Saturday Topics: Done with self centred people

The past couple of days I’ve felt like everyone is making it out that’s my fault that I’m not giving them attention or doing what they want because one way or another they are feeling lonely or desperate to fill in the gap of being loved by someone. I don’t understand how bad people have to be just to make it all about them. 

There’s so many people in this world that I’ve come across who think and accuse me off things that some may know the reasons why but still continue to make out that I’m the worst enemy. Actually they are their own worst enemy of themselves to be quite frankly yet I’m sitting there stroking their poor ego and everything until I open my mouth that I having problems. 

I’m so tired of people using abusing my good nature and my abusing my good heart that is big enough to care for everyone but thinks it’s okay to destroy me and what I’m good for. I’m sick and tired of it to be honest with you. Might as well let few people go so that they know what they have lost what’s best for them. 

Don’t understand the world: Not 100% what’s going on with Theresa May.

I don’t understand Theresa May because now that she’s landed herself in hot water with the government in parliament for not calling on them about the air strikes because she chose to listen to the power that’s gone to her head and probably Trump who rightly needs his head looking at to be honest with you. 

My first thoughts when I heard about the air strikes (16.4.18) that Theresa May made that call on it and not involving anyone what she was doing. I’m like great there’s going to be more attacks on our soil if we don’t be careful; to which we manage to take on the abound vehicle outside Buckingham Palace few weeks ago, and it got me thinking about this time last year when everything was going on in my country. 

I’m like so she can make a decision on what’s happening in other countries without consulting the government but when it’s on her front door set she has no clue or care how many of us get killed but we take law into our on hands by risking our own lives to help others who are in need of help when something bad happens. We make Britain great not her all she does is undoes it all by doing something stupid like that drawing more attention to us. It’s like Trump all over again. I rather our country to stay out of things knowingly if we do something it will come back more than 10 times worse. 

What are May’s thought processes when she does things like that? What does she actually feel? I just don’t understand whats going on her head? Is she becoming unhinged once again? 

Sunday Special Topics: I think my life is like a rock!

You’re probably thinking why is she comparing her life as a grey rock; I can answer you that it was the wrestler turned actor Dwayne “The Rock” what’s his face name gave me the idea for the title as I just saw his picture on something, I was contemplating about my life like I do most days and I was just like I just want to hit someone or some people with my rock or a brick because they annoy me to the point of they needing one thrown at them. By the way I wouldn’t do that anyway neither should you in the first place. Good thanks for the promise. 

Sometimes I rather just lay underneath my rock and just stay there. Don’t want to come out or nothing because what’s the point in life if there’s not much to do or anything loads of thoughts in my head. I rather just hide away in my cosy rock that I call “home” or “my comfort rock” not sure how a rock can be comfy but you can give it ago.

I find that people who come across me think I’m bubbly, funny, find it more funny that I say it how it is, relaxed and etc. At the best of times can’t work me out if I’m dead serious or not until I crack a smile of I just got you and burst out laughing. When I’m not myself and burst out crying they don’t even know what to do with me because I’m normally like the bubbly person to be around. You know they are trying to help but never know what to do. 

I’m like it’s fine I’m just having a blip and the next minute I’m mucking about and having a laugh with everyone. I always find away of knowing how to bounce back when I’m having one the blip moment. Yeah my life is like a rock that I just want to throw one at someone, stay underneath or just crumble that’s basically my cycle my routine if you like to call it. Just had to double check the correct spelling of grey if I had the right one for the my britishness and it’s says “grey” and “gray” are accepted in English language so it doesn’t matter which word I use it still same word and meaning. Just the US prefer to use “Gray” in their English language. Fun fact for a Sunday. 

Everyday Post: Catching up with Netflix!

Saturday 14th April 2018 spring has finally arrived along with the flowers and buds on the trees are starting to blossom; sun is finally out in the nice, warm weather and I get to be out of the house but not sit in the back garden unless you call the cabin outside with the doors wide open being outside with the internet. 

I’ve spent a fair good few hours sitting in the cabin catching up on Netflix watching Once Upon A Time with my headphones in and writing up my blog titles. The luxurious of having Netflix back up and running is one thing in mind is that I get to catch up with my favourite shows all in one hit whilst doing something needing doing in a fancy notebook. 

It’s one of my old notebooks I’ve had for a long time lost the elastic on it but doesn’t matter to be honest still looks pretty with the purple, the black and the brown background board. I think I got it from Paperchase one of their older makes that they use to have years ago. If you don’t know what Paperchase is it’s a stationary shop in the Uk love their stationery things even if it’s expensive but I don’t care I have expensive taste for things. 

Haven’t brought anything in there for myself for a long time but can’t wait to have some money that I can buy a load more new notebooks the last time I’ve had a load of notebooks from there was probably Christmas or my birthday can’t remember. I’m in love with notebooks and stationery things I have a sense of style and what I like to write in. 

