Monday Online Diary Entries: “Just makes me want to scream” – Story Based

So tired of the injustice of the world that I live in; tired of the schemes that we have in this world it’s kind of disgusting where people don’t understand what it means, it’s kicking me down making me depressed and my anxiety is rocketing high and as I get up again the jack drops to the point of the whole system sucks.

Peaking in the shadows which will always come to the light when you tell me I’m wrong but then again you better prove me that you’re right. You’re slowly selling out of your lies because I only care about what’s mine and my rights. I’m going to get stronger because I won’t give up the fight that you started. There’s so much confusions that it makes me want to scream with all of your basing and bruising which you claim that you’re a victim but yet I know you’re scheme. I’m the one who is a victim because I’m trying to cope with every lie that you make out but you are scrutinising yourself more by shooting yourself in the foot. Somebody please have mercy on me because I just can’t take it anymore.

Stop pressuring me! Just stop pressuring me! It just makes me want to scream so tired of telling the story in your way of how it went because it’s confusing the whole situation if you’re telling the lies. Yet you think it’s okay telling it. The rules keep on changing while your playing the game just to get it your own way. I just can’t take it much longer I think I might just go insane.

Oh my god I just can’t believe what I saw as I turned on the tv this evening; I was so disgusted by all of the injustice that we suffers don’t get. As I watched on the news another child killed themselves due to bullying  and hate crime; nobody knew about it or what was going on before it was too late to intervene, it just makes me want to scream because of people don’t understand of what’s going on around them. Even if you scream and cry out for help no one will believe you.


Monday Online Diary Entries: “The truth about liars” – Story Based

You can say what you want about me and do what you want to me but guess what you cannot stop me from telling the truth of how much of a lair you are about things. I’ve been knocked down so many times in this crazy town; someone even tried to punch me in the face in L.A but there’s nothing in the world that you keep me from doing anything that I want to do, because I’m too proud and I’m too strong to let you ruining my life. At the end of the day you have to life by the code by moving on rather than feeling sorry for yourself because I haven’t got anybody around.
So I held my head high as I knew I’d have to survive through this well that’s because I made it and I don’t hate it that’s just the way it goes. I’ve done it and got through it by standing on my own two feet because I paid my dues of going out with you. You tried to hold me down. Put me down. Yet you can’t stop me. So like I just told you; you cannot will not stop me as I’ve paid my dues.
Now I’m tested everyday people who are trying to mess with me because they’ve got nothing in common because I can handle mine and I thought I better let you know that I’m no punk all because I can’t get down. Tell you the truth I don’t give a damn about who’s around that was fine until now that it took me so long to get myself here; I won’t live in fear anymore of you or you trying my shine agains, because they want to build you up before they tear you down again and it’s a struggle in trying to keep the bubble a float.
Why did you like to everyone? You can’t be trusted you good for nothing type of brother; everything that you claimed to be was a lie because you know that I would be at that place or once went there, and you think everyone will believe your sob stories but actually they come running to me and I put them straight. Why did you lie to everyone you creepy, sneaky little shit your so messed up it’s now time to leave. So bye, bye.

Monday Online Diary Entries: “I said ‘never again’ but here we are” – Story Based

I told myself that no, no never we don’t go together but hunny I couldn’t take anymore of your presence in mine being at my side all the time; now it’s two weeks later I feel such a traitor to myself because I let you in my front door as my parents told me to let you in, with such high exceptions of you being my boyfriend and you’re the one who’s creeping but yet I keep on saying never again yet here we are. A pure. Pure sweetness as you’re weakness I keep on telling myself never again but here we are.
Now I don’t rush in because of the past of mine that had happened; I bite my lip and let you know what I’m thinking I really like your game that you play, yet I’m better off without you but I just can’t live without you and no I am never going to break away from your charms and laughter. Your always going to my weakness because of your pure sweetness but here we are as I tried to run but I didn’t get very far because I can’t let go of you; I can’t take this no more because I want you in my life so much, you’re the one who manages to get inside my tower that’s under my skin.
I said never again to myself but here we are because your pure sweetness makes me feel so safe and make everything alright. Now you’re my only weakness like I said to myself never again to fall in love with someone again straight away but here we are. I said never again. I said never again. Yet here we are. You in front of me telling me that you’re not going anywhere even if I try to push you away.
You are the love of mine and your special because you leave me breathless every time I see you coming into the room. Even if I can only see you in the room knowing that I’m safe with your love and protection.
I said “never again but here we are”

Everyday Online Diary Entries: Is it snowing yet?

Yay just as I left for my morning shift for work it started to snow but not hard enough to cancel a work day. I like to watch the snow fall when I’m inside my nice warm house than being in it; I think I’m just grown out of it when it comes to playing with it because the last deep snow we had was about 8 years ago back in 2010, that’s when I literally had enough of the snow by then and not being able to do anything. Yes it got boring for a few days even if I slept through the day and it was still there haha I’m so old haha.

