Teenagers Life Crisis: We are Who we are

Mama, mama, mama made me the way I am; my face, my face, my eyes could someone turn me up because I’m going to be speaking my mind. I’ve been waisting a lot of time looking in mirrors hating on me but now I like what I see. I know, I know that I will never be perfect but I’m going to work it now all I need is to let it go and you need to let it do. So put your new shoes on the new you.

We are who we are. Pretty just a pretty word; I’m gonna shine like a star because I’m the only me in this world, throw away all the books and the magazines I will never going to be like a beauty queen. I’m just going to be doing it for me and no one else. Mama, mama, mama made the way I am she had told me that I should looks up to the world with my head held high. As I’ve been wasting a lot of time looking at myself in the mirrors and hating on me now I like what I see.

I wake up every morning I look at myself in the mirror I like who I see because I know I’m just pretty than the rest of them. In the evening I carry on feeling the true meaning of me and when I go to the mirror I can tell that I’m tired of being strong all day long and just cry but sometimes I feel perfectly fine feeling happy with myself. On top of the mountain felt like we weren’t meant to come or be welcome here at all as everyone would look at us; but guess what I don’t care I like who we are, so to me it doesn’t matter if we’ve over stepped the mark or that we are not allowed to be in the party of being who we are.

There should be a reason to copy other people just to make us feel good; in every season I’ll take everyone’s name down in my jealous book because they are just jealous of who I am not who they are, I am just strong independent person like everyone else who knows who they are. I’m just a pretty girl who can do all the same things as they can; just choose not to do it but yet I do it in my own personal way with my friends, who love me for me not like a fake person you see around in groups.

Everyday Post: Jack Vinyard Who?

Firstly I didn’t know who Jack Vinyard was until I heard the line up of the I’m Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here! He’s just one of those internet sensations of youtube celebrity world; who just works behind a camera for fun, and just a reality star at the end of the day. In my opinion no offensive to anyone who likes the guy and watches him day in day out. The fact is my argument is that he may of said them in the past weather or not he knew what he was talking about or what they actually meant or trying to say it to impress people.

You shouldn’t actually say them online or to people who would take it personally. No matter what you think; only talk about the topics amongst your friends not shouting about to the world, karma will come back and bite your arse one day. Unfortunately for Jack Vinyard being 22 saying things like that when he was growing up in his teens with the social media making its mark. Literally karma came to bite his arse before the insects got to him to bite him.

My advice for everyone especially for teens be very aware of what you put up on any social media; you may think it’s just a joke or your sharing your opinion about something, I will hate to say it that people will find out even jobs will find out and will fire you on the spot. At the end of the day law is changing weather or not you know what it is at the time but it will come back to bite your sorry little arse.

Jack well I can’t really judge him but at the end of the day he has now learnt the hard way; especially in front of over 10 million viewers of the fans of the show, also his YouTube fans, that he ruined his reputation more due to his stupidity. At the end of the day he has now got to learn to rebuild his life again, his reputation and his name to what he has done. Yet he’s young enough to learn from all of his mistakes and set the record straight. That is my advice to him just to be careful what he has to say in the near future.

Life is a bitch at the end of the day but at these times of crisis’s of the most world famous known people and politics are losing their fame and etc literally over night. All they worked for and towards to; now being taken away from them just one click because of what they had done from 60’s-80’s-90’s because at that time was supposedly be normal but not really. Yet there was no law at the time to stop it but now people are coming out of the darkness they are finally speaking out the traumatic experience that they had.

Just don’t do it because one day sooner or a later someone will find out and they will come knocking on your door or you be called into their office because of what you have done. Think before speaking. Actions are loader than words.

Teenagers Life Crisis: I’m not just a pretty girl

You may think I’m just a pretty girl who looks so innocent but I can swear I can joke; I will say what’s on my mind if I need to be which may lead me to drink or smoke, yet the woman who stood up for us to be able to do things just to keep up with the guys. You can see me holding up my middle finger to the world as I don’t give a fuck about your ribbons or your pearls; as I’m not just a pretty girl that’s just stands in the picture, I am so much more than just a picture and I’m a daughter and as sister.

