Thursday Online Diary Entries: “The Name of the game” – Story Based

I’ve seen you twice in a short time it’s only been a week since we started seeing each other to me it’s seems that every time I’m getting more and more open hearted. I was an impossible case to be with because no one could reach me to help; where my anxiety and depression took the toll of me but I think when I see your face there’s a lot that you can teach me, so I wanna know what the name of the game? As I open up too you does that mean anything to you?

What’s the name of the game? Please temp me because I have to know as I’m a very bashful child that’s beginning to grow. The way you make me talk, the way you make me feel and the way you make me show. The fact that I’m trying to conceal but if I put the trust in you would you let me down? Would you laugh at me if I told you that I care for you and that I said that I love you? Would you feel the same way too? It’s just that I want to know.

I just want to know the name of the game because I have no friends no one to see as I’m never invited but now I’m here talking to you. No wonder I get so excited because of the sound of your voice and the way you see through me; got that feeling you have to give me no choice which means a lot to me, I want to know….oh yes I want to know the name of the game because I was an impossible case does it mean anything to you? But I think I can see it in your face because it means a lot to me. What’s the name of the game? Can you feel it the way I do? I’m a curious child it means a lot to me that you made me your choice.

I just want to know….oh yes I just want to know….


Tuesday Online Diary Entries: “When I’m alone” – Story Based

My knight in shining armour always comes to rescue me but as I turn my back you were gone in a flash like you always do. You’ve always gone off somewhere else like I shouldn’t follow or catch your name but you always know where I am and know my name but never stuck around to let me thank you. When the phone rang I thought it was you so I sprung out of my seat like a kid who just got out of school; it was almost had my heart in my mouth, as I choked as I answered the phone but always and never never ever you. I just want to scream like a child as my insides went wild with frustration as I fall to the floor. When I’m alone with you. You make me feel you make me feel who I am and be who I want to be; yet when I’m alone with you, you are the one you are the one for me.

When I reach out in my sleep I only grabbing the air to which for me it kills me inside and to think that you never cared and it’s hopeless because you always run off somewhere else. Until I throw a tantrum because I want the attention from you but I don’t understand why your being such a phantom? Every time I see us in a photo it just reminds me of home; like you’re always around me until the next time you leave, please don’t go without me and no don’t go no!

When I’m alone with you I’m always happy safe you just make me feel like I’m a part of your world; like I’m special to be with because I know when I’m alone with you, I know that you’re the one for me and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. There’s no one else in the world that I don’t want to be with; just please come back to me as soon as possible, I like having you around me and you are the one I keep checking my phone for emails and messages for hope. Please don’t leave me…

Thursday’s Online Diary Entries: Thank god Valentines Day is over!

Thank god Valentines Day and it’s Challenge is over for another year; I hope you liked the Valentines Challenge this year give a thumbs up, and a follow if you like to see more challenges and etc throughout the year and so forth. For me Valentine’s Day for me is a waste of space I always hated it; this year I hated it even more to be honest because I wished that I stayed in bed to be honest with you, all I did was having personal problems, crying, stressed and everything else. To which to be fair could of been helped if everything went to plan if things actually happened but it didn’t.

Really don’t want to think about it to be honest. What is the point of pleasing everyone? When other people can’t be bothered to respect anyone or do anything on how they want it to be? Not even sure who actually invented it in the first place to be honest. I’m just generally having a rant because I can really on a Wednesday night writing this and hit published.

I haven’t ranted for awhile over stupid things to be honest. That’s what you get when you go to sleep at 5:30 in the morning and then everything still falls apart because of it all. At least I made lasagne from scrap with help of course and I didn’t really particularly want to do it in the first place. Yes of course it’s all good to learn and all when you have your own place and etc. Rant over because I’m starting to repeat myself and getting worked up by things that I can’t control.

Day 7 Of 30 Days Challenge For Autumn: Most Haunted New Series

Founding out that Most Haunted was back on just in time for Halloween; I watched one last night (Friday 27th October 2017), today I watched the rest of them (Saturday 28th October 2017) and I am very surprised and pleased that they have gone bigger and better in this series than the other ones that they have done previously.

