Mental Health Issues: Dreaded Mental Health!

It kickstarts again. No matter how much you try to talk to talk about mental health it’s like saying “you can’t do this. You can’t do that” which reminds me the times that people say to you as a child you can’t play with that your not old enough. You can drink that your not old enough. The list goes on and on to be honest with you. It’s bad enough that you have this horrible feeling that your not allowed to even talk about mental health at all anymore; well that’s what I feel like because as I do suffer from it yes time to time I talk about it, it’s the initial thought of being judged by other people because they will judge you for some reason or another or you come across someone saying “I’ve had a bad experience in my life when growing up but does that make me depressed. I think I never really thought about being depressed. I don’t know why you should be depressed about things. Then again I don’t know what happened in your past so I’m not going to judge” 

I’m there thinking you just got all arms up and being judgemental about someone who has mental health then conderdicted themselves for not being judgemental. That I really don’t understand to be honest because you say one thing then say another and your like you spineless arse. I wake up everyday to fight it even if I’m having a good day I’m still battling it but not as bad as some days that I have done. I have talked to professionals about it all yet it’s draining afterwards and I don’t want to do anything afterwards.

I find talking about myself and things that have gone on in my life a lot harder than just writing about it. I sometimes just write a blog but just to vent and don’t post it because at the end of the day do I really want my whole life story on the social media and the internet not really. I’ve learnt my lesson from the last time and ever since then I’m either constantly being reminded or people still go and run to people that I know will cause more problems. Yeah they are trying to help but at the end of the day I like the people who come to me first than run to other people it shows a bit of respect at the end of the day. That goes with if someone got a problem with me why go to someone else then to me first and try to sort it out. 

Today (10.4.18) is a recovery day for me because I went out yesterday (9.4.18) with my parents it took a lot of hard work for me to get myself out and etc. When I didn’t want to go out but the time we were half way round to near the end I started to not want to be out anymore because I need my space and my time to myself. By the time we got back I just wanted to be left alone to which was okay I then slept for hours to be honest with you. Hoping something would arrive but I’ve got this feeling that it’s not going to come but I’m just anxious about it; nothing worth getting hopes up guys someone wanted me to work on something for them that’s all, yet it hasn’t arrived yet making me anxious because I don’t want it to get lost. 

As you may can tell I’m not one of those people it’s all about me I like to be normal and keep to myself unless I’ll tell how it is then they know and realise don’t get off on the wrong side of me. Fair few have done and backed off. Yet majority of the people like my character and find it funny because I remind them of someone that they know and etc. I do it all the time to my friend Megs because she needs toughing up and I’m always nice to her. The fact that she’s learning a lot in space of a year about herself more so than she realises as she knows what I would say. She knows I don’t mean half what I say but because she realises how much I’m right and she focuses how to change it. That’s all for now folks.

Adventures: Last time I went on adventure was…?

The fact that I’m sitting here writing blogs that are nearly the same old same old. Unless I’m thinking about myself thinking I’m doing the same old same old. Who knows? I was just watching a few YouTube videos as you do because there wasn’t anything else to do to be honest and not a lot on tv to be honest just the same old boring things day in day out.

It got me thinking about how much I missed going down to Southampton, Poole and Bournemouth picking up my best friend Rebekah who was on a placement year that year be coming up to 2 years nearly that I haven’t seen her to be honest. Do miss her now and then because she lives up in Manchester now shame best four to five years off my life being in each other’s pockets. Not saying Meg isn’t my best friend as well but Rebekah and me we use to go on adventures a lot. 

Yeah I went on a mini holiday down to Bournemouth with a friend at Easter but it was only for a night just to get away. I’m currently in the mood to go to London not 100% why but really fancy going and explore to be honest. But going on adventures would be so cool and well and truly needed. To be honest 2 years worth is well and truly need to go and explore. 

Yet it always cost money and all that jazz to be honest. Money that I don’t seem to have to be honest because of everything being so expensive and what not. Haha. Life really sucks to be honest see everyone jetting off here there and everywhere because they CAN! 

