Sunday Special: Save Me From Myself Story

Sitting in a church all alone just to get peace within me; I know it’s not so easy loving me because it gets complicated all the things that you got to do, everything that I do changes but you know the truth and I’m amazed by all of you’re patience with everything that I put you through. When I’m about to fall somehow you’re always waiting with your arms open to catch me; you were ready to save me from myself, myself yes you were there ready to save me from myself.

My love has been tainted by your touch because some guys who say that they would be there just show me aces; yet you have that royal flush I know it’s crazy everyday but tomorrow maybe shake you will never turn away. Don’t even ask why I’m crying because that’s when I start to crumble; you know how to keep me smiling as you know how to save me from myself, from myself yes myself you’re the one going to save me from myself.

I know it’s hard. It’s hard even when you’ve broken all my walls I’m stand there vulnerable; yet you’ve been my strength where you have been so strong to get me through all of this, don’t ask me why I love you because it’s obvious that your tenderness is what I need to make myself a better woman to my self and you are going to save me from myself. My self…

Newsletters Online: February 2018

Another month drawing to a close it’s been a very challenging month I believe with highs and lows; yet it’s only the second month in to the year got 10 months left to go but I’ve been more understanding towards myself more, even when it’s been difficult a lot of the time. In the blogging world of Lizzysweeklyblogs we have seen Valentines Challenge for the past 14 days; everybody who’s been following it have seemed to enjoy the whole concept of it all, not sure wether I should do Easter or not because I’m not sure where to begin on that front. Valentine’s Day for was a bit of a disaster for me always is for me but then again I couldn’t care less if I even tried to. I personally could of slept the day if personal things were there knowing I hated the day. Haha. All well who cares it’s over for another year and I don’t have to think about it anymore.

We’ve also seen a bit more online diary entries wether it’s been online diary entries or everyday online diary entries; everyone seems to enjoy them a lot because I only used it as an trial and error but yet everyone seems to be enjoying them with stories attached to them, like they are intrigued what the stories are about and want to read more and more everyday by coming back to see what’s new. I am glad that everyone seems to enjoy them as more as I did writing them.

Bring on March going to be another challenging month personally but I know I’ve got my lovely lot of readers and supporters to help me along the way. Let’s get this month over and done with once and for all shall we.

Online Diary Entries: Never felt unbroken story

The day that I felt like I was locked up tight to which I felt like I would never feel again; I noticed that I was stuck in some kind of love prison where they threw away the key, the terrified feeling as I stared into your eyes made me realise that it’s possible that I can loose you permanently if you didn’t get me out of here. Yet I looked into the eyes of my captures eyes feeling more terrified than ever; so I’m going to love you like I’ve never been broken in which I’m going to say it’s like never been spoke, tonight I’m letting go because I’m going to give it like it’s never been taken away from me. The thoughts have crossed my mind if I fall I know I won’t need saving because I know my true hero will come and get me.

Congratulations you played it out with the same lies with a different face; but there’s something in the words that you say to which it made it all feel so real, I’m going to love you like it’s never been spoken and tonight I’m letting go. No need for me to run a different away because you’re making me believe in everything you say. So for me there’s no need to go and hide if your going to give me every little piece of me. This is it I know it’s the real thing because I can’t explain what I’m feeling because I’m lost for words; I’m in a daze, stunned and amazed by the way you open up to me.

I then noticed someone I knew across the room you smiled at me; wow that smile I recognised from somewhere before, that’s when suddenly the wheels of old live had started to begin to turn inside of me once again and you said “hello” I felt the old glow again because I knew it was you who came to rescue me. Your touch and the feeling of your touch felt something new; nobody ever made me feel the way like you do in the gardens where no one could see us being together, it’s heavenly the way you make me feel when you use to make love to me and can you see your the one for me. I knew this was the real thing and we ran away together in your helicopter never returned.

Friday Time Recap Time: Common misconception of life

Common misconception of life can come in lots of shapes and sizes really; you think your going one way for awhile, then goes another direction for awhile and then another and so on. Believe me it happens to me quite a lot to be honest I think I had only 4 jobs in my life that I spent a fair few good years at them; then move on because at the end of the day it’s a job if you don’t like it you don’t like it, yet for me I don’t understand why people quit so quickly when they haven’t worked at one place for awhile.

