Star Light Categories – Wednesday Evening Post – Do you think crying is a sign of weakness or strength?

I hate crying to be honest I tend to think it’s a weakness because at the time it happens I’m not thinking straight and think I’m not good enough but people actually tell me it’s not a sign of weakness when your crying. It’s a sign of being so strong for so long that it’s okay to cry; it means that your turn to be looked after for once, stop caring for other people give time to for yourself. 

I literally hate people looking after me to be honest I’m too stubborn let anyone into speak about things that’s in my life I think I’m weak. It’s only because I hate it so much. Only people I open up to is my closet friends that I have because it’s easier for me to not get judged and etc. 

I think it’s a fear of being judged and etc I don’t know what it is but I am one of those people who blocked myself getting so close to people because I’ve been hurt so many people in my life that I’ve learnt to be tough on myself. Along with the fact that I’ve always been determined and risk things about things of not caring about things. I do care about things but when there’s certain things I don’t believe in then I say it how it is whether they don’t need to hear the truth or not.

Everyday Online Diary Entries – (17.7.18) Tuesday – The day I wish it never happened

I wished today didn’t happen to be honest for the first time in like awhile things happened all at once where I didn’t sleep at all well the night before; waking up at 5:30am after 2 hours sleep by getting sleep at 2:30am that’s when you realise you still got to go to work, and your not on school holidays yet your like you got to go to work. 

I’m like thanks I couldn’t stay awake with especially when you were playing nursery rhymes for someone which didn’t help what so ever. Along with being a grump of not being able sleep; long with the time of getting home I get a stinking anxiety attack because something else happened, I’m just like thank you ever so much for setting me off and etc to the person who set me off. 

I literally had to force myself to go to sleep because I knew I was going to turn on myself; I was that tired it was ridiculous but I literally was okay after all that because I was wake enough for the afternoon shift, I was still feeling anxious and my head was still feeling weird but I was sitting on it most of the time.

Nearly everything was getting on my nerves when I got home after my shift I was genuinely had it. I wasn’t in the mood for one of my parents having ago at me for no reason what so ever; my other parent picked up that I wasn’t feeling right because I looked anxious and everything, I really didn’t need the other one having ago even when I had a bad day myself but I wasn’t feeling up to it to have ago. 

Doesn’t help that I’ve just started my new medication which really didn’t help me what so ever the cross over really doesn’t help. I suppose you just have to get use to it to be honest. I just pray to god that I actually get some sort of sleep tonight with a little help with the new meds.

Everyday Online Diary Entries – (16.7.18) Monday – What a weird day!

What up guys! Might try this out by posting this the day after it’s been done so that it’s not that stressful to put it up on the day but write it as it’s fresh in my memory on the day write it and schedule it for the next day. Obviously I’ve always put dates with my diaries as you always know. Let’s see how it all goes let’s go. 

I’m literally in pain as been so tense in my back because I’ve been so anxious about something I wish not talk about as it’s rather personal; I was up monjority of the night even with the mediation wasn’t really work too well, yet it was trying to help me as much as I can and then I was up at 5 stupid. As I like I call it “stupid o’clock” but nothing new there; however it was pretty long day for me I hate those kind of days, especially when you got a few bits to do or nothing what so ever and it drags on and on.

I had work first thing this morning so I was on the road from 6:45am to 9:15am then 45 minutes or so before leaving to go to an appointment that I’m not going into detail as it’s personal came home fed the fishes in the pond well just a bit. It was too hot for them to do much even though they live in the water haha. Had a nap after talking to my next door neighbor they do go on for hours if you let them; yet I slept for awhile to catch up on some sort of sleep that I missed the night before, I then went to work and I had this sneaky suspicion that I had just locked myself out of the house.

Did my second run of the day came back to find that one of my parents weren’t back yet; I thought this is weird also odd that no one was home yet, I looked in my bag and it was confirmed that I did lock myself out of the house. I couldn’t go and sit in the garden with the fishes until someone came home to let me in because the gate was also locked. I was like just typical the only time I actually lock myself out of the house and no one was home. 

