up to this meeting as well so they knew I was trying even when I have had a bad few weekends, so easily for me to see I cannot be sociable for a few weeks now and rest up nice and easy. 

The whole anxiety is annoying to the point of I just want to punch its lights out right now; I know it’s impossible but right now I rather do want to so I can sleep, but at the end of the you really can’t help it and you just have to deal with it as the best you can at the end of the day……

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