Friday Time Recap Time – Friday Diary Online Entries: Break Free Of The Pain

Whatever you believe this or not it’s up to you. I know the truth that’s all that counts.

I told you when we first met that I had problems but you still loved me know matter what; if you want to help me and be with me take it, because I shouldn’t of said that you should of leave as the amount of times I pushed you away. I tried to hide it. I tried to fake it but I can’t pretend anymore; I only wanted to die alive because of my open wounds have now been opened, knowing that you’ve seen my vulnerability more by the hands of people in my past and I don’t want to hear about the person anymore.

Now that I’ve become who I really am because of you I’m now stronger than I’ve become who I really am; this is the part where I want to say “I want you more than ever” as this is the part where we both know I’m breaking free from my past, because I can’t resist it and can’t go back to it no more. Your better. Deeper inside me with hope and kindness like the highway of goodness.

You always had this little patience with me but I’m still hurting from all of the love that I had lost in the past; I can feel your frustration because all you want to do is stop all of my pain, you just want to hold me close and keep me safe in your arms tonight. Don’t be hard on my emotions because I need time as my heart feel so numb as I’m still healing. Please still have the little patience as I really want to start over again I know that your my salvation because your the one that I can always depend on.
I’m trying to be strong believe me it’s taken it out on me no matter how much anxiety I had to face believe me I’m trying to move on and take control. You know how complicated it is but your the only one that understands me. You can see the amount of scars that have been running so deep; it’s hard to believe that you have been fighting for me, it’s been long for you no matter how painful to see me go through so much and yet still continue to stay put no matter what I chuck at you. You always had that patient for me.

Yet I’m breaking free from all of the pain; finding my confidence once again, making me feeling strong and know when I’m weak. Your my everything as I’ve cried so many tears for you; it’s taken me lot to say but I’ve pushed my pride away to tell you that I love you so much, because what we got is worth fighting for and you are my everything.

Revisit Case….Annabel Inorin how her story began and how it en

(Don’t worry this isn’t a scam all of my information came from a good friend of mine)

Annabel Iron. Let me cast your minds back when I introduced you to her back in July/August 2017. I just wanted to refresh your memory why theses children need your help. At the time Annabel was 11 year old little girl; who looked like a normal little from Nigeria, she is a normal little girl but suffered from “Arrhythmias” yet she didn’t really have much of a life due to this horrible disease that effected her heart. She couldn’t do anything like any other child her age without fallen tired or become very sick. The fact that she was fighting it without any medical care or medication that could help her cope with it.

At the time of her being alive she didn’t have the right equipment or the right medication to be given the have a normal life. Annabel had to continue throughout the night and rely on the hand and foot by the hospital staff and her parents. Knowing that someone like Annabel who is suffering with “Arrhythmias” could pass away at anytime; due to the fact that they don’t have the right equipment and medical attention that they need throughout the day, to which they are missing out on having a normal life and not having to worry about her life wouldn’t be life threatening everyday but also to meet new people and be able to play with friends. However between 31st July – 6th August 2017 Annabel had passed away in her sleep with her family around her. The doctors and nurses tried everything to make her feel comfortable as much as possible but due to lack of equipment and medical care that they didn’t have at the time. Her tiny little 11 year old body couldn’t keep on fighting for much longer.
I have a huge respect for her family, her parents, her doctors and her nurses who have tried everything to help her feel comfortable and help her to be positive about everything. Even with all the odds were stacking up against them all. Trust me I’ve been working with special needs children from the age 21 until present still working with them.

I’ve seen first hand of children like Annabel coming and going with so many medical equipment that they need, medication that they need due to the health conditions. They are lucky in the U.K. that they have good health system that they depend on because you would never know each day to the next what will happen. The day I was told the news of Annabel passing it had truly hit home because I knew what it was like working with someone like Annabel.

