I’m not sure if it’s me or it’s just people deciding to get up into my personal space where they think it’s okay to evade it then wonder why I’m so grouchy, anxious and frustrated. I’ve noticed quite a lot over the years today of all days (25.3.18) that I’ll try and push myself to go out with the family so that I won’t let the whole anxiety take control and what not.
You know what younger siblings are like take the longest to do everything and so on. If you haven’t then come and spend the day with me then you know what it’s like to be honest I don’t remember taking that long at her age; so I decided to message her to say are you nearly ready as I’m considering not going because I’m feeling rather anxious. To which prompted to move quickly and out of her room. To be fair I think she knows that I struggle most days when it’s family outing that I do go when it comes to my anxiety because I know sometimes places get busy and when I’m in that frame of mind not a nice combo.
Today we were at a seaside town as we had to change our plans a bit because something happened personal reasons that I do not wish to discuss right now. We were about to leave a couple sort of sprint walked over to our table I barely came round to walk or to move out of the way I was sandwiched between my family and them to which I started to get into a slight panic attack and clostaphopic. I really didn’t understand why people have to do that to be honest yeah my family couldn’t do much about it at the time but other people seriously.
I was just glad to be going home after our little walk along the sea but my word the reality of every little thing had started to kick in where other people taking ages to drive, long time being in the car, the radio was being so noisy, my music wasn’t helping to calm my head down and cyclists on the roads causing more problems. I was like I’m not even at work and there’s full of idiots on the roads. That was when I knew I just wanted to get home quite quickly before I had a breakdown because I just couldn’t cope anymore with stupid people to be honest.
It probably sounds like it’s me being stupid to be honest. Normally it is me being stupid. Hahaha.