Saturday Online Diary Entries: “What about us?” – Story Based

There’s searchlights searching for us but it helps us to see in the dark; rockets pointing up at the stars giving us the guide to each other like they were tiny little  billions beautiful hearts, and shown us to the river which was too far for us. They hear us call out what about us? What about all the times you said you had the answers? What about us? What about all the broken happy every ever afters that you promised us? What about us? What about all the plans that ended in disasters? What about love? What about trust? What about us? As we cried out to you in pain but you don’t care to listen.

We have problems that need to be solved with your help but we also you’re children that need to be loved yet we were willing when she we came when you once called. Yet many fooled us because enough is enough. What about us? All the times you said you had the answers when we had so many broken happy ever afters; all the plans that ended in disasters but where was you’re love and trust that you should of given us, what about us? Yet are we ready for your trust again? 

Sticks and stones they may break these bones like Jack and the Beanstalk then I’m ready; are you ready to break me more times than one?, it’s the start of us by waking up so come on are you ready to give more things to throw at us. As I don’t want to control the whole situation anymore I just want to let go as I’m so tired of fighting. I know the one true love is ready one more time and I know I’m ready because it’s now time to let them know we aren’t messing around. 

What about…what about us? 

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Wednesday Online Diary Entries: “the feeling sick in your stomach” – Story Based

Weather this is a Story Based or not but I just thought I’ll put in there just to cover myself if it turns out to be like it. When you get that whole feeling of being anxious and etc you have that knot inside your stomach for the whole day whether it goes or stays it’s like am I going to be sick or not. 

Today (25.4.16) has been a bit of a emotional rollercoaster for me as I’ve been picking up more work to which I don’t mind it gets me out of the house. In between trying to catch up on some sleep but not normally works because I don’t trust myself at the best of times. 

Yet it’s been one of those days where it’s been raining on and off like nobody knows to be honest but it was expected to happen anyway. Like me trying to attempt of getting this blog post done but that was harder than expected but I’ve got it done even if it’s not well and truly planned. 

I’ve managed to create data collection for my facebook page because back in the summer of 2017 I had started to do it but stopped but I’ve decided to do it again. I enjoy doing it to be honest to help me understand who what where and etc. Also give me some sort of positive to be able to see people actually liking what I do than not liking what I do. 

That reminds me I’ve got to do a April Newsletter at some point soon because it’s nearly the end of the month so it needs doing. That’s if I can actually remember what happened haha. This month is going way to fast for my liking. 

Saturday Online Diary Entries: “Our Lips Are Sealed” – Story Based

Can you hear them? They talk about us telling lies about us because that’s no surprise as you can see them right through them as they have no shield no secrets to reveal. It doesn’t matter what they say because in the jealous games people play but our lips are sealed. There’s a weapon that we must use in our defence as silence reveals.

You look at them right through them that’s because they will disappear as they are afraid that we expose them to the norm. It doesn’t matter what they say as in the jealous game people play noticing that our lips are sealed I don’t give no mind what they say it doesn’t matter anyway as our lips are sealed. 

Hush now my darling don’t you cry; stay quiet angel forget their lies, listen can you hear them talking about us telling lies and well that’s no surprise. We keep our lips sealed because its easier that way until people come to us ask what’s going on. Don’t forgive them for telling lies as they have no better to do as we are stronger as one. 

Friday Online Diary Entires: Oh my god! Sun is out!

Third attempt to get this post up and running as I started it Wednesday (18.4.19) but stopped because the heat was quite bad but love it though I couldn’t touch my iPad as it was too hot. Along with a headache that was happening ing I couldn’t really concentrate as much as I would off done; hence why the past two days I’ve hardly posted anything, I’m not going to moan about the weather because guess what we’ve had a long winter so get over yourselves people. Then tried again yesterday (19.4.18) trying to write this blog but in the end gave up but did try to write it up on my phone but it seemed to not have worked; so here I am writing it out again but in the nice, and cool of the night before anything else happens. 

To be honest I’m glad the sun is out because it gives me hope that I’m getting better than feeling down and etc. I love the heat the sun and etc because summer is my favourite time of the year I know it should be spring but I think it skipped it out to be honest with you….

Thursday Online Diary Entries: “You’ve got a friend” – Story Based

When you’re alone and needing a friend all you got to do is call out my name; you know where ever I am I’ll come running to be with you to see you again, give you my best safest hugs when you’re feeling down and no where to go. No matter if it’s winter, spring, summer or autumn honey; all you got to do is call me and I’ll be there yes I will because you got a friend right there beside you. 

When you’re down and troubled because you don’t know what to do but you need someone to love and care but there’s nothing. Nothing seems to be going right yet close your eyes and think of me; laying there next to you cuddling you making you feel safe, you know I’ll be there soon by your side to brighten up your day even your darkest nights. 

You just need to call out my name and you know where ever I am I’ll come running to see you again. No matter what season it is baby because I’ll always be the for you all you got to do is call me because you’ve got a friend that understands you and loves you more than anything in the world. All you got to do is to hang on to everything that you’ve got because I’m not going anywhere. 

Wednesday Online Diary Entries: “Girl in the mirror” – Story Based

You can always sense with me there things ain’t quite right but I barely speak I can’t seem to sit still or sit tight because there’s many things that run and pass by through my mind. It’s hard to show when you’re the one with your eyes. Life expects me to be strong but it doesn’t always mean that I’ve to sing that song but do I need to take it; just go easy on yourself because I need to take it, I need to go easy on myself and I know what I’m like. 

