Daily Challenges: – Summer Challenges – (20.6.18) Wednesday – Introduction

Word up guys! How are we all doing? As you guessed I’m bringing back challenges as you guys seem to be requesting them; well reading my old ones giving me a hint that you want to see some more of them, as it’s been awhile for me in doing them and I was going to start this in July but it’s okay you guys want something now. I’ll do it now because I can see you guys trying to help me get through the darkest time at the moment and decided to bring the daily challenge back.

I’m currently not sure how many days I’m going to do yet but we will see won’t we because we all love as much as we can. Do let me know if there is a challenge with a challenge itself that you want me to tell you about and I’ll do it for you. If not I’ll come up with something challenges or something but as this is a challenge for me to write an x amount of days for the summer.

Okay I think I might do 31 Days Challenge starting from tomorrow (21.6.18) as it starts with a one and goes inside with 21 at the end of the day. I just like playing with numbers that learn maths because I don’t understand maths anyways. I think you guys have set me a challenge to do this challenge in the first place but without telling me but reading the previous ones. What do you think?

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Star Light Categories: (19.6.18) Tuesday Teen Lifestyle – Oh my god I can’t believe this

Time on your side that will never ever end but the most beautiful thing you can ever spend because your work a shirt with a name tag on it. Yet you lean on the counter feeling bored because your drifting apart like the tectonic plates in the sea causing tsunamis all over the world. Yet it doesn’t matter to me because all I wanted to be is a million miles away from here; somewhere more familiar as there’s too much time spent dragging the past up, I didn’t see you looking when I messed up but as your settling down in your early twenties. 

Knowing that you wished you had better grades when you left school your sucking more blood than a back street dentist. You’re life doesn’t matter to me because I all I wanted to be a million miles away from here somewhere else more familiar. Now I’ve achieved to what I wanted to do because I worked hard to get where I wanted to be… now I can say.

Oh my god I can’t believe it I’ve never been this far away from home. I’ve never been this far away from home running around listening, learning about the great rulers making the glory of their country greater. That was only think in the history that was growing. Knock me down when my dreams aren’t good enough I’ll just get back up again like PAC-Man powered up but I’m mire stronger than you ever think. 

It doesn’t matter to me if I’m still behind the table at school or behind a counter. All I want to be a million miles away from here to somewhere more familiar. Oh my god I can’t believe it I’ve never been so far away from home. Even if school or the weekend job was just around the corner that was the only time I’m far away. 

I’m million miles away from home I’m now following my dreams of adventuring the world. Living the dream job that I’m doing writing my adventures creating stories of what I’ve seen. Achieving is believing. 

Everyday Online Diary Entries: (19.6.18) Tuesday Online Diary Entries – Prepping Family Members Of medical needs

I’ve decided to continue fighting this mental health no matter how hard it is at the moment and not wanting to do anything but sleep. However the one thing that it’s currently trying to make not wanting to do anything is blogging and writing; no matter how hard it is at the moment for me, I’m taking it each day as it comes and will be back to my normal strength with the help of your guidance and your stags to help me get through this week. 

I will probably talk about it one day but right now isn’t the time to talk about it as it’s fresh and recent. I’ve decided to do some prep work for my family after what’s happened recently so that they know what I’m taking, what’s what and etc. I’ve started to do the whole set up with a grandparent of mine because few weeks ago I had to sort their medication out as there was so many medications and not enough of one. I decided to sort them out for one of my parents and one of my aunts so they know what’s what into boxes and then labelling them and so on. 

Whilst I was doing my medication list, emergency meds box for one of my parents to use incase of emergency and what not. I decided to do the same with one of my grandparents meds so that they know what they have got what’s been on hold and what’s etc. Also made notes page so that they can write down to let each other know what’s going on, what’s needed and etc. To be able to record what’s happening. 

I’ve done exactly the same for my parents and have a back up plan for one of my aunts so if I can’t get hold of my parents or anyone else they can contact them. Straight away if there was anything that would happen to me for any reason or another. It’s all safety reasons for myself and my grandparent at the time if something goes wrong or they miss read something or something happens they will know what to look up on the sheets provided. That I’ve been provided with the information that they need at the time because sometimes it all gets confusing and what has been done and what hasn’t been done. 

I like to be organised in that sense but I didn’t really think about doing it for myself until recent events accord. So I did the same thing but my parents have my emergency meds if I need them I have the rest as I’m capable to have the ones I’ve got. Unless things change again then obviously then revise the situation but for now for me it’s the suitable situation for me to do that for the time being. 

Remember you are beautiful, your awesome, your amazing and every positive thing that I could think off right now. Remember you are not alone. You have got people that care about you, love you and most importantly to help you. I am a sucker for not asking help but when I do oh boy admitting it is hard enough but accepting that you do it’s like “okay I thought I could handle it on my own but I can’t” that’s where you need to ask for help. 

