Everyday Post: “When you love someone” – Story Based

Soul searching, heartbroken, eyes wide open and some say “you’re only crying in the dark”. Yet as you start to grow life changes, rearrange things like you didn’t want them to but as times passes some say “you’re only crying in the dark”. He promised you his love would last forever but the day he said “good bye” all you wanted to do was to lay down and die.
When you loved someone really loved someone and you lost that one then there’s nothing really matters; no more forgiveness, no more politeness because there was no one else could take his place no one can. Come together honey let him go now honey save you’re heart from all the pain because they say “no more crying in the dark”
You got to break loose to be able to have some fun because you need to let yourself go and come undone but I know your friends mean well but when you loved someone really loved someone and you lost that one. Whether it was death, just walked out or something there’s no forgiveness, no politeness because you know that there’s no one else to really take his place.
There really anyone to take his place because you really loved that someone so much you know you’ll be never the same again.


Friday Online Diary Entries: “This ain’t a love goodbye” – Story Based

Every night I remembered that evening the way that I looked at you with the way that you knew something was wrong; that’s when I told you that I was leaving you because the amount of times you hurt me with the cruel words and the falsie accusations that you made against me, you didn’t realise how mean it was and the same old frustrations that you took out on me. You didn’t realise that you’ve thrown all of it away because of what you done.

Now I’m a little bit lost without you I’m just a bloody big mess inside this isn’t a love song goodbye. Since I’ve walked away hoping that you would come running after me I’m so tired of being lost and I’m so tired of loosing, all the pain, the hurt and confusion I’ve been so mad about things that I can’t control I’m not one of those people who back down. Yet I’m always finding away coming back to fight even if I’m scare and frightened. I’ll be back and I’ll be coming back to life.

As I know that I’m ready to save myself for all of this pain that it’s not my fault to begin with; yet when the scares are ready to heal I know that I’ll be the one ready to heal properly, I know that this love ain’t a good bye because you know that I’m gonna fight for you no matter what it takes.

Thursday Online Diary Entries: “The Name of the game” – Story Based

I’ve seen you twice in a short time it’s only been a week since we started seeing each other to me it’s seems that every time I’m getting more and more open hearted. I was an impossible case to be with because no one could reach me to help; where my anxiety and depression took the toll of me but I think when I see your face there’s a lot that you can teach me, so I wanna know what the name of the game? As I open up too you does that mean anything to you?

What’s the name of the game? Please temp me because I have to know as I’m a very bashful child that’s beginning to grow. The way you make me talk, the way you make me feel and the way you make me show. The fact that I’m trying to conceal but if I put the trust in you would you let me down? Would you laugh at me if I told you that I care for you and that I said that I love you? Would you feel the same way too? It’s just that I want to know.

I just want to know the name of the game because I have no friends no one to see as I’m never invited but now I’m here talking to you. No wonder I get so excited because of the sound of your voice and the way you see through me; got that feeling you have to give me no choice which means a lot to me, I want to know….oh yes I want to know the name of the game because I was an impossible case does it mean anything to you? But I think I can see it in your face because it means a lot to me. What’s the name of the game? Can you feel it the way I do? I’m a curious child it means a lot to me that you made me your choice.

I just want to know….oh yes I just want to know….

Everyday Post: “I’m alive” – Story Based

When I get my wings to fly I will no that I’m alive as you call for me; as I hear you breathe next to me that’s when I I know that I’ll get my wings to fly because you make me feel that I’m alive, when you look at me across the room I know I can touch the sky as you touch me I know I’m alive and as you blessed the day I just drift away all my worries die. I’m just glad that I’m alive.

You set my heart on fire filling me with love because you made me a women in the clouds above. I couldn’t get much higher than this because my spirit takes a flight because you make me alive. As you call on me I hear you breathe that’s when spirits are higher because god knows that I’ll be the one standing by through the good and the through trying times. It’s only just begun but I can’t wait for the rest of my life. I get wings that would make me fly because god knows that I’m alive on this new day.

I was waiting for so long for a miracle to come because everyone told me to be strong never shed a tear just hold on. Through the darkness and the good times I knew I would make it through the world that I had thought I’d had it all but I was waiting for you; hush now I see the light in the sky that almost blinding me I couldn’t believe that I’ve been touched by my angel with love. Knowing that I am alive now where the rain came down and washed my tears; I let it fill my soul and drown my fears because it shattered the walls for a new sun, and you opened a new day for me to take with you by my side.