I’ll get there in the end I live and hope to be honest with you. I live in hope. If you guys know best places to go that are current safe place to go let me know. Love to explore more of England would love to go up and see my old time best friend Rebekah in Manchester it would be awesome. So far London and Manchester I want to go at the moment other ideas are welcome. 



Everyday Post: “Would you stand by me” – Story Based

When the night has come once again the land has become dark and the moon is the only light we’ll ever see. No I won’t be afraid as long as you stand by me darling please stand by me; if the sky that we look upon should tumble and fall or the mountain should crumble to the sea I try not to cry or shed a tear just as long as you stand by me.

Please don’t leave me darling because I know that I’ll be afraid without you. Please stand by me as I’m always standing by you whenever you’re in trouble. Would you just stand by me? For the last time.

Short and sweet of someone begging their love one before they passed away to stand by them one last time.

Day 25 Christmas Log Blog: Victory! We have reached Christmas!

After all blood and sweat of Christmas presents and everything today has arrived for all of us in the UK. To be able to spend time with our family and friends at this amazing time of year. However I had the amazing gift so far this year is from you guys who continuing to follow my Christmas Advent

Calendar Blogging and reading my other blogs that I have completely forgotten about.

Without you guys support of tuning into my blogging world I don’t think I would have the strength to care on; yet you guys proved to me that I’m worthy, my writing is worth more than just getting paid for (even if I was getting paid for it) and gives me the sense of hopeful as I’ve now completed my first month into my third year of blogging I can look forward to 2018 to work on some more preparation for what’s around the corner.

I would like to say Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all of my readers and followers. I hope you have received the things that you have wanted and enjoy your day whatever you are doing. Love you all. Stay safe.

Day 20 Christmas Log Blog: “Her name was Honey and his name was Brian”

It was one dark winters night in December. Brian had just finished college in Old Woking he was heading through a gap in between some old cottages that had seemed to have been there dating back before Second World. He really didn’t think about it to be honest his grandmother didn’t mention it to him about it; he was only told snippets of some stories but he wasn’t allowed to ask why because he could see that she was still upset about it, even though so many years has passed but it still stayed with her.

He didn’t realise that he was actually sitting at the bus stop in Kingfield Green when he turned to look at his watch that use to be his father’s before he had died in the car crash with his mother just a day old and hadn’t been given a name yet. Ever since then it was just him, his grandmother and his uncle and aunt. His uncle is his dad’s brother he was more of the father figure when he came home from serving; Brian always knew his grandmother hated it when his uncle had to go away because they all knew something in the past would set her off, but wouldn’t tell them other than taking her to the cemetery and stay put in the car as she wanted to be left alone.

Brian on the other hand knew that his uncle and dad grew up in the shadows of this mystery person but something had to do with his name but none of them knew the reason why. As he cast back to looking at the time it was ten to four but no 34 had turned up yet he had been waiting for the bus for almost an hour.

Then all of the sudden the old double decker 34 bus had arrived; to which it look like it was ready to break at any moment, he didn’t blame it to be honest and he got on the bus and sat at the back instead of being at the top like he normally does. The interior was that old mud like brown colour with the seats looking like they were out of carpet material than any other material with a splash of green into it.

There was sounds of tapping and ticking noises all around the bus which sounded like a bomb was going to explode but he was pretty sure it would of gone off ages ago before he even got onto the bus. Brian looked down at his bag thinking what he needed to get out of it but he didn’t realise for a moment that it actually changed.

As he looked up again that’s when reality had hit him hard; he had gone back in time but not sure what year it was but he soon work it out in no time, well maybe he can work it without any help. As looked down the gang way as the bus bulled over he had noticed that a young women and a solider climbing on board; they had made their way towards the back of the bus near him, the women looked familiar but couldn’t think where but all of the sudden it dawned on him. The women was his grandmother and the mystery man was her boyfriend at the time.

