Going inside with 13 reasons why a Netflix tv program.
This would of been Friday Time Recap Time! Blog last week Friday 8th September 2017 but never got round to finishing it so I decided to move it along a bit. Since completing on 13 Reasons Why on a tv program on Netflix; it’s has hit home a lot, especially with me personally where a girl called Hannah Baker struggled to open up but fear of being judged and making out that she’s a lie etc. Cyber bullying isn’t okay no matter if it’s at school and continuing still out of school just behind the computer screen.
There are so many ways of people who could get build and it just goes unnoticed from being at home; clubs, school and especially social media. Just out one tiny little detail that blows out proportion; remember my recent Dairy Entry for Haters, Social Media, Press and Exs – look what you made me do? No matter how much I tried to get away from the horrible things like people say “oh how cute do they look?” And so on on or the whole thing that people spread rumours that aren’t even true, or things set you off and feel like that you can’t move on.
To be honest I’ve been off Instagram, Facebook and Twitter for a good while now as I don’t have the apps on my phone or tablets but the best thing is it’s taken off a whole lot of pressure off me. Not having to worry or be insecure about myself. One thing I do have to say is that everyone has a story but they just take it out on one person and one person alone.
Some it gets too much and when the victims ask for help but they have the fear of being judged; yet that one person may not even take them seriously enough, or even try and stop them. It’s a complete warning signs to everyone have been missed. It’s like saying where did it go wrong?
Yet I’ve noticed personally if I try and talk I get shut down quite easily when there’s other things as well not just the one thing. Then it’s a lot harder to talk about things when people say it’s always the one thing. It’s like I explain it to one of my closes friends the other day and they can see entirely where I’m coming from. They quickly apologies for making me open up to them when they realised that they open a can of worms. To be honest I don’t blame them to be honest.
That’s basically what the 13 Reasons Why story is about; where one individual can’t talk about what is going on in their lives but then you have the one person who can control all of them, until someone does something but then two people come and try to get their voices to be heard.
All I’m saying is if your a parent or a teacher or a councillor or in that area I recommend you watch 13 Reasons Why to understand what any child is going through. See if you pick up anything that you may of missed.
I never liked school in the first place myself; then worked at a school for 4 years, why did you work in a school if you don’t like school? You might think that’s a bit weird and stupid.
I never liked school in the first place myself; then worked at a school for 4 years, why did you work in a school if you don’t like school? You might think that’s a bit weird and stupid.
The fact I worked in a school for four years it doesn’t mean I still like it but it means I wanted to do something for my life; yeah I hate the worst feeling ever when every new academic new year, new term and etc I still don’t want to go back. I’m dreading my new job to be honest; I’m not looking forward to it what so ever because it’s new, and a huge responsibility as well.
School phobia, school avoidance and school refusal can only be as described as an anxiety disorder that you will find in monjority of the children these days. This involved who might have an irrational or persistent fear of going to school. Each child’s behavior is different from any other child; there are children whom more likely to have a truant and express no apprehension about missing school, which that children who have tactical school avoidance want to be in close contact with their parent or caregiver, whereas truants do not. You may find school phobic children are often insecure, sensitive, and do not know how to cope with their emotions; to which appear anxious and may become physically ill at the thought of attending school, for example putting their head down the toilet and throwing up.
A typical type of separation anxiety normally occurs between 18 to 24 months; when parents start to leave them for awhile or dropping them of at nursery or a carer, at this age may cling, cry and/or have temper tantrums. However, there are older children who continue to have difficulty being away from home; due to the fact their parents are often attentive, loving and maybe over protective. This can become a result in some of the students of whom lack self-confidence and the ability to cope with school life. Any child who may show a higher risk for school phobia where they may not have no siblings to look out for them, maybe the youngest and all of their siblings have left school and etc as they are a lot older. Maybe perhaps they have a sibling who is chronically ill.
“Most children object to going to school at one time or another. However, a school phobic child often misses many days for vague reasons. Parents should be concerned if their child appears irrationally anxious, depressed, scared, and/or regularly says that he or she feels too sick to attend class.
