Mental Health Issues: Anxiety and Depression gets you into trouble.

Do you find that sometimes you’re mental health issues get you into trouble at the best of times? I find that a lot because either one keeps me up most of the night and I struggle to get out of bed in the morning even if it’s a work day but yet sometimes both attack me at the same time. You know that I hate talking about these types of things but at some point it’s good to talk about these things to be able to make people aware that it’s out there and people need to be aware that it’s happening. 

I do find it increasingly annoying that I try so hard to fight all of this everyday no matter how much I am feeling; I still don’t feel like I’m good enough even when the sun is out I still feel like, even tiny little bits that are really unnecessary to the point of  a dog who’s a pain in the arse who’s constantly barking along with the owners having ago at or something. You’re just like seriously man make my mood feel even worse. 

To be honest it puts me off for even having one long term to be honest with you. No matter how much I like them it’s annoying. I find that even people who are self centred and can be manipulative can make you feel 10 times worse because they always try to find away to change it to where they can make it all about them. That gets me down by no matter what you try and do to help them they use it against you like you haven’t done anything. 

You’re like okay so I’m not allowed to feel or saying anything that’s happening in my life because everything is about you. Okay then. Fine then. Yet they say how can you be so strong and everything. I don’t know I just do I sit on it guard my heart to the point off I explode then they realise not everything is about them at all. They realise you’ve been struggling way more than they realise and you don’t talk about it until you explode in their face. I know when something sent me over the edge I break down crying and I’m just as exhausted more afterwards than ever before. 

Hustle and Bustle Advice of Blogging: Purpose of Writing

After last weeks heat wave and weekends thunderstorms the weather apparently decides to rain, hail and storms are expected exciting times guys. So my iPad may actually survive this week from roasting itself until next time; let’s just hope that I can as much blog posts out this week as I can, I live in hope she says and if not don’t forget that I have got other blogs that you can have a look on as well guys. If I haven’t posted anything. 

Purpose of writing for me is I’m doing it for myself no matter what the situation is. I love writing as much as I can so that I can prove my spelling and etc. I do it for myself no one else but for me; it gives me more positive towards myself that I can get positive feedback from people or watch my views and visitors grow even likes, knowing that my readers are actually enjoying them than thinking I’m in it for the money. 

Some people are just in it for the money so that they don’t actually have to work in a store or something to which I think is wrong to be honest. There is no purpose in life if you don’t have the money to work on it to be able to support yourself. I always say to you guys each week do it for yourselves not for anyone else. Work along side writing until it actually takes off. Yeah working everyday is boring but at the end of the day the purpose of it all is that you can use your average everyday skills and use them in you’re writing but just don’t write what you’re job entails or write the actual people’s name in it. 

Sunday Post: “Circus” – Story Based

There’s only two types of people in this world you have the ones that entertain and the ones that observe; well I can tell you I’m putting on w show kinda of girl but yet I like to be the backseat of everything, letting other people say what they like to say but then I’m like the ringleader because I call the shots at the end of the day. I’m like a firecracker I make it hit as I put it on a show. 

I feel the adrenaline moving through my veins as the spotlight on me and I’m ready to break and run off the stage. I’m like a performer having the dance floor is my stage I better be ready I hope that you feel the same. 

All the eyes on me in the sender of the ring like a circus as I crack that whip everyone will trip. So don’t just stand there watching me follow me show me what you can do for me. Everybody let’s go as we can make it on the dance floor on time like a circus. 

There’s only two types of guys out there. Ones that can hang with me and ones that are scared so I hope that you came prepared as I run a tight ship so beware. I’m like a ring leader because I call the shots. I’m like a fire cracker I make it hot when I put on a show. 

Let’s go, let me see what you can do because I’m running this yeah like what….? 

Saturday Post: “Changing” – Story Based

Hell down heaven down living in the same town trying to find something new the broken picture frame that I’ve been frozen in trying to find a better view. This ain’t real ain’t cool because this isn’t ain’t what I signed up too this isn’t ain’t right and it’s no good; everything is changing I’ve been here for too long going through the same things, I’ve been hurting too long and I’ve got to move on yet I say that I can’t do this anymore. Yeah I know I’ve got to move on and let it go.

I don’t understand playing by the same hand but how you find something new I can’t work it out what it’s all about but I won’t live my life through you. Everything is changing and I’ve been here for too long going through the same things I’ve been hurting for too long. Got to move on this ain’t real this ain’t true this ain’t what I signed up to because I know this ain’t good for me. 

Got to let go I’ve been here for too long everything is changing. 

Short Stories Donations: “You’re in the army now” – Story Based – Help for Heroes

Short Stories Donations like this story will go to Help for Heroes you will find the link in the Payment/Donations Page on the homepage or up the top of my blog. There is two options for you whether you want to donate straight to the Help for Heroes or click on the donation button as 50% of it will go to Challengers and Help for Heroes. Please bare in mind that these are short stories and are likely to happen out in the war zones. https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/heroesmenandwomen or click here to donate straight away if your under 16 please make sure you ask permission from the bill payer. Thank you.

