If you believe it’s up too you. I know the truth and that’s all that matters
Hello, it’s me. I was ringing because I was wondering after all these years that you might like to meet. So that we could go over everything but they say that time supposed to heal you; to be honest I haven’t done much healing because I get all of the flash backs from all of the pain, that I had to endure over the years. Hello can you hear me? I have forgotten how it felt even before the world fell at our feet. There’s so much to talk about and there’s now a lot of difference between us and now a million miles away from each other.
There’s a place that we use to be and there was a face that I use to see. There was always a picture of you by my side. There’s a moment that I always find and want to reach out toe you; because I’m scared in the dark, and I need you to wrap your arms around me.
Now that your in front of me I don’t know where to start or how to begin but I know that I still love you. If you ever turn away or even change your mind. You know that I’m here for you; I can still hear your voice in the wind saying “if the road ahead becomes too hard to come climb, you know where I am and if there’s something in your heart tells you to stop. Close your eyes imagine me holding you closing against me because I’d wait for life.”
Everytime you see me or message me you worry and scared that I’m pushing you away because there’s voices inside my head shouting. There’s a space on your side of the bed always hope everytime there’s a sound you would come running getting inside on your side and wrap around like there was silence that’s playing too loud in my head.
I don’t know how are or how you maybe but I know you still love me. Even if I close my eyes. I’ll dream a little deeper baby because your always on my mind. I know I’m always on your mind. For life.
Here’s a short story that should serve as a lesson for all men, NEVER LIE TO A WOMAN, she will find a way to see right through your lies and catch you red handed. This man learned it the hard way.
A man phones his wife and asks her: “Honey I’ve been asked to go fishing in China with my boss for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get the promotion. So could you please pack enough clothes for a week, set out my rod & fishing box. We’re leaving from office & I’ll swing by the house to pick my things. Oh, Please pack my new blue silk pyjamas!”
The wife noticed that there’s something fishy in her husband’s story but since she was a good wife she listened to her husband and did exactly as he told her. After a week the husband returned home, looking a bit tired but happy to have done a good job. The wife immediately started asking about the weekend, how it was, if he’d caught any fish and so on.
The husband said: “Yes, Lots of Salmon, Blue gill & a few Swordfish. But why didn’t you pack my blue silk pyjamas?”
To which the wife responded: “I did…..They’re in your fishing box”.
Sunday Special Online Diary Entries is what you decide if it’s true or not. You have a opinion there should be judgement what so ever. If this sounds Truth to you then it’s okay. I know the truth and what isn’t. Funny because I’m the one that’s writing it.
Okay mental health you can have if you want it then take my happiness; I shouldn’t of said it before because I tried to hide it, even tried to fake it but I can’t even pretend anymore. I only want to die alive never by the hands of a broke heart or you’re nasty thoughts. I don’t want to hear anymore of your lies tonight now that I’ve become who I really am.
This is part of me but when I say I don’t want you anymore because I’m stronger than ever before; this is part where I’m going to break from you because I can’t resist you no more, you were better deeper as I was under your spell for so long like it was a deadly fever like it was in the highway off heal.
The thought of your body trying to take over inside me in the past it was lethal and fatal. Now that in
my dreams it felt when I woke up every time I knew I was coming alive. If I was a rich girl and had all of the money in the world it still won’t make me happy or be confident in my life; it’s only people in my life that are more important to me, the fact that I’m tired of being sorry for not made of money and longing for a life. Yet I’m breaking free within the silver moon giving me the more confidence of to break free from it all.
I’m not standing out in the street crying out to you to take over me because I’m just laughing in your face. Your losing all of your thorns that you had tangled inside me; there’s sounds in the air as I’m standing on the bridge I can hear sirens in the air, I can hear Caspian’s voice talking to me to calm down and to come down. I knew I was scared of heights so I was just sitting there on the bridge; he whispered in my ear “let me be your hero”, I turned round by swinging my legs round with his help and helped me down. I wrapped my arms around him feeling so happy that he was there being my hero; kissing all my pain away, standing by me for ever and I knew I was breaking free forever.
This Sunday Special Diary Entries Online is based on a true facts of everyone who feels the same way but don’t say it. The signs are there in the lines of the pages of the book. Weather you believe in this or not it’s your opinion but yet I’m doing this for me and I know how I feel. It’s your opinion on the matter of all things.
“Don’t look at me” we say when everyday is so wonderful that’s when all of the sudden it’s hard to breathe because now and then I get so insecure from all the pain and I’m just so ashamed. No matter what they say nor my mind say I am beautiful no matter because words can’t bring me down. I know that I am beautiful in every single way; yes, words can’t bring me down but not today I’m taking no prisoners today so don’t bring me down today.