Symptoms of school phobia are:
• Frequent stomachaches and other physical complaints such as nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, exhaustion, or headaches that cannot be attributed to a physical ailment.
• Clinginess, tantrums, and/or panic when required to separate from a parent or caregiver.
• Fear of the dark or being in a room alone.
• Trouble going to sleep and/or having nightmares.
• Exaggerated fears of animals, monsters, school, etc.” For more information http://www.kellybear.com/TeacherArticles/TeacherTip51.html the link is there.
I don’t remember much of school to be honest if I can help it; I try to forget it if you ask me, I hated school with a passion for lots of things. Then again I would make excuses to either go home or when I’m at home I say I don’t feel right or I have a genuine excuse of I have an hospital appointment so I won’t be in. To the fact that hospital appointments where monjority of my reasons of not going to school because of my ears as I was always constantly having operations or appointments one way or another. That’s when I was growing up at the time. I used my hormones and etc as an excuse to go home during secondary time; first year hardly been at the school, part of that got burnt down and every year since I wished it snowed or hot day or someone burned it down again. By the way I didn’t burn it down. Was funny when one of my brothers said that the school is on fire; as both of them were there at the same time as me when I started, I was like wicked and said well I won’t be going to school then.
What struck me was that I’m one out of four and not even one of us like school. For very different reasons; not sure if it’s because of we had different problems at the time, when we growing up with health issues one way or another and we ended up staying at home for long period of time.
“I wrote ‘Fight Song’ as this declaration to believe in myself, and that is similar to what you are taught to believe in Girl Scouts. Building confidence. Building character. And above all else, being there for each other as a community. Rachel Platten”
Throughout my life confidence issues have always been the big issue for me as long as I can remember; yeah I’m confident with my friends, through believing in social media and etc but you always get those who do not understand how long you got yourself there by believing in yourself. You always find that as you start to build your confidence up when you have lost it for sometime; you start to feel it rising within you; thinking that your are going to get far in life because you have the belief in you that you never had, but yet you have that one person who knows which pin to pull it out from and your like so mad, upset and that you just want to give up on yourself. Like your not worth it anymore.
Yep that’s basically my life all the way through; I always believe in the positives when they mean something to me personally, I prefer to share them to people on social media because everyone needs positivity everyday and they need that encouragement to start the day read it along with going back to the post read it again if they feel a bit low.
Enough positivity can destroy the negativity but if you let negativity destroy positivity then what can you do. Listen to the negativity which will destroy your positivity of your confidence that you have made.
What causes low self-esteem?
The beliefs you have about yourself often appear to be statements of fact, although actually they’re really only opinions. They are based on the experiences you’ve had in life, and the messages that these experiences have given you about the kind of person you are. If your experiences have been negative, your beliefs about yourself are likely to be negative too.
Crucial experiences that help to form our beliefs about ourselves often (although not always) occur early in life. What you saw, heard and experienced in childhood – in your family, in the wider community and at school – will have influenced the way you see yourself. Examples of early experiences that could lead to your thinking badly of yourself include:
• systematic punishment, neglect or abuse
• failing to meet parental standards
• failing to meet peer-group standards
• being on the receiving end of other people’s stress or distress.
• belonging to a family or social group that other people are prejudiced towards
• an absence of praise, warmth, affection or interest
• being the odd one out, at home or at school.
Sometimes negative beliefs about yourself are caused by experiences later in life, such as workplace bullying or intimidation, abusive relationships, persistent stress or hardship, or traumatic events.
I always find that some songs that I like listening to help me a lot out by fighting back; there’s so many to chose from I wouldn’t be able to name a few to share with you, if you follow me on Instagram @lizzysweeklyblogsgoodmorning you’ll get random, fun, quotes and random songs attached to the picture of the day.
I always find things that are being positive so that it helps me out throughout the day; but along with sharing the positivity for others to feel proud, and positive towards themselves and make sure that they love themselves.