The fact that it’s a lot harder for me to show who I really am; I know that I’m more than just the silly rumours that you spread around knowing that it’s not true, or even better the song that you play on your computer saying that I remind you of me in that song. There is more to me that meets the eye than people know. I may have days that I’m broken because of no money but when I do have the days when I have money I’m rich as I can be; you can watch, you can stare in judgement that I’m nice to people but when people get the wrong side of me I’m just like the bitch like everyone else yet I’m not sorry for that.

Yet all of the hatred I just don’t let it show because it’s not worth it as you make it out to be. Yes I’ve been through some shit but you can see that I’ve let my hair down sticking my middle finger up to the world because I don’t give the fuck about anything. I just say what’s on my mind when I don’t give a damn about anything. I can swear, I can joke, I can drink and I can smoke like everyone else. That’s because I can keep up with the guys and everyone else.

I maybe just a pretty girl but I am so much more than a number; I am a hater and I’m lover like everyone else yet it’s harder for me to show, as I am more than a title which makes the comment go viral. Yet I’m sorry on the outside but in the inside I’m not sorry. So you can certainly get out of my face if you want to see me like this because I’m not afraid of letting my hair down. As I’m just a pretty girl that needs to be let the rebel out of her because I’ve had enough of it all; yet that it’s completely opposite I’m a rebel who wants to let the pretty girl out, or pretty girl with an attitude. Yet you never know which way I’m coming.

Going Unnoticed

Going inside with 13 reasons why a Netflix tv program.

This would of been Friday Time Recap Time! Blog last week Friday 8th September 2017 but never got round to finishing it so I decided to move it along a bit. Since completing on 13 Reasons Why on a tv program on Netflix; it’s has hit home a lot, especially with me personally where a girl called Hannah Baker struggled to open up but fear of being judged and making out that she’s a lie etc. Cyber bullying isn’t okay no matter if it’s at school and continuing still out of school just behind the computer screen.

There are so many ways of people who could get build and it just goes unnoticed from being at home; clubs, school and especially social media. Just out one tiny little detail that blows out proportion; remember my recent Dairy Entry for Haters, Social Media, Press and Exs – look what you made me do? No matter how much I tried to get away from the horrible things like people say “oh how cute do they look?” And so on on or the whole thing that people spread rumours that aren’t even true, or things set you off and feel like that you can’t move on.

To be honest I’ve been off Instagram, Facebook and Twitter for a good while now as I don’t have the apps on my phone or tablets but the best thing is it’s taken off a whole lot of pressure off me. Not having to worry or be insecure about myself. One thing I do have to say is that everyone has a story but they just take it out on one person and one person alone.

Some it gets too much and when the victims ask for help but they have the fear of being judged; yet that one person may not even take them seriously enough, or even try and stop them. It’s a complete warning signs to everyone have been missed. It’s like saying where did it go wrong?

Yet I’ve noticed personally if I try and talk I get shut down quite easily when there’s other things as well not just the one thing. Then it’s a lot harder to talk about things when people say it’s always the one thing. It’s like I explain it to one of my closes friends the other day and they can see entirely where I’m coming from. They quickly apologies for making me open up to them when they realised that they open a can of worms. To be honest I don’t blame them to be honest.

That’s basically what the 13 Reasons Why story is about; where one individual can’t talk about what is going on in their lives but then you have the one person who can control all of them, until someone does something but then two people come and try to get their voices to be heard.

All I’m saying is if your a parent or a teacher or a councillor or in that area I recommend you watch 13 Reasons Why to understand what any child is going through. See if you pick up anything that you may of missed.

When we were young

The questionable thing for teens in this generation is outside what's that? But when I was young I was outside all the time not having to worry about anything.