I see all of your friends standing there being delirious because your so consumed in all of your doom; trying to hard to fill the emptiness as the pieces have gone, the puzzle is now left undone as is it the way it is? You are beautiful no matter what they say; words can’t bring you down anymore because you are beautiful in every single way, words can’t bring you down today and so don’t bring me down today.
No matter what we do no matter what we say. We are the song that’s inside the tune that is playing full of beautiful mistakes and everywhere we go the sun will always shine and tomorrow we might wake up on the other side. So don’t you bring me down today. Don’t bring me down today.
This is your own decision Weather this is just a story or based on a true fact. I would like to remind you this is your own opinion and I know the truth behind this story.
I use to run home everyday glad to be away from school and etc as I use to be called names, made fun at, they wouldn’t let me play and the words or laughter “hey Elizabeth why did you do that?” “Hahaha, you can’t spell girl” they would pull my hair and took my chair away. I kept on pretending that I didn’t care “Hey Elizabeth you’re so funny you got teeth like bugs bunny”
Oh so you think you know me now. Spreading lies about me all your life but actually have you forgotten how you would make me feel; when you dragged my spirit down but thank you for my the pain, it has now made me raise my game I’m still rising and rising who doesn’t give a damn about you anymore. Yeah!
Yet so many of your jokes now are broken they don’t work on me no more; you’re the one who is now alone, but who’s laughing now as the bar has raised up a lot higher than you set it. You can hit me hard with your playing cards to become a star but you know who’s the actual star of the show.
Oh now I’m making money more money than you are; you just want to use my fame by sending Facebook request because you went to school with me, but you only know my name. “Oh Lizzy we knew that you could make, I would love you to sign it for me” So you think now that I’m signed to book deals and etc; my pockets are lined with gold, four years down the line I’m still in the que to get the deal. “Oh Lizzy I saw your blog work and decided to tag old photos when we were at school”
Lizzy! she broke out of the box you swallowed your pride when you got that ego cough, (cough cough) let the haters hate when they see the man who I am with. I’m like your way too late to be my close friend now; click click to see I got a message from you. “Hola, I’m proud of you” I roll my eyes and say what I’m thinking out loud “who’s laughing now” I just don’t care what you say to me now that I’ve got my chance in life and now I can laugh at you all the way. Tell you where to shove it where the sun doesn’t shine. I’m the one who’s laughing at you now.
This Is still a Sunday Special but with the Online Diary Entries as I feel that it should be the one of those things that I should be able to say how I feel and etc at the end of the week and share my stories. It’s up to you if you believe it or not it’s your opinion and I know the truth.
I love it when you just do your own thang honey; I can feel it from the start since we first met, now this time is the hardest part because I can’t stand it anymore or any longer. Your something special to me that caught my eye which moved me deep inside. Yet you don’t know what you did but you had it and I’ve been hooked. Both past and present had disappeared as everytime I see you or speak to you everything starts to make sense. I know I can be the royal pain in the arse when it comes to my head; I do things really stupid but I do really care about it all especially our relationship, if I could turn back the clock I would and now that I’m paying the price of it.
There’s no other man that can stand up next to you because you do your own thang honey. I know that your the right kind of man for me putting up with my stupidity for things that no one else can. There isn’t any other man on this planet that I want but you; it’s true without you I wouldn’t be able to go about my daily basis, or feel comfortable with myself because I know I have my knight in shinning armour.
I never thought I’d be alright until you came into my life and changed it. There was once cloudy mind that I don’t know how to get through it but know that it’s clear you’re the light that I needed. Your the one I want and I am not going to give you up I’m going to fight for you; even if it’s going to kill me either way, because I’m in love with you. I want everyone to know that you are mine and no one else’s.
You were there when I was a mess. You talked to me down from every ledge you give me your strength when I needed it the most boy you are the best and you’re the only one that has passed every test. I am telling you know that there is no other man but you in my life.
As we forgive each one of those Who sins against us,
lead us not into temptation
But deliver us from evil.
For the kingdom
The power and the glory are yours
Now and forever
Give thanks to the fallen Soldiers in World War 1 and World War 2, Fawklins, and the current wars out in Syria and other war zones. To the 100 years of women servicing who are now allowed to become a full member of the army. Today we wouldn’t be here today without the soldiers who gave up their lives to save ours. Today marks remembrance service and 11th Day, 11th Hour, 11th month was the day of the end of World War 1. We shall not forget those.
Personally I really truly hate magazines like Hello! Gossip! And whatever the shit people read these days; to be honest I don’t really the read them because why would you sell your story to someone who would change your words, and most importantly blow it out of proportion.