The women said “hello” sat down near him and the solider saluted to him to which gave Brian a puzzled worried look before he realised what he was wearing and quickly saluted back. The solider sat down next to the woman. The woman looked worried that Brian didn’t know what he was doing but made a small talk to him as she turned round. “Awful Time isn’t Sargent” she said. It dawned on Brian what year it was; he quickly replied “yes terror able but I’m pretty sure we would win this”, “with your expertise sir I’m pretty sure we will” replied the private.

The fact that he soon realised that private is the one that his grandmother gets sad about. He pressed his button to leave the bus. He heard “good call sir…your being tracked” he murmured to Brian who hadn’t noticed that a few dodgy people were lingering had disappeared up to the top deck. That’s when Brian had an idea he got up and said to the other two “you two come with me…if I’m in danger so are you” they both stood up along side a few other soldiers who knew the que of their safety. He explained to the bus driver that he should get off the bus right now as well as it was only the soldiers that were actually left on the bus and the group of people who weren’t in uniform but he realised what was going on.

They pulled over making them think that someone was getting off and coming on so it didn’t matter as much to them what was happening down stairs. As the Private was last to get off the bus he chucked a grenade onto the bus both Private and Brian told “Honey” the lady to run and all the soldiers, the bus driver and both “Brians” started to run to the dip of the bank side of the field. The grenade exploded to which point that bus was now lit alight but it didn’t accurately go to plan because now the air raid sound started to go off.

Brian heard the Private murmured a swear word under his breathe; he knew perfectly well that wasn’t meant to happen, he didn’t care really even if his uniform says otherwise. He told him it’s alright things happen for a reason that couldn’t be helped. The Private was taken back that Brian had quoted him on something that he would normally say. “Now we need to run to find shelter for these two right now” said Brian as he ordered all the men to get to safety of the nearest barracks door as it wasn’t too far just across the field; both Private and Brian had to take care of Honey and the bus driver, there was a shelter not far from where they were if Brian remembered rightly.

Not even sure how he got to DeepCut in the first place but there was a little stone army shelter thing that was ready to be used in case the Germans had ever invaded England. They just about managed to get to the bunker but Brian somehow managed to get shot in the back by someone to whom they couldn’t see; Private and the bus driver dragged him into the bunker, before he got shot anymore by the unseen agent or solider at the time.

Honey managed to find the first aid kit in Brian’s bag; to which to her surprise had her name on it but didn’t ask any questions at all because it wasn’t the time to ask, or cause a seen as Brian was blacking out due to the amount of blood that was coming out of his leg. The Private had noticed that Brian had actually shot twice but they only heard it one gun shot. All three throughout the night endlessly trying to keep Brian alive by the morning when rescue had arrived he didn’t make it.

In the distance Brian could hear a voice talking to him. He slowly woke up from his coma and he noticed that it was his grandmother talking to him about the time she had tried to save a sergeant life but he had passed away in action of trying to save her, the bus driver and grandad. Himself Brian did the same thing on the bus when he soon realised that the bus was going to go off any second because someone had left a bomb on the bus.

Sunday Special/Sunday Online Diary Entries: Never Lie To A Woman – Based On A Story

Here’s a short story that should serve as a lesson for all men, NEVER LIE TO A WOMAN, she will find a way to see right through your lies and catch you red handed. This man learned it the hard way.

A man phones his wife and asks her: “Honey I’ve been asked to go fishing in China with my boss for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get the promotion. So could you please pack enough clothes for a week, set out my rod & fishing box. We’re leaving from office & I’ll swing by the house to pick my things. Oh, Please pack my new blue silk pyjamas!”

The wife noticed that there’s something fishy in her husband’s story but since she was a good wife she listened to her husband and did exactly as he told her. After a week the husband returned home, looking a bit tired but happy to have done a good job. The wife immediately started asking about the weekend, how it was, if he’d caught any fish and so on.