All I can say is if you can find your heart to support a child who has a medical condition or a disability in the U.K. or your country; you can branch out a little to get some medical equipment and medication that they need in Nigeria, all I’m asking is to give a little amount that you can give by donating to this link below. That covers everything from the cases you read.

https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/rufflescarebear

Friday Time Recap Time: First 5 days of 365 days of the year 2018

 

Yay can’t believe the first 5 days of the new year has finally been completed feels like it’s been longer than that but that’s probably because lots of things has happened in the first 5 days of 2018 that you wouldn’t probably expect. In the title I could of been wrong with x amount of days it’s either 364 days or 365 days; do I really care most probably not, because I’m that exhausted that I can’t think or anything. Let me explain my first 5 days of this year had come about.

This year instead of resolutions I started with goals because I know I can go back to them throughout the year; along with two close people who I trust know will help me stick to them as much as I can, if you want to know what they are. Why not check this weeks Wednesday Evening Post (3rd January 2018) as it’s on there.

The first two days weren’t the best start of the new year due to personal reasons along with me not sleeping properly as well. It never starts well for me in the new year I believe but I could be just being sensitive or something I don’t know; I’m just taking each day as it comes than rushing it all the time, I had two successful positives so far already to which is a good start in my book.

I have challenged myself to take control of my life the way I want it; I’ve actually started to save money which is a good start, and along side that I had the best positive news about my hearing where there wasn’t anything wrong with my hearing. The fact that one is weaker than the other one but the dr was confident that I should be fine and don’t need to worry about anything; yet its me being paranoid and anxious over my hearing, yet asked for hearing aid assessment just to be on the safety reasons and double check.

Friday Time Recap Time: Emotions run high when ones ill.

After all week trying to figure out what to write for this blog tonight; it occurred to me how much my emotions have been all over the place because of being ill with the flu, didn’t even realise or remember how much having a cold effected me that badly before until now.

The fact that I’ve had been waking up at stupid o’clock not thinking that I’m going down with anything to begin with; yet feeling hungry in the middle of the night, can’t sleep and etc. No one likes being ill at the end of the day but I find it a lot harder to express my feelings more when I’m not well because I could never express them in the first place. Long story for the reason why; let’s just say no one knows if I’m okay or not, because I keep to myself and don’t say anything until I end up in tears.

That’s when people notice something isn’t right to be honest; I don’t even notice when I’ve got a cold or anything because when I can’t hear that’s when my parents and my sister notice apparently I mumble and talk quietly. I never know that I do that until they point it out.

I generally don’t know when I’m going down with something until one day out of the blue like I had the other day; didn’t even see the signs of going down with something until I got it, and felt dreadful with my body that ached and etc.

Going to rest up as much as I can good night peeps.

Friday Time Recap Time: Coming Soon Lizzysweeklyblogs Merchandise/Products

Remember me talking about or asked you guys about having lizzysweeklyblogs store on facebook; not sure if I got many replies to it or many likes for it, I had thought about bringing it back up again but this time bringing it up on here but sharing my current in progress handmade things that I’m bringing out. I wish to have your comments about them wether it’s a good idea to have my merchandise coming out or not. Wether it’s too soon or not after 2 years of break through is the best idea.

I would like to know from you guys wether it’s good idea or not. Let me know what you reckon to what I have made so far. If you want to suggest any ideas to me in a long run if you think it’s a good idea let me know also down below. Okay as you guys are probably nice and wrapped up warm under a blanket. Your probably thinking I just want to see what your red head blogger has made so far.

Okay okay okay… here’s the first one. Little postcards currently have three types of handmade postcards I haven’t written on them yet but I’ve got a few ideas how to do it but yet some need finishing colouring in before I do it. So far I have made one with a letter box, a positive postcard, and a child like person just like me on the front of the other one. I have got a few more ideas to go on some others but you have to wait and see for those when they have been created.

My other two awesome creations are currently two posters that I have now completed; one with a Post Box in the middle with two butterflies and two little girls coloured in with red hair to symbolise me as your blogger along with a positive quote to get you through the day. The second one that I have created I’m not 100% but I’ll let you guys decide on it, but has three girls obviously symbolising me off course, a Post Box, a dog, two little flowers and two butterflies.

I am intrigued in what you guys have to say about these so far. Obviously I haven’t presented it well but when all of the work has completed and etc then I will have them more presentable and more smarter than they are all ready. Let me know what you think about them.

