Everyday Post: Birthdays ay! (Going inside with mine)

Come along, come along, come along now. Got yourself a nice cuppa of something to drink or something that suits your needs. Cool. Today I just fancied a birthday chat with everyone just because I can and I just did; as you can guess today is my birthday (2nd January) not like I’m getting any younger, but some of you may guess I look younger and some of you may think I look older. A fair few might actually think I’m the right age.

Only rarely people get it spot on how old I am because when I get people to guess how old I am; I then tell them my actual age, and they are like well you don’t look it. Over the years now I’ve decided to become more hatred towards my birthday than ever before; I’m not 100% why maybe it’s because of personal reasons that I don’t actually want to get into, it’s no one else’s business especially social media’s no one needs to know or the whole world. I may write a topic for Teenagers Life Crisis for this afternoon for you guys depends if I can get it done and think of something for it.

I’ve actually soon started to want to cancel my birthday as much as possible; as it’s been literally drawing near and near I just become more anxious than anything else, not sure why that is but heyho I just feel more I think about it and people ask me what I want to do for it. I’m just like I don’t know I rather not have it to be honest. I’m a new year baby so it’s one of those things where you find that you have Christmas and Birthday too close together then you have nothing to look forward to for the rest of the year.

I’ve only learnt recently that one of my parents didn’t want to call me the name I got because their cousin was a troublesome but my other parent was like it’ll be fine. Think I’ve just for filled my name to be honest over the years I think. Not even sure to be honest how I’m like them but there we go maybe I need a decent guy to hold me down and tame me. What do you reckon? Decent bloke for birthday present yes please haha. Not going to happen I know. I just keep dreaming about it.

Not sure what’s happening today for my birthday because I never know in the first place. Fish and chips for dinner because everyone can eat it so the actual thing that I want few people can’t have so that goes out the window but it doesn’t bother me rather make sure everyone can have what they have. Ugh but there we go life isn’t always about you at the end of the day it’s the people who you want to share it with and have to caterer for. Plus everyone else is working late or on a late shift due to their work so you can’t do much about it to be honest.

I’m not really bothered anymore. I hate center of the attention in the first place I rather sit quietly and keep to myself. As I’m writing this yesterday (1st January) starting to feel the alcohol that I’ve had with my dinner only had the one haha. All well who cares at least I’ll be able to get some sleep one way or another. Haha you guys will never know unless you follow me on twitter or Instagram or my facebook page.

Enjoy the rest of the day. Xx

Day 6 Of 30 Days Challenge for Autumn: Diary Online Entries: Bridge over my trouble waters

Wether you believe this or not it’s your opinion not mine. I respect your opinion but I know what’s true.


When I first met you I don’t know where to begin; so I start by saying that I would refuse forget you, I would refuse to be silenced and I refuse to neglect you because that’s for the every last soul up in heaven who sacrificed their souls to save ours. Even if I never met you I know that you could of been my dad, my mum, my sister, my brother, my niece, my nephew, my daughter or my son. Waving a plain white sheet out on the no mansland; but I can see your white tee up there in heaven as I’m with my friends on the ground trying to see up there knowing that your now at rest, and feeling free from all the pain you have up there.

I can feel your pain on the ground of who you have left behind; but we went back to the block where you grew up with your children, chilling out watching the other children running around playing in the road and the troubled water cams running past. That’s when I swiftly grabbed hold of your children; having to witness your death, and hearing how you died as we ran away from the torment that you had endure. I’ve come back with an army to build you a bridge to come back over for visits like they remember you.

When you’re weary and feeling small; the tears are in your eyes I will dry them all, I’m on your side and when the times get rough and tough. Friends are not only just can be found; theres a bridge over my trouble waters, thats where I will lay and just lay you down right there so that I can get comfort near you. There’s so much pain in my heart my community has moved me; they choose to gleam their bright light as we are facing the dark.

When you’re down and out walking the streets; the evening will fall so hard like a arm is wrapped around my shoulders, a voice will say “I will comfort you…yes I will” I’ll take your part when the darkness comes and all the pain is all around. I will lay down next to you; over the trouble waters but waiting for you to come across the safe crossing of the bridge, to be able to see you once again.

