Friday Time Recap Time: What makes you fabulous?

This morning I posted a Superdrug Haul (2.3.18) the things that I had brought only if I could film what I do on average morning of my make up I would of done. Along side the idea of what the full works of readying my hair; drying my hair, make up and the full works it’s my hair and extensions it would be so easier than me typing it up. Plus I don’t have to talk either haha all I have to do is film and do what I normally do in the time of the process of everything.

The question of tonight’s Friday Time Recap Time I wanted to do this a few days but I was in a sort of a bad place where I couldn’t write about it because I didn’t feel fabulous at all. Yet this passed week it’s been snowing and what not so I had a bit of time to myself; where I’ve had words with myself because my eyes can always tell you there’s a storm happening, and then you know when I’m calm because my eyes go back to light blue.

I always terrified of myself because I never felt fabulous about myself; I always see how pretty other people are, people always compliment me and etc. Yet as soon as I redo my hair and make the time to do my face and everything I know I feel fabulous and confident. Being able to put make up on and doing my hair everyday gives me a purpose in life that I’ve actually accepted myself that I am pretty and etc.

I should be happy with myself knowing that it’s okay to me; yes it’s taken me a long time to accept myself but now that I’ve got an idea of who I am, how I like myself and what not the scares that normal open and shown had faded away it’s not psychological scaring that its on the skin. Mentally and internal inside it goes to show who is winning and whose loosing; yet sometimes it’s no okay when your doing so well, then bam the scares and mental state comes out without warning. All that I can say is it’s okay to be you and no one else.

Revisit Case….Annabel Inorin how her story began and how it en

(Don’t worry this isn’t a scam all of my information came from a good friend of mine)

Annabel Iron. Let me cast your minds back when I introduced you to her back in July/August 2017. I just wanted to refresh your memory why theses children need your help. At the time Annabel was 11 year old little girl; who looked like a normal little from Nigeria, she is a normal little girl but suffered from “Arrhythmias” yet she didn’t really have much of a life due to this horrible disease that effected her heart. She couldn’t do anything like any other child her age without fallen tired or become very sick. The fact that she was fighting it without any medical care or medication that could help her cope with it.

At the time of her being alive she didn’t have the right equipment or the right medication to be given the have a normal life. Annabel had to continue throughout the night and rely on the hand and foot by the hospital staff and her parents. Knowing that someone like Annabel who is suffering with “Arrhythmias” could pass away at anytime; due to the fact that they don’t have the right equipment and medical attention that they need throughout the day, to which they are missing out on having a normal life and not having to worry about her life wouldn’t be life threatening everyday but also to meet new people and be able to play with friends. However between 31st July – 6th August 2017 Annabel had passed away in her sleep with her family around her. The doctors and nurses tried everything to make her feel comfortable as much as possible but due to lack of equipment and medical care that they didn’t have at the time. Her tiny little 11 year old body couldn’t keep on fighting for much longer.
I have a huge respect for her family, her parents, her doctors and her nurses who have tried everything to help her feel comfortable and help her to be positive about everything. Even with all the odds were stacking up against them all. Trust me I’ve been working with special needs children from the age 21 until present still working with them.

I’ve seen first hand of children like Annabel coming and going with so many medical equipment that they need, medication that they need due to the health conditions. They are lucky in the U.K. that they have good health system that they depend on because you would never know each day to the next what will happen. The day I was told the news of Annabel passing it had truly hit home because I knew what it was like working with someone like Annabel.

All I can say is if you can find your heart to support a child who has a medical condition or a disability in the U.K. or your country; you can branch out a little to get some medical equipment and medication that they need in Nigeria, all I’m asking is to give a little amount that you can give by donating to this link below. That covers everything from the cases you read.

https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/rufflescarebear

Revisit Case….Famlies in need of help with school things

Don’t worry this isn’t a scam all of my information came from a good friend of mine)

There are four children who use the foundation for other usage for the money such as money that provides school clothes and school equipment that they need to use everyday. You have Jackson age 7, Tobe age 7, the twins Theresa and Tony age 6. Their parents didn’t know where to go to ask for help or come to help them like our system that helps us gain money to buy school equipment and school clothes for our children.