Love you all and your beautiful stags. 

Everyday Online Diary Entries: (16.6.18) Saturday – Not the best start of the weekend

I literally not had a best start of the weekend this morning yet here I am picking myself up as per normal where I just spent the whole morning crying. You guys know me by now when my mental health issues kicks in I start to struggle a bit but I’m not the one who is after sympathy or anything but thank you if you do much appreciated. 

I generally push through it all now because I need to control my mind as much as I can. That’s all the whole point of me starting up Life On The Open Road Project for young people, teens and children because at the end of the day you have to fight through it or let it define you. 

Today of all days for me I just basically slept the whole day done nothing other than forced myself to have a shower to see if I would be alright but didn’t so today was the first time I didn’t even bothered to do my hair and make up like I have been doing everyday. I literally just washed my hair and blow dried it gone rather curly and frizzy.

Obviously got dressed got even more annoyed when my own parents didn’t answer their phones and moan at us for not answering our phones. I literally drugged myself up with medication, paracetamol and hayfever meds the correct ones! To be able to breathe properly actually fell asleep for a good few hours to waking up to no one in the house but I think they went out for a pond window shopping I think it was. Weren’t really a wake to know what was happening but something telling me it’s something to do with a pond might turned into a cat look as well not sure.

Dreamed about two youtubers because I had them in the back ground at the time when I was sleeping. Then had a very late lunch veggie quarter pounder spicy to try out nearly had all four of them but put the half eaten one in the fridge because I couldn’t eat anymore. However I’ve learnt over recent the years spicy actually helps clear your air ways a lot more and also helps your insides too. Just saying trying not to be gross at all. 

Obviously when I have colds or really bad hayfever now I know what to do. Get some spicy things and have them to clear my airwaves then panic that my ear drums are going to burst like they did about 5 years ago. Decided to take my trampoline well me and my siblings trampoline at the time we were all in the same house; however it’s been over a year when my parents said that they were going to take it down, yet it was my sister who didn’t want it to go but my parents want a bit more garden. 

Instead of the trampoline we are replacing it with a pond as it will be nice to have something more peaceful and etc. At the end of the garden have a bit of a wild life at the end of the garden and gaining access to the fruit we have at the end of the garden. Might even be nice for my own mental health at the end of the day by sitting  down the end of the garden doing bits and pieces. 

Life On The Open Road Project – Paradise – (16.6.18) Saturday

My love I need to explain to you when I’m with you I’m in paradise but my mind; oh yes my mind what can I say without you, my mind it rides off in the other direction when I have my moments and it rides on the negative because I’m left outside alone. You know when I’m with you in the storm in the paradise doesn’t last forever because on the paradise roads I will ride on down the road on my stag keeping me safe until we find you. 

I will find you, I will hold onto you and I’ll be there. I know you heard it from the other boys that I wasn’t coming back but that’s not true it’s all in your head. You know I’m real because this time I feel like this paradise can’t keep us away from each other because it keeps you awake as it’s running through your bloody veins in your human body. You know that my love is heading your way find your stag because you’re love is heading your way. 

My love I need to explain to you when I’m with you I’m in paradise but your mind; oh yes your mind what can you say, you’re nothing without me, your mind it rides off in the other direction when you have your moments and it rides on the negative because you’re left outside alone. You know when I’m with you in the storm in the paradise doesn’t last forever because on the paradise roads you will ride on down the road on your stag keeping you safe until we find me. 

My time. My time. My t-t-time will never end the helter skelter because we will be out whatever the weather. You open your cabin door to find your stag waiting for you to get back onto that open road; mmm my mind hopes you will follow the stag to where we should meet, my heart, my heart and my boom boom heart beats and thumping against my chest. Knowing that I’m alive. I’m alive a lot more now as you start to follow the stag. 

You stop. Why oh why did you stop? Oh my, oh my. The stag tried to push you on a bit further into this paradise to go and find me. You start stroking the stag feeling the love in your bloody veins knowing that stag is right. Don’t need to blame anyone anymore. You know that the paradise of our love is there. Roll on. Roll on. Meet me there. Hold on. Hold on. You are strong. You are strong. My, my, my your strong….

Star Light Categories: (15.6.18) Friday – Friday Time Recap Time – Paradise

My love I need to explain to you when I’m with you I’m in paradise but my mind; oh yes my mind what can I say without you, my mind it rides off in the other direction when I have my moments and it rides on the negative because I’m left outside alone. You know when I’m with you in the storm in the paradise doesn’t last forever because on the paradise roads I will ride on down the road on my stag keeping me safe until we find you.