I refuse to forget you. I refuse neglect you. I refuse to let you go. I will fight for your memory. Your my hero, my saviour, my world and my protector. Lest we forget.

When you have more than one day of being a total d***?

Yep I know it's a Sunday but I can't help in doing this blog on a Sunday when it comes to one of those days that you had one too many off.

The fact that I have admitted on my national blog on a Sunday Special; that I can be a total d*** at the best of times, but not that sort of a d*** where someone is always is one all the time. I have mine when my insecurities, jealousy and many more come out all at once. Then start feeling rather s**** about it because you just wish you hate those feelings of not being good enough; feeling threatened by someone else who maybe good looking, right sort of person and what not.
Yep that's me. I'm one of those sort of people that feel like I'm going to get replaced because of not matching the right boxes; I end up listening to my insecurities, the past pain and etc. Which to means that I blow everything out of proportion and hurt the people that I love the most. That's pretty much me. It's only rarely that happens if I'm on a War path with myself then it's more dangerous territory; once I'm in the no mans land and someone who knows me too well, try and break the barriers down more they don't even know if they are going to come out alive or not. They actually turn out alive when I break down crying and wave the white flag to say it's alright.
There's been so many times within the two weeks I've been in floods of tears; then been actually been a complete arse, because of it as I've been all over it and there's been coming to my aid from left right and centre. On that no mans land and they've been like no matter what I thrown at them; they wouldn't budge because they know it's not me at the end of the day, they just want to keep me safe.
This is where you get your true identity of life where you know where your good friends are in life.

As Robbie Rotten would ask, “Why are those people making all that noise!?”

You got a friend in need, we got a friend in need, we got a friend in need. Who needs your help. 
As Robbie Rotten on LazyTown, has given laughter to children around the world. He created a foundation to help stop bullying. He is a tireless advocate for special needs children. And now Stefan Karl needs our help.

Stefan has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. The operation he has had will prevent him from working for up to a year. We want him to use that year to rest and recuperate so that he can once again return to what he does best – making kids smile all over planet Earth.

We are raising funds to help Stefan and his family survive the coming year. Not only will they need assistance with medical bills, but it’s important that Stefan be allowed to heal his body and spirit without the additional burden of financial need.

We appreciate any amount of gift you are able to extend to Stefan and his family. As he moves from this difficult time toward a full recovery, we ask for your generosity, your prayers and good wishes.

As Robbie Rotten would ask, “Why are those people making all that noise!?” 

Let’s answer Robbie with a thunderous noise of gratitude and joy for everything he’s given to the world of children’s entertainment!

Help spread the word! Stefan Karl’s Year of Healing $157,525 of $200k goal raised. 

Go on donate, go on, oh go on, oh go on, GO ON! (Apologies not too sure why Father Teds house keeper took over) please help and donate to see him return to our screens again. 

Stefan Karl’s Year of Healing

What has made you angry recently?

That part when you scheduled a post; you just about to post the same picture on another website, then you see what it had been written on the top. Your like opps! All well are you bothered about it? I’m not because guess what its a Monday extra in the first place during the week anyway. 

I’m quite glad that I found this title for this week and of course the subject. I did get mad when I realised what I had done; now I’m like whatever it’s a Monday extra feeling, no ones going to complain. Are they? Better not be….haha I’m joking really. 

What made me angrily recently was rules and laws that Caspian has to obey. No matter how much we try and raise the money; or do things we always seem to get blocked at every turn, even if we have had a lot of help to begin with. It just seemed to be never ending; yet no matter how much we argue or share our frustrations, we still love each other and always find away. Even when I’m having a lot of health wise kicking in; knowingly he can’t be there to help, knowingly he frustrates his job and family rules and law that they follow. Especially when you don’t have any money to do anything doesn’t help the situation either. That makes me more angry; as I’m working so hard that I’m just not getting anywhere hard enough, even though I’m trying my best to do everything that I can.