The husband said: “Yes, Lots of Salmon, Blue gill & a few Swordfish. But why didn’t you pack my blue silk pyjamas?”

To which the wife responded: “I did…..They’re in your fishing box”.

By a Nigerian Friend

#throwbackthursday: The day I met the Prince? – Story Based

Call me the storyman for one I am the one with all the stories. You might think your fully awake; however we all know that your just about to drop off to sleep one way or another, unless your one of those people who are so tired that you actually can’t sleep until realised that you have just fallen asleep with your eyes open. Now have you heard the day one ordinary girl met one unexpected person that she wouldn’t expected ever. No! Snuggle up and let me tell you the story how she met her true prince.

It was never going to be an ordinary day for me well at least I don’t think so but I like to keep to myself as the best I can. Until one day in the summer I get a message from this Prince of England that everyone in the country and the world fancied. Me I couldn’t care less but secretly I liked him too but not overly obsessed with the whole idea. The fact that he found me just on his own accord and what not on instagram whatever social media I had at the time.

Yet we hit it off really well took him a few attempts to convince me that I’m making the right decision of saying ‘yes’ to going out with him but in the end I agreed. We continued to talk everyday without fail. However we somehow managed to loose each other thinking that we were talking to each other but people were imposing us. Then managed to reconnect one way or another after finding out that we had been talking to fraudsters.

As I was walking down my road not really thinking about anything; I just finished my morning work run shift the road and the path was still icy because the sun hasn’t come round the front to melt it. I missed my footing and started to slip as I started to fall someone had managed to grab hold of me before I fell to the ground hard. I wasn’t really expecting anyone to have been following me home or walking down the same road as me.

I looked round to see who it was who had kindly stopping me from falling any further. There stood 6ft2 man, bulking muscles, ginger hair and the most cheekiest smile you can ever ask for. ‘Caspain’ I answered like my chest had been squeezed all of the air out of me. I knew I had my massive grin on my face because I had immediately wrapped my arms around him and kissed him. I had never ever felt so happy in my life that he had finally came to rescue me from my ivory tower.

The Fear Of The Unknown 

How can one dream; turn into a reality of another’s one soul, but she’s not all cracked up to be. Is she?

For the rest of the night seemed to be quiet; Darrell woke up a few times as he heard me tossing and turning, along with a few murmuring of words that he just about make out. He scribbled them down before he could forget what they were; but one name was really bothering him, he only know a little bit about him but it was his duty of care to protect me. 

Darrell had his work iPad next to him; he brought up the whole scan picture, name app that security and him use on a daily basis. So he typed in Lawerence Windsor. Whilst he waited for the information to come up; there was a knock on the door, he got up and slowly crept over. He was starting to sweat from his brow; panicking that he just me on my own, as he slowly opened the door. There stood Caspian. Looking like he couldn’t sleep at all; he mumbled something like I just punched Luka’s lights out, well nearly until he was convinced that no one will know that he spent the night with me. Just to protect me throughout the night. 

So Darrell agreed to let him in; but on the one condition this can’t keep on happening, until it all gets sorted. Not even your grandmother shouldn’t know about this. He knew what he was talking about. Darrell had completely forgot about what he was doing on the work iPad; he placed down next him as he laid on the sofa, I could feel Caspian’s strong arms wrapping around me. He could feel me relaxed in his arms; like the dream that I was dreaming about had disappeared, the rest of the night was quiet. 

Until there was a disturbance outside the room; hush angry sounds which disturbed me, Caspian and Darrell, before any of us could move Luka came in. With complete bewildered like he had just seen something or someone; he claimed that he had just seen Lawerence Windsor, lurking in the grounds in the early hours of this morning. I could feel Caspian feeling tense and starting to get worked up about it all. It frightened me a bit but he soon realised what he was doing; quickly apologies for what he did, we all knew that me and Caspian were in danger and need to get out of the house quickly. 

