Daily Challenges – Summer Challenges – Day 22 – Am I still sober?

I don’t think I’ve got any excuses for all of these goodbyes will you call me when it’s over because I’m dying inside; wake me when the shakes are gone and all of the cold sweats have disappeared, call me when it’s over and I myself will reappear. I don’t know, I don’t know, I just don’t know why I do it every, every, every time I just find it when I’m lonely. 

Sometimes I just want to cave inside because I don’t want to fight anymore even though I keep trying, trying, trying and I do try. I just want to be held because I’m lonely mum I’m so sorry that I’m not sober anymore and dad please forgive me for so many drinks that have been spilled on the floor. 

To the ones who truly never left me; we all know we’ve been down this road before, I’m so sorry I’m not sober anymore. I want to say sorry to my future love the man that I love; I’m sorry for everyone who have just watched me fall again, no matter how many tears that I’ve cried in pain and I’m only human who’s tired of being so strong and fighting it. 

All I want to do is cave in because I don’t want to fight anymore I’m so tired of being lonely. Everyone who’s been down this road before with me I’m so sorry that I’m not sober anymore. I’m sorry that I’m here again I promise I’ll get help it wasn’t my intention of falling apart. I’m so sorry to myself. 

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