I tend to read a few pages of a magazine like Hello! If I’m there in a staff room of my old job because there’s no one else there; or help me calm my nerves down with the doctors, hospital (that goes out of the window you have no hope of me reading something other than get me out of here sign around my neck) and etc.
The fact is that it’s like Jeremy Kyle, Judge Ryder and other ridiculous shows who bring on people because they want to address their problems across the nation; so that everyone wants to know, and to be honest I don’t give a fuck about other people’s problems. It’s like I don’t want to people to know about my problems but then blasting it out to the whole world on social media, chat shows, and these magazines.
You get the comments, the hate, people’s opinions, and etc. You get why do you all against me; why is everyone judging me for what I say, just don’t put it up for the whole world to see. Only talk to your close nit friends and family about the problems. It’s like me and my sister were talking about it the other day about a situation we know about and we are like what a douche bag and laugh that how pathetic they are as well.
Then talking about celebrities who never said anything or people take pictures unnoticed and the writers spin a story out of a picture. Which is completely utter lies. Where do these magazines and etc get off from. It’s a load of bullshit in my opinion. Rant over for a Sunday.
New month and why not hit it off with a Sunday Confessions time shall we.
I wasn’t too sure how to do this Sunday’s Special or weather or not to write it for this week; but I thought when I looked up some ideas I saw the title of confession of a…., and then I thought as it’s a Sunday and normally I do a Sunday Special. Why not go back to my routes of growing up in a Christian family and touch base there for a bit.
I know that I have struggled a lot this passed week or so but I’m not going to go down that path of talking about it on here; I have something that I can turn to for that, so let’s not go there. However I will talk about my experience so far with my 20’s up until now; as I have less that 13 weeks until my 27th birthday, so I might as well talk about it now than later. By the way I’m fine and I’m doing this for myself no one else.
1. Left College
2. diagnosed with Polystic Overias Syndrome
3. landed two volunteering charity work
4. landed a retail job
5. landed a paid charity job
6. landed a new job in a special needs school school
7. left the paid charity job
8. got diagnosed with Depression and GAD
9. left the Special Needs School
10. I started a new job doing school runs
11. I started my blogging in 2015
12. I started my official blog website
13. Went and do some traveling for a bit with a friend.
14. Tried out dating websites (never again)
15. Had worst times with mental health
16. Friends that moved away for better life
17. Family problems
18. Family member getting married
19. Family two family members getting confirmed/christened
That’s pretty much about it I think so far in the space of 6 years in my 20’s lots of things happened I have missed a few and maybe more but I didn’t want to particularly mention it and put it out there. So as you can see there are pros and cons in my life that has happened within the years of my 20’s.
Going inside with 13 reasons why a Netflix tv program.
This would of been Friday Time Recap Time! Blog last week Friday 8th September 2017 but never got round to finishing it so I decided to move it along a bit. Since completing on 13 Reasons Why on a tv program on Netflix; it’s has hit home a lot, especially with me personally where a girl called Hannah Baker struggled to open up but fear of being judged and making out that she’s a lie etc. Cyber bullying isn’t okay no matter if it’s at school and continuing still out of school just behind the computer screen.
There are so many ways of people who could get build and it just goes unnoticed from being at home; clubs, school and especially social media. Just out one tiny little detail that blows out proportion; remember my recent Dairy Entry for Haters, Social Media, Press and Exs – look what you made me do? No matter how much I tried to get away from the horrible things like people say “oh how cute do they look?” And so on on or the whole thing that people spread rumours that aren’t even true, or things set you off and feel like that you can’t move on.
To be honest I’ve been off Instagram, Facebook and Twitter for a good while now as I don’t have the apps on my phone or tablets but the best thing is it’s taken off a whole lot of pressure off me. Not having to worry or be insecure about myself. One thing I do have to say is that everyone has a story but they just take it out on one person and one person alone.
Some it gets too much and when the victims ask for help but they have the fear of being judged; yet that one person may not even take them seriously enough, or even try and stop them. It’s a complete warning signs to everyone have been missed. It’s like saying where did it go wrong?
Yet I’ve noticed personally if I try and talk I get shut down quite easily when there’s other things as well not just the one thing. Then it’s a lot harder to talk about things when people say it’s always the one thing. It’s like I explain it to one of my closes friends the other day and they can see entirely where I’m coming from. They quickly apologies for making me open up to them when they realised that they open a can of worms. To be honest I don’t blame them to be honest.
That’s basically what the 13 Reasons Why story is about; where one individual can’t talk about what is going on in their lives but then you have the one person who can control all of them, until someone does something but then two people come and try to get their voices to be heard.
All I’m saying is if your a parent or a teacher or a councillor or in that area I recommend you watch 13 Reasons Why to understand what any child is going through. See if you pick up anything that you may of missed.