When there’s been dark and now there’s light at the end of the tunnel the pain that was there before has been placed by joy and happiness. Where there’s been weakness I have found my strength as all in the eyes of you being there for me. I just can’t believe that you’re my angel that came for me with love and reassurance because you now have brought me a new day with you in it.

Sunday Special: “Singing my heart out” – Mothers Day Special UK (11.3.18) – Story Based

In the winds of the British Isles words float from every country and commonwealth that belong to the United Kingdom; even with every tune from every country playing for Mother’s Day, the words sounds like how much people love each other especially their mothers who may have passed away or out in war zones or somewhere else.
Some words they can’t be spoken but only sung. So when you hear a thousand voices shouting love there’s a place where there is actually time in this life where you can sing what you are feeling. I remember you telling me to find my feet and stand my ground because don’t you see the whole world is listening to what we have to say right now?
The winds sing it louder sing it clearer knowing that everyone will hear you because as your making some of the noises you would find your voice tonight; make it stronger by singing it together which will make this moment of love last forever, even the love and the young are shouting their love tonight.
To be able to sing we had to wait like a lifetime to be able to see a thousand faces to celebrate together; you had brought hope, brought life conquer fear when it wasn’t always so easy but as you stood your ground by keeping your faith, yet you don’t see it right now but the world is listening to what we have to say.
As we sing it louder and more clearly knowing that everyone will hear you speak because you always told us to make a noise to find our voices tonight; by singing it stronger and being together we can make this feeling last forever, wether your old or young we are shouting love tonight.
Some words only be spoken but otherwise they can’t be spoke but only to be sung. To be able to hear the thousand voices is to be able to open your window of your bedroom hearing the words of love, life and hope. To be able to hear a thousand voices shouting love for you.

Thursday Online Diary Entries: “You know me” Story Based Extra

If any man can pick what he fancied he should just live and breed in captivity because it’s just pointless; you love what you’re doing what you like, when you like, how it makes you happy because only you yourself know yourself. What a waste of all this peace when baby steps and two more sleeps until I get the sorry from you because I get hysterical, historical of love like it’s just a chemical thing between us. Give me something to stop me from having a complete melt down from all of the pain only you know me.

Since you went away my heart breaks everyday because you don’t know as you’re not there to see me cry everyday; you simply found the words to make a lot of feelings fade away or model our feelings, only you know me when I need you the most. I’m doing fine most of the time as the sun shines what are you thinking? Yet at state of my mind can go worst than it can go with me drinking thunderbird wine but I’m drinking because you brought back memories that I told you about.

Yet only you know me when I get into the worst state imaginable but sorry doesn’t cut it out anymore as it’s become more comical than anything that I’ve been through. It’s my life that your toying with; along with my happiness, only wish you knew how horrible this feeling is and them you would know how truly I’m feeling. Only you know me and how to calm me down every single day.

Thursday Online Diary Entries: “Your My Symphony” – Story

Dearest Caspian

Since I’ve met you I’ve been symphonies all I had ever heard was silence but yet there’s always a rhapsody for me and you; there’s always every melody that seems to be timeless but life was just stringing me along, until that you came into my life to which you found that string and you have started to cut each long bit of the string to cut me loose so that you can be in the centre of my world and now I can’t sing on my own because I can’t find the key without you not being by my side.

Now our song is on repeat making me smile thinking of us in that big ballroom dancing with your heartbeat up against to mine. Yet when your gone I’m left in the middle of the room; I just feel incomplete but if you want the truth I will tell you right now, I just want to be apart of your symphony like you would hold me tight and not let me go. I just want to be part of your symphony like our love song “Sad Song” by We The Kings Feat Elena Coats will you hold me tight and not let go because I’m sorry if it’s all too much everyday that your here I’m healing knowing that I’m not running out of luck.

Yet when you’re not here I’m running out of luck; I’m running around like a lost child because I’m frightened because my insecurities and me going off the rails the thought of that would happen without you. I think I won’t be able to recover from the pain from it all or us but yet we seem to get through anything together. I never thought that these feelings would come back to find me until I hear the symphonies in the winds; I knew it was you saying that your still coming for me because you know it’s too much to bare, you know we’ve got everything worth fighting for and all I heard before was just silence. I hear our a rhapsody and every melody on the radio because it’s so timeless for us.

Your my symphony and my everything……

The Fear Of The Unknown Part 1

How can one dream; turn into a reality of another’s one soul, but she’s not all cracked up to be. Is she?