Fortunately the armed police and more security came as quickly as possible; we went to a different location on which I didn’t know, I was to afraid to ask anyone about it. I could see Caspian out of the corner of my eye; he was too mad too say anything, he caught me looking on which made me look another way. He knew that I knew he was mad; he tried to not show it, then he realised he was starting to frown, that got him more annoyed. 

We had finally got to our destination; I could see a little lady and a tall gentleman, they were standing nice and straight. More to the point well dressed than anything else. I heard Caspian say ‘buckets full of potatoes’ that’s when I knew who they were. I gently smiled I knew what he meant; just funny that he had that posh boy about him, that he has to be respectable person with everyone. 

As we fully stopped; I so wanted to stay in the car but I knew we had to get out of the car, especially me of all people. It took me a while to get out of the car; just before I could the elderly man who looked so powerful, I could only imagine he was Caspian’s grandfather Tyrone came over and opened the door. 

‘It’s okay they’ve got him now. Your safe’ he said holding out his hand in offer of helping me out of the jeep and for reassurance that everything was alright. From then on me and Caspian we became more close and in love than ever before due to the fact that I wasn’t under threat from anyone no more. 

Invisible Magic Part 2

So far we have learnt that we have met, Tom Kennedy, Mrs, Ingram, Pfftten and a Kennedy worker. Yet why does Tom look so ill? Any thoughts what you might think it maybe? We’re you surprise what it was actually wrong with him? What are your thoughts on this next parter? Comment below and let me know. – My Author notes. 

It was long that there was a loud crashing sound coming from the kitchen back door; like someone was breaking into the house, Tom and his colleague “as we might as well call him that now as we have established roughly who is and what he does” Author notes as they were waiting for Mrs. Ingram to scream but nothing happened to which point which part of the house was she in. Just as the men leaving the study quietly; Tom pressed a button behind a picture, they were about to go a bit further as they heard Mrs Ingram coming down the stairs sitting on about Pfftten breaking the back door window not realising he was actually missing at that point. The man that was there to help whispered harshly “shh Mrs Ingram…we have an intruder…get into the study and stay there close the door and lock it.” She wasn’t impressed how she was spoken to before she was about to give him; a piece of her mind, she heard the door being kicked into. So which meant she scurried off into the study and locked herself into the study. 

As soon as she locked it on the final lock; she looked at the time on the mantelpiece, it read 16:45pm. She looked out of the window it was pitch black; the moon was starting shine brightly as she drew near to the window, to see if it was a full moon or not. She looked up and there it was a full moon. Mrs Ingram could feel the house tense in every join that it had; the clock on the mantelpiece face came alive, “oh Pfftten where are you! It’s too late! I’ve got to go to the department for high red alert!” Cried the clock. 

The old small Father Time clock had disappeared; leaving Mrs Ingram alone in the room forgetting that under the foot whole of the desk had an underground, for this sort of thing. That’s when she heard Tom cry out in pain and hearing the colleague swear loudly; almost getting hit by Tom transformation and the intruders dark magic, fortunately for the colleague he wasn’t the first person Tom had gone for. To his great surprise he watched Tom go for the intruders; whilst taking out the whole wall of the back door, leaving an imprint of a 12ft werewolf which was quite impressive for anyone to do. 

Pfftten had finally arrived with cavalry and holding the medication that Tom needed; the friend/colleague really wanted to throttle Pfftten right there and then, that’s when it was no time to do that right now. He told Pfftten to take Mr Classic and someone else to go sort Tom out whilst everyone else went with him. Everyone always forgets about Mrs Ingram who was hiding in a empty cupboard that seemed to have disappeared all it’s contents. 

One thing for sure when Mr. Classic had a few seconds to spare; he looked round to see what was going on, he couldn’t see anyway out of this mess. They needed more than 10 people to deal with both things at the same time; that’s one all of the sudden, Fred and everyone had arrived. 