My Uncle Sam does his best he can in a foreign land it’s not like a vacation for him because he’s in the army now; I remember him saying to me if a daft man tells you to stay in bed all day and do nothing all day, remember I’m out in a foreign land saving your arse everyday get up and do something for me for a change.

When he came home with injuries that’s when I decided to make him proud by joining the army and set up a charity in his name because he’s done a lot for me without me realising. Then one day he over heard that I was leaving to go on tour, saw my uniform and my bags that were packed.

He called me to his room that was downstairs that once was a living room; he didn’t realise that I was in the army now one valuable thing he told me was “you’ll be a hero of the neighbourhood but actually nobody knows that you’ve left for good as it’s a suicide mission but you know the consequences.”

As I sat there on the plane with all of the faces smiling as we waited to land but actually once we got there no one actually gives a damn about you what so ever. All because your in the army now you’ll have hand grenades flying over your head, missiles flying over your head and you have to get out of bed to survive as you’re in the army now.

Shots that ring out in the dead of night the sergeant calls out “STAND UP AND FIGHT!” You have your orders and better shoot on sight because your finger’s ins on the trigger even though it doesn’t seem right but I kindly remind myself why I’m doing it. I’m in the army now no matter if it’s day or night you can’t see if it’s illusion or reality?

Short Story Donations: “The day I thought I was going to die” – Help For Heroes

Short Stories Donations like this story will go to Help for Heroes you will find the link in the Payment/Donations Page on the homepage or up the top of my blog. There is two options for you whether you want to donate straight to the Help for Heroes or click on the donation button as 50% of it will go to Challengers and Help for Heroes. Please bare in mind that these are short stories and are likely to happen out in the war zones. https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/heroesmenandwomen or click here to donate straight away if your under 16 please make sure you ask permission from the bill payer. Thank you.

The day I lost both my legs saving my fellow serving soldiers life after a land mind bomb was underground; it was him that gave me the look that we were near one, it was close by but where was it and it only took me by surprise that he was standing right on it he couldn’t move from the spot until I did the most rash decision to make everyone stop and back away slowly. So it was only just me, him and the land mind. So that no one else would get injured well that’s what I thought but the crazy idea was that we were in a middle of an empty estate like as everyone had disappeared but just empty ruins of houses but the locals were still living there.

Before I could step another foot closer I could feel that I was being watched by a gunman from ISIS but I couldn’t see where yet I knew that I’ve got a gun marked on me. I was thinking “great but my priority was my fellow men and the mine. I was going to die either way”. Everyone picked up the sense of what I was sensing they ran around us no matter what the outcome was. That was my que to get him out of the danger zone. 

That’s when the ambush came as soon as I ran forward knocked my fellow serviceman over to the ground that’s when the land mind went off. I didn’t know what was happening all I could feel was the pain and being dragged to safety away from the scene. I didn’t know if I had saved my fellow servicemen or not or how many casualties there were. 

It was long until I soon woke up back in base after a few days being in some sort of coma but it was down to a lost of lot of blood. I was needed to be sent home to get more treatment and being told that I had lost both my legs due to my bravery and careless act of saving another soldiers life. That was it my career that I had built up over the years gone just like that. I knew the consequences when I signed up back when I was 16; I knew what would happen to me if I did but this was my life it kept me in check, and made sure that I was keeping myself narrow and straight. 

The fact that I went back to sleep as I was so weak I couldn’t even feel or knew what was going on until I had woken up again but this time I could hear the sounds of birds chirping, singing, people talking and there was someone special to me sitting next to me closely but she was asleep holding my hand. I knew I was home but in a hospital called “Headley Court” I tried to squeeze her hand to wake her but I was still weak yet she woke up with a start. 

She had looked over saw me trying to smile at her trying to reassure her that it’s alright; I tried to talk or mumbled words like “I’m so sorry Tilly”, Tilly sat in the bed near me so she could hear what I was trying to say but all she could say through her tears of happiness and stroking my head. “It’s all okay. We will get through this together no matter what. You crazy fool” I couldn’t help but laugh in pain with a cough splutter that I didn’t notice that I had. 

Tilly called for the doctor and nurse as I was awake; they slowly sat me up with help of course, after they checked me over if it wasn’t for Tilly teaching me makaton when I was at home in case I needed to know at all or any time that and that was the only way we would communicate if needed be. Love her job because I know she’s great with special needs children; I help out now and then when I was home from tour, so the kids in school liked it when I would come in and just chat with them. 

I signed to her that I was hungry and thirsty but wanted her to help me; she obviously translated it for the doctor and nurse of course, as they didn’t know any of it of course. Which chuckled me even more that gave me more pain and spluttering must of been the dust that inhaled at the time. From then on whilst Tilly went back to work and visiting me she always saw me when I was sleep or help me with my food but she didn’t know I had a trick up my sleeve. 

We had started to plan our wedding before I left and we decided to do it in the summer of this year because I was pretty determined to walk again on prosecuted legs to surprise her. I always like to joke about with her so I had a plan with a few close friends of mine who were going to be my best men on the day….

