Star Light Categories – Wednesday Evening Post – Do you think crying is a sign of weakness or strength?

I hate crying to be honest I tend to think it’s a weakness because at the time it happens I’m not thinking straight and think I’m not good enough but people actually tell me it’s not a sign of weakness when your crying. It’s a sign of being so strong for so long that it’s okay to cry; it means that your turn to be looked after for once, stop caring for other people give time to for yourself. 

I literally hate people looking after me to be honest I’m too stubborn let anyone into speak about things that’s in my life I think I’m weak. It’s only because I hate it so much. Only people I open up to is my closet friends that I have because it’s easier for me to not get judged and etc. 

I think it’s a fear of being judged and etc I don’t know what it is but I am one of those people who blocked myself getting so close to people because I’ve been hurt so many people in my life that I’ve learnt to be tough on myself. Along with the fact that I’ve always been determined and risk things about things of not caring about things. I do care about things but when there’s certain things I don’t believe in then I say it how it is whether they don’t need to hear the truth or not.

Star Star Light Categories: (20.6.18) Wednesday Evening At 8 – The Strangest Things

Just want to give a massive big shout out to a lovely sales assistant in my local mini supermarket who gave me 6p as I thought I had enough money but she came to the rescue and did it for me. I think I would of given up to be honest but because she said I was a regular and that she sees me in there all the time. That’s just goes to show a Good Samaritan is out there and you don’t find nice people out there who care about other people. 

That’s given me a positive mood than what I just had few hours before where I had someone venting at me because they were so mad at someone. I could understand so much but when I wasn’t myself in the first place and I knew they would be on one about something. 

I’m just literally so tired at the moment my medication is starting to kick in a bit more now so I’m more tired than anything. Did have a splitting headache first thing this morning so I slept it off as best I could. Pushed myself to have a shower and do my hair because my hair needed to be done and it was driving me mad with itchy ness because obviously been told I have dermatitis is a type eczema that can be triggered be contact by a certain substance. 

Eczema is the name for a group of conditions that can cause the skin to become irritated and dry. Most people with contact dermatitis can expect their symptoms to improve some cases will clear up completely. Contact dermatitis cause the skin to become red, blistered, dry and cracked. 

Strange things that we have to come to face in life you either have to take on the chin or let it define you. At the end of the day you choose what you want at the end of the day. You let the strange things happen and control you or not. 

Star Light Categories: (13.6.18) Wednesday Evening Post at 8: People who need to stop talking about crap about me!

I am so surprised that people make out that I’m the bad person to be honest I’ve done nothing to them; if I have good to know if I have I would of apologise but people making up lies, stories that aren’t true and everything that makes me more mad than anything. I just don’t understand why people would spread rumours or be so uptight saying that I’ve done something to upset them.

I put it down to a number of things but if they really have got a problem with me be nice to come and talk to me not make up a load of bull crap. Trying to get people turn against me when everyone know that I work hard and fun to be with. I just get up do my job go home do what I need to do go back to work and come home.

I don’t make friends on my job if I do that’s a bonus but at the end of the day I work and do my job not making friends. I prefer that people who got problem with me just tell me not me finding out by someone. Don’t bother come and tell me what I did or the problem is then it goes to show how much people don’t have the guts to find me and talk to me about the issues. I just don’t like it who spreads rumours about me and what not that true.

Now that they’ve got on the wrong side of me because they don’t know even know it at the end of the day I like to get on with people but some people who over step the mark that’s when it’s you know you got on the wrong side of me. As I’m quite a forward person but I don’t let it out as much unless I need to…..

Wednesday Evening Post: Free Style Blog!

Hey guys here we are back again on a Wednesday. It’s the middle of the week in the United Kingdom with the heat still reaching its highest but by the evenings and the mornings it’s becoming a bit cooler now; just as I like it to be quite frankly but I don’t mind the heat as long as, I’m able to do things like my blogs and what not but when I can’t I just can’t be bothered to write them out by hand. I know I should do because I’m so use to writing my stories out by hand but when it becomes to the heat then I’m stuck. 

I’m literally forcing myself to write something right now for tonight to be able to keep my mind occupied to be quite honest with you; I was watching some of my current favourite youtubers that to help distract my mind, normally scary things like that helps chill my mind telling me that I’m being ridiculous and yet I couldn’t even watch that because I was freaking myself out. To which normally I don’t do when I’m on one those mood swings to be honest with you.

I can probably guarantee you this probably won’t go up until tomorrow morning because I’m already falling asleep to be honest. I just fancied just writing myself away like a Free Style Blog that I do now and then when I can’t think of anything but yet find something to talk about that makes sense. 

You know when you enjoy someone’s company so much that you start missing them to the point off; you think you’re pushing them away or something that you think it’s putting them off you? Yeah I get those feelings a lot but this one guy friend that’s been there for me know matter what we talk about our problems with each other and etc. 