The fun facts about this new series are that things are happening to Glen the sceptic who had to spoil everything but now things that happening to him; Darren however I do feel for him to a certain extent, but he really got on my nerves to the point of if I was a ghost I would of punched him in the face a few times.

Heavy objects been thrown towards them; objects been broken due been launched at walls, playing the piano and many more. So far the series 20 is amazing and can’t wait for the next few weeks.

How to live with toxic people?

A new category of life that involves people through all walks of life.

In this world that we live in there is so many people that are so toxic; even if you managed to get away from it all, your very lucky to be able to do so. Not many of us can avoid that sort of thing or who can break the cycle but then drawn back into it one way or another. I’ve been in a similar situation that I wish I never did go down that road to begin with. Like the rest of the blogs that I have done this week but two different ones because for this one it’s completely different to the others that I’ve talked about.

You may think no one is toxic enough to ruin your life. Wrong! Throughout my life of my first 6 years of being in my 20’s I have come across a lot of toxic people. From being with them as in a relationship to being friends to ditching them completely and breaking free from it all. The fact you know you break away from them but when you do; you always find yourself either back talk to them or they come back talking to you. Either which isn’t good.

You remember that year of 2003 when Britney Spears brought out the song “Toxic” with the words of “with a taste of your lips, I’m on a ride. You’re toxic I’m slipping under, with a taste of a poison paradise, I’m addicted to you, don’t you know that you’re toxic, and I love what you do, don’t you know that you’re toxic”

Everyone has one way or another had that taste of people are poisonous they always come back for more, and mess your feelings up or you know the history. Unless it’s completely different story but it’s toxic for the both of you.

However taking control of the situation is the best key for everything. Knowing that you can be in charge of your destiny no matter what. For me I taken control on things where people who come in and out of my life. If they want to come in and out of my life that’s fine because they are busy thats cool with me. If they don’t want to stay put in my life they can stay away; at the end of the day I don’t want my emotions to be played with or get my hopes up at the end of the day.

The Unknown Fear: Fix You

The story of someone whom everyone tired to fix but need to help themselves to make it work.

When you try your best to fight what you want in life; but you don't succeed the way you wanted, but you feel like you don't need anyone's help and when you can't sleep but you feel so tired. That's when you feel like your stuck in reverse like my Aunt Marie.

As the tears came streaming down your face; the fear of what you were going to lose something that you can't replace, when it's someone that you love what could be worse? Their lights will guide you home. As they wrap their arms around you they will ignite your bones as they whisper in your ear “I will try and fix you”

Weather your high up above or down below; my love for you won't go away from you, and I know that your love for me won't let me go either. You will never know without giving it a try of fixing it together.

You walked into the party; like you didn't want to be there, I know that you didn't want to as I held up close to me and you had one on the mirror watching all of the girls wanting to be my partner. It's okay I'm not leaving you as you have me in your inner inner circle. You can be so vain when this song comes on and you start thinking about you don't you, don't you.

“It's okay” I whispered “I'll fix this”

Giving you a squeeze before I made my way to change it; as I turned back round I saw you running for the door, I knew I had to go after you to be with you. That's what I do because I love you to the more than the moon and back.

Annabel Inorin – Case Updated

I am writing to inform you about Annabel Inorin and her family. So please don't just skim through the blog/article; just don't think oh everyone dies one day, Annabel never got to see the world.

“My name is Annabel Inorin. I am 11 year old girl from Nigeria in West Africa; I have a medical condition called “Arrhythmias”, this is where my heart is too sick to do anything that everyone else my age does”
I'm writing to inform you that between 31st July 2017 – 6th August 2017 Annabel Inorin has passed away in her sleep with her family around her. Annabel had a medical condition called “Arrhythmias” which is a disease that effected her heart. The doctors and nurses have tried to make everything that they could to make her feel comfortable as much as possible; but due to lack of treatment and medical medicine to help her deal with the disease, her tiny 11 year old body couldn't keep on fighting for much longer. I have huge respect for her family, her parents, her doctors and her nurses who have tried everything to help her feel comfortable and help her to be positive. Yet all the odds were stacking up against them.
I understand how they feel so much; from working with poorly children such like Annabel in the UK, seeing from first hand what certain diseases can do to you. You know that one day they might not going to make it. Each day is a new day and you never know what's going to happen. When I was told the news of Annabel it was well and truly hit home; the fact that I only just started working with this area of Africa, it really did feel like I knew her as I wrote her case few weeks ago. I feel now that I know her very well; can feel her telling me what to write, to make sure her story got told. Also she wanted to make sure that everyone knew that she now in heaven with god.
“I'm with God now mummy and daddy. It's so cool up here. I’m even allowed to run around, play with other children my age, I'm not even getting tired straight away. Guess what I feel more full of beans now than I was; as I'm getting the treatment what I need up here, I do tend to forget and when they remind me to take it easy I'm feeling dreadful. But heyho I'm free. I love you mummy and daddy, I'm watching over you and I may start doing practical jokes on you now dad like you did to me. I miss you both so much and I love you both"