Don’t even know to be honest the last job that I had; I was there for about good 4 years before I decided to leave to do something but then again I didn’t really think about it at the time, I just quit not the best way to do it but it gave me time to think what I wanted to do with my life and then that’s that. However after leaving barely had time to think about it someone I knew told me to apply for a job that they are doing; so I thought I might as well give it my best shot to be honest as I wasn’t sure I would get it, yet I was being reasonable to be honest and then all of the sudden I actually got the job after a week later. So I still had my 3 months off before I started but yet continued to going in throughout the months to do bits and pieces for the company ready for me to start for the September.

Yeah I enjoy it a lot. So currently that’s another journey I’m on at the moment but sometimes you think to yourself when your growing up I want to do this; I want to do that, and etc but yet as soon as you’ve done the work towards and the grades for it you soon turn a different direction of life that you want to do. Even you think this is actually not what I want to do to be honest; I wanted to be actress when I was a teen but then I decided not by the stage I left because I knew that my teachers didn’t believe that I can do things like that, then I went to another college after my first year at different one. Spent 3 years at another one doing sports I’ve got the qualifications for it all; I’m not even using them at the moment but it’s there if I do, I then just went into volunteering for a few months then got a job in a store. Wasn’t the best job in the world to be honest yet I was there for two years.

I had two jobs by that stage because I needed the money at the time then moved jobs in a school and still having two jobs then quit my second job in the second year in at the school. I then spent another two years at the school until I moved on. Basically I’ve been working with special needs a fair bit in the space of 7 years in that 7 years I’ve still write my heart out hoping that it will take off but that’s just in the near future I suppose.

You never know when your life will take you in the few months or years to come because at the end of the day you take each day as it comes. You never know where you going to go at the end of the day. Either you take the wrong path and stay on the wrong path or take the right path and then take the wrong path by accident then back onto the right path again. Life will just throw anything at you at the end of the day.