When we meet up we are like more relaxed than anything else he notices that I’m more relaxed when he’s around like all of my demons go away knowing that he’s there to protect my head and etc going crazy…….

Wednesday Evening Post: White bathroom still white afterwards!

White bathroom is still white afterwards! Yes my hair is got its colour back. Red is back after two days of putting it off; as I should of done it Monday but was in one of those moods, but I was surprised that I haven’t got it everywhere in the bathroom like I normal do however that was a success minus it was all over my cami top just a bit mostly it was all over my head where it should be not easy where the bath is a lot lower than normal than most baths. Unless they are low and I haven’t really much payed attention to be honest.
The fact that my hair is now finally back to the redness even though the maintenance can be pain in the arse of redoing it but I’m just glad that it’s back to full strength. However it brings life and positivity to one self and say “hey your okay now.” The fact that I can just put make up on not worrying about how ugly or stupid I look or run down. You know what I mean. I love the fact that I buy double of things which means that I don’t have to worry about running out of things every so often. To which remind me I need to make a list of what I need so I can order some more when I get paid and buy some on the day as well so I know that I’ve got some on the go and some on the way.
I will make a Haul/Luxurious Wish List to share with you soon as I was going to attach it’ll here but had a moment to which I had to stop making the list. Sad times which stopped me from putting this up earlier as a normal blog but all well at least I’ve got something for my Wednesday Evening Post hehe. Which is a win win situation isn’t it.

Wednesday Evening Post: Hate not having make up on!

It’s that time of the week where I’ve started to notice how much I hate not having makeup on or having my hair extensions in everyday because I’ve been so tired, anxious and ill it really affects me to the point of hating myself looking ill and be constantly reminded that I’m not having a great week or so.
I’m just so tired that I think that I’ll do my make up and hair after I get back from my morning shift but I never do because I just want to go to sleep as I’m that tired. It’s like I don’t actually have a purpose in life. Yeah make up is my go to thing each morning and my hair; even one of my parents said to me this morning or the other day that my make up and hair looked more natural than it has been.

The fact that without make up or hair done it’s been like I’ve gone back to the times of I didn’t care about how I looked or anything. I hate that so much because I know it’s not me to be honest I know I’m battling my emotions at the moment maybe it’s because it’s nearly at the end of the term as well. I don’t know but it’s one of those things where there’s so much you can take for one person.

I just hope that I just bounce back with the whole thing and take control of myself a bit more; I just miss the whole thing of feeling great, being able to laugh and be normal self like I use to be. Slowly but surely I should be fine and fight back somehow.

Sorry if this weeks Wednesdays a bit depressing but on the positive note I’ve just managed to complete my yesterday picture that I made. Here is the final version of the picture as promised this morning that I would show you the completed version.

 

Wednesday Evening Post: Today just goes out the window!

Not even sure what actually happened today and I’m just literally blogging off my phone because I can and I haven’t prepared today’s Wednesdays Evening post. I’m not even sure what this is about but heyho. Let’s talk about how much I hate adult life of today shall we. Haha

Today one of my best friends decided to ring me at 5:15am forgetting that they are currently 4 hours ahead of me. They were like oh it’s like 9:15am so I photo screened them the time difference done it a few times today. Then half an hour later my job decides to message me to say they need me and I’m like at least I’m half awake nearly.

Then I finally got out of bed about another half an hour later. Hardly awake what so ever then out of the door by 6:45am back home at 9:30am for 4 hours. In that four hours pretty much sorted out something what my friend wanted me to do; afterwards went round my local Sainsbury’s shop and I thought I do a bit of house keeping to get two loafs of bread because someone did the dishwasher, came home had breakfast and etc. Then fell asleep the rest of the time so I can catch up some extra sleep. To which I manage to be completely awake and on caffeine for the next run of my job at 14:15pm (2:15pm) got home at about 16:30/16:30pm (4:30/4:45) to find a parent buying two more loafs of bread. To their realisation that they didn’t know I left a message or brought some already. So extra bread for me to steal in the middle of the night but not sure how long that will last until I react to it.

I thought I’ll do a bit of the house keeping and help get a few bits to get by. Yet I’m trying to get myself back on the right side of everyone but yeah. Sometimes being an adult has its good times and funny moments. Now I’m gonna chill. As you may of noticed that I’ve not even corrected any of my writing in this or anything else. It is what it is with any planning involved. Might need to remember not to do this again on my phone haha. Night people sorry for late posts for somethings. Now you know what a day I have had off the record. Also remember the actual pictures are on the iPad not on phone jeez! Someone give me a holiday please.