One night I was in bed alone; in one big massive mansion, security stood outside my door, my body guard was sleeping on the couch that was by the fire place. I always liked it when Caspian gets over protective; especially when I’m ill and I couldn’t go to a social event with him, he wanted to make sure that I was properly protected even if I was with him or not. 

It took me awhile to dose off because I had been crying; my throat was hurting, struggling to breath. I refused them to call Caspian because I knew how important this function was for him; I didn’t want him to panic or worry that my mental health or my current bug or something whatever it was to ruin his big moment for his business. 

I was slowly drifting off to sleep; Darrell my bodyguard looked over, he said quietly as he was coming over. “Come on I think that’s enough work for one night” as he took my iPad off me and laid it on the side table. He then put blankets over me because he knew I liked to cuddle the duvet for comfort….

As I laid my head on the soft pillows; my eyes were getting heavier and heavier, I knew my medication and paracetamol had started to kick in. Due to the heavy anxiety attack I had endured the hour before; which lead me to struggling to breathe, a massive headache and really bad sore throat. Everything was too much for me to handle. I was completely out of it; I was in a deep sleep no one couldn’t wake me up, I had found myself in by this pond pondering of what I should do. 

The water was deep and inviting; this was when I was at my weakest point in my life, no one was here to stop me from doing anything. I had started to walk in; I could barely hear voices shouting my name, I stopped to have look with my eyes full with tears. I could see a man in a white shirt and cameral colour trousers on running in; couldn’t even think who it was until he picked me up in his arms, as I put my arms around his neck I could smell his aftershave of Jean Paul Glitter. My favourite aftershave on any man; this one I liked more, I knew it was Caspian coming running in after me. 

We had reached to the bank where everyone else were; I had started to shake in his arms, he knew I was freezing as I was only wearing a strappy top and shorts. The air had changed; winds have started to pick up more heavy, clouds had formed to which part turned dark and black. Threatening with a massive downpour of rain; I could hear him giving orders, to head back to the vehicles quickly and officially. 

I could feel the rain starting to fall; Caspian’s nice white cotton feel to it, that I always have thought he was going to burst out of them with his muscles and joked about that he works out too much was getting wet. I was murmuring something to Caspian about something but he couldn’t make out what I was saying. I could hear his panic in his voice with a bit of reassurance that we were nearly there; I struggled to open my eyes, my lips were turning blue. I could hear the doors wide open; blankets wrapped around me, the doors closing I could feel Caspian sitting in the back of the car. He told me that he was going to take me back to his place; without any arguments, or anything because he was a lot closer and he can look after me better. 

The feeling of being a stranger in his house was like feeling a stranger in a different land; as I woke up in in a cold sweat, fever as everyone rushed to my aid even Caspian who could hear her from the other side of the house….

I actually woke myself up from the dream screaming; Darrell and the security were running to my aid, Darrell was trying to calm me down whilst few others were on their phones calling around to see where Caspian was. It wasn’t before long that he had finally arrived; running in from the front of the house to my room, I had begged him not to leave me on my own. I know the rules that his family had to follow; if he could he would, Darrell and Caspian’s bodyguard Luka’s had agree along with the security that it wasn’t the best solution but as long as I manage to fall back to sleep. Knowing that he was in the house; Darrell will sleep close by even further, as long as I need him…..

When Your Gone!


A song that got me thinking about a story; which everyone can relate to in anyway to it, the song was called “When Your Gone!” By Avril Lavigne. This story means more to me in so many ways but I didn’t put a name of the person or mine; I thought as you as a soul readers have the right to relate to the story as someone you love the most by putting their name in, and then yours at the end. 

When Your Gone! 

Dear ………………. 

I lost the closet friend that I could ever have had; you always know when, I always needed time on my own but I never thought I’d need you there when I cry. You always were there when I did and the days feel like years when I’m alone; the bed where you lie is always made up on your side, when I watched you walked away in my dreams I would count the steps that you take. Do you see how I much I need you right now?

When you’re gone; the pieces of my heart are missing you as the start cracking into tiny little bits, when you’re gone as I look at your photo the face I came to know is missing too. The world that I need to hear always got me through the day; that made it okay. I miss you.

I’ve never felt this way before the things that I do reminds me of you; the clothes that you lie on the floor, they just smell like you and all the things that you do put a smile on my face. I knew we were made for each other. I ever wanted you to know that everything that I do; I gave it all my heart and soul, now I can hardly breathe. All I need is to be able to feel you here with me.

Love you so much when your gone. I miss you.
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