The second most recent thing that has made me feel so angry is people who; think I should apologise for something that I did, when it’s their own actions that have caused me to do that in the first place. That makes me angry; I hate where they think that they are so important because they have the highest status, you think actually are they for real and they show signs that that they can be frauds. Then deni that they aren’t abusing you; they are actually abuse comes across in lots of categories, mentally abuse is one of them and I should know.

Last but no means having the possibility of a hearing aid in one ear; after all this time not having to have one for 26 years or so, yeah it’s one of those things you will have to have them at some point in your life. I am grateful that I haven’t had to have them so far but now the whole sense of feeling like; I’m going back on myself again, proving myself that I can do things and to be able to carry on doing the things that I want to do. I just hate major set backs every time when something happens like my health issues kick in one way or another.

I think this blog has turned into more of a rant than what made you angry recently; unless it is a rant title name that give you the permission to do so, them I’m going to take this as advantage of using it as a rant Friday Time Recap Time! Along with sharing my rant anger with my fellow readers and bloggers who probably feel the exact same feeling that I do about certain things in life that shouldn’t happen but it does.

The worst bit is and this is the last complaint, rant, whatever you call is that my ear is causing so much pain that it’s much better if I had my head laying down. I can’t do that all day long can I. I have work to do ear and your not helping the situation haha.

Conservatives are Zionists

The brief summary of the meaning of Zionists is “The term “Zionism” was coined in 1890 by Nathan Birnbaum. Its general definition means the national movement for the return of the Jewish people to their homeland and the resumption of Jewish sovereignty in the Land of Israel.” From the website of http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/a-definition-of-zionism  

Grenfell Tower events of last month reports have come out with an outrage of the Islamic State claims that Grenfell Tower Victims were ‘murdered by Zions’ who had been funded by the Conservatives Party. Not sure this is true but the outburst comment is now being investigated by the police; just to cover all bases incase it is true, along with the whole terror attacks and every other complications that may occur at any time. 

A director of the Islamic Human Rights Commission (IHRC); has exploited the tragedy during the anti-islam demonstration, after the fire using it as an excuse in the wrong way. In my opinion it’s wrong to involve something like Grenfell Tower to their stride; trying to hold something against the UK, this is will happen more than once I can guarantee you that the isis will claim that they told him to say that or something along the lines of that. 

The outburst of the comment is now being investigated by the police; The Metropolitan Police took the allegations of that comment during a protest of the Grenfell Tower, all it in my opinion is seeking attention and want a war. My understanding of it as I researched more into this outburst of the crisis; is that back in June 2007, the leader at time of Conservatives Party was David Cameron called himself “Zionist”. 

During that time Cameron had responded to the questions that had been put forward to him at a Annual Luncheon Of Conservative Friends Of Israel; this became centre of attention for awhile back then, either David Cameron came out and said or someone who couldn’t believe what he had just said. To which implying that the academic boycotting was completely uncalled for; to the point of that the attacks against Israel are often slides into anti-semitisn. This is when he got a chance by slamming the British Initiative for boycotting against Israel.

It goes to show that if you say something in the past or bringing it to a function that will be effecting the future; you always know that it will always going to come back to bite you on the arse, one way or another. Tony Blair is realising that now after years of not being in power; that going to war with George.W.Bush things that actually didn’t come out to the public for one reason or another, yet we all paying the penalties for all the ridiculous moves. From Thatcher to Blair to Gorden, Cameron and now May. Have you notice it’s always between two parties that screw everything up; Labour and Conservative which makes you soon realised why Corbyn wants to be in power instead of May, then he can make everything worse not better. 

The meaning of Antisemitism can also been spelt in two different ways; anti-Semitism or anti-semitism, which is a hostility, prejudice or discrimination that is directed against Jews as a group. If one person who holds such positions they are called antisemite. Antisemitism is generally considered to be a form of racism. The root word a Semite gives out the false impression that Antisemitism is directed towards all the Semitic people for example which includes Arbs. A compound word antisemite was popularised in Germany in 1879; which is a scientific-sounding term for Judenhass meaning, “Jew – Hatred” since then it has been most common to update to the present day.