Friday Time Recap Time: Survivor Story Of a Solider

As remembrance Day is drawing in. Every city, town and villages start to decorate their areas to commentate the fallen soldiers who gave their lives for us through World War One, World war 2 and the current wars in Syria and surrounding areas. We also must remember who are still fighting today but as they return they suffer extreme mental health and lost of limbs. Who are battling the next war in their minds. This is a story of what it might be like for a survivor of a solider.

This is a story that I’ve never told. Your now listening to me as I am crying out for your help but you think I’m just doing it for attention; thinking that I’m a bad person but all this is what I have seen in the war zone, yet I have to deal with my injuries, the scaring and the mental issues such like PTSD, Depression and many more. I have to get this off my chest and let it go.

I need you take back the light that the light the war had stole because that’s a criminal and it steals like a pro. All the pain and the truth I just wear it like a battle wound; yet deep down I’m so ashamed so confused, I sit in that room thinking I’m all alone, broken and bruised.

I’m now a warrior with thinker skin and stronger than I’ve ever been I have armour that’s made out of steel because you can’t get in because I’m a warrior once again. Knowing that you can’t hurt me again with the painful memories of what I’ve seen with all of the help that I need to get me by.

It’s like I’m coming out of the ashes of burning eagle; you can save your apologies because your nothing like a liar who don’t know what’s going on in the war zone, I got shame but I’ve also got scars that I will never have to show again. I’m survivor in so many’s than you know; there’s a part of me that I can’t get back as it only took one look, and I’ll be never be the same again. Yet I’m taking my life back today as there is nothing left for you to say because you were never going to take the blame anyways.

Can age gap relationships really last?

Friday Time Recap Time is back this week after a long break as I don’t even remember the last time I actually wrote one for tonight’s time/session. As I was writing my day 13 for 30 Days Challenge for Autumn realising that this month is the birth of my blog; as I was writing it I relieved how I find my titles, and what gave me the boost of what I needed for my blogs.

So I revisited a topic show that I would use for my blogs and have a look at what titles that I could use that would stand out for me. Which also gives me a chance to touch base with what I use to do in my first year of blogging. The first one that I have decided to touch base on is Can age gap relationships be a problem? Will they work?

Personally in my opinion age gap doesn’t both me in the slightest because I’ve dated a few that are older than me; it wasn’t a problem for me at all yeah we had issues at the time because thats life, and split because of the issues that were occurring but nothing to do with the age a gap.

I am happy with the person that I am with now; yet they know that I have my doubts and insecurities etc, but without him being 6 – 7 years older than me I managed to over come the fears’ the doubts and the insecurities. We also work through our problems and many other things.

It depends on you and the person your with. It’s no one else’s business to be honest because at the end of the day it’s your happenings and no one else. However I do have a set limit on age bracket it but thats because its too weird for me and the people who I am thinking off.

Yet I am fine with x amounts of years older or younger with a limit of the age bracket that I have set myself at both ends. It’s your life your mind your feelings if you have a connection then go for it you won’t know without even trying it. Things may work it may not work but at the end of the day its your decision of what you want to do and have the common sense of doing it safely and securely.

Day 6 Of 30 Days Challenge for Autumn: Diary Online Entries: Bridge over my trouble waters

Wether you believe this or not it’s your opinion not mine. I respect your opinion but I know what’s true.


When I first met you I don’t know where to begin; so I start by saying that I would refuse forget you, I would refuse to be silenced and I refuse to neglect you because that’s for the every last soul up in heaven who sacrificed their souls to save ours. Even if I never met you I know that you could of been my dad, my mum, my sister, my brother, my niece, my nephew, my daughter or my son. Waving a plain white sheet out on the no mansland; but I can see your white tee up there in heaven as I’m with my friends on the ground trying to see up there knowing that your now at rest, and feeling free from all the pain you have up there.

I can feel your pain on the ground of who you have left behind; but we went back to the block where you grew up with your children, chilling out watching the other children running around playing in the road and the troubled water cams running past. That’s when I swiftly grabbed hold of your children; having to witness your death, and hearing how you died as we ran away from the torment that you had endure. I’ve come back with an army to build you a bridge to come back over for visits like they remember you.