I’ve been picking little fights with the girl in the mirror with girl in the mirrors who’s been stressing me out to be a woman. Oh I don’t need this today because I don’t know quite what to say to the girl in the mirror. Take this time to think when things out right because when I’m weak all I seem to do is fight for my life; three many ways that I could say but I’m not fine instead I hold it back with the water filling my eyes. 

Life expects me to be strong but that doesn’t mean that I’ve got to be strong all the time. Doesn’t mean that I’ve got to sing that song I don’t really need to take it but you say take it easy on yourself. So I need to take it easy on myself because I’m tired of picking little fights with the girl in the mirror. The girl in the mirror is stressing me out to be a woman but I really don’t need it today I’m pretty sure what I need to say to the girl in the mirror. 

Sunday Online Diary Entries: “Disturbia” – Story Based

Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum. Repeating over and over in my head what’s wrong with me? Why do I feel like this? I’m going crazy now like no one can hear me or save me now. There’s no more gas in the rig I don’t know even how to get it started but nothing is heard, nothing said, I can’t even speak about it. It’s my life and out of my head yet I don’t want to think about it feels like I’m going insane. It’s like a thief in the night.

A thief that would come and grabs you to which consumes you like a disease of the mind that can control you rather too close for comfort. It’s like throwing your brake lights on as we’re in the city of wonder to which isn’t going to play nice so you better watch out because you might just go under so think twice. So my advice is to train your thoughts to which will be altered so you must falter to be wise.

Your mind is in disturber off mental health it’s like the darkness is the light that disturb you for life; am I scaring you tonight because you’re not use to what you like, the faded pictures that on the wall and it’s like they are talking to me. Disconnecting all the call and your phone don’t even ring but I got out of here or figure this shit out because it’s too close for comfort.

Did you see that thief in the night to come and grab me it would creep up inside me to consume me with the disease if the mind to which control me making me feel like a monster. My mind is being disturbed like the darkness is the light yet it’s talking to me like it’s scaring me tonight.

All I want you to do is release me from this curse that I am in because I’m trying to maintain but I’m struggling. If you can’t help me then just go because I think I’m going to go…

 

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Saturday Online Diary Entries: “London” – Story Based

Riding through the city on my bike all day because the their took my license but it doesn’t get me down and I feel okay as the sights that I’m seeing are so priceless. Everything seems to look as it should but I wonder what goes on behind doors; you might laugh or might frown walking around the London Town, sun is in the sky oh why oh why?

Would I want to be anywhere else sun is in the sky why oh why would I want to be anywhere else. When you look with your eyes everything seems to be nice if you look twice you can see it’s all lies; there was a little old lady who was waking down the road, she was struggling with bags from Tesco to were people from the city having luck in the park I believe that it’s called “al fresco” then a kid came along to offer a hand.

Yet before she could had time to accept it he robbed her of all her jewellery and wallet didn’t care if she was dead; as he stabbed her no one dared at the time of the robbery because of what he had, accept one male stopped from any more damage to her. That’s when people decide to take on crimes on to them because they don’t want to be known as fearful of something.

You might laugh. You might frown. You walk around London Town something happens we all pull together no matter what the situation is because the sun is in the sky on why oh why would I want to be anywhere else yeah that’s the city life for me.

 

Friday Online Diary Entries: “Confrontation with anxiety” – Story Based

Mental Health: At last we see each other plain Monsieur le Maire you’ll wear a different chain I’m going control your head and all of your body making you feel useless unpowered. I’m not going to let you defeat me again. You will not win this war that we have continually.

Kitty Johnson: Before you say another word mental health before you chain me up like a slave again. Listen to me there is something I must do. This life that I want to change I don’t want to suffer anymore or the love ones around me. There is none me who can intercede in mercy’s nam give me three days that’s all I need; I promise to you I will return I pledge my word, I will return.

Mental Health: You must think of me as mad! I’ve haunted you across people like you will never change; you are weak, no one cares about you. People like you can never change believe me what you will.

Kitty Johnson: There is a duty that I’m sworn to do because you know nothing of my life all I did was to fall in love. I’m a stronger person by far and the price I had to pay I’m warning you mental health dare you talk to me of the crime there is power in me yet my race is not over yet.

Mental Health: No you’re number to me is 24601 because my duty to the law of mental health you have no rights; you hade nothing of the world come with me 24601 I haven’t finished with you yet now that the wheel has turned around but not before I see this justice to be done. Kitty Johnson means nothing now.

Kitty Johnson: You know nothing off me mental health! I was born in a good family I wasn’t born a scum like you. I am from a good family.

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Thursday Online Diary Entries: “Tell me you love me” – Story Based

Oh no! here we go again fighting over what I said and done “I’m sorry” I’m sorry that I’m bad at this love hang on I’m not good at this but I can’t say I’m innocent not even hardly but I’m sorry. All my friends they know it’s true but I don’t know who I a, without you but I’ve got it bad baby.
Please tell me that you love me as I need someone on days like this when I need you so bad; just to protect me, hold me and everything. Days like this I need you more than anything in the world because you’re  not a nobody to me your my somebody; my somebody that I love very much to the point that I don’t see the day that you move on and be happy without me, I don’t know what I’m living for if I’m living without you.
Everything that I need is standing in front of me I know we will be alright through the ups and downs because I’m going to stick around we can promise that we will be alright. I know our love is like a battlefield no matter how much we have to fight because I know that I have you standing in front of me telling me that everything will be alright.