‘“Fine day Sunday…best day of the week. Why is that Dudley?” asked Uncle Vernon Dudley shrugged as he took a biscuit from Harry. “Right you are Harry. There’s no post on Sunday ha. Not one single bloody letter. Not one…..” Uncle Vernon to boast about being no post on Sundays.’
I’m afraid there is post on a Sunday but not through your letter box I do have to say; unless you read my blog posts online if you are following or subscribed or just merely scrolling through to what to read. For me I like to just write to be able to take my mind of things unless something catches my eye.
What bothers me is where that there’s genuine people who blog out there as a hobby for fun, help people through experiences by sharing their own and many more positive reasons. Then you have others who you think are they really doing for attention and possibly claiming to be someone else to make it out that it’s them. First off I hate when people make it all about them when you don’t actually know the full story or hear the other sides story.
Everyone has a story to tell but you really don’t need to share it to the whole world unless your one of those self centred people who are wanting the attention. I was watching a video that was bothering me that she was explaining the whole experience with her father but if it was so traumatic and true you would be sharing emotions as well.
I wouldn’t be able to share something like that if it happened to me I would off made sure that I had someone who I can trust to hold my hand. I would breakdown crying whilst telling the story and have mental health from it. It bothers me that people can make up stories just to ruin someone else’s life when you don’t actually know it’s true or not also people can use the internet to look up what’s actually true and what’s not true.
To be honest the whole world is self cantered to be honest I don’t understand why people think it’s okay to do what they do by hurting other people. I even made sure that my best friend a safe word or safe words when she goes out to watch one of her favourite singers for her birthday because I don’t know what would happen or something might happen to her that I don’t want to wake up to the news of something awful that might off happened.
Firstly would like to apologise for a late start posting I was planning originally a rant topic everyday post but to be honest I was quite glad that I didn’t post it up because I wasn’t really in the head space at all last night (27.3.18) really sorry about that. Normally I would share what’s on my mind but this one blog I didn’t feel happy about it or it didn’t feel right. So I decided to clear my mind and think of some blog ideas or have a day off. One of the two seemed quite happy with me to be honest so I thought it would be nice to welcome spring into 2018.
So last weekend the clocks sprung forwards which meant the days will be getting lighter than getting darker. Yay almost summer. I love the smell of spring and summer air because you know it’s going to rain or has been raining but you can’t tell it on the ground. Some people think I’m just weird that I know when it’s is or it has but if you haven’t been camping growing up then you won’t know how to survive even if you got a wet tent. I find that rain at this time of year very relaxing as I’m inside because it just sends me to sleep quite easily.
Today has been a complete utterly chilled day odd job this morning but I basically slept most of it because I think I’m going down with something now than the previous week. Think I’ve got it off my sister or someone because I feel so dreadful. Sorry if this is the only post you get for today. It’s like once your ill your ill and you can’t think what to write or do anything. I even just had beans on toast with cheese with one of my parents having it as well because I just don’t feel like eating anything. All I want is just junk food than healthy food.
I decided to kick off today how to distract your mind from stress, anxiety, depression and many other things if your over thinking too much. Don’t worry all of us have that day or so at different times but if your one of this people who don’t have any problems at all then your not human at all. I can tell you that now because you have no soul or anything what so ever. I know that sounded harsh but to be honest with you everyone has to have feelings.
There I said it being way to straight forward on that one does tend to get me into trouble but to be honest I’m up late can’t sleep anxious for nothing to be honest so I’ve decided to try and distract myself as much as possible. Yes I’m writing this currently 00:45am and I’ll be on the road at crack of dawn for my job so no change there people.
The things that help me to distract my mind is by writing, colouring in, problem solving, music and talking to my friends maybe retail therapy if I actually had money but don’t get me started please. I’ve got into recently a game of cards just a normal pack of cards playing solitaire and I’ve also downloaded solitaire and crown on my iPad so that I can just distract myself and also think what I need to do and where I need to place the cards. Candy crush is also a good game to play but run out lives quite quickly as well.
Taking up new hobbies as also a great thing to do as well because you may find that you never realise what you’re capable of doing without giving it a shot to be honest. Anything that you might like to do and think I can do that. I’ll give it a shot I think.
Sometimes I begin to wonder weather I should study criminology course it looks appealing to me and sometimes I get asked by a friend for advice on something’s like criminology just on the outside purposes of course as they study law. Not like I’ve got law degree or anything like that but sometimes having someone’s opinion on a situation whether the criminal or the person who’s being questioned about something whether it’s their fault or not.
