Friday Online Diary Entries: “Most Haunted Cries” – Story Based

The cries, the moans, ghostly aspirations that happen at Beaumont Hall situated in the countryside; yet the village that’s close by sees lights on still, cries, fire and many more strange things after the volunteers of the hall have gone home. Yet no one can understand why or how it happens by the time local services and the volunteers and a few locals got there to help the house out. Nothing was there no fire, no burglaries not even a single soul.

Yet a distance voice of a young girls voice well what sounded like a little girl telling the story but everyone sees this dramatic scene before they turned away witnessing something most terrifying thing that no one could describe that night. The screams that came from the house made them run into the house; this is the story of how a young women lost her love one or so it seems but yet was she pushed or did she fall down the stairs herself.

“Don’t cry for me if you truly loved me you would of been here with me than me dying on the cold stone floor; you want me come find me just make up your mind, and follow the way I died. I should let you fall and lose it all because maybe you could remember yourself; you can’t keep believing that you can have two people at the same time because at the end of the day we’re only deceiving ourselves, and I’m sick of all the lies by the way you’re too late.

You couldn’t take the blame or the sick shame off my death in your life it must be exhausting to lose your own game. The selfishly hatred you had for me no wonder you felt so jaded of feeling trapped you can’t play the victim this time because you’re too late; so don’t cry to me if you loved me you would if been here with me, you want me come find me but just make up your mind.

You never call me when you’re sober only because you want it’s over; how could I have burned paradise? How could I when you were never mine? Get over yourself don’t cry for me if you really truly love me you would of been here with me; don’t lie to me just get your things, I’ve made up you’re mind for you and now it’s time for me to say goodbye…”

#throwbackthursday: Abused the good nature of people

Don’t even understand why some people who say that they need help and advice but yet you be there for you know matter what for them; all of the sudden they turn the other direction or turn a blind eye by coming so manipulative, controlling and throw everything right back into your face when you needed them as well but you can’t tell them the problems because they somehow manage to turn it back onto themselves.
I’ve had that a few times over the years I get close to people think I can trust them; then all of the sudden they got you where they want you, yet you hate yourself more because you swore to yourself that you wouldn’t get into that situation again and your like what’s the point in life.
No matter how much I tried to help a friend out who ever it is they seem to not listen or be bothered to help themselves because they say they can’t or they don’t know how yet you know they can and even they know how to do it. You told them how it works but don’t expect the friend who’s helping them to do it for them; guess what they do you know why? It’s because it could be down to their parents or parent that they are living with can’t help themselves or don’t encourage them to take control of their emotions themselves.
So this shows they think it’s okay to be like it as well. Which isn’t right at all and I get told loads of times that I’m a lot stronger than them; I tell them I’m not that strong but I learn to turn to do it for myself, work with my close friends to help me get through it and that’s how it makes me stronger otherwise whatever the problem is take over and control me. That’s when I decide will I let it define me and make my life hell or take control and put it through hell? I could easily go for the easy option but where would that get me?
No where! Correct I choose to take control because it’s my life and not give up on fighting for myself and my right to be here as much as anyone else to be here. I learn to move on and meet new people. Not keep on looking on the past yes it will come up now and then but guess what I know how to control it every time.
Just don’t let people abuse you’re good nature if they don’t want to help themselves because at the end of the day; you have to look after yourself the number one otherwise you will go under as well, because they will make you feel like crap as well as they don’t seem to care about you either.

Thursday Online Diary Entries: “You know me” Story Based Extra

If any man can pick what he fancied he should just live and breed in captivity because it’s just pointless; you love what you’re doing what you like, when you like, how it makes you happy because only you yourself know yourself. What a waste of all this peace when baby steps and two more sleeps until I get the sorry from you because I get hysterical, historical of love like it’s just a chemical thing between us. Give me something to stop me from having a complete melt down from all of the pain only you know me.