The foundation in Nigeria helps not just for the children in the home but also to help the children who also would like to attend to school to learn. So each child’s parents had an idea/been recommended by a someone; that we also work along side parents to help them by providing them their school fees, to which we find that they are now going to school and to be able to follow their dreams. Due to the generosity of the donations that’s been coming in to help them.

There are so many families that want what’s best for their children like our four awesome stars that took part in this type of story. Every child has a dream and every parent want to see their child succeed in schools and go off to see the world as their parents couldn’t achieve their goals at the time that they were that age.

In aid of helping like Jackson, Tobe, Theresa and Toby is by helping by donating no matter how much to Ruffles Care Bear who is the mascot of this blog who loves to looking after children to make them feel better.

https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/rufflescarebear

Revisit case of….: Taiya and Kehinde Adventure

(Don’t worry this isn’t a scam all of my information came from a good friend of mine) 



You think your whole world is normal or think your whole world could be upside down just one tiny little thing. Yet what happens if your just 8 or 5 years old witnessing your parents get murdered on your door step? That’s what happened to these two brothers who’s whole world just turned upside down.

The eldest brother didn’t have time to think about what happened; it was what’s going to happen next if the murders found them, and where they going to be killed too. He had to get his brother out of the most dangerous and frightening place.
Taiya is 8 years old and his brother Kehinda is now 6 years old. These two brave heroes who kept each other alive; from witnessing their family in a community fight to their family home burnt to the ground. At the time that this was happening Taiya was at 8 years old and Kehinda was 5 years old; Taiya has to persuade his younger brother to come with him because it was no longer safe for them to be there anymore, but also Taiya was also the only living family he had left that could protect him and find somewhere to live to be safe from any danger that may come their way.
One day Taiya had seen an on coming van that was going to Asba; as it had stopped they sneaked onto the bus without being caught, as they had arrived at Asba and sneaking off the van.

They tried to ask people for help. However they just completely ignored them and carried on doing their daily chores; despite how hard Taiya and Kehinda’s hard work in asking for people’s help, they were drawing to hunger and tired by that stage but weren’t given up. Yet a friendly and kind gentleman of whom had been watching them for awhile had came up to Taiya; explained that he had thought he was doing a marvellous job of looking after his brother, even if they both witnessed a horrific murder and coming all this way to get help.
The gentleman explained that it was his turn to look after them because he knew a place that they can stay as long as they want, along the way he explained that Ofuobi Foundation Home is for children who are in need and they can both stay together as one family unit along with meeting with new people. Taiya can also can be himself and grieve along side with his brother with the support and care that the foundation gives out.
They stay in contact with the friendly gentlemen who had helped them; I believe that they wanted to give something back to him, by showing him that they can grow up as two fine handsome men. Getting their story out there to share with the world what they had to endure as young children; from one nice civilian that they came across, they want to try the world who may help even more by donating no matter how much they can afford.

In aid of helping like Taiya and Kehinda is by helping by donating no matter how much to Ruffles Care Bear who is the mascot of this blog who loves to looking after children to make them feel better.

https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/rufflescarebear


Friday Time Recap Time: Emotions run high when ones ill.

After all week trying to figure out what to write for this blog tonight; it occurred to me how much my emotions have been all over the place because of being ill with the flu, didn’t even realise or remember how much having a cold effected me that badly before until now.

The fact that I’ve had been waking up at stupid o’clock not thinking that I’m going down with anything to begin with; yet feeling hungry in the middle of the night, can’t sleep and etc. No one likes being ill at the end of the day but I find it a lot harder to express my feelings more when I’m not well because I could never express them in the first place. Long story for the reason why; let’s just say no one knows if I’m okay or not, because I keep to myself and don’t say anything until I end up in tears.

That’s when people notice something isn’t right to be honest; I don’t even notice when I’ve got a cold or anything because when I can’t hear that’s when my parents and my sister notice apparently I mumble and talk quietly. I never know that I do that until they point it out.