To be fair I did forget to put my keys back in my bag but when one is tired and been so anxious all morning. You just like forget everything. So I rang up one of my parents to see where they were and they were like I got one more thing to do and they would be home in 15 minutes. The 15 minutes felt like ages and it was literally a long time until one of my other parents came home to find me sitting on the door step. They thought something was wrong but I was like “keys keys keys” never got over excited to have a set of keys to get inside the house even when you’re getting attacked by flipping ants. 

My other parent came home half an hour later after I rang them up; I was like luckily such and such came home within 15 minutes, I knew they would talk about anything to anyone it’s who they are. I fell asleep for good few hours after I did the dishwasher; had my dinner which was quite late but I think everyone was down at the pond with the fishes at the time, love the fishes so much they are so cute and adorable. 

We all went down after dinner to feed them they were even more cute and adorable as they became as one group of fish gang watching out for each other. I even filmed a few clips and turned it into a video because they were so damn cute and adorable. Even one of my parents who watched it said that I did it quite well as I made it look like you could touch the water and the way I got all of the fishes in the shot. 

It’s not that difficult I think I could of put music behind it but I think it was a bit better without it to be honest. Not sure but I love it. That was pretty much it to be honest and yes I have put my keys back into my work bag now thank you for reminding me.  Have a good day. Peace. 

Star Light Categories – Teen Lifestyle – Hall Of Fame

You could be the greatest be the King Kong beating on your chest; making the whole world know your name because you want to be centre of the attention, however that’s not what it’s all about do you know why? That’s not how the real works especially in the hall of fame because you got too much swagger. 

I can whip it up into something real good tell you how it is no matter how much you think I’m old and don’t know anything but I don’t care. It’s like me saying “the shoes that you’re wearing are trainers” but you say “what are those?” Its more like crispy beacon crispy like Britexit but the watch is like to expensive; who do think you are?, who do you think are? 

You’re girlfriend or boyfriend is like Sideshow Bob who wants to control you but who do you think are? who do you think you are? Taking picture, looking me up, talking about me, tweeting about me, watching me. No one cares in the real world because at the end of the day whatever you do will come back to haunt you. 

Your teen lifestyle isn’t really hall of fame it’s what you do after school that counts when you got your grades. You should retire the hard act now because I will be sticking around until you’re name will come out of your mouth; it will take more than a minute because I made a name for myself with all of the things that I have done since I left school, I walk my own hall of fame a house hold name in my own rights but do you know I don’t care I’ve never liked the whole school thing yet so what. At least I haven’t had my last dance because we all going to get in fight
because I’m going to show you that it’s going to be alright.

It’s never like hall of fame for me I don’t want everyone to know my name until I just want to be remembered as the one who coped through and make jokes at everything that I had deal with. You just need to find away to start your own hall of fame one way or another so everyone will know your name for the right reasons. 

Daily Stories – Daily Beauty – Maintaining my make up in this heat

The worst bit when you’re wearing make up in the “Uk heat” is that you need guttering for your sweat or for your make up; due to the fact that it’s like a river flowing straight off my face like nobody knows by lunch time, it’s like what’s the point in putting any on when it comes straight off your face. 

I’ve literally tried everything well not everything but you know what I mean; using some of the stuff that you already got to try out things to make it better, for me I’ve tried to do foundation, concealer, loose powder and compressed powder which is my normal routine. I have tried doing it with foundation, loose powder, compressed powder, concealer, loose powder and compressed powder.

To which it actually works because it has so many layers on it to the point of I have to sweat more if I needed to. I forget when I do my make up and stick to my normal routine because I don’t do the whole system because I look outside and think yeah it be fine. Then by lunch time I just forget about how hot it can get then all of the sudden bam sweat start pouring and I’m like you plank. 

You forgotten haven’t you like you’ve been slapped around with a wet fish on your face. Anyone else have the same problem with that they sweat so much that their make up comes off their face? Could you guys let me know how you deal with it and what products you use to stop your face leaking from sweat and ruining your make up? Please let me know because I don’t know how long we are going to have this awesome wether for.