Since you went away my heart breaks everyday because you don’t know as you’re not there to see me cry everyday; you simply found the words to make a lot of feelings fade away or model our feelings, only you know me when I need you the most. I’m doing fine most of the time as the sun shines what are you thinking? Yet at state of my mind can go worst than it can go with me drinking thunderbird wine but I’m drinking because you brought back memories that I told you about.

Yet only you know me when I get into the worst state imaginable but sorry doesn’t cut it out anymore as it’s become more comical than anything that I’ve been through. It’s my life that your toying with; along with my happiness, only wish you knew how horrible this feeling is and them you would know how truly I’m feeling. Only you know me and how to calm me down every single day.

Everyday Post: “Survivors” – Story Based

Now your on that god forsaken island with all of the people who hurt me; your now out of my life I’m so much better without you because you thought I was weak without you but I’m so much stronger without, you thought I would be so broke without you but I’m so much richer and you hope that I be sad without you but I can laugh so much harder than I can before just seeing it your miss fortunes.

There’s so much you thought I couldn’t do without you like I couldn’t grow or be helpless without but I became so much wiser and smarter than you actually thought I could. Funny that you thought I be the one that would be stressed or wouldn’t go out you but your wrong I’m chilled and confident to go out when I want to.

I am survivor from your pain and I am a survivor off a mental health patient; I know that I’m not going to give up on anything even if I could try but I’m not going to stop for nobody because I’m going to work harder than before, being a survivor means the world to me as I’m going to make it knowing I’m going to survive what’s going to be thrown at me and I’m going to keep on surviving.

The thought I couldn’t breath without you would set my anxiety off but now I’m inhaling the positive things that’s in my life. Your thoughts scared you if I couldn’t see without you being next to me but I’ve now got perfect vision; the thoughts of me not lasting without you I’m just lasting even with the thoughts of me dying without you I’m still living my life, your worried thoughts I would fail if you weren’t going to catch my fall and yet I’m on top of the world. You keep messaging me with worry that I would self destruct at anytime; pleading that I should come back to you to get you off the god forsaken island, even in the years to come I’m still going to be here.

I yet wish you the very best in your new life. I pray that you are blessed to which will bring you much success, no stress and lots of happiness; I’m not that sort of person that will blast you on the radio or lie about you or your family, I’m so much better than that because I know that I’m not a shit stir and go to the magazine to sell out my story it’s not my nature especially when I grew up in a Christian family. You know that I’m not going to diss you on the internet because my mum told me that I’m better than that.

After all of he darkness and sadness soon will come happiness; that’s were I surround myself with lots of positive things and I’ll gain the prosperity of my life again, because I’m a survivor and I’m going to keep on surviving.

Friday Time Recap Time: What makes you fabulous?

This morning I posted a Superdrug Haul (2.3.18) the things that I had brought only if I could film what I do on average morning of my make up I would of done. Along side the idea of what the full works of readying my hair; drying my hair, make up and the full works it’s my hair and extensions it would be so easier than me typing it up. Plus I don’t have to talk either haha all I have to do is film and do what I normally do in the time of the process of everything.

The question of tonight’s Friday Time Recap Time I wanted to do this a few days but I was in a sort of a bad place where I couldn’t write about it because I didn’t feel fabulous at all. Yet this passed week it’s been snowing and what not so I had a bit of time to myself; where I’ve had words with myself because my eyes can always tell you there’s a storm happening, and then you know when I’m calm because my eyes go back to light blue.

I always terrified of myself because I never felt fabulous about myself; I always see how pretty other people are, people always compliment me and etc. Yet as soon as I redo my hair and make the time to do my face and everything I know I feel fabulous and confident. Being able to put make up on and doing my hair everyday gives me a purpose in life that I’ve actually accepted myself that I am pretty and etc.

I should be happy with myself knowing that it’s okay to me; yes it’s taken me a long time to accept myself but now that I’ve got an idea of who I am, how I like myself and what not the scares that normal open and shown had faded away it’s not psychological scaring that its on the skin. Mentally and internal inside it goes to show who is winning and whose loosing; yet sometimes it’s no okay when your doing so well, then bam the scares and mental state comes out without warning. All that I can say is it’s okay to be you and no one else.

