Everyday Online Diary Entries – (27.7.18) Friday – 2 Months off rain in one afternoon

2 months of heatwaves we decided to have like 3-4 hours of downpour of rain and thunderstorms then it stopped. At least I didn’t have to water the garden and fight with the hose pipe yet I didn’t know how long we were going to get the rain for because I had to go down the garden to feed the fish. So about 16:20pm (4:30pm GMT) I thought I’m going to have to risk it and feed these fishes because I didn’t know how long the rain and etc was going to last. 

At least we had some sort of rain this week not 100% sure what tomorrow will bring but I’m just glad that I didn’t have to water the garden. It didn’t last that long to be honest but there you go. I decided to bring my Wii U downstairs because my tv doesn’t work; plus at least I can play on it when I want to along with YouTube and Netflix whilst writing my blogs, saving me playing it on my iPad or my phone not too sure why I didn’t think of it before to be honest. 

However you know when you have the best brother coming round and orders Dominos for us to have. Also chill out with each other with me and my sister we also decided to watch 99 Brooklyn never seen it before but it’s actually quite funny I’ve seen it few times when my brother has stayed over the past few days. Only briefly though but it’s all good worth watching it to be honest. 

Star Light Categories – Friday Time Recap Time – How do I respond to things that change without my say so

Everybody hates changes at some point in their lives plus it happens everyday throughout your life whatever it is. I for one had loads of changes in my life that I couldn’t control to the point of if it happens it happens. The fact that everyone I know who know me quite well enough to know how hurt I get if I open up to someone then they either abuse it or walk out for no reason what so ever and then decides to walk back into it. 

The first time I had to respond to the things that changed in my life I use to go quiet, withdrawn and take it out on the people who let me down. This was the only way I knew at the time how to respond to something like that because I had so many people do that to me I had enough of it all. 

These days where people let me down I just let them go and do what they want because at the end of the day if I explode and everything at them. I know that they will win so I just let them go off to the point of I don’t actually care; yeah I’m hurting inside, along with being angry and etc. I know people who want me to talk about it but to be honest I rather not because at the end of the day I’m the one that has to live with it and I don’t want to continually getting reminded of things. 

Yes it will effect me if I don’t talk about it and not be able to trust anyone but at the end of the day people have to earn the whole trust from me at the end of the day. It’s not like I can hand it straight over to them on the plate like they are a dog or something but trust has to work both ways. 

Everyday Online Diary Entries – (26.7.18) Thursday – The Thursday headaches when it’s been 32 degrees

In the end last night (25.7.18) I ended up doing a all nighter where I was up until 5 this morning couldn’t sleep for ages. Anxiety was ridiculous along to the point of giving up sleeping whatever I did I tried to relax not worked one single bit. I slept for at least an hour or so before I left to go out for a bit. 

I went to have a shower as you do when you have this ridiculous heatwave. Yet it still didn’t work one single bit I was literally sweating like buckets; as I was meeting up with an old school peer that I hadn’t seen in a very long time, whilst being close by in case my best friend needed me because she’s going through some tough time. 

The old school peer was like you definitely sweating like buckets after giving me a hug. I was literally drenched through it was like me saying I need guttering just walking from my house to where I was meeting them; I was like what is the point of me having a shower if that’s going to happen, it was gross to the point of me giving up having make up on. 

I don’t even know why I even bothered meeting up to be honest because he said would text me later or at some point but typical blokes who say that actually don’t do what they suppose to do. Just walk back into your life and be all relaxing and etc then it’s like they walk straight back out again. I’m not really too bothered to be honest I’m jus happy being on my own in my own company at the best of times. At least I wasn’t too far for my closest friend who needed me. 

I’ve been keeping myself busy along with catching up with some sleep as I didn’t sleep to well the night before. Done my usual water the garden had water going up in my face because the nosel came off the end and then the tap decides to make the water go around the hose and not through the hose. Yet I manage to water the garden and feed the fishes along with I’m not picking up or sorting out the pond plants that have fallen over. For once I actually listened to my parents but to be fair the garden has been giving me the run around the past couple of days. 

Star Light Categories – Throwbackthursday – Have you got a nickname? What’s the story behind it.