The questionable thing for teens in this generation is outside what's that? But when I was young I was outside all the time not having to worry about anything.
When we were young the world seemed so old; however now the world is careless and cold, we did what we did years ago and now the generation do what they are told in this life. From 2010 backwards we had the world by our tail; that's when the good would prevail, along with the starships that would set sail and none of us would fail in this life.
Since 2010 onwards things have changed. Things shouldn't of happened not when you're young; we had drawn to whoever that would keep us together, along with the binding by the heavens above and now we have to survive the traveling at the speed of light and love.
When we were young; we adored the fabulous life of freedom of everything when we were young, we got to be the foolish and fearless of not knowing the cost of what we had to pay by letting someone else be strong. That was because we were young.
In the moment of grace; there was a long leap of faith of keeping everyone safe, but when we are young now there's always still going to be more glory stored away. This generation says this is our life; and all the bad things that are happening the government seem to be burning the bridges that we cross over, all we want to see is the firelight and we are the innocent that are getting over the old times. But yet we are young where everything seemed to be what we dreamed everyday; never knowing the cost of what we just paid for the lives, yet we are letting someone else be strong.
When we are young we start to look at ourselves and your will start to look at someone else to find that you recognise you can see yourself. Which makes you wonder when you had taken back what you've been given away but it must of been the last time you had your freedom.
This week I want to con-bind Teenagers Life Crisis with this The Unknown Fear Category; because I believe teens can relate to this in so many ways, that no one understands unless they have been throw it themselves.
I find myself at the current stage in life but always will because that's who I am unless I turn my mind set and beat the beast that’s controlling me inside my mind. Each day I try and take a photo of myself as I see who I really am inside and out; as you can see in the four pictures, I actually like who I am, how I do things and how truly pretty that I really am. The fact that I capture it and post it through social media it has given me the confidence of taking pictures of who I am; I'm in control of the camera no one else is, I wouldn't take a photo of myself if I have an really bad off day and put it up. No way I'll be doing that I can tell you that right now. That's how insecure I am about it all. This is my little tale of how my beauty and beast is like in my life; my story, my life of all the issues that I have within myself.
Tale as old as time can this be true as it can be; as I'm barely even friends with the beast inside me, them somebody bends the unexpectedly and a little change some say at least but both a little scared of loosing each other. Neither one is prepared to give up on each other but that's what I call as beauty and the beast battling her out.
Ever just the same but always a surprise like it was once before; just to be sure when the that will rise, the same old tale at this time is played in the same old tune in the distances like a distance memory. Bittersweet and strange like I'm finding that I can change; when I learn that I was wrong at the time I don't want to listen to what other people are saying,
There's always the certain sun that will always come out; making me feel better about myself like I'm confident in myself that's what the beauty of it when the sun is in the east, but there is the other certain sun that doesn't come out and it rains then the beast will rise in the east.
Our take is now as old as time along with the song that has as old as the rhyme; but I call it pour beauty that takes over winning over the beast, even when it's the hard times beauty and the beast always battle it out no matter what happens. That's why I call it the beauty and the beast.
Teenagers who want to communicate but they can’t because they feel the fear of being judged, get criticism and etc from their parents.
To be able to communicate is to have the ability to connect when it really matters; even when it is often based on the ability to connect, even it doesn’t you have to build the positive of the relationships between a parent and a teen at the time. Even where there is sorting out any communication difficulties in the way of it but there are importance of big talks about significant topics with the teen who may feel embarrassed about talking to their parents about it.
Channeling the communication to be open between the parent and a teen; is that teenagers may need their parents guidance and boundaries that they may draw and hold. This may have the impact of to be a tactical for any parents or teenagers to get this across on both sides.
Be assertive of your authority may need to be different; when dealing with authority it has to be averse teen, rather than an automatic respectful child. Teens still need to know that you are still interested, still care, on their side and watch. Even if you always don’t agree with them; you need to have the skills and the emotional resilience to go on offering help; even if the face is showing or behind the glass of indifference and opposition.