When you’re weary and feeling small; the tears are in your eyes I will dry them all, I’m on your side and when the times get rough and tough. Friends are not only just can be found; theres a bridge over my trouble waters, thats where I will lay and just lay you down right there so that I can get comfort near you. There’s so much pain in my heart my community has moved me; they choose to gleam their bright light as we are facing the dark.

When you’re down and out walking the streets; the evening will fall so hard like a arm is wrapped around my shoulders, a voice will say “I will comfort you…yes I will” I’ll take your part when the darkness comes and all the pain is all around. I will lay down next to you; over the trouble waters but waiting for you to come across the safe crossing of the bridge, to be able to see you once again.

I refuse to forget you. I refuse neglect you. I refuse to let you go. I will fight for your memory. Your my hero, my saviour, my world and my protector. Lest we forget.

25 Facts About Me

Friday Time Recap Time this opening is an one off special as I haven’t planned it; didn’t really think that I was going to use it for 8 o’clock time but I will today as I have nothing planned, and this was half way completed at the time. So enjoy.


About time to when I should do a Q&A thing really and to be fair I was pretty bored. I wanted to do another blog instead of feeling sorry for myself for being ill and etc haha. So here’s are my answers to the picture up above but will put the numbers next to the answers so that you can refer back to the questions.


A1) Elizabeth Ruth Arrow.

A2) Capricorn.

A3) Meg Ann and few others.

A4) Pretty rubbish for a Friday.

A5) not answering.

A6) not sure at the moment.

A7) 5ft4 1/2.

A8) I have so many I don’t know where to begin.

A9) Writing, my phone and probably my bed right now.

A10) when people annoy me to the point of I can’t get out of it, being hurt and feeling rubbish towards myself.

A11) friends who know me well, kids that I work with, knowing that my blogs are okay.

A12) not sure.

A13) Prince Harry always be my secret crush (oops said that out loud), Hugh Grant and many others.

A14) did have five earrings in both ears,

A15) not sure.

A16) not sure.

A17) happy endings.

A18) iPad (haha).

A19) not hundred percent.

A20) this morning.

A21) definitely not.

A22) I can speak and understand none verbal talk.

A23) A few friends.

A24) nope once I’ve watched the series it’s finished don’t go back to it.

A25) your turn to ask me questions for a next Q&A session

Health & Wellbeing: First month of autumn over

Health & Wellbeing of mental health and everything else especially when it comes to first month of autumn.

Our first English autumn is now and well and truly over. The fact that I’m going to do the Truth, the bad and the ugly for this one because I found it a bit easier to talk about certain things that matter to me. If I found certain things difficult or easy or something along the lines of that. So here we go.


September has been quite difficult in some areas. The fact that I had started a new job I felt anxious and afraid until I managed to find my feet. Yeah might of put someone in there place a few times in a space of a month; I finally found my feet, putting my things I know into place and working well. Relationship hasn’t been that easy either this month lots of insecurities and everything but always seemed to work out for the best at the end of the day. Polystic Overias Syndrome hasn’t been so nice to me this week either especially with my hormones.


The bad thing is when my depression starts to kick in; I start to feel rotten, I don’t know what’s going on in my head or within myself. Everything seems to not go right. Unless I’m going down with something or my hormones start playing up then that’s another cattle of fish. That’s when the ugly side comes in when nobody wants to take the full brunt of it all. To be fair I don’t really blame them. Unless it’s Caspain then he just takes it on dead on and stamp it out of it as best he could.


The most ugly thing about mental health and Polystic Overias Syndrome is that at the worst times they both come at the same time. I don’t understand when I have this problem where my hormones start to kick in; I can tell you now that this is very rare for me to have it now days, but when it comes it kicks off my mental health and I just can’t cope with it. Especially with both at the same time and it’s really truly horrible all I wanted to do is stay in bed and just cry. That’s the hardest thing that could ever happen to me. Not easy to say the least.

More to the point now that we have just finished one month of autumn; about to begin the next month autumn; we all know how English weather can be so depressing, and a whole lot worse than people like me have to face it everyday. Heyho I just have to keep on fighting it everyday.