Today I’ve thought as I looked what to write about on a Throwbackthursday on Pinterest. Very handy for these types of things especially Star Light Categories well 5 out of the 7 days; not 4 out of the 7 days lizzy silly brain of mine it’s the heat it’s getting to me now haha. Just wait when you read my Thursday Entry  for tomorrow (27.7.18) blog post. Just gross even just thinking about it haha. 

I’ve had two nicknames that stuck for years but one of them I’m not sure where the story behind that one was. The two that I had were “Littlebit” and “Elizbetroo” so the story behind “Littlebit” I think it was down to because I was little or they just decided to use some of my letters in my name. Not sure the reason for it but everyone in the family called me it so it was stuck ever since. 

“Elizabetroo” had to be funny and cute at the same time because one of my older brothers couldn’t pronounce my name properly and he thought people were calling me it. So one day he went into school one of his teachers asked him what my name was and he told them what it was. They really weren’t sure if he got it right or not so they came out at the end of the day to double check with my parents; my parents corrected them what my actual name was, I think personally my brother of all people got fixated on Whinnie the Pooh but then again my brother is funny anyways. That has always been stuck too. 

It’s only rarely that people call me those names now but I still respond to them when they do like it’s second nature to me to be honest. My sister on the other hand has saved me on her phone as “Lizbutt” I’m not 100% sure why but heyho maybe it’s because I had already had two awesome names to begin with and they were taken haha. As she’s younger than the rest of us. 

Daily Stories – Mental Health Issues – God bless Demi Lovato

Waking up to one of the most influential musicians that I could relate to in so many ways trying to overdoes herself; I for one can understand how hard it is to remain strong for so long but sometimes you have to give into the relapse in order to bounce back again once more, I hope Demi Lovato finds the strength to carry on and fight this temptation and beat the relapse once more. 

Reading how much Demi Lovato had to endure whilst growing up, being in the spot light and many more. I personally believe she is strong enough to get through anything because she puts her mind to it and knows that she has great support network behind her with her manager, close family members and most importantly she is thankful for her fans being there through thick and thin. 

So many people suffer in silences where they are too scared to talk about it or ask for help when people ask them how they are generally people respond to “I’m fine….I’m good” but actually they are screaming inside. I don’t like talk about it especially when I’m in one of those massive relapses myself you know that I’m in one as I’m struggling to write my daily blogs. 

I find that when I do talk about it people either be surprised and try to understand, some who are closest to me know when I’m having a dip because I don’t have my sense of humour coming out and then you have people trying to say “you can’t be depressed….I’ve had far more worse things done to me than you have. I should be the one that’s depressed.”  That’s one thing I hate the most is because people are so judgemental because they don’t know your past or what has happened to you growing up. 

Yet it’s all coming out in the media now and people are talking about mental health to make people aware that it is there. From well known famous faces who suffer it, who talk about it, who go missing and turning up dead, to citizens who are do the same thing. There is so many stigma in mental health that in the past no one knew what it was but yet there is so many people fight everyday for their lives. 

I just wish Demi all the best, love, support and everything to get back on her feet once again soon as possible. Keep on fighting everyday because she knows that she is loved by so many and cared about by some many. Love you Demi! 

Everyday Online Diary Entries – (25.7.18) Wednesday – Gardeners say “I find gardening relaxing. Don’t you find it relaxing” me….

After a painful night of not sleeping due to the bruises and cuts that I endured yesterday from falling into the pond yesterday. I do have to say I did fall asleep most of the day after having the whole house to myself for a change; along side talking to a old school peer that I slightly remember, after bumping into them in a supermarket that they work at and we been chatting since. To be fair I blanked school life out pretty much and apparently I only talked to them a few times when we were at school. 

I literally got a nice big bruise just come out on the side of my left leg and I think it’s going to spread even more. Stupid pond, stupid pond plant who’s idea was that to have a pond at the end of the garden. Oh wait that was me dough. Today instead of falling into the pond; I had a fight with the hose pipe, all of the things you have to fight with in the garden. You get the hose pipe in knots which should take you five minutes just to water the garden right; oh no when it comes to the hose pipe and me, it takes me 20-30 minutes to deknot it all and giving up towards the end by taking a break from it. 

My sister comes home see me down in the end of the garden I told her how I had just spent the last 20-30 minutes fighting with the stupid hose pipe. In the end I manage to get it sorted started to water the garden; played with the fish by using the hose making it look like it was raining, along with the training them to go to the side where the food would be if it was raining and they were funny. 