However getting locked into unhelpful ways of communicating with bickering, nagging, criticism that we all have at times with our parents and teens. Even though we tried to hard to avoid relating to them in every day life; it would either make it easier or just make it, plan lot harder to sort out the key issues.
Reduce the amount of indifference and the opposition between you and your teenager; is by improving your skills, every teen is different to the previous child. Not all teenagers are going to be the same; or the same as you when you were there age. Teens often behave in aways which that it will come difficult for you as parents to give them what they need the most. You as a parent cannot change your teen; but you can change what you do in life and how you behave differently, even if its comes to the point of matching the results in the other person. In which matching you and alternate their behaviour in themselves.
If you need a pet talking lessons or words to help start with the lines of communication open with your teenager, what should you be doing? That’s if you as a parent can help it in away of saying horrible or a criticism way. Why not look in ways of opportunities to talk off-message; like what interests they like doing, or ask if they can join or ask them if they want to come with you as a parent.
Such like use ‘I’ messages, use open question, share something of yourself, treat the young person as an equal, practise what you preach, listen without judgement or criticism, appreciate them for their positive qualities, give unconditional love but hold strong boundaries over behaviour, give frequent ‘strokes’ as my mum puts it licks like a cat by stroking my arm and yes I did roll my eyes at that one, include the young person in family activities but give them the choice to opt out, understand and take action only when asked for help
For more info click on this link right here 👉🏻 👇🏻http://www.familylives.org.uk/advice/teenagers/communicating-with-teenagers/the-importance-of-communicating-with-teenagers/ enjoying my emojis and hyper links why too much these days. This is where I found my research; I let you in a little secret, I was reading/doing this when one of my parents were talking to me giving me a lecture about something. Believe me I try and avoid everything as much as possible and I’m 26 years old currently. By the time in the few years time I’ll be a lot older than this blog haha.
Just coming back to the revisit of Gender Identity that I have writing couple of weeks ago or just attached it for Vocal Media. I have amazing feedback from people who I have asked and they have commented. I do like to advise that please respect other’s comments about their thoughts and people who are brave enough to come out to talk to me about their experiences.
The fact that I wanted to revisit this article that I had written; we because there are so many young people out there, who are afraid to come out. This is either afraid of being judged, know how strongly about one or both parents feel, or they know in the past that there have been laws about it. I will most likely to re-re-visit in a few months or so if people would like me to come back to this topic.
The comments so far that I have received so far from people that I have asked around. Please remember respect the people’s opinions and how they see it. One person called Lee has offered to answer any questions if anyone is struggling to come out; or ask for advice, if you have any please contact me through firstname.lastname@example.org this is where you can ask your questions and I’ll email them over to him. I will do visa with the response that he has given. Due to protection and policies and etc. If you like to remain anonymous please inform me as I email I will leave anonymous against your question or comments.
“Can’t say I wasn’t shocked but I’m fine with it. It’s her life not mine lol (smiles)’ ‘She is what she is at the end of the day. She still my beautiful Sammi’ by Sarah her daughter is Bisexual
“Yes always been straight hun. Been involved in a lot of sexual action with men and women both; there are some more than other in different situations, but never been attracted to male. Only female.” “I can appreciate a good body looking or body buy not want to kiss it or sleep with it. Have no problem being naked with other men though” By Gareth who is straight
“Why not…they are allowed to get opinions from anybody” “so they could know the advantage and disadvantage of that”. “‘No’ its not a sin to the Muslim faith’ By anonymous on religious backgrounds side of things
“My parents were absolutely fantastic when I told them. I introduced them to my boyfriend whilst I was at university and never expressed any problem with it all. I had known that I was gay since Secondary School (UK meaning); maybe towards the end of college, and told my friends. None of them seemed surprised and all accepted to was normal with no fuss. There wasn’t a clear point at which I knew I was gay but to realise that I had much stronger feelings and attractions towards male models. I did briefly wonder if I was bisexual but I understood quickly that I didn’t have romantic feelings for people of the opposite sex. I have had any negative reactions thankfully. I’m happy any questions but I hope this helps” By Lee who’s gay.