I will find you, I will hold onto you and I’ll be there. I know you heard it from the other boys that I wasn’t coming back but that’s not true it’s all in your head. You know I’m real because this time I feel like this paradise can’t keep us away from each other because it keeps you awake as it’s running through your bloody veins in your human body. You know that my love is heading your way find your stag because you’re love is heading your way.

My love I need to explain to you when I’m with you I’m in paradise but your mind; oh yes your mind what can you say, you’re nothing without me, your mind it rides off in the other direction when you have your moments and it rides on the negative because you’re left outside alone. You know when I’m with you in the storm in the paradise doesn’t last forever because on the paradise roads you will ride on down the road on your stag keeping you safe until we find me.

My time. My time. My t-t-time will never end the helter skelter because we will be out whatever the weather. You open your cabin door to find your stag waiting for you to get back onto that open road; mmm my mind hopes you will follow the stag to where we should meet, my heart, my heart and my boom boom heart beats and thumping against my chest. Knowing that I’m alive. I’m alive a lot more now as you start to follow the stag.

You stop. Why oh why did you stop? Oh my, oh my. The stag tried to push you on a bit further into this paradise to go and find me. You start stroking the stag feeling the love in your bloody veins knowing that stag is right. Don’t need to blame anyone anymore. You know that the paradise of our love is there. Roll on. Roll on. Meet me there. Hold on. Hold on. You are strong. You are strong. My, my, my your strong….

Life On The Open Road Project Online: (14.6.18) Thursday – What is a recovery buddy?

In my Life On The Open Road Project Online Donations Page I’ve given you a brief outline of what I am hoping to achieve with the Life On The Open Road Project. I have mentioned about a Recovery Buddy you guys are wondering what is a recovery buddy? don’t worry I’ll explain what a recovery buddy is.

What is a recovery buddy? A recovery buddy is a friend that you may have met through the charity or you and a really close friend who has the same problems with confidence issues and etc. Yet you guys are confident and everything together you both support each other.

I can give you a perfect example with a recovery buddy. I have a friend called “Maddie” not her original name but I’ve been starting to call her that in the last couple of weeks and it just stuck with me to be honest. We support each other no matter what if we have different opinions or what not but at the end of the day we grew the close bond of knowing how we connect.

Maddie grew confidence within herself as I told her that she needs to start to believe in herself; not let people walk all over her, and many more things. In a space of a year or so she made a lot of progress and positive in herself where she not letting people push her around; the fact that she didn’t know how I do it to begin with, but I trained myself not to give up and tell people where to go if they over step the mark.

However when I have a relapse with my mental health I’ll talk to her and also we meet up to chill out or do a bit of window shopping or both shopping and window shopping. It’s like both need to meet up talk about what’s going on if something is wrong and then we chill or whatever we are doing we are there reminding each other it’s okay. We will bounce back like we always do.

Helping one another out, be there for one another, making new friends, be close friends and many other ways to support each other. By doing that with a recovery buddy it’s like saying you’re not on your own I’m also going through the same thing. Let’s do this together let’s fight this negativity together.

If you haven’t looked at Life On The Open Road Project Donations why not go and check it out at the top in showing your support by donating by the link at the bottom of the page if you would like to see this happen and make it happen.

Life On The Open Road Project Online Diary Entries: (13.6.18) Wednesday – Sense of achievement mid week

Literally just had a brain fart when drifting this blog last night (12.6.18) completely forgot what category I was doing and what not with the whole entry thing for this blog post/category. Stuck the wrong blinking picture on it until I realised before I started that I stuck the wrong one on. All good now.

Sense of achievement for the mid week for me is that I’ve been keeping myself busy with the whole blogging side of things. Today might be the day I just spam you all with blogs because I can and knowing me I’ll get stuck for something for the rest of the week and give up.

No! No! No giving up Lizzy-Lou this is a Life On The Open Road Project there is no giving up on things no matter what happens you have to solider on no matter what life throws at you. That is true very true indeed. I do have my stag next to me right now helping me along my road to get me back onto the right track or shall I say road. I for one without the stag next to me I wouldn’t of achieved littlest things that I thought I wouldn’t be able to do.

1. To be able to find my creativity once again along side using the colouring apps and using the pictures for my blog categories to give you guys inspiration to achieve things in life.

2. To be able to get up everyday no matter how hard it is for me if I didn’t sleep well the night before but being able to do my face and hair in the mornings before work and even at the weekends if I’m struggling to do anything.

3. Most importantly fighting through the negativity thoughts even though how hard it is for me to let them in but being positive about something will help get through it all and win.

That’s three achievements that I believe that I’ve manage to do on my own not having someone on my case that I have to do this, have to do that and so on. I have currently set up a payme pal if you like to help fund the Life On The Open Road Project. I am currently working on the donations page for you guys.