To be fair I’m not a criminology student or working with any sort of law in forcemeat it have a pretty much a good idea of what to look out for. Mostly it comes down to common sense and what was the life behind close doors before they have met and after. Sometimes it takes years to get people to crack but sometimes people still want to control things even if they are still behind bars; as I’ve watched something the other day where someone’s father still tried to control the situation, where a daughter and grandson were looking for long lost mother/grandmother who went missing but there was no body or anything that they can explain if she was murdered or she did actually just disappear and not to be found.
That case was closed once again because the father wasn’t going to be budge or tell where the body had gone. It was similar case with child killers on the moors in Devon I think it was and the killer still had control of the person who was with him at the time until she died. He still didn’t give up the information at all for the family who was still looking for the body and answers in where it is. Then only within few years he died because he was trying to die and refuse to give in to give anymore evidence.
The fact that people who still try to ring round people and control them because they don’t want to leave the earth like they have lost everything that’s around them that they have built up. Cases like these back then life was life not these days you get 5-10 years imprisonment that is life because you know they will be out again in no time for good behaviour bounds.
That won’t bring back the person who was killed or the family who want justice. I could go on and on about these sort things. I won’t because at the end of the day what do I know I’m just a low paying worker and write on the side. Sorry this isn’t a story day as you guys much hoped it would be but will find somethings that might get my stories going once again.
I’m not sure if it’s me or it’s just people deciding to get up into my personal space where they think it’s okay to evade it then wonder why I’m so grouchy, anxious and frustrated. I’ve noticed quite a lot over the years today of all days (25.3.18) that I’ll try and push myself to go out with the family so that I won’t let the whole anxiety take control and what not.
You know what younger siblings are like take the longest to do everything and so on. If you haven’t then come and spend the day with me then you know what it’s like to be honest I don’t remember taking that long at her age; so I decided to message her to say are you nearly ready as I’m considering not going because I’m feeling rather anxious. To which prompted to move quickly and out of her room. To be fair I think she knows that I struggle most days when it’s family outing that I do go when it comes to my anxiety because I know sometimes places get busy and when I’m in that frame of mind not a nice combo.
Today we were at a seaside town as we had to change our plans a bit because something happened personal reasons that I do not wish to discuss right now. We were about to leave a couple sort of sprint walked over to our table I barely came round to walk or to move out of the way I was sandwiched between my family and them to which I started to get into a slight panic attack and clostaphopic. I really didn’t understand why people have to do that to be honest yeah my family couldn’t do much about it at the time but other people seriously.
I was just glad to be going home after our little walk along the sea but my word the reality of every little thing had started to kick in where other people taking ages to drive, long time being in the car, the radio was being so noisy, my music wasn’t helping to calm my head down and cyclists on the roads causing more problems. I was like I’m not even at work and there’s full of idiots on the roads. That was when I knew I just wanted to get home quite quickly before I had a breakdown because I just couldn’t cope anymore with stupid people to be honest.
It probably sounds like it’s me being stupid to be honest. Normally it is me being stupid. Hahaha.
It’s that time of year again ladies and gents of the U.K that we have reached that time of moving our clocks forward an hour which means losing an hours sleep tomorrow (25.3.18) yuppie great one whoever made that one up and making it become the national thing to do. Mind you as we all know I don’t sleep any way so it doesn’t matter to me in the first place.
Like last night I lost fair bit amount of sleep to the point of me getting up early to have a shower before anyone else because my hair drove me mad as normal plus my anxiety seem to be playing up more and more. So it was shower it was in the end at 7:00am whilst everyone was a sleep; now that I’m feeling a lot better with my hair, and my anxiety has seems to slow down a bit more than it was.
I love the day light more than the dark days because it’s less creepy and more people are about. I’ve never really like the dark anyways since being a kid. Nothing to do with mental health or anything. It’s just that it feels like we’re constantly being in the dark all the time; no matter what time of year it is because it’s like we are living in someone else life of being constant dark.
Yet the trees are slowly coming out with their beautiful colours as they starting to blossom. Giving us up that spring is coming along side summer to follow as well. I don’t understand the longest day and the shortest day why would you have that. Most things don’t make any sense to me what so ever to me like for example for me I think yes light warm hot and feeling happy that it’s going to be a nice quiet time. Then I forget how much I hate my neighbour on the other side in the next road that’s backs on the end of the garden of mine well my neighbours. You get the mother screaming and shouting a dog barking. You think well no peace and quiet for the wicked.