Revisit Case….Annabel Inorin how her story began and how it en

(Don’t worry this isn’t a scam all of my information came from a good friend of mine)

Annabel Iron. Let me cast your minds back when I introduced you to her back in July/August 2017. I just wanted to refresh your memory why theses children need your help. At the time Annabel was 11 year old little girl; who looked like a normal little from Nigeria, she is a normal little girl but suffered from “Arrhythmias” yet she didn’t really have much of a life due to this horrible disease that effected her heart. She couldn’t do anything like any other child her age without fallen tired or become very sick. The fact that she was fighting it without any medical care or medication that could help her cope with it.

At the time of her being alive she didn’t have the right equipment or the right medication to be given the have a normal life. Annabel had to continue throughout the night and rely on the hand and foot by the hospital staff and her parents. Knowing that someone like Annabel who is suffering with “Arrhythmias” could pass away at anytime; due to the fact that they don’t have the right equipment and medical attention that they need throughout the day, to which they are missing out on having a normal life and not having to worry about her life wouldn’t be life threatening everyday but also to meet new people and be able to play with friends. However between 31st July – 6th August 2017 Annabel had passed away in her sleep with her family around her. The doctors and nurses tried everything to make her feel comfortable as much as possible but due to lack of equipment and medical care that they didn’t have at the time. Her tiny little 11 year old body couldn’t keep on fighting for much longer.
I have a huge respect for her family, her parents, her doctors and her nurses who have tried everything to help her feel comfortable and help her to be positive about everything. Even with all the odds were stacking up against them all. Trust me I’ve been working with special needs children from the age 21 until present still working with them.

I’ve seen first hand of children like Annabel coming and going with so many medical equipment that they need, medication that they need due to the health conditions. They are lucky in the U.K. that they have good health system that they depend on because you would never know each day to the next what will happen. The day I was told the news of Annabel passing it had truly hit home because I knew what it was like working with someone like Annabel.

All I can say is if you can find your heart to support a child who has a medical condition or a disability in the U.K. or your country; you can branch out a little to get some medical equipment and medication that they need in Nigeria, all I’m asking is to give a little amount that you can give by donating to this link below. That covers everything from the cases you read.

https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/rufflescarebear

Revisit Case….Famlies in need of help with school things

Don’t worry this isn’t a scam all of my information came from a good friend of mine)

There are four children who use the foundation for other usage for the money such as money that provides school clothes and school equipment that they need to use everyday. You have Jackson age 7, Tobe age 7, the twins Theresa and Tony age 6. Their parents didn’t know where to go to ask for help or come to help them like our system that helps us gain money to buy school equipment and school clothes for our children.

The foundation in Nigeria helps not just for the children in the home but also to help the children who also would like to attend to school to learn. So each child’s parents had an idea/been recommended by a someone; that we also work along side parents to help them by providing them their school fees, to which we find that they are now going to school and to be able to follow their dreams. Due to the generosity of the donations that’s been coming in to help them.

There are so many families that want what’s best for their children like our four awesome stars that took part in this type of story. Every child has a dream and every parent want to see their child succeed in schools and go off to see the world as their parents couldn’t achieve their goals at the time that they were that age.

In aid of helping like Jackson, Tobe, Theresa and Toby is by helping by donating no matter how much to Ruffles Care Bear who is the mascot of this blog who loves to looking after children to make them feel better.

https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/rufflescarebear

Revisit case of….: Taiya and Kehinde Adventure

(Don’t worry this isn’t a scam all of my information came from a good friend of mine) 



You think your whole world is normal or think your whole world could be upside down just one tiny little thing. Yet what happens if your just 8 or 5 years old witnessing your parents get murdered on your door step? That’s what happened to these two brothers who’s whole world just turned upside down.