Zionistzm is another way or another form group like Nazi back in World War controlled by Adolf Hitler; this means that no matter what Jews do or in my opinion haven’t done anything wrong they are like everyone else believing in a god but also they are different. This goes to show that no one has ever changed the way the matter what we do in life to change the world; there will always going to be a group of people out there, that don’t like something and do something about it. Like for example our own current situation right now with ISIS group they don’t like what the whole European group is doing to their country; they are the ones that have started from one man, who went on the run for a few weeks. Now it’s like history is repeating itself and it will always going to be repeating itself.

The part where you just want to scream!

The part where you just want to scream but the only way to do so is in a journal. Have you thought what it must be like for a writer who has lots going on in their mind; yet the things on their mind is stopping them from putting pen to paper, this is what my world in my mind as a writer.
So in this journal you will find your on a chase throughout the journal; which speaks of the journey that once use to be lived in, but now the journal is speaking of the journey. Now come. Come and read. Read for yourselves what it’s like to live in a writer’s head; that everyone thinks writers don’t get a writer’s block, that’s not true everyone has those days. I’ve had one two many of them this week. (Week of the 10th July 2017).
Let me begin how I grateful I am for you to come and read my blogs and their stories; without your care and love to read them, it’s shows me great courage to continue in writing even if I’m having a bad day for some odd reason or another. So far this week I have managed to get some of my blogs done on time this week; which is a success as monjority of the week, I’ve been so stressed out with other things. All I just wanted to do is scream because I couldn’t get what I wanted done. Done. Where to the point if I wanted to that I actually wanted to give up of trying to live my dream as a writer; whilst everything around me is closing in, to the point of do I actually want to make this a success or not. 

I know it’s not going to be a permanent thought of mind when you have a writer’s block; when you have so many other things going on in your head, all you want to do is scream, shout, give up and even want to punch somebody to the point because you got to that state of mind. Writer block is completely to everyone who writes; like I’ve just mentioned about my mind just want to give up and etc, it shows the whole different side of you that no one actually see’s. They see someone being successful in their craft or hobby. 

I’m quite surprised that I managed to come up with this blog on Wednesday 12th July 2017. The day I had that day. My word I couldn’t even tell you even if I tried. Whilst I was trying to work on my blogs and etc; I was trying to sort out things with Caspian and his things, whilst having a complete argument, trying to push him away and what not. To be honest he’s not even giving up on me that easily. 

The best thing is about Caspian no matter how much I try to push him away; he knows how much I’m fighting my demons, he believes in me no matter how much I want to be left alone. To be able to talk to him about things can unclear my head from writer blocks; then look at what views I have on each blog websites, then say actually what am I doing. I shouldn’t give up on this. I need to believe in myself to be able think I can do this; I’m going to carry on with this and take down the writer’s block one way or another, to remind myself what the blogs are good for and what other people say or thoughts that I may have about it all. 

This is one of my reasons I have writer’s blocks when I battle my demons; I think of the whole I’m not good enough, until someone so close to you and says no your not. Its like them saying I’m not abounding you because of what you have got or what has happened to in the past; your the reason why I love you because you have the passion to do something in life, I want to help you get through the pain barrier first. 

All you got to do is not give up on yourself; find your strong hardcore man or women who believes in you no matter what, I hope this helps you guys. 

People Accuse you for something that you didn’t do


Sometimes you really wish people stop making digs that at you; especially if they claim that they’ve been messaging you or your just ignoring them, until you say “I haven’t received anything or I’m not ignoring you” 

You think your the worst person in the world for being paranoid and etc; but actually it’s not you that’s being paranoid, it’s the other person that’s being paranoid and you just sit there like. Erm hang on for one minute I did send you a message but you haven’t responded; secondly if you sent me messages I would of responded to by now, so you don’t need to be jumping down my throat if I didn’t get any messages until now. 

I hate that so much once by someone is enough but twice by the same person; really? If they claim to love me and everything they really need to stop being paranoid if I haven’t responded; if I haven’t received a message then I haven’t received a message, I can’t respond if I don’t receive anything. It maybe your phone or your connection or something along the lines of that; I really don’t appreciate the whole thing of your ignoring me kind of tone, is especially when I’m waiting for you too message me but I don’t lie about it either.

