Friday Online Diary Entries: Skyscraper Story

Skies are crying as I am watching in the middle of the country side catching a tear drops in my hands; only the silence had started to settle like it was never ending like we had never had a chance, do you have to make me feel like there’s nothing left of me? When I cry out in pain and your not there to save me it feels like you could take everything that I have along with break everything I like I’m made of glass or paper; go on and try to tear me down because I will be rising from the ground like a skyscraper, as the smoke clears I’m awaken and see you untangle me from you.

Would it make you feel better to watch me while I’ll bleed all my windows are broken; as I walk in our house walking on all the broken glass just go run, run, run away from this because I’m going stay right here as I watch you disappear. Yes it’s along way down but I am closer to the clouds up here.
Yet I will not make the same mistakes that you because I will not let myself because my heart has had so much misery; I will not break the way you did you tell so hard I had to learn the hard way to not let it get that far, because of you I never to far as a stray from the footpath I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt. Yet I find it hard to trust not only myself but everyone around me because of you I am so afraid. I loose my way and it’s not to long before you point it out that I can’t cry anymore as I’ve gone so cold that I’ve died inside, the way you look at me with your eyes I can see the weakness inside me.

I’m forced to fake a smile. I was forced to laugh everyday of my life as my heart can’t possibly break when it wasn’t whole to start with. You never knew I watched you die as you saw me going up into the sky; you knew that I heard you cry every night in your sleep yet I was so young, you should of known better to lean on me you just saw your paint and now I cry in the middle of the night in heaven for the same damn thing.

Because of you I wasn’t so far from the sidewalk. I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt yet I’m trying to forget everything because I don’t let anyone else in as I’m too ashamed of my life because it’s so empty. Yet because of you I am afraid.

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