When we were young the world seemed so old; however now the world is careless and cold, we did what we did years ago and now the generation do what they are told in this life. From 2010 backwards we had the world by our tail; that's when the good would prevail, along with the starships that would set sail and none of us would fail in this life.
Since 2010 onwards things have changed. Things shouldn't of happened not when you're young; we had drawn to whoever that would keep us together, along with the binding by the heavens above and now we have to survive the traveling at the speed of light and love.
When we were young; we adored the fabulous life of freedom of everything when we were young, we got to be the foolish and fearless of not knowing the cost of what we had to pay by letting someone else be strong. That was because we were young.
In the moment of grace; there was a long leap of faith of keeping everyone safe, but when we are young now there's always still going to be more glory stored away. This generation says this is our life; and all the bad things that are happening the government seem to be burning the bridges that we cross over, all we want to see is the firelight and we are the innocent that are getting over the old times. But yet we are young where everything seemed to be what we dreamed everyday; never knowing the cost of what we just paid for the lives, yet we are letting someone else be strong.
When we are young we start to look at ourselves and your will start to look at someone else to find that you recognise you can see yourself. Which makes you wonder when you had taken back what you've been given away but it must of been the last time you had your freedom.

The Inside Of A Teenager’s Mind and How To Communicate.

Teenagers who want to communicate but they can’t because they feel the fear of being judged, get criticism and etc from their parents.

To be able to communicate is to have the ability to connect when it really matters; even when it is often based on the ability to connect, even it doesn’t you have to build the positive of the relationships between a parent and a teen at the time. Even where there is sorting out any communication difficulties in the way of it but there are importance of big talks about significant topics with the teen who may feel embarrassed about talking to their parents about it. 

Channeling the communication to be open between the parent and a teen; is that teenagers may need their parents guidance and boundaries that they may draw and hold. This may have the impact of to be a tactical for any parents or teenagers to get this across on both sides.

Be assertive of your authority may need to be different; when dealing with authority it has to be averse teen, rather than an automatic respectful child. Teens still need to know that you are still interested, still care, on their side and watch. Even if you always don’t agree with them; you need to have the skills and the emotional resilience to go on offering help; even if the face is showing or behind the glass of indifference and opposition.

However getting locked into unhelpful ways of communicating with bickering, nagging, criticism that we all have at times with our parents and teens. Even though we tried to hard to avoid relating to them in every day life; it would either make it easier or just make it, plan lot harder to sort out the key issues.

Reduce the amount of indifference and the opposition between you and your teenager; is by improving your skills, every teen is different to the previous child. Not all teenagers are going to be the same; or the same as you when you were there age. Teens often behave in aways which that it will come difficult for you as parents to give them what they need the most. You as a parent cannot change your teen; but you can change what you do in life and how you behave differently, even if its comes to the point of matching the results in the other person. In which matching you and alternate their behaviour in themselves.

If you need a pet talking lessons or words to help start with the lines of communication open with your teenager, what should you be doing? That’s if you as a parent can help it in away of saying horrible or a criticism way. Why not look in ways of opportunities to talk off-message; like what interests they like doing, or ask if they can join or ask them if they want to come with you as a parent. 

Such like use ‘I’ messages, use open question, share something of yourself, treat the young person as an equal, practise what you preach, listen without judgement or criticism, appreciate them for their positive qualities, give unconditional love but hold strong boundaries over behaviour, give frequent ‘strokes’ as my mum puts it licks like a cat by stroking my arm and yes I did roll my eyes at that one, include the young person in family activities but give them the choice to opt out, understand and take action only when asked for help

For more info click on this link right here 👉🏻 👇🏻http://www.familylives.org.uk/advice/teenagers/communicating-with-teenagers/the-importance-of-communicating-with-teenagers/ enjoying my emojis and hyper links why too much these days. This is where I found my research; I let you in a little secret, I was reading/doing this when one of my parents were talking to me giving me a lecture about something. Believe me I try and avoid everything as much as possible and I’m 26 years old currently. By the time in the few years time I’ll be a lot older than this blog haha. 