 ‘I thought you might need more hands on; especially with Tom being the way he is….’ Fred paused for a moment or too just to see Pfftten failing everytime trying to take Tom out. ‘What is Pfftten trying to…..’ before he could even finish what he was going to say. 

Pfftten had managed to put a bag over Tom’s werewolf head; blown something into the bag to which point, nearly everyone except the intruders had the inkling of what just happened. Tom/werewolf like man fell landed on the intruders; surprisingly not killing them at all, Pfftten tumbled off Tom like he was in the circus. Nobody stopped him doing the rolly polly; they just moved out the way, knowing that he was just an really odd creature. 

Mr. Classic and Fred ran over took the bag of the werewolf head before he could come round; whatever Pfftten had done to him they managed to get, Tom’s medication to help him transform him back to his normal self……

Invisible Magic Part 1 

A story of 35 year old man with light brown blondish hair; on the autism spectrum, with great powers that no one could ever ask for. One he had inherited from his family line going way back; one other was just going to school that only people go there, only one that who actually wanted both had always hated the family as long as I could remember.

The house swayed precariously in the aftermath of the earthquake; was it really an earthquake after all or was something dark something, whatever it was it left the whole country into shock and frightened because United Kingdom didn’t really have earthquakes. 

However the house was an old cottage house; a quite a large house very secluded house in the middle of know where, in the middle of a cornfield with a very big river wey. No major roads or small country roads around it; you can only just make it out in the distance by the cliff roads, other than that you couldn’t really get to it unless you know how. 

At least you’ll know you won’t be disturbed by anyone; people think it’s just an abounded old cottage, that’s what it meant to be looking like in the distance but actually it’s not. It lived by none other than the man himself Tom Kennedy; oh and long with a firer breathing like animal of a dragon, and most crazy lady that Pfftten the fire breathing animal but to be fair Pfftten is the one causing her more grief than Tom. However they all get on very well; you may think why is a strapping young man like Tom living in an old house with a crazy old lady and fire breathing animal called Pfftten, I can tell you Tom likes the company of them too but due to his needs of being on the autistic spectrum, medication for another condition I can’t relieve just yet, and everything else. They both proved their worthy to him plus he can more out of them than anyone else; Tom on the other hand, you may think he has a special needs but believe me you haven’t seen how cleaver he is and how he can control it as the best he can. 

Tom does his fair share of winding Mrs .A. Ingram up especially when he sends Pfftten off on little runs for him; just to make things safer for him to leave the house being under detected, to be honest Mrs Ingram understands and the rules of this as she had worked with the Kennedy family for years. Mrs Ingram is 85 years old, quite feisty for her height at 5ft tall, with brown eyes and grey hair. However she can also be light-hearted and positive but can be awkward and is scared of mice. That’s when all of her personalities just disappear completely; no one can blame her why she hates it; when Tom sends Pfftten goes in errands but at the end of the day he does work for Tom after all, and helps her out when not needed. To be fair recently Tom hasn’t been his normal self recently; so Pfftten hasn’t been going anywhere or not too far, incase Tom has a turn with his special needs or his other condition has kicked in. 

It was one day that Tom needed Pfftten to go and collect something from an old teacher of his Mr. Classic; Mrs Ingram and Pfftten knew he was running out of that as they always check, when he goes to bed how much he had left. It doesn’t bother him that they do that because he knew he wouldn’t tell them unless it was too late; that’s when all hell breaks loose, to the point of the whole department of the Kennedy’s department descend on the place. Its not the first time he’s done that to be honest and it won’t be the last. 

Pfftten left when someone from the department came just incase something does happen; they know when he gets low on the medication that he need, if both Mrs. Ingram and Pfftten remembers to inform them first before hand. Either way no one wins either way. 

As they were waiting; Tom and one of the department people who were there, worked on something that was bothering Tom quite a lot because this invisible magic that caused the whole county to have an earthquake could not be explained. Two hours later Pfftten was still not back yet; he should be here by now thought Tom as he looked at the clock on the mantelpiece in his office, unless the clock stopped of course….