“1) How did you know you were gay, lesbian, trans or straight
In high school around mid teens bisexual
2) How did you feel in telling your parents?
Worried not to sure how to go about it never told my dad and mum told me i was going through a phase
3) How did you feel in telling your friends or your close friends?
Friends no problem understood
4) Have you told anyone about your sexuality or you still keeping it a secret?
Well friends know im bi but do keep it behind closed doors, my hubby doesnt like it and never has done. But i know that me and hubby are ment to be, sole mates so doesnt really bother me but i know its still there.”
5) What is the best advice for the young generation of today?
Be yourself, you are who you are and you only live once so if you want to have experience go for it and if its not for you, its not for you x ” Anonymous who’s Bi
The action or practice of humiliating someone by making mocking or critical comments about their body shape or size.
‘Body Image’ Someone perceives their body and assumes that others may perceive them. This image can also affected by family, friends, social pressure and the media. People who are unhappy with the bodies; this is because they don’t seek healthy nutrition information may develop lots of different eating disorders, meaning that ‘Eating disorders’ are unhealthy relationships with food that may include fasting, constant dieting, or binging and purging.
Body image is closely linked to self-esteem; meaning low self-esteem in adolescents can lead to eating disorders, early sexual activity, substance use and suicidal thoughts. This is where you can post encouraging notes in your school bathrooms to be able to brighten your classmates day.
Approximately of the women 91% women are unhappy with their bodies and resort to dieting to be achieve their ideal body shape. However unfortunately only 5% of the women who naturally possess the body type often portrayed but the Americans in the media.
58% of the college – aged girls feel that they are being pressured to be a certain weight; this is because of other girls that they see in magazines, idols and other girls in their year pressure them to be in that weight or think that they should be that weight but yet it confuses them of who they are and their true identity. The studies shows that there the more reality of television young girls watched the more likely is to be able to find appearance that are important to them.
However there are 1/3 of the people who admit that they have ‘normal dieting’ who merge the pathological dieting. To which you will find 1/4 who those will suffer from a partial or full on eating disorder. A survey had showing that 40% of women and about 20% have agreed in which they would consider the cosmetic surgery in the future; which the statistics have remained the relatively that are constant, that’s across the gender, age, martial status, and race.
Students; especially girls who consume more mainstream media, place the greater importance on the sexiness and the overall appearance than who do not consume as too much. This is where I have mentioned it roughly in the previous paragraph about the students at college.
The fact that 95% of people eating disorders are between the ages of 12 to 25; which only 10% of the people, who are suffering from an eating disorder will only seek the professional help.
In other research that I have read and what has brought to my attention is that 90% of teens unhappy with body shape; nine of ten the British teenage girls who are unhappy with their bodies, are within their mother’s who seem to appear to be responsible to which passes on their own insecurities.
Out of the 2,000 girls who were questioned for a poll that was given to them; at the time it was set towards them at the time, only 8% who had said that they were ‘happy’ with their appearance. Meanwhile the 87% say that they were ‘unhappy’ about their appearance. According to the teen Magazine survey for Bliss; those who had said that were unhappy about their appearance, was due to the thoughts of their own mothers had some what ‘insecure about their own body image’. This can be because they could over hear what they mothers talking to their female friends or partners and etc; to which makes the 90% of the teens say that they are unhappy about their bodies, and think that their mothers are talking about them or they don’t want to end up like their mothers.
Whilst there are 19% of the teenage girls who were questioned about being over weight; when actually 67% thought they needed to loose weight, this shows that just 64% of these girls are under 13 have already been on a diet from a very young age.