The Unknown Fear: The 24K Magic Prince – The Final Works

As the dream faded, she chased it, forlorn she was so tired of telling the officers who didn’t understand her that everything that found out about her was a lie. Her body was bruised, fragile and she hadn’t had anything to eat for days. She was getting sick now hoping that her big brother would come and save her now. Wished she had invited him to come with her all along now; being her she wish she didn’t want her big brother protecting her all the time, nor his security team tagging along but she only found out that one of the security personal had been following her this whole time. He tried to help her when all this happened he watched helplessly as the door closed behind her.
Across the other side of the country of Dubai an email had sprung up on the Crown Prince Sheikh Hamdan phone to which had urgent on the subject; the email address didn’t look familiar but as he opened it up that’s when he knew that it was from his long lost best friend, who he had thought been killed in a helicopter or something as he went missing himself. He read the email but he didn’t recognise the girl or remembered his friend having a sister.
Yet Hamdan could see the resemblance within her looks of beauty that she was the sister of his long best friend. The long wavy hair coming down to her shoulders, eyes shone blue, make up neatly done and a beautiful smile. Hamdan really didn’t expect her to be in trouble if she had a brother who was millionaire; he did think why the hell did she not take some of her brother’s security or have her brother come with her, those sort of questions bothered him the most to be honest. When he read more on the matter he was even more shocked that the beautiful lady in the picture suffers from anxiety, anorexia and depression since his long lost friend’s father had passed away many years ago in the helicopter crash. That’s what now made sense to Hamdan they published the wrong Robert on the news.
Hamdan got up ran to his fathers office; he knew that he shouldn’t be disturbing his father in a important meeting, but this was huge if his father didn’t step in right that instant. As he burst in his father looked over with a grey look across his face like his health was playing up but actually he looked like he had seen a ghost.
“Hamdan. Can you deal with this one please.” Asked his father like he was going to be sick at any moment.
“Yes father” exclaimed Hamdan
Hamdan managed to pull strings once he got to the prison. When all of the prison guards were frightened of the royals were brought in to solve some cases. They soon realise that they had the wrong person and that they had the daughter of the kings best friend Robert Senior Mason.
There was a load banging knock on her cell door. She wasn’t too sure if it was the knock that had woken her; there were people coming in she woke up trying to scream, thinking that she was going to get another beating from the officers but there was a familiar voice and strong scent that she remembered. “Danny” she croaked. “It’s okay I’m here along with Prince Hamdan” he soothes her as he carried her out. The sun beamed made her scrunch her eyes up which prompted Hamdan to put his spare glasses on her eyes to block the sunlight.
Once they arrived at the palace everyone rushed to their aid but soon realised that it set Melissa off thinking that she entered into another prison. Everyone backed away Danny the security guard managed to calm her down; Prince Hamdan and Danny took Melissa to the furthest chambers (bedroom) from everyone else, they made sure no one was allowed to go in unless they had permission or the doctor. The first thing that Melissa wanted to do was have a bath and have clean clothes. To which Prince Hamdan took it into his pride that he will fetch some clothes for her; more likely someone else will get them, whilst the doctor will come and attend to give her a look over.
A helping young lady who works for the royal family became her maid; she helped gently into the bath, also helped gently was her to get rid of the dirt and mud she had endured in the prison cell. Once the clothes had arrived Melissa wobbled a bit but the maid quickly but gently propped her up; they both smiled at each other like they were reassuring each other that everything was going to be fine, as they came out of the bathroom into the room Melissa looked at Danny and Prince Hamdan. Danny looks at her with a big smile on his face like “that’s the girl I know” Hamdan stood still with amazement that the girl who he had to go and save turned into a beautiful lady.
He didn’t really realise that he was being spoken to by the maid until she was up close with Melissa trying to get her on the bed. “Excuse me your highness. Miss Mason needs to rest.” She said patiently “oh of course she does. I’m sorry I’ll move at the way”
As Melissa fell asleep as you the doctor had arrived; she had to wake up again to be examined, it wasn’t before long that she was allowed to go to sleep but as Melissa was settling down again on the bed, the doctor wanted to a private word to Danny however he was hovering for a bit and looked at Melissa. The maid could sense the worry of leaving Miss Mason on her own; she touched his arm for reassurance she had spoken in english “Prince Hamdan and I will stay with Miss Mason until you sort things out with the doctor” Prince Hamdan realised what was happening when everyone was looking at him for a response.
“Yes of course and inform Mr Mason what’s happening as well. Saeed will take you to a private room to which you can involve Mr Mason as well.” Answered Hamdan
Both men left Hamdan sat in the corner of the room but near the to the bed just doing some bits and pieces; every murmur, every whimper, every little cry that Melissa made it would make him stop what he was doing and he would become anxious. He knew that she was having nightmares but he couldn’t touch her or protect her from them.
As few days passed Melissa was sitting up talking and etc. There was something not quite about the window that Melissa didn’t like; as she got out of her bed she went over pulling over a silky dressing gown by the time she got to the window she wrapped it around her, she then noticed in the distance in the sand dunes on the line a few heavy military facing the palace.
Melissa had started to have a panick attack she ran out of her room; running passed the maid, Danny and Saeed ignoring their calls after her, she got to Hamdan’s room knocking loudly with panic sound. Hamdan opened the door to which he found her standing there crying without any prompting she wrapped her arms around him. Hamdan wrapped his arms around like she had accepted him touching her.
In her sobs he could make out the words that sounded like the military is here on the outskirts on the sand dunes. He froze as he still holding her he knew she hadn’t done wrong why are they still after her. Hamdan saw Saeed and inform his father that there’s a heavy presence around the palace. Saeed knew what he meant he rushed the direction of the Kings office.
As everyone congregated into one of the special chambers if any reason the palace was under attack they would be safe in there. It felt like hours to them sitting waiting for the attack that was coming due to the fact the whole security was in there as well with the equipment keeping an eye on things.
Princess Hinda mother to Hamdan cradled Melissa knowing that she was afraid of what might come about of this; Hinda was reassuring her that Hamdan and Mohammad was sorting it out once and for all, she just need to be patient and remain calm. Hinda looked over to her husband Mohammad he had soon realised that he was also afraid; he caught his wife’s eye he knew what she was thinking, he felt the hope and bravery from her when he use to be scared when he took on the role.
She saw him put his arm around his son Hamdan and said very loudly so everyone can hear them with the most encouraging thing that he could say to everyone but making sure that Hamdan knew that they were going to do this together. There was complete silence around them Hinda smiled like she knew Hamdan needed his dad more than anything in the world. After loosing someone who he lost once before and wanted to protect his best friends sister from this horrible thing that was happening in their country to which they didn’t even know that it was happening.
All of the sudden the walls had started to shake around them; the security both Hamdan and Mohammad looked at the screens they could see more soldiers on ground but they were protecting the palace, they heard footsteps running on the roof gun shots firing, tanks appearing and then all of the sudden a familiar voices that Hamdan knew straight away.
“Hamdan…I repeat Hamdan are you there” called the first voice. Hamdan picked up the walkie talkie that he use to have when he had training in Sandhurst Army training in England. ‘Caspian…I repeat Caspian. Hamdan is here copy over” “Caspian to Hamdan. We have lowered Rob is down on the roof with lots of cover to protect you; get someone to let Rob in and he has a few people with him to cover the inside whilst he attends to his sister over”
Hamdan was thinking both Caspian and Robert Jr were on a suicide mission or something. “For god sake Hamdan do you copy” appeared another voice “yes I copy….I’ll go and let them in straight away. Just be careful Caspian Cristian. Over” Mohammad wouldn’t let Hamdan go alone he was going to go with him along with Saeed and Danny to go and them.
It wasn’t long before they had arrived back Robert came in first Melissa looked up when the doors opened; she saw her big brother coming to rescue her finally she got up from the floor, ran over to her big brother and gave him a massive big hug. Crying in his arms he whispered “it’s over. It’s over now. I promise”