Star Light Categories – Hustle and Bustle Advice of Blogging – My two current favourite apps

On Thursday I think it was it could might as well be on Friday last week I had two awesome apps for my iPad (by the way I’m not being sponsored for this) called “MindNode” and “TabletJournal” they are so awesome I fell upon them whilst looking through the whole App Store and I thought why not give them both a go to see what they are like.

Oh my word they are so good you could barely imagine; the reason for this is because it has unleashed my short stories that I’ve been struggling to write for a very long time without any prompts, not saying my daily challenges or any other stories that I’ve written in the past needed the apps but for me personally I found that they’ve woken up an old part of me that I use to do all those years ago. 

I use to do mind maps and everything in journals pieces of paper and so on. Also answer questions that I would write about to get me thinking of what story I wanted to write about. This was when I had word on my old laptop before it dyed on me for being so old; to which I had to buy a new laptop which was Apple Mac Pro I think it was then I sold it, which is annoying but I do hope I get a new one soon and do things again that I want to use it for. 

However my iPad has worked its wonders for now for over a year so it’s all good I like it. Mindnode is basically an app that you can create a mind map of what you want to do whether it’s for blogs, stories, business ideas and etc it’s so handy that you can create lots of different colours with it and many more ways to be creative with it that can help you.

TabletJournal app is like a normal like journal but on a app; you can use it for anything to be honest, I’m just going to use it for my short stories because I find it easier to answer my questions that I have planned out on Mindnode and be able to expand how I want to do but also to know the outline of the story before I write it completely. I use to do this sort of thing years ago to fill in the gaps with questions and colour code them so I know which ones are which. I am so ocd when it comes colour coding and organisations with my blogs and stories. 

You may find it with my pictures there’s certain things that I do with my pictures where I have to have the right sort of pictures for certain categories to the best of my ability. Presentation for me is important for me whether it’s for myself or for you guys. 

Everyday Online Diary Entries – (15.7.18) Sunday – I think I need guttering!

Guttering? What’s one of those? You probably asking; then your defiantly a snowflake because you should know what it is, it’s the black thing that goes around your house to catch the rain and go down to the sewers. However I need some sort of guttering for myself because you can always tell when I’m sweating due to the fact I’m literally drenched. 

No matter what I do it doesn’t seem to work. The heat doesn’t help one bit either because it brings out everything else that’s wrong with me. Such fun. One of my parents fell for it when they tried to give me a hug one time; I didn’t have enough time to tell them that I was literally drenched of sweat, they were like eww your all wet and I replied I was about to say I’m drenched from sweat. 

One time of my grandparents touched my face and I did warn them I’m sweaty they still did it; “oh your wet” “yeah I’m sweating” we both laughed about that and then a few minutes later they touched my right arm as I showed them it was completely drenched more than the other one. They were like that’s horrible. Haha.

We finally got fishes for the pond two Butterfly Kois and 10 rainbow mixed fishes they are so cute. We’ve worked out that one of the rainbow fishes is cocky and confident exploring the whole pond. We then have one that just hid behind some pond weed didn’t want to explore as much. It was scared cat one it was so funny you can tell which ones going to do well but they will be all confident once they get use to it all. 

Well excited and happy about the fishes they are so cool and cute might get me out more now to sit down there when it’s all finished and etc. Just want to congratulate France on winning the World Cup today. 

Star Categories – Sunday Special – How to take stress out on a Sunday Special?

I’ve never liked Sunday’s as long as I can remember I think it’s since as a kid. I personally think it’s a waist of time to have a Sunday to do anything; it’s like lunch times when I never know what to have, I’m well fussy when it comes to food especially on the weekends the most importantly every Sunday as a kid we use to have a Sunday roast. It would stress me out a lot with the Sunday roast was because it would take a very long time after been to church; then I would had to do homework if had to do homework at the time, then next minute it would be dinner and then bed. 