Gender Identity Quotes Extra 

Just coming back to the revisit of Gender Identity that I have writing couple of weeks ago or just attached it for Vocal Media. I have amazing feedback from people who I have asked and they have commented. I do like to advise that please respect other’s comments about their thoughts and people who are brave enough to come out to talk to me about their experiences.
The fact that I wanted to revisit this article that I had written; we because there are so many young people out there, who are afraid to come out. This is either afraid of being judged, know how strongly about one or both parents feel, or they know in the past that there have been laws about it. I will most likely to re-re-visit in a few months or so if people would like me to come back to this topic. 

The comments so far that I have received so far from people that I have asked around. Please remember respect the people’s opinions and how they see it. One person called Lee has offered to answer any questions if anyone is struggling to come out; or ask for advice, if you have any please contact me through lizzyarrow@outlook.com this is where you can ask your questions and I’ll email them over to him. I will do visa with the response that he has given. Due to protection and policies and etc. If you like to remain anonymous please inform me as I email I will leave anonymous against your question or comments. 

“Can’t say I wasn’t shocked but I’m fine with it. It’s her life not mine lol (smiles)’ ‘She is what she is at the end of the day. She still my beautiful Sammi’ by Sarah her daughter is Bisexual 

“Yes always been straight hun. Been involved in a lot of sexual action with men and women both; there are some more than other in different situations, but never been attracted to male. Only female.” “I can appreciate a good body looking or body buy not want to kiss it or sleep with it. Have no problem being naked with other men though” By Gareth who is straight 

“Why not…they are allowed to get opinions from anybody” “so they could know the advantage and disadvantage of that”. “‘No’ its not a sin to the Muslim faith’ By anonymous on religious backgrounds side of things

“My parents were absolutely fantastic when I told them. I introduced them to my boyfriend whilst I was at university and never expressed any problem with it all. I had known that I was gay since Secondary School (UK meaning); maybe towards the end of college, and told my friends. None of them seemed surprised and all accepted to was normal with no fuss. There wasn’t a clear point at which I knew I was gay but to realise that I had much stronger feelings and attractions towards male models. I did briefly wonder if I was bisexual but I understood quickly that I didn’t have romantic feelings for people of the opposite sex. I have had any negative reactions thankfully. I’m happy any questions but I hope this helps” By Lee who’s gay. 

“1) How did you know you were gay, lesbian, trans or straight

In high school around mid teens bisexual 
2) How did you feel in telling your parents? 

Worried not to sure how to go about it never told my dad and mum told me i was going through a phase 

3) How did you feel in telling your friends or your close friends?

Friends no problem understood 
4) Have you told anyone about your sexuality or you still keeping it a secret?

Well friends know im bi but do keep it behind closed doors, my hubby doesnt like it and never has done. But i know that me and hubby are ment to be, sole mates so doesnt really bother me but i know its still there.”

5) What is the best advice for the young generation of today? 

Be yourself, you are who you are and you only live once so if you want to have experience go for it and if its not for you, its not for you x ” Anonymous who’s Bi

Body Shaming

The action or practice of humiliating someone by making mocking or critical comments about their body shape or size.

‘Body Image’ Someone perceives their body and assumes that others may perceive them. This image can also affected by family, friends, social pressure and the media. People who are unhappy with the bodies; this is because they don’t seek healthy nutrition information may develop lots of different eating disorders, meaning that ‘Eating disorders’ are unhealthy relationships with food that may include fasting, constant dieting, or binging and purging.  

Body image is closely linked to self-esteem; meaning low self-esteem in adolescents can lead to eating disorders, early sexual activity, substance use and suicidal thoughts. This is where you can post encouraging notes in your school bathrooms to be able to brighten your classmates day. 

Approximately of the women 91% women are unhappy with their bodies and resort to dieting to be achieve their ideal body shape. However unfortunately only 5% of the women who naturally possess the body type often portrayed but the Americans in the media. 