I love having something to listen to or watch whilst I’m writing because it keeps me going if there’s something that I’m interested in. It’s just keeps the creativity of the brain of mine going for example like this it gave me this for an idea for a blog along with my notebook that I’m using for my blog titles saving me using paper now so I’ve got something in a book so I can look back to what I have done threw out the year. Can’t wait to write more things whilst having Netflix going on in the background well in my ears haha. 

Everyday Post: Don’t believe what people say on social media

‘“Fine day Sunday…best day of the week. Why is that Dudley?” asked Uncle Vernon Dudley shrugged as he took a biscuit from Harry. “Right you are Harry. There’s no post on Sunday ha. Not one single bloody letter. Not one…..” Uncle Vernon to boast about being no post on Sundays.’

I’m afraid there is post on a Sunday but not through your letter box I do have to say; unless you read my blog posts online if you are following or subscribed or just merely scrolling through to what to read. For me I like to just write to be able to take my mind of things unless something catches my eye.

What bothers me is where that there’s genuine people who blog out there as a hobby for fun, help people through experiences by sharing their own and many more positive reasons. Then you have others who you think are they really doing for attention and possibly claiming to be someone else to make it out that it’s them. First off I hate when people make it all about them when you don’t actually know the full story or hear the other sides story.

Everyone has a story to tell but you really don’t need to share it to the whole world unless your one of those self centred people who are wanting the attention. I was watching a video that was bothering me that she was explaining the whole experience with her father but if it was so traumatic and true you would be sharing emotions as well.

I wouldn’t be able to share something like that if it happened to me I would off made sure that I had someone who I can trust to hold my hand. I would breakdown crying whilst telling the story and have mental health from it. It bothers me that people can make up stories just to ruin someone else’s life when you don’t actually know it’s true or not also people can use the internet to look up what’s actually true and what’s not true.

To be honest the whole world is self cantered to be honest I don’t understand why people think it’s okay to do what they do by hurting other people. I even made sure that my best friend a safe word or safe words when she goes out to watch one of her favourite singers for her birthday because I don’t know what would happen or something might happen to her that I don’t want to wake up to the news of something awful that might off happened.

Everyday Post: Why can’t certain men admit that they are wrong?

Before I get started I thought I might give Everyday Post a good spring clean by giving it a new pictures and set of look as I’ve given most of the other categories a new set of meaning over the past few months so I decided to give Everyday Post the attention that it deserves. Now that’s that for its little intro the topic for today is why can’t certain men admit that they are wrong?

I find that people who actually care and know that they did wrong admit it and try to fix the problem but people who are too proud to say that they are wrong. Trust me I’ve experienced that as well it’s like okay let’s be a bigger person here but yet they still haven’t got the gist that they’ve also played the part of the problem as well; you’re like what’s the point in trying to explains, educate them and what not. You may find that you just might as well walk away from it all and them even though they are like you’re closest friend ever but sometimes they soon realise how much help and etc that you done for them they have lost that person because of their actions. Sometimes your the one over time may want to get into contact with them because you still care; they may soon realise how much they effected you deeply, or they might of realise how much they have done and finally become the bigger person and let their pride go because their friendship is more important to them than their pride.

Trust me I’ve let go a fair amount of people especially men go because of their actions and none of them have come back to fix their friendship with me or admit that they have been wrong or help challenge my own problems with me. To be honest I’m quite glad that they haven’t to be honest because otherwise it would be more hard work than normal.

What do you think? Would love to know on other people’s opinions?

Everyday Post: Spring has finally arrived!

Firstly would like to apologise for a late start posting I was planning originally a rant topic everyday post but to be honest I was quite glad that I didn’t post it up because I wasn’t really in the head space at all last night (27.3.18) really sorry about that. Normally I would share what’s on my mind but this one blog I didn’t feel happy about it or it didn’t feel right. So I decided to clear my mind and think of some blog ideas or have a day off. One of the two seemed quite happy with me to be honest so I thought it would be nice to welcome spring into 2018.
So last weekend the clocks sprung forwards which meant the days will be getting lighter than getting darker. Yay almost summer. I love the smell of spring and summer air because you know it’s going to rain or has been raining but you can’t tell it on the ground. Some people think I’m just weird that I know when it’s is or it has but if you haven’t been camping growing up then you won’t know how to survive even if you got a wet tent. I find that rain at this time of year very relaxing as I’m inside because it just sends me to sleep quite easily.
Today has been a complete utterly chilled day odd job this morning but I basically slept most of it because I think I’m going down with something now than the previous week. Think I’ve got it off my sister or someone because I feel so dreadful. Sorry if this is the only post you get for today. It’s like once your ill your ill and you can’t think what to write or do anything. I even just had beans on toast with cheese with one of my parents having it as well because I just don’t feel like eating anything. All I want is just junk food than healthy food.