I generally don’t know when I’m going down with something until one day out of the blue like I had the other day; didn’t even see the signs of going down with something until I got it, and felt dreadful with my body that ached and etc.

Going to rest up as much as I can good night peeps.

Everyday Post: Constant mind that keeps swimming

Ever thought why your mind always constantly keeps on swimming; your trying to gasp for air but you seem to keep on being dragged down because of all the thoughts inside your head, then your like why isn’t anyone listening to me? Why has no one noticed that I’m drowning? Why has no one noticed that I’ve gone missing?

Yet every time you scream for help load of water seems to enter your mouth making you chock, splutter and everything else. Yet still not hearing you? Then your body gives up trying to fight the water as the gravity starts to pull you down; that’s when people started to notice that your drowning, or even missing until the notice your body sinking to the bottom of the pool.

That was when everyone dived in to try and a rescue; fighting all of the Black nodded creatures that surrounded you, that was when they soon realise that your mind has completed under water. Once they got you out of the water you start to chock and spitting water out of your mouth.

You were in hospital for days but you were giving signs of improvement each day; trying to get yourself better but yet your mind was still feeling under water, until it all came clear to you one day that someone had come through the door to visit you. That’s when you were finally out of the water inside your head.

Day 25 Of 30 Days Challenge for Autumn: Online Diary Entries: Revisit – Look at what you made me do

Kindly would like to remind you that this is my opinion and you have the right to believe this or not as you have a opinion as well. I won’t judge you but please respect other people’s opinions and mine when you comment if you wish to do so. This is a Revisit of my previous look at what you made me do.

“I’m sorry you found the old lizzy in this diary. I’m sorry that I can’t come today do you know why?”

“Why?”

“Oh, because the old herself is dead”

I don’t like your little games anymore; as you damaged my life even more so like you can’t even tell, don’t like your titled stage because the role you made me play like the fool of someone who doesn’t know what’s going on. No I don’t like you and I don’t like your perfect crime. How you laugh when you lie to my face like the gun was mine. This isn’t cool no and I don’t like you. Yet at least I’ve got smarter and harder in the nick of time as I rose up from the dead and I’ll do it all the time over and over again.

I’ve got a list of names and yours can you see is underlined in red. I’ll be Mrs Claus I check it once and then I’ll check it twice. Oh! I don’t like your kingdom keys anymore as they had once use to be mine; you asked if I had a place to stay, yet I told you that the world moves on another day another drama and guess what but not for me as I’m going to take on the world because all I can think about is karma. I’ve got mine yet you’ll get yours as I’ve got smarter and a lot harder in the nick of time. Guess what honey I have rose up from the dead and continue to do that all that all the time. I don’t trust anybody and nobody trust me but I’ll be the actress starring in your bad dreams.

Health & Wellbeing: First month of autumn over

Health & Wellbeing of mental health and everything else especially when it comes to first month of autumn.

Our first English autumn is now and well and truly over. The fact that I’m going to do the Truth, the bad and the ugly for this one because I found it a bit easier to talk about certain things that matter to me. If I found certain things difficult or easy or something along the lines of that. So here we go.


September has been quite difficult in some areas. The fact that I had started a new job I felt anxious and afraid until I managed to find my feet. Yeah might of put someone in there place a few times in a space of a month; I finally found my feet, putting my things I know into place and working well. Relationship hasn’t been that easy either this month lots of insecurities and everything but always seemed to work out for the best at the end of the day. Polystic Overias Syndrome hasn’t been so nice to me this week either especially with my hormones.


The bad thing is when my depression starts to kick in; I start to feel rotten, I don’t know what’s going on in my head or within myself. Everything seems to not go right. Unless I’m going down with something or my hormones start playing up then that’s another cattle of fish. That’s when the ugly side comes in when nobody wants to take the full brunt of it all. To be fair I don’t really blame them. Unless it’s Caspain then he just takes it on dead on and stamp it out of it as best he could.