Then was going to water the front that’s when the hose started to play up once more and the hose pipe nosel decides to come off. I’m like what the flaming hell is going on with this hose pipe. You know when you’re not a garden person as everything seems to attack you for two days straight. You maybe thinking I’m being over dramatic here but seriously my god I’m really not a garden maker or anything it really isn’t my thing. I only doing it for my parents. I love being out in it but I wouldn’t want to get muddy or anything like that. 

Everyday Online Diary Entries – (24.7.18) Tuesday – Went swimming with the fishes

I’m laying here in so much pain right now. You wouldn’t believe what happened if I told you. I’ll explain why in a second let me explain how my day went leading up to what happened. Today was going pretty well nothing wasn’t really going wrong other than a few everyday nags here and there along with 9:30am yell from the gobby house when answering to one of the kids along with 17:00pm (roughly) when they got back but other than that it was alright.

My parents were busy doing things all day so I kept to myself most of the time from blogging prep, posting and finishing off writing up my stats that I didn’t do last week but luckily I recorded them down in a notebook with few YouTubers playing in the background. Slept for a bit I think I’ll be sleeping a bit tomorrow due to so much pain I’m in right now and I think it’s going to be a long night. 

I went to see my aunt because my mum needed to drop things off at her house plus one of my grandparents where there as well. Came back everything was still swimmingly going well until we all decided to go down to the pond at the end of my garden. I had noticed that there was a water plant that had fallen over so I thought “yeah let’s go and sort it out” not really think about what was going to happen or if I fell in the pond. 

With some success I managed to get it up standing and everything but then it fell over again this time a lot further. You may think “oh just leave it” being me and being determined and ignore everyone else I wanted to get it up right. I wasn’t holding anything as I reached for it; I managed ever so slightly to get this annoying plant, then what do I do fall into the pond. My first immediate panic reaction was the fishes and then my second panic reaction was “how bloody deep did my parent (who made it) make this pond”

Other than that I came out with bruises and cuts I’m pretty much alright to be honest. Minus being drenched from being in the pond but I was completely fine. I was more worried about the fishes than anything than myself or the stupid plants. Fortunately I didn’t have my phone in my back pocket like I normally do otherwise it would of definitely gone wrong and be bad. I managed to have it in a safe place like in doors. 

Since having a shower and washed my hair and everything. Started to relax more I started to think and most importantly digest what actually just happened that’s when I knew everything just hurt more than just the scraps that I had received. Wish me luck in trying to sleep tonight.

Daily Stories – Daily Beauty – Redying my hair

On Sunday (22.7.18) after having my sister stunk the whole house with lots of things I decided to redye my hair because I really needed to have done. I had a another packet ready to dye my hair so I literally saved like £4.95 on my next hair dying but need to touch up my double intake on things. You guys know my system by now but yeah my system needs to come back asp I hate not having things that I use everyday or will need later on in the future. 

I’m going to write some things down for you guys on how I dye my hair and I will give you advance warning I’ve been doing it for a very long time probably 15/16 years now so I’ve got experience in doing it on my own afterwards. Yeah I missed a few places still but it actually looks nice have bit of my natural hair being part of it. You guys probably thinking “wow 15/16 years” I literally started about 12 I think of maybe 13 it was around then I started to colour it. 

It was nothing to do with peer pressure or anything I actually wanted to do it and I was so determined that I wanted to do my parents had no option but to let me do it at the time. Plus my hair was lighter colour then and I wanted to maintain that colour that I wanted at the time throughout school. The colour was blonde at the time o would get one of my parents to do it then for my prom the hair dresser at the time did it and then from then on I had different colour hair until I finally reached the longest colour I’ve had since having the blonde. Would I go to my normal hair colour again I doubt it I get bored and want to go back red again. Maybe when I’m getting really old maybe. 

Anyways let’s get cracking shall we. Whether this is your first time dying your hair or you been doing it a few times or naturally been doing it and buying the product yourself I recommend always check the products are all in there because you don’t want to get half way through and you don’t have all of the products in the box. Trust me I’ve had that happened to me before ever since then I just been checking the boxes every time I need a top up. 

If you’re doing it for the first time always make sure you have someone to help you out making sure you doing it right even for a few times. Until you feel confident in doing yourself or trusting someone else to do it for you. I pretty much since I got confident with myself in doing it I didn’t need my parent to do it for me; however I’ve also gone to salon and had it done for me but that was years head when I first started.