58% of the college – aged girls feel that they are being pressured to be a certain weight; this is because of other girls that they see in magazines, idols and other girls in their year pressure them to be in that weight or think that they should be that weight but yet it confuses them of who they are and their true identity. The studies shows that there the more reality of television young girls watched the more likely is to be able to find appearance that are important to them.

However there are 1/3 of the people who admit that they have ‘normal dieting’ who merge the pathological dieting. To which you will find 1/4 who those will suffer from a partial or full on eating disorder. A survey had showing that 40% of women and about 20% have agreed in which they would consider the cosmetic surgery in the future; which the statistics have remained the relatively that are constant, that’s across the gender, age, martial status, and race.

Students; especially girls who consume more mainstream media, place the greater importance on the sexiness and the overall appearance than who do not consume as too much. This is where I have mentioned it roughly in the previous paragraph about the students at college. 

The fact that 95% of people eating disorders are between the ages of 12 to 25; which only 10% of the people, who are suffering from an eating disorder will only seek the professional help. 

In other research that I have read and what has brought to my attention is that 90% of teens unhappy with body shape; nine of ten the British teenage girls who are unhappy with their bodies, are within their mother’s who seem to appear to be responsible to which passes on their own insecurities.   

Out of the 2,000 girls who were questioned for a poll that was given to them; at the time it was set towards them at the time, only 8% who had said that they were ‘happy’ with their appearance. Meanwhile the 87% say that they were ‘unhappy’ about their appearance. According to the teen Magazine survey for Bliss; those who had said that were unhappy about their appearance, was due to the thoughts of their own mothers had some what ‘insecure about their own body image’. This can be because they could over hear what they mothers talking to their female friends or partners and etc; to which makes the 90% of the teens say that they are unhappy about their bodies, and think that their mothers are talking about them or they don’t want to end up like their mothers. 

Whilst there are 19% of the teenage girls who were questioned about being over weight; when actually 67% thought they needed to loose weight, this shows that just 64% of these girls are under 13 have already been on a diet from a very young age. 

The research that I had disclosed that there are some worrying facts that there are long lengths of young girls; would go on their quests for a beauty bodies, because they can’t seek for help or have the confidence to ask for help or talk about it until it is too late. A quarter of 14 year olds (26%) have said to the researchers who have done the polls and etc. Have actually considered having the plastic surgery or even taking the diet pills; which have rising within those who were overweight to 42%, which you may find within the teens that almost fifth (19%) have told the researchers that they were already suffering from eating disorder such like anorexia or bulimia. 

I am currently in my late 20’s now; just slowly coming out of depression and anxiety once again, I would be insecure about my body the way I look and etc. Throughout my teens and etc; I would show that I wouldn’t care but actually I really did care about what I looked like, how I would dress and what not. I would compare myself to other people; I wish I was pretty, I wish I didn’t put so much weight on and etc. When I was in my mental state of mind I would just bing eat; whatever money I had I would go and get family packs of crips, chocolate and fizzy drinks or even just sleep my days away. Part of my mental health was because I didn’t like myself or who I was. 

I do have lots of positive about myself when I make the effort of making myself look really nice; look pretty, looking stunning and I take pictures when I do to post them on Instagram. I either caption them or just leave them on how it is; because I have no words to describe them, but I know that I have caught a really good and positive photo of myself at the time I had taken it. 

I am slowly getting the chance of getting to know myself; feeling the confidence that I need to know that it’s okay to have a bit of weight, I know when I do my make up and looking nice that I know its the real me. Even when I don’t feel like it and feel bad about myself; I try my hardest to be able to look presentable as much as I can, even if I’m not going anywhere special. 

Gender Identity

After a series of researching on the web, I thought why not kick off this week with gender identity and sexuality.
 
Gender identity is generally found between the ages 13 and 19 years old. This is when teens are gaining new experiences, emotions, relationships, expectations and all of this can become overwhelming for any teen that age. However, adding gender identity into the mix of everything else that is happening within themselves and around them can cause these years to be the most confusing time for teens. They will find it hard to navigate their gender identity around school and/or home, with their doctors or even with their friends.