Teen Lifestyle: “Never miss a beat” – Story Based

What did you learn today? I learnt nothing. What did you do today? I did nothing. What did you learn at school? I didn’t go. Why didn’t you go to school? I don’t know. It’s cool to know nothing because school is a waste off time in my eyes that’s why I play up in class at school.

Televisions on the blink there’s nothing on it but I really want a coat with the words on it. My mum asked me what I want for tea? I just want crisps. Why don’t you join that team? I just did. Take a look take a look take loom at the kids on the streets because no they never miss a beat; never miss never miss never miss a beat, here comes the referee with lights flashing and that’s living the best bit of the day. 

Why don’t you run away? Are you kidding? What is the golden rule? Just don’t say anything that’s how you survive throughout school life because you know no one will listen to you. You know that we never miss a beat with what’s going on you think we don’t know anything but we do. Just remember we never miss the beat of what’s going on.

Don’t understand the world: Not 100% what’s going on with Theresa May.

I don’t understand Theresa May because now that she’s landed herself in hot water with the government in parliament for not calling on them about the air strikes because she chose to listen to the power that’s gone to her head and probably Trump who rightly needs his head looking at to be honest with you. 

My first thoughts when I heard about the air strikes (16.4.18) that Theresa May made that call on it and not involving anyone what she was doing. I’m like great there’s going to be more attacks on our soil if we don’t be careful; to which we manage to take on the abound vehicle outside Buckingham Palace few weeks ago, and it got me thinking about this time last year when everything was going on in my country. 

I’m like so she can make a decision on what’s happening in other countries without consulting the government but when it’s on her front door set she has no clue or care how many of us get killed but we take law into our on hands by risking our own lives to help others who are in need of help when something bad happens. We make Britain great not her all she does is undoes it all by doing something stupid like that drawing more attention to us. It’s like Trump all over again. I rather our country to stay out of things knowingly if we do something it will come back more than 10 times worse. 

What are May’s thought processes when she does things like that? What does she actually feel? I just don’t understand whats going on her head? Is she becoming unhinged once again? 

Hustle and Bustle Advice of Blogging: Beware of hacking

Beware of hacking because last night (15.4.18) my emails got hacked not hundred percent why they decided to hack into my account to be honest but they are just low scum bags who haven’t got much better things to do of their time. Hacking can happen at anytime whether it’s your blogs, your emails, your phone, your bank (frauds) and so on. 

You have to be wary of these things because at the end of the day you’ll never know what might leak out that you don’t want to be leaked or they can put viruses on any of your emails without you knowing and people will think that you sent it but actually you didn’t. 

The best advice is every so often change your password to keep your social media, blogging world, emails and what not safe phones you can’t really do much about to be honest other than changing your number I suppose but that’s not much use to be honest.

However hackers are also cleaver with the phones as I’ve just remembered that they can claim to be you’re bank ringing you up saying that they need you’re card details and etc. Due to the fact that they try to get you worried by saying there’s something wrong with you’re account or they want to move you’re money over. Don’t! They are cleaver that way to trapping you into doing so. They are also handy on staying on the line when you think they’ve put the phone down but actually they haven’t it’s another way for them to hack into you’re account when you ring you’re bank. Especially if you’re a business they will do the exact same thing if it was you’re personal bank. 

Just be wary of what’s around you and what’s going on. Don’t leave any apps open like your online banking they will manage to figure out away to get into it no matter what. Always report it to you’re bank by going into your bank yourself to double check and report it to the police. 

Sunday Special Topics: I think my life is like a rock!

You’re probably thinking why is she comparing her life as a grey rock; I can answer you that it was the wrestler turned actor Dwayne “The Rock” what’s his face name gave me the idea for the title as I just saw his picture on something, I was contemplating about my life like I do most days and I was just like I just want to hit someone or some people with my rock or a brick because they annoy me to the point of they needing one thrown at them. By the way I wouldn’t do that anyway neither should you in the first place. Good thanks for the promise. 

Sometimes I rather just lay underneath my rock and just stay there. Don’t want to come out or nothing because what’s the point in life if there’s not much to do or anything loads of thoughts in my head. I rather just hide away in my cosy rock that I call “home” or “my comfort rock” not sure how a rock can be comfy but you can give it ago.

I find that people who come across me think I’m bubbly, funny, find it more funny that I say it how it is, relaxed and etc. At the best of times can’t work me out if I’m dead serious or not until I crack a smile of I just got you and burst out laughing. When I’m not myself and burst out crying they don’t even know what to do with me because I’m normally like the bubbly person to be around. You know they are trying to help but never know what to do. 

I’m like it’s fine I’m just having a blip and the next minute I’m mucking about and having a laugh with everyone. I always find away of knowing how to bounce back when I’m having one the blip moment. Yeah my life is like a rock that I just want to throw one at someone, stay underneath or just crumble that’s basically my cycle my routine if you like to call it. Just had to double check the correct spelling of grey if I had the right one for the my britishness and it’s says “grey” and “gray” are accepted in English language so it doesn’t matter which word I use it still same word and meaning. Just the US prefer to use “Gray” in their English language. Fun fact for a Sunday.