Everyday Post: How to distract your mind?

I decided to kick off today how to distract your mind from stress, anxiety, depression and many other things if your over thinking too much. Don’t worry all of us have that day or so at different times but if your one of this people who don’t have any problems at all then your not human at all. I can tell you that now because you have no soul or anything what so ever. I know that sounded harsh but to be honest with you everyone has to have feelings.
There I said it being way to straight forward on that one does tend to get me into trouble but to be honest I’m up late can’t sleep anxious for nothing to be honest so I’ve decided to try and distract myself as much as possible. Yes I’m writing this currently 00:45am and I’ll be on the road at crack of dawn for my job so no change there people.
The things that help me to distract my mind is by writing, colouring in, problem solving, music and talking to my friends maybe retail therapy if I actually had money but don’t get me started please. I’ve got into recently a game of cards just a normal pack of cards playing solitaire and I’ve also downloaded solitaire and crown on my iPad so that I can just distract myself and also think what I need to do and where I need to place the cards. Candy crush is also a good game to play but run out lives quite quickly as well.
Taking up new hobbies as also a great thing to do as well because you may find that you never realise what you’re capable of doing without giving it a shot to be honest. Anything that you might like to do and think I can do that. I’ll give it a shot I think.

Everyday Online Diary Entries: Should I study Criminology Course?

Sometimes I begin to wonder weather I should study criminology course it looks appealing to me and sometimes I get asked by a friend for advice on something’s like criminology just on the outside purposes of course as they study law. Not like I’ve got law degree or anything like that but sometimes having someone’s opinion on a situation whether the criminal or the person who’s being questioned about something whether it’s their fault or not.
To be fair I’m not a criminology student or working with any sort of law in forcemeat it have a pretty much a good idea of what to look out for. Mostly it comes down to common sense and what was the life behind close doors before they have met and after. Sometimes it takes years to get people to crack but sometimes people still want to control things even if they are still behind bars; as I’ve watched something the other day where someone’s father still tried to control the situation, where a daughter and grandson were looking for long lost mother/grandmother who went missing but there was no body or anything that they can explain if she was murdered or she did actually just disappear and not to be found.
That case was closed once again because the father wasn’t going to be budge or tell where the body had gone. It was similar case with child killers on the moors in Devon I think it was and the killer still had control of the person who was with him at the time until she died. He still didn’t give up the information at all for the family who was still looking for the body and answers in where it is. Then only within few years he died because he was trying to die and refuse to give in to give anymore evidence.
The fact that people who still try to ring round people and control them because they don’t want to leave the earth like they have lost everything that’s around them that they have built up. Cases like these back then life was life not these days you get 5-10 years imprisonment that is life because you know they will be out again in no time for good behaviour bounds.
That won’t bring back the person who was killed or the family who want justice. I could go on and on about these sort things. I won’t because at the end of the day what do I know I’m just a low paying worker and write on the side. Sorry this isn’t a story day as you guys much hoped it would be but will find somethings that might get my stories going once again.

Everyday Post: Is it me or is it really unnecessary to be up someone’s grill?

I’m not sure if it’s me or it’s just people deciding to get up into my personal space where they think it’s okay to evade it then wonder why I’m so grouchy, anxious and frustrated. I’ve noticed quite a lot over the years today of all days (25.3.18) that I’ll try and push myself to go out with the family so that I won’t let the whole anxiety take control and what not.
You know what younger siblings are like take the longest to do everything and so on. If you haven’t then come and spend the day with me then you know what it’s like to be honest I don’t remember taking that long at her age; so I decided to message her to say are you nearly ready as I’m considering not going because I’m feeling rather anxious. To which prompted to move quickly and out of her room. To be fair I think she knows that I struggle most days when it’s family outing that I do go when it comes to my anxiety because I know sometimes places get busy and when I’m in that frame of mind not a nice combo.
Today we were at a seaside town as we had to change our plans a bit because something happened personal reasons that I do not wish to discuss right now. We were about to leave a couple sort of sprint walked over to our table I barely came round to walk or to move out of the way I was sandwiched between my family and them to which I started to get into a slight panic attack and clostaphopic. I really didn’t understand why people have to do that to be honest yeah my family couldn’t do much about it at the time but other people seriously.
I was just glad to be going home after our little walk along the sea but my word the reality of every little thing had started to kick in where other people taking ages to drive, long time being in the car, the radio was being so noisy, my music wasn’t helping to calm my head down and cyclists on the roads causing more problems. I was like I’m not even at work and there’s full of idiots on the roads. That was when I knew I just wanted to get home quite quickly before I had a breakdown because I just couldn’t cope anymore with stupid people to be honest.
It probably sounds like it’s me being stupid to be honest. Normally it is me being stupid. Hahaha.