One’s gender identity is their inner most concept of self as a male, female, both or neither; outside of that, they could fancy the same sex, or a different sex than what they were assigned at birth. The two words that are most used when it comes to what gender you are attracted to are Gay or Lesbian, Bisexual (Bi) or straight; Gay means you like the same sex as yourself, either male or female, Bisexual means you like both, Lesbian is when you are a girl and only like girls and the last one is straight as in you only like the opposite sex.

Finding the confidence of telling a friend or a parent that your gender identity or sexual preference does not fit the societal norm can be an emotional journey. You don’t know how they will react or when the right time to tell them will be, telling someone or “coming out” should happen when the time comes and when you’re ready. It is a massive thing to tell family members and close friends your secret, at the best of times we may not be able to have any sort of control over our “coming out”. There are ways for you to be able to overcome that fear; if “coming out” is important to you, there is a website called ‘Gender Spectrum’ that offers guidance and helpful recourses for you to look at. https://www.genderspectrum.org/

I have asked a few people that I know that who are straight, bi, gay, and lesbian to tell their stories, but I’m currently waiting to hear back from them. When I do I’ll create another article about friends who happily tell their stories, how they coped, what they did and many other things. Hopefully, this can help you can feel more settled with what you feel and what you may want to do.
You are not alone out there. Everyone is in the same boat there is no shame in who you are; people have to accept who they are at the end of the day. 

Charity work you can do

Wanting to do something good with your life; there’s lots of things that you could do in your spare time, loads of official charities out there that you can help. 


The worst feeling is that your not 100 percent sure in what you want to do with your life; better still your waiting for prince or princess charming to come and get you, so that you don’t have to go to work or do anything. Have that luxury life that everyone else has; think about the children, the poor, the needy and the helpless. You may have a home to go to; family that care for you, still have loads of opportunities to give a try. What do the people who are in need have? Think about it whilst your reading this. 

Over the years I have helped with charities such like Children In Need a well known charity in England; my local charity called Challengers, and last but least a special needs school who has become academy trust within a year called Pond Meadow which is a local school in my hometown. When I was growing up I had lots of big aspirations; meaning there was lots of things that I wanted to do, but no one really believed in me. 

Well the teachers at school because I was in the bottom two sets; so they didn’t really care much about me and my grades, however since I’ve left school I still didn’t know what I wanted to do. First college didn’t really believe in me either; so I gave up trying my hardest to do that course, that was when I went to another college and that college helped me to turn my life around.

They helped me to believe in myself; along side them believe in me, I managed to work hard to get good grades, help me to focus on my creativity. You’re probably thinking why has this got anything to do with charities and helping people. I can tell you right now; it has everything to do with charities because if I believed in myself to do things when no one else would, I wouldn’t be doing what I am doing now.

Working with special needs children I provided them hope, encourage them, do things that they thought it would be impossible to do. They were being giving the life that everyone else had; believe me the things that I have witnessed, helped and made them do lots of progress. It made their day and your day one hundred percent good one even if there was things that couldn’t be helped. 

All I am saying is that if your struggling to know what you wanting to do in life after school or college; why not become a volunteer or a place that you become a paid volunteer, to gain some work experience and also give you some sort of direction in where you want to go in life. 

Here are some few ideas you may want to check out:

  • Local Charities
  • Children in Need 
  • Sports Relief
  • Comic Relief/Red Nose Day
  • National Trust 
  • English Heritage
  • Helping children in Africa

Remember me talking about my best friend Caspian; well he had asked me to help with one of his charities, to which I manage to scrape some money together out of my own pocket. Sent it to a country in Africa called Nigeria; I had received some photos, from the person who was on Caspian’s team through him of course and in the pictures they had shown me what they had received. I do have to say is that I am so pleased that they have got something that they truly enjoy the most. To also have a childhood that like everyone else. 

Do something to make will make yourself proud and seeing other people smile as they are being heard and listen to. Its that feeling of great sense of feeling to have when you have made someone’s day.