It does make me laugh that I have the evidence of having no messages from the person; when I show them the picture of no messages that they claim to of messaged me, it then backed fired onto him twice now that he accessed me for something that I didn’t do. This comes to mind that someone who actually doesn’t trust the other person; along with claiming to love them but if they are that are being like that, then I don’t want to be with someone who’s like that. 

I personally think that if someone keeps on accusing you from not messing them back; thinking that they love you, but at the end of the day who would you want to be with them. Everyone has demons in the past; some can put all that in the past, some can’t put it behind them. 

You then might find people accusing you of cheating because they’ve done it themselves; but yet they know perfectly well they are in the wrong, and trying to control the situation by simply shifting the blame onto the other person or you done it yourself. No matter what it’s not right either way forward but yet people who have been hurt before or paranoid that someone is going to do it is another sign of not healthy relationship. Unless you have a great person sticking by you and helping you to come out of the dark places that you have been in for a very long time.

Accusing you of being dishonest or lying is another reason of hurtfulness; yet I have been lied to and been dishonest to, two of my worst things you can ever have in your life. People can actually understand why I’m being paranoid about it all because of fair amount of people who have done that have done it to me; then it’s the same flip side where people, who are trying to warn you about things and you couldn’t believe what you were hearing at the time. You begin to wonder why you even bothered in trying to ask them for help; when they know perfectly well they are still saying to you what you just said, yet they don’t believe you when you actually found out that someone can sort your life out but your trying to understand that they are trying to shift the blame onto you for their mistakes. Even when they are trying to help and prove to you that they have changed.

Accusing you of talking about them through friendships and love friendships; you have people who believe that your talking about you behind your back, yet they are the ones talking to you behind your back. You know when they are talking to you about you behind your back; when you have quiet friends that people forget about who sit in the corner of the room, then message you to let you know that that somebody is doing that too you. 

Accusing you of doing whatever it is that they are guilty of themselves; we are guilty one way or another these days, no one is perfect at the end of the day. Who is actually perfect? Haven’t seen or met anyone that their lives are so perfect. We’ve all done something that they but accuse the other person. 

Camden Market Lock up in flames! Say whaaaat?

The worst feeling is that we were almost there with a whole month of nothing going to happen. Until Sunday night on the 9th July 2017. When tragic news of a well known market in Camden. Why are these happening now?

Camden is pretty well known across the country; always bringing in tourists in, from left, right and centre. Pretty much always popular businesses are booming; until something like this happens, you just think ‘oh come on. We were nearly had a whole month of respite here without having any issues what so ever’; 5 weeks ago exactly Grenfell Tower went up in flames like a chimney stack that you can have in your garden on Wednesday 19th June 2017, barely a week later we had a small terror attacked on Monday 19th June 2017. Within the same week as the the terror attack a 4 story high block of flats went up in flames; however it wasn’t as bad as Grenfell Tower, this time it was in Bethnal Green area. Oh don’t forget May 2017 our two terror attacks and in March 2017.

On Sunday 9th July 2017 more than 70 firefighters were tackling a huge blaze at Camden Lock Market in North London. With all 70 firefighters and 10 fire engines that were sent to the site; that is a very popular tourist attraction, one witness explained how fast the fire was moving. In the nearby buildings there were fears of explosions. 

London Ambulance Service said it had not yet any patients who were may likely to be still on the scene at the time. The Metropolitan Police also attended at the scene; closing off the roads, making sure that everyone is safe. 

A witness who was scared at the time Joan Ribes, 24, said: “I was just passing by when I saw the fire and they started to get firefighters and police, it was all very fast.” Want read the full news report please click on this link here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-40552451
The aftermath of Camden Locket Market blaze: Businesses destroyed

Dozens of stall holders have actually lost their entire stock after a blaze had ripped through Camden Lock Marker in North London overnight. There were about 30 stalls that were based in the Market Hall where the fire began; while there was other local businesses who had goods stored in side, had been destroyed in the building as well.  

One of the market owners has commented to which he believes there’s an out 100 traders who have been effected and most likely to be “finished” as a result of the damage that the fire had caused. 

