As we forgive each one of those Who sins against us,
lead us not into temptation
But deliver us from evil.
For the kingdom
The power and the glory are yours
Now and forever
Give thanks to the fallen Soldiers in World War 1 and World War 2, Fawklins, and the current wars out in Syria and other war zones. To the 100 years of women servicing who are now allowed to become a full member of the army. Today we wouldn’t be here today without the soldiers who gave up their lives to save ours. Today marks remembrance service and 11th Day, 11th Hour, 11th month was the day of the end of World War 1. We shall not forget those.
Heart beats fast. As you watch and wait in the trenches; colours and promises of how to be brave? How can you love when you just afraid to fall? As I’m watching you standing alone in the no man’s land; all of your doubt suddenly goes away somehow, maybe your one step closer.
You have died every day just waiting to come home; as you look at the photo of your love one, in the silence and the wind had picked up you could hear in the wind. “Darling, don’t be afraid because I have loved you for more than a thousand years. I will love you for another thousand more”
Time stood still. As I watched you look at her picture every single second; I could here you whisper “I will be brave” you wouldn’t let anything be taken away from yourself, I know what’s standing in front of me with every breath and every hour that has come to this
Another day, another step closer because all along that you believed that you would find me. Time has brought you your heart as you have loved me like it has been thousand of years but I will love you for another thousand more. One step closer. One step closer. That I have died everyday waiting for you to come home; in my sleep I could hear your voice “darling, don’t be afraid I have loved you for thousands of years and I’ll love you for a thousand more. All along I believed I would find you”
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Turned the lights out in my house and the light house; in memory of you as I saw you coming, feeling the ship wreck in my mind as I opened my eyes I saw so many casualties and the wreckage. As the ground beneath my feet shock in no mans land; I heard you yelling for your life; for your king, your queen and your country. Seeing your reflection of pain from your injuries, seeing your friends, brothers, fathers, sons being killed in front of you.
You look pretty good down here; they don’t know that we’ve never been here before, I can see it in your eyes in the trenches that every bullet and swords were for us. We never learn that we’ve been here before. Just stop your crying it will be alright; the end is nearly over I’ll be home soon, just a few more bullets to get pass but it’s all too much.
It’s the sign of the times that we got to get away; we got to get away from here, I could hear your screams for your mums, your wives, girlfriends and fiancées. You got to get away from the bullets and the swords.
I see your reflection in the sands of where you laid where you have died in Dunkirk; I tried to run to the waters to stop the ships from going, nobody could hear me but it was too late they were hit. The amount of gagging that I did with my cries I couldn’t bring anything up; as I see a lot of blood in the sea, along with the lifeless bodies coming up onto the shore as I waited all day.
The waiting for the tide to come in as I hide in a boat to be lifted up by the water; half an hour turned into hours, then all of the sudden the boat became under attack. Don’t ask me if you know this is true. So I don’t have to tell you if you knew. If they got out of that boat some did and some didn’t.
You just cant hold onto water but it fills you up but it will never stay. Yet I could feel you slipping away through my fingers; like the natural disasters you have seen for days, weeks and years. As I stayed outside by the beach house; it was quiet once more, I lit a candle by the window for you to find your way home. I hope you could find you’re way home and know you can always find a place to call home up there in heaven.
I still think as I can’t help you even though I’m the near future that you made to make us feel safe and have a better life. I can feel you retreating when you took the deep wrong turn. I just wish I knew what you were thinking. My tears rising and falling for every solider who gave their lives for us. For every tear that rises and falls just like the ocean when it fills up.
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As remembrance Day is drawing in. Every city, town and villages start to decorate their areas to commentate the fallen soldiers who gave their lives for us through World War One, World war 2 and the current wars in Syria and surrounding areas. We also must remember who are still fighting today but as they return they suffer extreme mental health and lost of limbs. Who are battling the next war in their minds. This is a story of what it might be like for a survivor of a solider.
This is a story that I’ve never told. Your now listening to me as I am crying out for your help but you think I’m just doing it for attention; thinking that I’m a bad person but all this is what I have seen in the war zone, yet I have to deal with my injuries, the scaring and the mental issues such like PTSD, Depression and many more. I have to get this off my chest and let it go.
I need you take back the light that the light the war had stole because that’s a criminal and it steals like a pro. All the pain and the truth I just wear it like a battle wound; yet deep down I’m so ashamed so confused, I sit in that room thinking I’m all alone, broken and bruised.
I’m now a warrior with thinker skin and stronger than I’ve ever been I have armour that’s made out of steel because you can’t get in because I’m a warrior once again. Knowing that you can’t hurt me again with the painful memories of what I’ve seen with all of the help that I need to get me by.
It’s like I’m coming out of the ashes of burning eagle; you can save your apologies because your nothing like a liar who don’t know what’s going on in the war zone, I got shame but I’ve also got scars that I will never have to show again. I’m survivor in so many’s than you know; there’s a part of me that I can’t get back as it only took one look, and I’ll be never be the same again. Yet I’m taking my life back today as there is nothing left for you to say because you were never going to take the blame anyways.