The research that I had disclosed that there are some worrying facts that there are long lengths of young girls; would go on their quests for a beauty bodies, because they can’t seek for help or have the confidence to ask for help or talk about it until it is too late. A quarter of 14 year olds (26%) have said to the researchers who have done the polls and etc. Have actually considered having the plastic surgery or even taking the diet pills; which have rising within those who were overweight to 42%, which you may find within the teens that almost fifth (19%) have told the researchers that they were already suffering from eating disorder such like anorexia or bulimia.
I am currently in my late 20’s now; just slowly coming out of depression and anxiety once again, I would be insecure about my body the way I look and etc. Throughout my teens and etc; I would show that I wouldn’t care but actually I really did care about what I looked like, how I would dress and what not. I would compare myself to other people; I wish I was pretty, I wish I didn’t put so much weight on and etc. When I was in my mental state of mind I would just bing eat; whatever money I had I would go and get family packs of crips, chocolate and fizzy drinks or even just sleep my days away. Part of my mental health was because I didn’t like myself or who I was.
I do have lots of positive about myself when I make the effort of making myself look really nice; look pretty, looking stunning and I take pictures when I do to post them on Instagram. I either caption them or just leave them on how it is; because I have no words to describe them, but I know that I have caught a really good and positive photo of myself at the time I had taken it.
I am slowly getting the chance of getting to know myself; feeling the confidence that I need to know that it’s okay to have a bit of weight, I know when I do my make up and looking nice that I know its the real me. Even when I don’t feel like it and feel bad about myself; I try my hardest to be able to look presentable as much as I can, even if I’m not going anywhere special.
Wanting to do something good with your life; there’s lots of things that you could do in your spare time, loads of official charities out there that you can help.
The worst feeling is that your not 100 percent sure in what you want to do with your life; better still your waiting for prince or princess charming to come and get you, so that you don’t have to go to work or do anything. Have that luxury life that everyone else has; think about the children, the poor, the needy and the helpless. You may have a home to go to; family that care for you, still have loads of opportunities to give a try. What do the people who are in need have? Think about it whilst your reading this.
Over the years I have helped with charities such like Children In Need a well known charity in England; my local charity called Challengers, and last but least a special needs school who has become academy trust within a year called Pond Meadow which is a local school in my hometown. When I was growing up I had lots of big aspirations; meaning there was lots of things that I wanted to do, but no one really believed in me.
Well the teachers at school because I was in the bottom two sets; so they didn’t really care much about me and my grades, however since I’ve left school I still didn’t know what I wanted to do. First college didn’t really believe in me either; so I gave up trying my hardest to do that course, that was when I went to another college and that college helped me to turn my life around.
They helped me to believe in myself; along side them believe in me, I managed to work hard to get good grades, help me to focus on my creativity. You’re probably thinking why has this got anything to do with charities and helping people. I can tell you right now; it has everything to do with charities because if I believed in myself to do things when no one else would, I wouldn’t be doing what I am doing now.
Working with special needs children I provided them hope, encourage them, do things that they thought it would be impossible to do. They were being giving the life that everyone else had; believe me the things that I have witnessed, helped and made them do lots of progress. It made their day and your day one hundred percent good one even if there was things that couldn’t be helped.
All I am saying is that if your struggling to know what you wanting to do in life after school or college; why not become a volunteer or a place that you become a paid volunteer, to gain some work experience and also give you some sort of direction in where you want to go in life.
Here are some few ideas you may want to check out:
- Local Charities
- Children in Need
- Sports Relief
- Comic Relief/Red Nose Day
- National Trust
- English Heritage
- Helping children in Africa
Remember me talking about my best friend Caspian; well he had asked me to help with one of his charities, to which I manage to scrape some money together out of my own pocket. Sent it to a country in Africa called Nigeria; I had received some photos, from the person who was on Caspian’s team through him of course and in the pictures they had shown me what they had received. I do have to say is that I am so pleased that they have got something that they truly enjoy the most. To also have a childhood that like everyone else.
Do something to make will make yourself proud and seeing other people smile as they are being heard and listen to. Its that feeling of great sense of feeling to have when you have made someone’s day.