The Life On The Open Road Project is a project that I would like to set up for people all ages especially for children, teens and young adults who suffer from mental health issues, confidence issues, low self esteem and feel like they can’t achieve anything in life. Also share my experiences of being able to achieve things like do some challenges that I might be afraid off or something that I thought I might not be able to do. Please remember to ask the bill payer permission if you want to donate money and help set this up. It’s your project as much as mine at the end of the day; so why not donate as much as you can to be able to get this up and running bu clicking this link: http://paypal.me/lifeontheopenroadpro

Everyday Online Diary Entries: (12.6.18) Tuesday – I might of rambled

I might of rambled but in a rant for the Wednesday Evening Post at 8 blog post; I do apologise in the advance for that, I was hurt, upset and annoyed that people think it’s okay to spread lies and etc. I just don’t actually understand why people do that to be honest.

Maybe people think that I’m threatening them or over confident because I know things but at the end of the day; I know how to do my job, know how to deal with things that go wrong, I don’t just sit there be all clicky clicky with people and talk about weight watchers and all that.

I’ve sat all the way through that with people but I just don’t see any difference or anything to be honest unless you’re one of those people’s who actually stick to the healthy living style and work out. That’s when you begin to notice the whole change in people; it’s all about the willingness of doing something for yourself, and no one else because its like saying if you don’t do for yourself do it for me. That’s not how it all works because I know for the fact that I never do something I want to improve on about myself for someone else; if I actually want to do something that I want to do, I do it for me, myself and I.

I have that work ethic that I’m hard on myself to continue to improve myself in so many ways so that I know I can succeed in life no matter how long it takes. Yes it gets me down; yes it takes me longer than anyone else, yes I get there in the end but at the end of the day once it achieved and it gets there I for one know I’m proud of what I have achieved.

Since leaving school I had a choice of not continuing to improve my spelling, my reading and what not but the love of writing that I had for it. It gave me the confidence in myself to actually continue to improve myself in so many levels that I chose not to give up. I chose not to let my learning disability or my hearing impairment define me for who I am; I could of applied and still can if I wanted to for a disability, but I was brought up the fact that my parents wanting me to have a choice and see how I do in life. If it wasn’t for them in who I am today of not giving up or letting the things that I know can hold me back.

Yeah I have my moments in thinking I’m not good at something or I’m not good at this. I even had this conversation about my writing with someone yesterday (11.6.18) they were like you got to keep trying. I know that they are trying to help me build my confidence up, keep me going and what not because they know how much my confidence drops.

They even know my dream goal is and I know I’ve got a long way to go but I know I’ve got a load of doubts in my head that I think it’s not going to work. However it’s only the early stages of making it happen. I always believe that no matter what happens it’s okay you can start again.

I literally use my grandparents toughness on myself; tell people how it is, and everything because it’s my coping mechanisms. Trust me I’m the worst person to keep everything in until all of the sudden I just snap and take it out on someone who might be the last one to send me over the edge. Yesterday I had one of those bad days one lead to another and I just literally took it out on someone even though they didn’t know what my day was like until I explained.

Everyday Online Diary Entries: (10.6.18) Sunday – I’m sorry but I’m actually not sorry for who I am

All the things that you want will be taken away from you soon enough because all of the things that you’ve been doing to me knowing that you’re in my place; keep on smiling and waving whilst you can because the payback is one bad bitch, as I’m one baddest person who plays by the rules and respects the true women in this world.

I may look like I’m taking revenge on you but feeling like a 10 is the best ever feeling that I have ever been. I know how bad it must feel when it hurts that the one you thought you loved doesn’t love you but loves someone else; yet to see me and him being happy like this making him feel at ease, now that you’re looking at me like you regretted this and ain’t too proud to bet to be my friend but the chance you will never have or get. I know how bad it must hurt you to see me like this but it gets worse when the payback hurts for being so pushy to get what you want.

You shouldn’t mess with the best British person you ever come across because you can’t have this life or the person you want. However it’s nice of me to take it off your hands as I’m the true princess of this country and his world. I’m sorry but I’m actually not sorry for being who I am; in this life I never achieved in things that I wanted however seeing you looking so bad makes me feeling so good, and showing up like I knew that I would inspired me to know that the tables have turned. As I’ve never wanted this in the first place but to be with the one that I love I would do anything for them just to be with them; whatever you touch now will burn because you will lose everything that you have, as I’m the one he wants.

Fitness doesn’t matter to me but telling me how I feel and take a chill. I rather you just drop dead because no one actually likes you; yeah I know you thought you were the bigger person with better things, yet I’m the one that has the grass greener under me with a halo above my head. If you brighten up your colour you can see that you can’t have this anymore as we walk and talk; you come to realise that I’ve just shown you out of my life and his for good.

I’m sorry but I’m not actually sorry for who I am anymore you can walk out of my life for good.