Sunday Online Diary Entries: “Left Outside Alone” – Story Based

All my life that I’ve been waiting for you to walk into my life; wether you brought me a fairytale or not, living in a fantasy without a meaning won’t be okay because I don’t fee safe like the day you had left me with my heart was left broken in despair. I want to breath but I can’t find the air within me; I always thought and beloved that you were sent from up above but yet you and me never had love to begin with yet there is so much I have to say, can you help me find a way to explain to you how much I love you now yet I wonder if you know how it feels to be so confused and torn when you say you love me and then you don’t.
Do you know how it feels to be left outside alone as it’s cold out here as you walked away once again leaving me standing here; maybe you should know just how it feels to be left outside alone, I can tell you right now that I’ve been waiting for you to bring me a fairytale my way because I’ve been left hurt so many times and yet now I know I’ve been living in a fantasy without any meaning from yours part. I know it’s nit okay because I don’t feel safe and all I need to do is pray.
Why do you play me like a game? Yet there’s always someone else to blame because there’s always a careless little man that’s always there on your side. Someday you might actually understand that there’s not much more to say but I do hope you find a way. I can tell you right now that our fairytale will soon come to an end because right now I don’t feel safe anymore.
As I pray to god. Oh Heavenly Father please save me from this painful heartbreak. Do you know how it feels to be left outside in the cold alone? Maybe you should know how it feels because you know what true love really means. As my life has been waiting. For a fairytale to come my way yet I know I’ve been living in a fantasy without meaning and it’s not okay because I don’t feel safe anymore. I need to pray.

Sunday Online Diary Entries: “Glitter and Gold” – Story

Someone once said to me life has its good days and bad days. It doesn’t have to be this bad once you lose yourself there’s no cry for help when you don’t think you need it. Old friends are just like chores but it’s when you need them more than ever before; all that glitter and all that gold that you dream of won’t by you happiness, as you seem to brought into the limelight and sold your stories to the newspapers you can’t control all that glitter or that gold. You need to remember to take control of your soul; no matter high or how low you get, you’ll be on your own and no one will be there to catch your fall.

How you going to act because losing your soul will cost you more than the life you’re paying for. You don’t need all the money in the world and all of those friends you left behind; one day you might actually need them when it’s cold outside as your life might go spiralling out of control, yet all that glitter and all that gold that your earning won’t keep you happy for much longer and when you have brought everything that’s when you wish you had the control of your finances more better. All you need is to take better of your soul.

One day you’re going to wake up to find that your dream is loosing its shine because you have nobody by your side; that’s when the rain comes falling down, and you’re losing your mind that’s when the only place you turn to is the media. That’s where your going to run to and then once it’s all out where are you going to hide? Glitter and gold won’t keep you warm especially on those lonely nights that you wish you had someone by your side.

All I can say is to you dear is if you want to be which and famous just remember who you are, where you came from, who your true friends are and most importantly stay grounded don’t let the glitter or the gold or the fame go straight to your head. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.

Sunday Online Diary Entries: Anxiety of being in a relationship or even the thought of it

The reason why I thought I’ll write about this on a Anxiety suffer point of view because some people may not understand why nice, gentle and kind people suffer anxiety and the thought of being in a relationship or in a relationship makes them like it.

I can definitely relate to this sort of thing wether or not if I’m in one or not just the thought just terrifies me. Sometimes I’m confident, yeah I’m fine and get on with it; all of the sudden it dawns on me what happens if this happened or what happens if that happened, you start to throw things at the person who cares about you the most trying to put them off but stands their ground and not budge what so ever.

Someone I know who has social anxiety every time they think about an event that their friends ask them to join or meeting up with a close friend who’s been there for them. They wouldn’t eat and vomit; over the time with this close friend of theirs who’s been coming to their house, over the past several months she’s been loosing the social anxiety that involves around that close friend to her because they truly care about her and want to spend time with them.

It takes a true friend or someone that you love the most t stick by you no matter how your feeling. The patience, the time and the care that they give to you the most is the one that you may want to be with for the rest of your life. Most people just want to give up and walk away from it all as some people don’t want to help themselves.

Trust me if it wasn’t for few of my friends like Caspian, TP, Terry and Barry. Oh and Megs, Rebekah and Marvel I would of not helped myself as much as I could. However having the confidence from my friends that I can do it and believing that I can do it. I can build the confidence and believe in myself that I can do it too knowing that I know if I start to fall I can go to one of them for help if I needed to.

Sunday Online Diary Entries: Whole lotta history

Weather you believe this or not it’s your opinion and I respect that. I put my thoughts and feelings into theses stories for the Online Diary Entries wether it’s true or not.

I can’t talk I know that I got it the wrong way like I normally do; as I’m looking up to see what’s falling down, yeah I know I can’t talk because I’ve gone back the wrong way and what is the use in what I say? I can hear myself complain all the time so I’m going to do it again; I give myself the blame to so I can get back up again to get out of the rain.

Baby. I miss you like nobody could. So tell me is she really that beautiful? Each time she kisses you tell me are you imagining it’s me kissing you. Does she really love you like I never could? Or love you like I use to love you? Hold you tender and tell you everything is good? You know she would hurt you? Because I never could and does she hold you tight at night all night long? If not you know who’s the one for you. I’m talking about the whole lot of history; I can’t find a way to show you what you mean to me, I’ve all around when you miss me and the way you love me. I don’t know what to do. So baby could you tell me.

Hello, did you call me? I thought it didn’t matter that you’re now gone; and I know the end of the story but there’s nothing but a shadow where my heart shone. If I’m dammed if I do and dammed if I don’t. You cost me so much love that I decided to go I know when I’ve had enough so don’t tell me that I’m not alone because I’ve gave you enough chances tell me if you want to be with me.

Yet I keep on finding ways to show you how much you mean to me, how much I miss you and how much I love you. It just keeps me spinning me and constantly I know how much I love you. I know it might sound crazy but your voice still leaves me all funky with a smile on my face.

Sunday Online Diary Entries: I’ll be there

Wether you believe this true or not it’s your opinion and no one else’s. I know the truth and that all matters to me.

I remember the day that you and I must make a pact; we must bring our salvation back where there the love is because I’ll be there standing right next to you, no matter what happens as I’ll reach my hand out to you and I’ll have my faith in all what you do as you know that I’ll be there.

I could hear you making your promises saying “I’ll be there to comfort you; build my world of dreams around you, I’m so glad that I found you and I’ll be there with a love that’s strong and I’ll be your strength when you can’t carrying on and I’ll keep holding on because I know your having a rough patch once in awhile. Yes I will. Let me fill your heart with and laughter; togetherness is all I’m after, I know you know that you want the same and whenever you need me I will be there. I will be there to protect you with unselfish love and I respect you just call my name and I’ll be there.”