I only went to salon when I had a proper job that paid well and I let them go wild with my hair cut and we would go for the colour that would suit me better. However I haven’t been for a while and I need my hair cutting but that also involves money that I don’t have at the moment. 

I recommend using a old towel and old t-shirt when you’re applying the dye on your head all the time whether it’s the first time or you’ve been doing it all the time. Old towel you need to use for about a few washes or so just to make sure that the colour is truly come out that you’ve missed when you first washed it. Well put it on your head; don’t panic honestly it will all still be on your head the colour it’s just washing out the excess out, I forget about it all the time and panic then I’m like you plank it’s still looks good after you blow dry it. 

Most importantly rule ever especially in my bathroom don’t forget to take your old towel with you because you know why? You’ll be screwed when you get out of the shower and you look over to the towel rack. You see the towels and they are bloody white towels! Red hair and white towels don’t mix especially when you forget you dyed it you go for the white small towel start drying your head. Then you look at the towel and see pink/red on the towel you know your dead. 

Even with having a flipping bathroom that’s white I’ve got better in not making so much mess like I’ve murdered someone in there. Hands up right now I haven’t killed anyone. I manage to clear up some of the mess that was made and it was all fine. Once I dried my hair it was so vibrant once again I don’t do anything to my hair to be honest I just let it go naturally what I mean when it goes naturally it literally goes into a fizzy curly mode. You probably telling me or thinking that you wouldn’t be able to cope with it being all that and straighten it. To be honest I’ve tried to straighten it but it doesn’t stay straighten for long no matter what I do I just let it go like it. 

It’s taken me this long to actually like it for years I didn’t because it would go notty and etc as well but now I know how to deal with it and I like it I just let it be. I do have to put my hair extensions in when it gets really fizzy and curly to tame it but at the end of the day it always looks nice. 

Everyday Online Diary Entries – (23.7.18) Monday – Chilled Monday

Pretty chilled day if you asked me for a Monday it was like 25-27 degrees in Guildford UK today. Pretty warm if you ask me everywhere is so hot you can tell when you walk out of the living room with the air con on; you leave the room to go, and do something you would literally hit with the heat. You’re like wow thanks nice to see you too man. It’s like visa when you walk into the living room with the air con on. 

I wasn’t guttering with sweat until the evening where I was sweating like mad; during the day didn’t do much other catching up paperwork for my blog website as I left it for so long, I was going to go to the town with my parents but decided not to in the end and I slept for a few hours and then sat in the cabin with my paperwork and having YouTube in the background. 

I have done a few blogs to keep you guys on your toes to read for a bit; I’ve also started to write the opening beginning properly, in which is a working process and I can’t wait to finish it and share it with you. I tend to let the stories write itself than me actually writing it and planning it. Once I have an idea I tend to let the characters in the story tell it not me; I do find it easy that way so that I can find it best that way, the only things that actually need to planning roughly is these blogs. 

Went to Tesco to get a few bits and pieces that was pretty much it to be honest with you. What a pretty much a chilled day with nothing much to do. Other than the gobby house yelling at the top of their voices at 5:00pm for no reason either at the kids or the dog. 

Star Light Categories – Teen Lifestyle – Bonfire parties with friends?

It’s that time of year for all you guys and girls to go out have fun for six and half weeks; staying up late, staying out late, sleepovers, bonfire nights and all of the typical teen life I wish I had. I always had a dream of living by the sea side being on the beach with a group of friends until late at night; having fun, enjoying myself and etc. That’s what my dream life was as a teen back in the day many moons ago to be quite honest I didn’t have much friends back then and didn’t really want to go out as much as I want to now. 

Living in a town can be quite boring half the time because you know what’s there and you want to do something new and exciting. Want to explore other areas like going to London, Bournemouth and all those kind of places just to have fun with your mates. To be able to enjoy the sun so much that you get to enjoy of being free and safe at the same time. 

Love those days when you sit around the camp fire toasting marshmallows and eating them as they melt into your mouth. Use to do that all the time but with my family it’s good but it’s not the same doing it with your friends because at the end of the day you get to stay out late at night with your friends. 

Especially when it’s not even on a school night for six weeks and half you can practically do anything you want within reason guys. You don’t have to worry about school or exams or anything just having fun letting your hair down.