Wednesday Evening Post: Amazement of how much I love you guys

I just want to say thank you to everybody so far reading my blogs; I am internal grateful for continuing to come back each day, reading my stories and other blogs that are surrounding them. I’m so glad that you guys like them very muchly not sure if that’s a word but it is now haha.

The fact that you guys are giving me so much positivity of being able to continue to write; I know that 20-30 views along with 10-20 visitors isn’t a big deal to anyone but to me, I am glad that I’ve got the regular people who like to come back and read them time and time again. I’m having awesome time writing these sort of things as if I know what I meant to be writing; that’s what she said, but at the end of the day you guys are the ones that are making it happen and by that you’re getting good blogs out of it all.

I wonder if you remember earlier this week on Monday 5th January 2018 that I had launched a payment/donation page along side my Hustle and Bustle Advice of Blogging this week about it. If you can donate anything it would be grand if you are under the age of 16 please ask your parents permission to help donate the two charities that are listed in the page in the top box. I have also attached the button down below also. You’re help, kindness, generosity and thoughtful many will help others in a long run. Let’s turn this world into a positive one for who we are.

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Wednesday Evening Post: Catch Up Catch Up Post!

So sorry guys I spent the day out and never posted any blogs. I’m sorry but the internet has been dodgy because we are experiencing rather strange thing called the snow over here in the UK; it’s this sort of white stuff that floats from the sky, lays on the floor when it wants to be. Anyways. I didn’t have to work either because of the alerts of the snow and etc but few other people had too.

Apparently it my phone app says partly cloudy -4C; wrong I’m wearing about three layers of clothing, don’t even get me started on the bed covers and the throws. Have you not looked outside phone it’s snowing and most of all the clouds are most likely to burst it’s clouds. I don’t think it will carry on for much longer than this.

I told you stupid phone never listens to me it’s started again haha. Since this week of snow I’ve now picked up another cold ay ay ay. Pretty much today I’ve been out with a best mate of mine because her job had closed and for the rest of the week as well lucky sod haha mine might be if I’m lucky but then again I could get away with it. I don’t know haha.

If I haven’t posted up any blogs up the next few days don’t panic don’t panic now you know that I’m having snow blizzards and it effects EVERYTHING! So don’t panic okay you have other blogs to read about as well. Go on read my other blogs as well don’t be scared. Go on.

Wednesday Evening Post: “How do you do that!” Cried a voice

Fun fact that I’ve just created at least three in one night before today’s blogs post probably saying that by now I would of fallen a sleep writing this if I’ve finish this by the end I’ll write I haven’t fallen asleep on this one for tonight’s post. The fact is that I am on a role right now for blogging so no time to sleep even though I’ve got work and etc but right now I don’t care.
“So how do I do that when I write emotional stories and publish it afterwards?” “Like Lizzysweeklyblogs have you seen her blog posts recently?” To be honest I struggle at the best of times if you ask me oh wait you did. Ha. Well to be honest music and just typing in first liners generators so that I can get some idea of what I can feed off the lines of them. Meaning to get a story out of the lines as I mostly get a good story out them; yet with some of the songs you can just bulk out the lines in a story cut some of the lines out that you don’t want, put in what you want use your emotions and feelings inside you onto the paper or screen.
The arts of writing is that everyone has a story to tell; everyone has a voice, everyone has a life, everyone has experiences and it depends on how they want to show it to the world. I for one can’t keep a diary I’ve tried but never works out for me in the slightest but I transfer it all into a story to where I get the characters tell the story of how they feel, what’s happening and etc. I genuinely feel better about it because it just gets my anger, helplessness, and most importantly helps clears my mind also.
So you could say story writing for me is like my journal or diary of how I am feeling on the day. Yet I’m sharing it with the characters who aren’t real and I don’t have to talk about it to anyone else who is real. It’s all there in the story. You just have to be patient with the whole system to be honest and most importantly find your own style of writing at the end of the day.
It took me all day to write Tuesday’s online blog (20.2.18) until I had the realisation of how anger and hurt I was feeling. Then this song that I haven’t heard in a very long time came into my head then it was like the past week I was like yeah I don’t know what to do since you’ve been gone never felt so alone. I had work it out how I was going to write it with that sort of line of words because I still loved them no matter what was going on in my head.
Story writing for me is a work of art once you’ve got something to write about write about it because at the end of the day the characters are the one telling the story and so are you but via them. That’s how I see it you. It’s like directors working with actors on a film set; for me it’s me working with characters so they can understand me and I can understand them, it’s quite cleaver how it all works once you know what your doing. Sometime I don’t even know what I’m doing most of the time.
Yep that’s me done for a Wednesday Evening Post this week and I haven’t stopped half way through last night. So that’s a bonus which I normally do because I get distracted quite easily; no I’m not what you think it is can’t remember the letter for it, I think it’s ADHD or something close to that, it’s just me with a few other things. Good night peeps.