It cheered up my Monday for a change though. Currently stopped snowing for now but by the time your reading this it would probably be snowing again or not that’s case maybe. Who knows? Who knows? It is the U.K after all anything can happen to be honest with you. Just looked at some of my snowy pictures and just realised that I caught a snowflake a proper one if that I wonder if you can find it in one of these pictures.

There are a fair few you can see that are proper snowflakes I wonder if you can see them comment how many you can see that are proper ones. Have fun looking.

Monday Online Diary Entries: Tell me it’s not true – Story

On the Livingstone Village, flies were sometimes the first indication that someone had died yet as the old house, with its wildly overgrown garden was silent, secretive that the whole family had been cursed since there was a strange wailing sound coming from the next room. “Tell me it’s not true. Say it’s just a story” cried a woman’s voice who echoed within the empty shell of the house.
Standing by the empty overgrown house was an observer who was from a native american tribe; to which new everyone’s story one way or another in the village by living on the outskirts in the woods, people would nod or great them or sometimes would avoid them if there was a notice on the board by them with a warning. The news however broke out when they all heard what happened to two of the Borthwright couple who had once lived there.
So did y’ hear the story of the Borthwright couple as like each other as two new pins of which two different wombs born on the exact same day; yet how did one know would meet a Kennedy member would die, one knew what she was letting herself in for. Have you never hear how they both died never knowing that their eldest son also died; yet their three triplets were going to save the world, until the day that they died and when a mother cried my own dear family lie slain.
An did y’ never hear of the mother that was so cruel who brought the monster into the world; there’s a stone placed in her heart then trying to bring herself on to confess that she played this part, now come judge for yourselves how two mothers played this part. As one holds a newspaper with the two latest victims pictures on the front of the newspaper and one cried in the living room floor back at the house as we stood inside.
As both of their voices echoed in the winds and the walls the exact same words. The exact same day. Tell me it’s not true just say it’s just a story in a book or something on the news. Yet tell me it’s not true though it’s here before me; say it’s just a freaky dream, say it’s just a scene from an old movie that I use to watch many years ago.
Say it’s some clowns in a circus two players in the limelight to bring the curtain down. Say it’s just two who couldn’t even get their lines right; even if it’s just a show on the radio, so could turn over and start again and laugh again. Just tell me it’s not true say it’s only a dream that I dreamt all those years ago and the morning will come soon.
You didn’t mean it. Say you were pretending and it wasn’t the end of their lives. Just kill me instead save the innocent people; like in the old movies from years ago; say it’s just a dream and the morning will come soon, tell me as I am your mother that it’s not true. Just tell me as a parent that you didn’t mean it; so I can forgive you from the bottom of my heart, just tell me it was the pretend and it will all come to the end. I’ll take your pain away.
The most vivid memories of this village is how swiftly those who’ve made a pact can over look the fact that we can just get over the horrible deaths but then wish the reckoning could of been delayed. Yet a debt is a debt and must be paid. Yet do we blame the superstition for crime came to pass or could it be what we have come to know as the class of two innocent couple. Did you ever wonder hear how the triplets come orphans just at the age of three? Like each other has three new pins. Where both parents were born exact same day, one son born on another day and all three died on the self exact same day.
On the anniversary of every year there’s always a full moon shining and a joker is in the pack; the dealers dealt the cards but won’t take them back yet there’s a black stalking around in the next village, and a woman who’s so afraid that there’s no point of getting off without a price being paid. Maybe if you had your fingers crossed it would all be just a game and then no one wouldn’t have lost. Yet there was always a woman standing in the door way of the Borthwright’s house her dress was faded and her shows worn out like she was still alive but people knew who it was. Every time the anniversary came up.

Monday Online Diary Entries: Fight for this love

Wether you believe this or not it’s up to you. I write stories for Online Diary Entries for the day sharing my emotions and etc on how I feel that day. I know the truth behind each one.

Terry I would never stop loving you even if you continue to think of the worse of me; when I know you to well but with the words that you say know isn’t true, too much of it can make you sick even when you’ve been good and the anxiety can be the curse. Just watching you going down this hard road knowing that I’m loosing you to the anxiety. Knowing too much can hurt you and I but is it better for worse? Or are we just sitting in reverse like we’re gong backwards? I know where we going but this idea driving fast can we slow down because I don’t want to crash again.

Just want to let you know that your not alone in this thing; there’s always a place in me that you can call home, whenever you feel like we’re growing apart we can just go back to the start. Anythig that’s worth having. Is more enough worth fighting for quitting is out of the question even when times get tough we got to fight for some more. I just want to fight for this love.

Now that everyday isn’t going to be no picnic. Love isn’t going to be a walk in park like we use to. All you can do is what we have the best for now. Don’t be afraid of the dark. Just keep fighting for me, like I’m fighting for you. I’m always going to love you and I know that you don’t mean those words.

You know I’m always helping you out no matter what in my own little way. I’ve never left your side for a second. Your the one that pushed me away not me. I’ve always been there taking the horrible words and everything else because I know it’s not you. Don’t loose me entirely don’t make rash decisions that you know that you’ll regret. Remember that I always love you.