The eldest brother didn’t have time to think about what happened; it was what’s going to happen next if the murders found them, and where they going to be killed too. He had to get his brother out of the most dangerous and frightening place.
Taiya is 8 years old and his brother Kehinda is now 6 years old. These two brave heroes who kept each other alive; from witnessing their family in a community fight to their family home burnt to the ground. At the time that this was happening Taiya was at 8 years old and Kehinda was 5 years old; Taiya has to persuade his younger brother to come with him because it was no longer safe for them to be there anymore, but also Taiya was also the only living family he had left that could protect him and find somewhere to live to be safe from any danger that may come their way.
One day Taiya had seen an on coming van that was going to Asba; as it had stopped they sneaked onto the bus without being caught, as they had arrived at Asba and sneaking off the van.

They tried to ask people for help. However they just completely ignored them and carried on doing their daily chores; despite how hard Taiya and Kehinda’s hard work in asking for people’s help, they were drawing to hunger and tired by that stage but weren’t given up. Yet a friendly and kind gentleman of whom had been watching them for awhile had came up to Taiya; explained that he had thought he was doing a marvellous job of looking after his brother, even if they both witnessed a horrific murder and coming all this way to get help.
The gentleman explained that it was his turn to look after them because he knew a place that they can stay as long as they want, along the way he explained that Ofuobi Foundation Home is for children who are in need and they can both stay together as one family unit along with meeting with new people. Taiya can also can be himself and grieve along side with his brother with the support and care that the foundation gives out.
They stay in contact with the friendly gentlemen who had helped them; I believe that they wanted to give something back to him, by showing him that they can grow up as two fine handsome men. Getting their story out there to share with the world what they had to endure as young children; from one nice civilian that they came across, they want to try the world who may help even more by donating no matter how much they can afford.

In aid of helping like Taiya and Kehinda is by helping by donating no matter how much to Ruffles Care Bear who is the mascot of this blog who loves to looking after children to make them feel better.

https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/rufflescarebear


Friday Time Recap Time: Emotions run high when ones ill.

After all week trying to figure out what to write for this blog tonight; it occurred to me how much my emotions have been all over the place because of being ill with the flu, didn’t even realise or remember how much having a cold effected me that badly before until now.

The fact that I’ve had been waking up at stupid o’clock not thinking that I’m going down with anything to begin with; yet feeling hungry in the middle of the night, can’t sleep and etc. No one likes being ill at the end of the day but I find it a lot harder to express my feelings more when I’m not well because I could never express them in the first place. Long story for the reason why; let’s just say no one knows if I’m okay or not, because I keep to myself and don’t say anything until I end up in tears.

That’s when people notice something isn’t right to be honest; I don’t even notice when I’ve got a cold or anything because when I can’t hear that’s when my parents and my sister notice apparently I mumble and talk quietly. I never know that I do that until they point it out.

I generally don’t know when I’m going down with something until one day out of the blue like I had the other day; didn’t even see the signs of going down with something until I got it, and felt dreadful with my body that ached and etc.

Going to rest up as much as I can good night peeps.

Everyday Post: Constant mind that keeps swimming

Ever thought why your mind always constantly keeps on swimming; your trying to gasp for air but you seem to keep on being dragged down because of all the thoughts inside your head, then your like why isn’t anyone listening to me? Why has no one noticed that I’m drowning? Why has no one noticed that I’ve gone missing?

Yet every time you scream for help load of water seems to enter your mouth making you chock, splutter and everything else. Yet still not hearing you? Then your body gives up trying to fight the water as the gravity starts to pull you down; that’s when people started to notice that your drowning, or even missing until the notice your body sinking to the bottom of the pool.

That was when everyone dived in to try and a rescue; fighting all of the Black nodded creatures that surrounded you, that was when they soon realise that your mind has completed under water. Once they got you out of the water you start to chock and spitting water out of your mouth.

You were in hospital for days but you were giving signs of improvement each day; trying to get yourself better but yet your mind was still feeling under water, until it all came clear to you one day that someone had come through the door to visit you. That’s when you were finally out of the water inside your head.