Sunday Post I should of been away but things happened so I decided to dance in the storm but I really just don’t care anymore. That’s how I feel right right now but I’m not literally dancing in the storm guys; it’s just the feeling like I’m the one in the wrong all the time, maybe it’s just me who knows who knows. I normally by now joke about that I’m not sorting out my characters from my stories when the storm comes to the U.K.
Way too warm to be able to sleep to be honest and yes I’ve written this in the middle of the night. Just casually watching the storm lighting up the sky it’s so pretty and bright. If you have me on Instagram or not yet there’s a video clip of the storm it’s @lizzysmornings it’s on there if you like to check it out and follow me on there too.
With only about two and half ours sled this morning one of the houses in my areas decided to let their dog out; what does it do as soon as it gets out? Yes that’s it barks yap yap yap, I do have to point out this is and was at 7:00am in the morning of Sunday. Along with wait for it wait for it “Toby…Toby…Toby” a but respectful than normal but yet not really what you wanted first thing on a Sunday morning.
I hope you guys have a good day, stay safe and enjoy you’re sunny Sunday whilst it lasts.
The past couple of days I’ve felt like everyone is making it out that’s my fault that I’m not giving them attention or doing what they want because one way or another they are feeling lonely or desperate to fill in the gap of being loved by someone. I don’t understand how bad people have to be just to make it all about them.
There’s so many people in this world that I’ve come across who think and accuse me off things that some may know the reasons why but still continue to make out that I’m the worst enemy. Actually they are their own worst enemy of themselves to be quite frankly yet I’m sitting there stroking their poor ego and everything until I open my mouth that I having problems.
I’m so tired of people using abusing my good nature and my abusing my good heart that is big enough to care for everyone but thinks it’s okay to destroy me and what I’m good for. I’m sick and tired of it to be honest with you. Might as well let few people go so that they know what they have lost what’s best for them.
You’re probably thinking why is she comparing her life as a grey rock; I can answer you that it was the wrestler turned actor Dwayne “The Rock” what’s his face name gave me the idea for the title as I just saw his picture on something, I was contemplating about my life like I do most days and I was just like I just want to hit someone or some people with my rock or a brick because they annoy me to the point of they needing one thrown at them. By the way I wouldn’t do that anyway neither should you in the first place. Good thanks for the promise.
Sometimes I rather just lay underneath my rock and just stay there. Don’t want to come out or nothing because what’s the point in life if there’s not much to do or anything loads of thoughts in my head. I rather just hide away in my cosy rock that I call “home” or “my comfort rock” not sure how a rock can be comfy but you can give it ago.
I find that people who come across me think I’m bubbly, funny, find it more funny that I say it how it is, relaxed and etc. At the best of times can’t work me out if I’m dead serious or not until I crack a smile of I just got you and burst out laughing. When I’m not myself and burst out crying they don’t even know what to do with me because I’m normally like the bubbly person to be around. You know they are trying to help but never know what to do.
I’m like it’s fine I’m just having a blip and the next minute I’m mucking about and having a laugh with everyone. I always find away of knowing how to bounce back when I’m having one the blip moment. Yeah my life is like a rock that I just want to throw one at someone, stay underneath or just crumble that’s basically my cycle my routine if you like to call it. Just had to double check the correct spelling of grey if I had the right one for the my britishness and it’s says “grey” and “gray” are accepted in English language so it doesn’t matter which word I use it still same word and meaning. Just the US prefer to use “Gray” in their English language. Fun fact for a Sunday.
Don’t wake up. Won’t wake up can’t wake up. No don’t wake me up. It’s the early morning as the lights flick on sleepy eyes peek through the blinds at something wrong; motionless remains the mess of someone who has been crying it’s such a shame, such a beautiful beautiful young life disappearing right before your eyes. By the time I’m dreaming you’ve crept out on me sleeping I was blissfully unaware what was happening. Tell me how am I suppose to care if you don’t wake me to check it out.
Don’t wake up. Won’t wake up. I can’t wake up no don’t wake me up. I blame myself for your death and our child. A trail of bloody clothes of the 2 year old why did you both have to go and me behind; if it wasn’t for you’re screams waking me up I wouldn’t off known what was happening before it was happening, the dream that I had wasn’t so blissful at all.
Tell me how am I supposed to care if I hadn’t let you go in my arms it could of been different now I’ll never know. I didn’t get the chance damn the person who killed you but I will find them make sure what they have done to you is real. If you could forgive me Lord and look after the love of my life and my child to keep them safe better than I could.
I’m one of those people who hate reading out loud especially when I was at school because I knew I struggle reading at the best of times and refuse to as I know I would be laughed at etc. So I would void it completely unless everyone was taking it in turns then there was no way I could get out of it but to be honest there wasn’t much to read out loud over the years at secondary school (high school).
It wasn’t because I was dumb or refused to it was because I knew I would struggle with certain words in text books due to the fact that I have a learning disability. Which means I have dyslexia and language difficulties; you may think that I write so many blogs, stories and etc how on earth I have this learning difficulties, I actually keep it quiet and just fight my way through it. Yeah I through in now and then words or have the wrong language tense in once in a while so that people who know me that has it be like this isn’t her sort of writing then realise “oh wait yeah it is”.
It only really got to me when a grandparent asked me how to read something because they couldn’t say the word (by the way they have dementia and they read a lot but forgets words easily) then I was great she’s asking me how to pronounce “RailRoad” it was bad enough I struggle with my R’s at the best of times. I literally had to concentrate whilst speaking loudly because they can’t hear; it took me at least 5 attempts to get it right whilst they were trying to hear, my parents however were in the garden pruning the trees back so it was me and my grandparent no one else could come and save me on that front.