Friday Online Diary Entries: Skyscraper Story

Skies are crying as I am watching in the middle of the country side catching a tear drops in my hands; only the silence had started to settle like it was never ending like we had never had a chance, do you have to make me feel like there’s nothing left of me? When I cry out in pain and your not there to save me it feels like you could take everything that I have along with break everything I like I’m made of glass or paper; go on and try to tear me down because I will be rising from the ground like a skyscraper, as the smoke clears I’m awaken and see you untangle me from you.

Would it make you feel better to watch me while I’ll bleed all my windows are broken; as I walk in our house walking on all the broken glass just go run, run, run away from this because I’m going stay right here as I watch you disappear. Yes it’s along way down but I am closer to the clouds up here.
Yet I will not make the same mistakes that you because I will not let myself because my heart has had so much misery; I will not break the way you did you tell so hard I had to learn the hard way to not let it get that far, because of you I never to far as a stray from the footpath I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt. Yet I find it hard to trust not only myself but everyone around me because of you I am so afraid. I loose my way and it’s not to long before you point it out that I can’t cry anymore as I’ve gone so cold that I’ve died inside, the way you look at me with your eyes I can see the weakness inside me.

I’m forced to fake a smile. I was forced to laugh everyday of my life as my heart can’t possibly break when it wasn’t whole to start with. You never knew I watched you die as you saw me going up into the sky; you knew that I heard you cry every night in your sleep yet I was so young, you should of known better to lean on me you just saw your paint and now I cry in the middle of the night in heaven for the same damn thing.

Because of you I wasn’t so far from the sidewalk. I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt yet I’m trying to forget everything because I don’t let anyone else in as I’m too ashamed of my life because it’s so empty. Yet because of you I am afraid.

Online Diary Entries: Love Story

My head is always under the water you watch everyone laugh seeing me drowning; you hear them tell me to breathe easy for a while but yet the breathing gets harder even I know that there’s no room for me to cope as much, yet you know I’m terrified but it’s too soon to show it and I put a fake smile and put my fake confidence on showing that I’m happy holding your hands knowing that I’m actually fine. I’m unusually hard to hold on to when I push you away.

I know when I’m sad and can’t cope I just stare blanking at the pages as they stare blank to me; there’s no easy way to say this you mean well but you make this so hard on me, yet I’m not going to write you a love story because you asked for it or because you need one and you will see that I’m not going to write a love story because you tell me it’s make or break in this I know you’re on you’re way. If you all have is leaving me standing alone not knowing what’s going on; I’ll write how I feel in this love story because you don’t seem to realise the attention between us, I chose things to ignore and be with you in supporting you in everything you do. Yet I always learn the hard way because they all say the same things you want to hear and my heavy heart sinks deep down under your pain of my mistakes that you still love me even when we are both mad at each other.

Just seeing you with her around you just makes more of an insult not to me but to your mother and the country because we get left high and dry. Yet you convinced me to please you thinking that I needed this too but I’m trying to let you hear me as I am; you promised me you’ll leave the light on to help me see you with the daylight on as my guide had gone, because I believe there’s away you can love me because I say so because I’ve walked the seven seas for you today.

Thursday’s Online Diary Entries: Thank god Valentines Day is over!