That was a stressful thing ever I found as a kid however since then I changed the way I do things because it just drove me mad. I stopped going to church because I didn’t believe in it because it just wound me up everytime where is the evidence; couldn’t sit still because I have attention span of a goldfish that’s because of my hearing I’m not one of those people who can be talked at all the time, we decided not to have Sunday Roast anymore on the Sunday because my parents realised that it does take a very long time and everything. 

I now replace it all the things that I want to do and gives me the best relaxation that I want to be honest. I like that because I prefer to keep myself occupied it also reduces the stress and my anxiety as much as I can. I try and make something or do something to keep myself occupied; it also takes my mind off Monday for the day, otherwise it sends me into a panic because I knew I had to go to school the next day and I didn’t want to go I hated school so much. 

I’ve still have those days where I hate Mondays because there’s always been a certain things that made me feel anxious and I literally hate it. Things always seem to feel uncomfortable or something bad is going to happen because I have that weird sense of feeling from people; I hate picking up other people’s emotions because I think it’s about me like have I done something wrong or upset them, it tends to put me in a negativity mood and start getting cross because I hate the whole thing. I find out that it’s not even me but it feels like it’s me and I’m the one that’s been taken out off. 

Everyday Online Diary Entries – (14.7.18) Saturday – What’s something that offends you?

I know it’s taken me this long to write my next blog of the day; I’ve had a bit of a strange day to say the least, a few tears now and then, an argument with someone and etc. However it’s all good and pretty much a long day where I’ve been awake since about 6 but that’s because of my body clock has decided to wake up at my normal wake up call when I should be still asleep but no of course not. I don’t work weekends. 

There’s quite a lot of things that offends me but only going to talk about one of them; this is because it gets me upset, angry and annoyed that it’s not right. Okay the one thing that offend me the most is people say that people who have special needs they won’t achieve anything. 

I hate to point out that monjority of your favourite singers, artists, actors, scientists and etc have some sort of learning difficulties. You wouldn’t know about it you think they are normal but actually they make things so good due to the fact that they are so creative. 

I’m creative and everything. I hated that people wouldn’t believe in me that I could do things but however I was told that people who use to work with me at school said that I coped with school life and don’t have mental health issues or anything. Yet actually they don’t really know what’s going on in my life; I don’t even let it affect  me or show signs that I have because I have a default button of humour, that I make fun at my miss fortunes and the fact that I’ve been determined to not let it define me is the only thing that made me survive. 

What also annoys me is that people who are creative for example on YouTube who have special needs or learning difficulties are doing well; yet they get called names, bullied and etc because the people who make those types of comments are just jealous because they haven’t got anything better to do. 

That’s what annoys me the most because I use my miss fortunes for lots of things; I make jokes out of it, use my fortunes to help others because I understand a whole lot better than anyone else and most importantly it taught my parents a lot of things how to deal with it all.

Judging people because they are good at something is not nice what so ever because your bored and jealous; why don’t you go and pick up a hobby, or do something worth your while that makes you feel great and positive about yourself. Don’t you dare judge a book by its cover. 

My Daily Stories Creations – Daily Planning Stories – Just started planning of a story!

Today I’ve invested in a app that I thought I’ll give a try to see if it would help me to plan my stories like I use to all those years ago when I did it everything on Word program in my late teens early 20’s on my first laptop until I had to replace it years later. Finding this app is amazing I was like “omg” I’m back home with this and it opened my creative stories all over again. 

However I’ll be talking about this amazing app next weeks addition of Hustle and Bustle Advice of Blogging next Monday. I just wanted to give you an insight of it where I’m going with this blog as I’m well excited and I can’t wait to start the story. In a space of day or so I’ve came up with lots of ideas for a story that I thought I wouldn’t be able to write a story again that I use to do a long time ago. Until this amazing app came into my life; loads of things came flowing through the tips of my thumps like nobody knows, it feels great planning things like my stories again because it’s been so long. 

I’m just well excited to sit down and write it to be honest because it’s going to be fun to write it and spooky. Not sure when it’s going to be up but once it’s finished I’ll post it up for you guys to read. I am stoke about it and also I’ve got a new blog in the making it’s just for my stories only so that’s also in the planning stages as well. Everything is going to be cool and awesome. I’m so stoked.