The most ugly thing about mental health and Polystic Overias Syndrome is that at the worst times they both come at the same time. I don’t understand when I have this problem where my hormones start to kick in; I can tell you now that this is very rare for me to have it now days, but when it comes it kicks off my mental health and I just can’t cope with it. Especially with both at the same time and it’s really truly horrible all I wanted to do is stay in bed and just cry. That’s the hardest thing that could ever happen to me. Not easy to say the least.

More to the point now that we have just finished one month of autumn; about to begin the next month autumn; we all know how English weather can be so depressing, and a whole lot worse than people like me have to face it everyday. Heyho I just have to keep on fighting it everyday.

Mental Health VS Writing

The day I never felt I wanted to cry and say good bye to my writing.

What I find hardest is that when I’m so low about things or stressed out with things; it generally effects my writing abilities in the way that what’s the point in writing, I’m not good enough, no one wants to read them. I have never really took much noticed in the way that how much my writing is so connected and how important it is in my life.

Yet I’m the one constantly fighting my way through the of not giving up on the writing; even when I don’t know what to write or struggling to write about things, sometimes maybe I need a break from it all. I don’t know. Yet then how can I let down my readers and followers down if I just quit and gave up on the whole thing.

I love writing so much but it just hard enough to keep my emotions in check; not to share my frustrations, anger, hatred or show so much upset through my writing but yet that’s how I generally work when I write. However but it’s the only way I can seem to get my emotions through paper is share my words down. Than talking about it verbally.

Sorry this is short this week but still it’s something for this week; I may have something for you later in the week, along side hustle and bustle advice of blogging extra. My question is for you is what would do if I gave up blogging? Let me know down in the comments. It’s alright I haven’t made a decision on what I’m doing yet. I doubt I’ll will give it up I worked to hard to give it up.

When is it time to say enough is enough?

The thought of loosing so much sleep and dreaming a lot; all because your feeling anxious or depressed or even stressed, you just want to say enough is enough.

Today’s Sunday Special I thought about things; it made me think about turning to God or to the church, I know that I can turn to Caspian as he’s been a life saver and someone who I could trust. However can I turn to god; what can I trust religion side of things, even growing up in a Christian family but it’s a lot more in trusting to turn to faith than someone that you love. That’s just my opinion of how I think and feel about things; of who to trust and not to trust, that’s where I maybe its my anxious and depression kicked in.

Past week I had felt the lowest of the low; stressed out, depressed and anxious. Which by the end of the week with the things; I ended up feeling ill emotionally, headache’s, another with health had started to kick in and everything else had started to kick in. To the point of not being able to cope; the initial fear of people coming too close to my liking in my bubble, when I’m in that state of mind that I couldn’t cope with more symptoms kicking in.  

The question is when is it the time to say enough is enough; is it when you know when your ready for time is right?, when are you going to next fall?, who is going to catch me if I did fall?. The whole flight and fight mode had started or would started to kick in. 

Caspian has been my been my awesome rock; he be there when I needed him the most, I know that he’s not going to abounded what so ever. He also when I know that he’s the one trying to help me; be the supportive, caring and everything else. I know I can trust him more and more; trying to find ways to be together is harder than we thought, until I say something out of the ordering and we both know how stupid the whole situation is at the time. 

That’s how a true friendship or relationship goes because you know when you get that close to someone; you love them to bits, along side with the whole I trust you along the way. Yes I can be like I’m backing out at times but he knows how insecure I am; how I haven’t got much believe in myself nor the courage to ask things, in case of being rejected in one way or another. 

When things come back to me; he knows as soon as I start flipping out on him, he reminds me that he’s not going anywhere, not going to give up on me along with the three words of I love you. It gives me that sign of encouragement that I’m not going to give up on myself; I have my knight in shinning armer ready to come and save me no matter what it’s wrong, knowing I have him by myself. That’s when I know enough is enough for me to keep fighting and fighting him. Meaning that I trust him more than previous relationships I had in the past; he is such a nice guy all round, I wouldn’t give up on him either if he had his moments. 

You basically know how to fight things if you know; you have that person to fight things with, no matter how tough it is to begin with but at the end of the day you know you have that one person being dependent on and visa.