Thank god Valentines Day and it’s Challenge is over for another year; I hope you liked the Valentines Challenge this year give a thumbs up, and a follow if you like to see more challenges and etc throughout the year and so forth. For me Valentine’s Day for me is a waste of space I always hated it; this year I hated it even more to be honest because I wished that I stayed in bed to be honest with you, all I did was having personal problems, crying, stressed and everything else. To which to be fair could of been helped if everything went to plan if things actually happened but it didn’t.

Really don’t want to think about it to be honest. What is the point of pleasing everyone? When other people can’t be bothered to respect anyone or do anything on how they want it to be? Not even sure who actually invented it in the first place to be honest. I’m just generally having a rant because I can really on a Wednesday night writing this and hit published.

I haven’t ranted for awhile over stupid things to be honest. That’s what you get when you go to sleep at 5:30 in the morning and then everything still falls apart because of it all. At least I made lasagne from scrap with help of course and I didn’t really particularly want to do it in the first place. Yes of course it’s all good to learn and all when you have your own place and etc. Rant over because I’m starting to repeat myself and getting worked up by things that I can’t control.

Wednesday Evening Post: Gypsies in the Wood Story

There’s gypsies in the wood. They’ve been watching for you from far far away; they want to take your baby away because they know that things that you know, yet they’ve been calling you to follow them. Can you come out and please? Yet you don’t know that devil has your number when the gypsies draw you into the woods; he will know he’s going to find you as he’s right behind you staring through your windows, he’s creeping down the hall to your room before entering your baby’s nursery room to steal him.

Knowing that your fast asleep he left the inch of the door open; the sound of creaking floor boards woke you up seeing dark shadows walking past, that’s when you realised it’s not your partner and that was when you realised the devil had finally reached your son. The past of your own had finally crept up on you; you screamed with cries waking up your partner up with a massive shock, you both ran out of the room and headed towards the woods as you followed the dark identity carrying your child.

Yet you had lost the dark identity as he was too far gone; yet the man your with has gone mad in the town tonight because the devils got your number, yet the hubby is going to shoot somebody down tonight to the point of losing his mind tonight. There’s a mad man running round and round tonight pleading anyone to join him in this mad plan of his; yet you know the devils got your number you can feel him running right beside you screaming deep inside you.

“Mrs Lurid! Mrs Lurid!” Cried Tilly hammering Mrs Lurid’s door down to wake her up and answer the door. The lights came flooding opening the front door flung open both Mrs Lurid and Mr Lurid stood there wrapping their dressing gowns around them as Mr Lurid started to put his wellington boots on he listened to Tilly.

“Tilly Tilly calm down what’s the matter” exclaimed Mrs Lurid. Trying to understand Tilly’s emotions “he’s got a gun..Michael…Michael’s got a gun. They’ve got our son Johnston they took him up to the woods” Cried Tilly as she dropped to the wet pavement. “Oh my word. Eddie go to the town hall sound the alarm then go to the woods” he nodded and told them to stay inside and lock all the doors and windows. “And for goodness sakes Mrs Lurid don’t open the doors to anyone unless you know my signal.” As he called back after him.

There’s a mad man running round and round the woods you know that the devils got your number; you know he’s right beside you screaming deep inside you, and someone said that he’s going to be calling your number up today.

Online Diary Entries: Somewhere Only We Know

I walked across an empty land with a pen in my hand and my notebook in the other like they knew the pathway to where we needed to be. I felt the earth beneath my bare feet as I sat by the river and it made me feel complete. Oh simple thing where have you gone? I am here to talk to you because I’m getting tired of the life that I’m leading I need someone to rely on have you found someone for me as I came across a fallen tree that use to be yours; I felt like the branches where looking at me, I wrote in my notebook as I sat on your tree. Is this the place we use to love? Is this the place that I’ve been dreaming of? I can’t see your little doors anymore or the door that you made me to climb in.

Oh simple thing, where have you gone? I’m getting old and I need something to rely on. If you have a minute why don’t we go back to where you are now as we can talk about it only somewhere we know. This could be the end of everything if we don’t meet; your my peace my everything, so why don’t we go to your land through that door of yours. Somewhere only we know so that no one can find us for hours.

Let me finish your story in my notebook. I like it when you sit on my shoulder and flying around getting excited that I’m there looking over my shoulder trying to read what I have written. Oh simply thing where have you gone? Oh there you are you cleverly disguised yourselves as dandelions; you did your magic with lots of pixie dust, so no one can come in or see what’s happening around me. I’m glad that we are back into somewhere only we know.