It doesn’t bother me if I struggle but it’s annoying when I have to constantly concentrate on certain words if I’m talking to someone or want to use a good word. I give up and try something else because it’s getting to the point I just get upset and annoyed with myself more than the other person. I genuinely pick fights with myself because that’s how I know I have to try harder than any one else. Without writing I wouldn’t of made so much progress with my spelling but there’s people who are like me who would just give up and not even bother to prove themselves to get better. I chose to write than continue with maths I hate maths with a passion.
Any further or do I’m starting to ramble a bit I think so I’m going to stop there haha. We all know when I start to ramble I’m like running out of ideas. Hehe. Catch you laters.
You know when this weekend is a good weekend when your crying you’re eyes out over something and you know your surrounded by chocolate or craving chocolate for comfort because of the mess your in or you broke up with someone or something has come up but you weren’t expecting it.
I found that I tend to attract people who say that they be there for me and what not. Then you find oh great that’s a guy I want to be with; then about 6-7 months down the line you start to see their true colours of how much of a liar, and many other things that they are like the rest of the people in your life.
No matter how much you try and get them to change but you find that they can’t. They stuck like the way they are. People’s actions do tend to follow conquenses afterwards and don’t actually understand what it means in the world of living when they expect everything to fall into place. No matter how much you try to tell them or teach them the normality of it all.
No matter how much you try to tell them they soon realise as the reality hits them that the person that they love the most isn’t there anymore. They try anything to get them back when they know that they hurt them very badly. Seeing how bad they hurt them due to the fact that they either suffer some sort of mental health or something that that person has caused because they never knew how much it effected them until they noticed.
All I’m saying no matter what it is fight for your life like it’s the last thing on Earth; get justice for yourself whether they owe you money and leave or whatever it is they done leave, move on with life heal yourself because at the end of the day it’s their fault their lost that they lost the one that they love the most.
So last night (23.3.18) I was looking up different types of topics to talk about because I really wanted to do something worth while along with trying to stay awake as much as possible because I slept monjority of the day due to personal issues at the time.
Creativity is one of my important things in my life because I love creating knew ways in doing things whether it’s for myself or whilst I’m on the job you can say I’m more physical than academic I just finding sitting behind the desk boring and dull. You don’t need to have an a qualification to be creative in my opinion but it depends on what you wanting to do. However for me I like to work things out how I can improve my creativity in so many ways on my own I like that without being criticised by people who think they know better.
Creativity can be learnt if a friend wants to give something ago them go along with them but to be honest like in my last paragraph I prefer to teach myself and learn what was a good way to do things. To be honest I like to find different ways to improve my creativity by trying things out that will help me at the time.
I don’t know who’s the most creative person I know to be honest I can’t think on top of my head right now who that can be but I always believe in people who have got a good creative side of things to pursue it because it gives some sort of positive towards themselves and most importantly it’s a hobby that doesn’t die away.
I sometimes use my creativity with my job depending on the situation at the time if something is wrong I’ll have to think about how to change it around so that I’m in control of the situation not the child or if a child needs medical attention then I’ll work on my magic on that. Normally I like to have a happy chatty time when I’m on my job not when urgent attention is needed well try and reduce it as much as possible.
This topic was found on https://conversationstartersworld.com/topics-to-talk-about/ there’s 101 topics that you can talk about and what’s relevant or related to you and to be honest it will keep you going for awhile longer than normal. Yay fun creativity time for you all. Hehe.
Blooming snow! Snowing again guys Beast from the East has arrived once more this weekend; snow, rain, bit of sunny weather, snow again and what is the world coming too. Really don’t want to cancel something because of the snow but I’m just not in the mood for walking in the snow get stuck and then have to worry about crazy people who think it’s okay to drive in the snow but actually turn it into dangerous snow.
No matter how much or how many times I’ve dry off the compensation that’s on my window; it’s still steams up like nobody knows like it’s been effected by the snow or something, I know that just sounded stupid haha. Along with stencilled paint stickers that were left their marks on you could just about make out what were there; a dragon, a Jessie character from Toy Story and many others but the only two that have come up so far is the dragon and Jessie.
Practically going to tell you what I’ve done today because my plans have changed since this morning by the snow as me and someone couldn’t work out how this would work if it decided to throw it down with snow plus freeze the wet that’s on the ground. So in and out of annoying phones calls and messages about things and constantly apologising to someone even though none of this is my fault to begin with also being accused for waisting their time when I’ve had no control over or what’s going on.
I managed to work out how to use this revolution pro make up cleaner pot by using the baby shampoo by Johnson’s to get my brushes back by looking super clean. Didn’t realise how much make I used when I was washing one set of brushes. One set you got white and pink on the top for the heads by Revolution limited edition. Actually like that brand than the ones that I have been using before. Cleaned some of the old brushes that I still use B. Actually forgot what they colour they use to be. I was expecting them to be white as well but I was so wrong. Yet they are nice and clean ready to be used again tomorrow now.
Oh and been watching a fair bit of Most Haunted and Ghost Adventures because I can. Just going to do bits and pieces for the rest of the day so that I can relax a bit; not impressed how things planned out today, but what can you do really as you’ve got silly weather coming in and don’t particularly want be in it. Even the birds don’t want to be in it and it’s first time today I think I’ve heard them chirping.
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