The market had been hit by major fires that had sprawled into the area twice before in recent years, with one back in 2008 leading a part of the site to being shut down for over a year. Camden Market has been based in the area since 1974; which boasts more than 1,000 stalls and shops, it has been giving itself that sort of reputation of a good selling pitches and bringing more people to the attraction all year round. To found out more information about the businesses and etc please follow the link http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-40558356
Lizzysweeklyblogs notes – I will be doing a everyday history based around these tragic events with the fires in London; on which is kind of spooky in my experience, along with the understanding why would History repeat itself. 

Silent Moments

That day that shock the whole nation as we come to terms with our first attack; this is a story of what it must of felt like on the day when it all happened, the day that 52 people who had died that day.
The birds swooped down; that very morning, today was like any other day. I wake up to my annoying alarm clock; to tell me to get ready for my day, I didn’t really want to but it was so sunny, warm and blue skies. What could go wrong on 7th July 2005? Nothing can would it. I’m just an average 14 year old going to school like everyone else in London; that day me and my friends decided to go and get the underground trains that day, than we normally do in the morning if we were running late for the bus. 

Our parents always knew our game plan because one of us is always running late one way or another; that’s why we all get on so well, we stick together all the time. This was the early 2000’s at the time nothing much really could go wrong; typical teen head at the time, but we were living the life of freedom and care free. So we got to the underground train that we normally get on a running late day; still thinking our day would be alright, as we got onto the Circle Line that was going to be stopping near Aldgate and Edgware Road. Fortunately our parents rang in saying that the trains were running late; should be in by 9:30am, they were more expectable at that as we did come from different part of London but also our parents were the governors of the school. Not bragging or anything. 

The train had started to slow down at about 8:49am that’s when I started to think something wasn’t right; this route wouldn’t stop here, would it? I looked around as my friends were still talking like they haven’t even noticed anything strange or anything; no one wasn’t seem too bothered about the whole train stopping, there was one guy looking dodgy but then again I always thought men were strange people in the first place. Someone’s phone went off that caught my attention. Then the next thing all I could remember was me, my friends and everyone else in the carriage went up into the air we all landed in a heap. 

I could barely move or say anything. All I could hear was people screaming in pain; I could taste blood in my mouth. I knew. I knew I just been attacked but by what? I couldn’t sit up or anything. I just thought where are my friends are they are alright; with the whole fear of oh my god! I’m going to be left to die, no one is coming to get me. I want my mum. 

I don’t even know what the time is; I could hear voices coming down the tunnel, they were getting closer and closer. The screaming had stopped; unless that I can’t ear anything, everywhere is pitch black other than the people who were coming to rescue them had torches.

I could hear foot steps coming into the carriage; I was starting to loose consciousness, as one of the rescuers had started to shine the light in my face to see if I was alive or not. Then shouted to the others what I could make out as the blood had started to pile up in my ears; ‘a young teenager over here who’s alive but in and out of consciousness’ few extra people came over and they started carefully to lift me up on to a hard something. That I wasn’t too sure what it was. 

It still felt a very long time and dark in the tunnel but as soon as my rescuers got me out to the platform and out of the station the sun had gone in. The clouds had gone in; something was wrong, all I could remember was being put back of an ambulance then fell unconscious. 

I don’t even remember what happened after that all I can remember is waking up in hospital; with a hospital gown on, cards and gifts at the end of my bed not being able to move. My parents were there when I woke; they called the doctor and nurse to come, I started to panic of what has happened. 

I literally couldn’t hear what they were talking about; which grew made me grow into panic, this had to be serious why can’t I hear and I can’t feel anything. I started to cry as it was hard to understand; this is harder than I had imagine, my mum was trying to calm me down….It took me 12 years to recover with the lots of help encouragement; but I’m working hard, building up charities in people who are effecting in the attacks. I miss my friends everyday; some suffered the same as me, however some of them died in the attack. 

This is a story of what may of felt like being in the first attack. A point of view of a victim who may have lost everything; how to rebuild their lives after attack that may effect them for the rest of their lives, along with the flash backs due to the recent events.