Please Help By Donating

Anja Reggren Lovein – Case

Anja has been through a lot by the age of six years old; fighting for her life everyday, no one should have to go through what she has to everyday at the age of 6.

“My name is Anja Reggren Lovein; I'm from Kogi which is in middle birth of Nigeria, I am very sick not keeping any weight on due to diarrhoea. It's just me and my mum now. I would like to tell you my story through someone else so I can get my voice heard along with my mum’s voice. She's my best friend and we've been through a lot in my tiny life so far”

As you have heard little Anja’s voice talking about herself in the opening; what I'm going to tell you will be shocking for any mother, father, grandmother, grandfather, sister and brother have to go through to look after their siblings or parents, grandparents, children and grandchildren.

Anja Reggren Lovein is just 6 years old due to her health she looks like a 4 year old girl; who suffers from diarrhoea to which we all know is horrible to deal with but we can get better from it, along with doctors advice and medical care that we can get. Yet for Anja and her mum Joy they only have each other; no other family members to help, no money coming in to help Anja to get better and Anja is an only child of Joys because her father had dies two years ago.

So this means that Joy and Anja have only got each other; they can't live without each other, the fact that they are team of Lovein family they are continuing fight each battle together not just on their own. Joy not only just lost her husband two years ago; she has chosen to continue to fight, remain strong to look after her only daughter. She does not want to loose another person in her family; Anja has a part of her dad inside her that Joy can't live without, Joy just wants and wishes her baby girl to be well enough to grow up and enjoy life like everyone else. That's every parents dream is to be able to see their children achieve their goals.

Anja medical bills are estimated about 500,000 Naira it maybe more than that; in British money it is a roughly £1,053.98, anonymous donor has already donated £300 to the cause who have sent straight away to start the treatment. We ask for your help and continue to ask for your help to raise money to help Anja and her mother Joy in this journey together as they are team Lovein fighting the horrible sickness bug disease once and for all along with girl power.

Girl Power Quotes:

“What's wrong with being, what's wrong with being, What's wrong with being confident?” – Demi Lovato – Confident

“You hear my voice, you hear that sound” Katy Perry – Roar

How to donate for Anja Reggren Lovein:

“look…look there's the link come on. Do it for me please. Even the anonymous writer is helping me write this. Come on click on it and donate. Shhh she thinks I'm cute too” Anja Reggren Lovein

The money will go to this link here down below and it will go to her and help with her medical care.


The Fear Of The Unknown: Fix a Heart

This week I had to write something with a meaningful meaning but also I hadn’t had a chance to write a story for this week. So it’s poetry this week guys. It’s a little short one for you.

It’s probably what’s best for you; if I went and left you too it because I only want the best for you, and if I’m not the best then you’re stuck. I don’t want to be third best at everything; I want to be there for you, I want what’s best for you but I just feel like I’m a third wheel. I tried to sever ties and I ended up with wounds to bind. It feels like when you can’t talk to me about things; it feels like you’re pouring salt in my cuts.

I just ran out of band-aids because I don’t even know where to start as you can only bandage the damage; you can never really can fix a heart, even though I know what’s wrong but how could I be so sure. If you never say what you feel, feel. I must have held your hand so tight; you didn’t have the will to fight, I guess you needed more time to heal,

You must be a miracle worker because your swearing up and down; like you can fix what’s been broken, yeah. So please don’t get my hopes up if I’m going to be a third wheel in this relationship; no, no, baby, tell me how could you be so cruel?