Mental Health Issues: Anxiety and Depression gets you into trouble.

Do you find that sometimes you’re mental health issues get you into trouble at the best of times? I find that a lot because either one keeps me up most of the night and I struggle to get out of bed in the morning even if it’s a work day but yet sometimes both attack me at the same time. You know that I hate talking about these types of things but at some point it’s good to talk about these things to be able to make people aware that it’s out there and people need to be aware that it’s happening. 

I do find it increasingly annoying that I try so hard to fight all of this everyday no matter how much I am feeling; I still don’t feel like I’m good enough even when the sun is out I still feel like, even tiny little bits that are really unnecessary to the point of  a dog who’s a pain in the arse who’s constantly barking along with the owners having ago at or something. You’re just like seriously man make my mood feel even worse. 

To be honest it puts me off for even having one long term to be honest with you. No matter how much I like them it’s annoying. I find that even people who are self centred and can be manipulative can make you feel 10 times worse because they always try to find away to change it to where they can make it all about them. That gets me down by no matter what you try and do to help them they use it against you like you haven’t done anything. 

You’re like okay so I’m not allowed to feel or saying anything that’s happening in my life because everything is about you. Okay then. Fine then. Yet they say how can you be so strong and everything. I don’t know I just do I sit on it guard my heart to the point off I explode then they realise not everything is about them at all. They realise you’ve been struggling way more than they realise and you don’t talk about it until you explode in their face. I know when something sent me over the edge I break down crying and I’m just as exhausted more afterwards than ever before. 

Hustle and Bustle Advice of Blogging: Purpose of Writing

After last weeks heat wave and weekends thunderstorms the weather apparently decides to rain, hail and storms are expected exciting times guys. So my iPad may actually survive this week from roasting itself until next time; let’s just hope that I can as much blog posts out this week as I can, I live in hope she says and if not don’t forget that I have got other blogs that you can have a look on as well guys. If I haven’t posted anything. 

Purpose of writing for me is I’m doing it for myself no matter what the situation is. I love writing as much as I can so that I can prove my spelling and etc. I do it for myself no one else but for me; it gives me more positive towards myself that I can get positive feedback from people or watch my views and visitors grow even likes, knowing that my readers are actually enjoying them than thinking I’m in it for the money. 

Some people are just in it for the money so that they don’t actually have to work in a store or something to which I think is wrong to be honest. There is no purpose in life if you don’t have the money to work on it to be able to support yourself. I always say to you guys each week do it for yourselves not for anyone else. Work along side writing until it actually takes off. Yeah working everyday is boring but at the end of the day the purpose of it all is that you can use your average everyday skills and use them in you’re writing but just don’t write what you’re job entails or write the actual people’s name in it. 

Sunday Post: “Circus” – Story Based

There’s only two types of people in this world you have the ones that entertain and the ones that observe; well I can tell you I’m putting on w show kinda of girl but yet I like to be the backseat of everything, letting other people say what they like to say but then I’m like the ringleader because I call the shots at the end of the day. I’m like a firecracker I make it hit as I put it on a show. 

I feel the adrenaline moving through my veins as the spotlight on me and I’m ready to break and run off the stage. I’m like a performer having the dance floor is my stage I better be ready I hope that you feel the same. 

All the eyes on me in the sender of the ring like a circus as I crack that whip everyone will trip. So don’t just stand there watching me follow me show me what you can do for me. Everybody let’s go as we can make it on the dance floor on time like a circus. 

There’s only two types of guys out there. Ones that can hang with me and ones that are scared so I hope that you came prepared as I run a tight ship so beware. I’m like a ring leader because I call the shots. I’m like a fire cracker I make it hot when I put on a show. 

Let’s go, let me see what you can do because I’m running this yeah like what….? 

Sunday Special Topics: Dancing in the storm!

Sunday Post I should of been away but things happened so I decided to dance in the storm but I really just don’t care anymore. That’s how I feel right right now but I’m not literally dancing in the storm guys; it’s just the feeling like I’m the one in the wrong all the time, maybe it’s just me who knows who knows. I normally by now joke about that I’m not sorting out my characters from my stories when the storm comes to the U.K. 

Way too warm to be able to sleep to be honest and yes I’ve written this in the middle of the night. Just casually watching the storm lighting up the sky it’s so pretty and bright. If you have me on Instagram or not yet there’s a video clip of the storm it’s @lizzysmornings it’s on there if you like to check it out and follow me on there too. 

With only about two and half ours sled this morning one of the houses in my areas decided to let their dog out; what does it do as soon as it gets out? Yes that’s it barks yap yap yap, I do have to point out this is and was at 7:00am in the morning of Sunday. Along with wait for it wait for it “Toby…Toby…Toby” a but respectful than normal but yet not really what you wanted first thing on a Sunday morning. 

I hope you guys have a good day, stay safe and enjoy you’re sunny Sunday whilst it lasts. 

Saturday Topics: Done with self centred people

The past couple of days I’ve felt like everyone is making it out that’s my fault that I’m not giving them attention or doing what they want because one way or another they are feeling lonely or desperate to fill in the gap of being loved by someone. I don’t understand how bad people have to be just to make it all about them. 

There’s so many people in this world that I’ve come across who think and accuse me off things that some may know the reasons why but still continue to make out that I’m the worst enemy. Actually they are their own worst enemy of themselves to be quite frankly yet I’m sitting there stroking their poor ego and everything until I open my mouth that I having problems. 

I’m so tired of people using abusing my good nature and my abusing my good heart that is big enough to care for everyone but thinks it’s okay to destroy me and what I’m good for. I’m sick and tired of it to be honest with you. Might as well let few people go so that they know what they have lost what’s best for them. 

Saturday Post: “Changing” – Story Based

Hell down heaven down living in the same town trying to find something new the broken picture frame that I’ve been frozen in trying to find a better view. This ain’t real ain’t cool because this isn’t ain’t what I signed up too this isn’t ain’t right and it’s no good; everything is changing I’ve been here for too long going through the same things, I’ve been hurting too long and I’ve got to move on yet I say that I can’t do this anymore. Yeah I know I’ve got to move on and let it go.

I don’t understand playing by the same hand but how you find something new I can’t work it out what it’s all about but I won’t live my life through you. Everything is changing and I’ve been here for too long going through the same things I’ve been hurting for too long. Got to move on this ain’t real this ain’t true this ain’t what I signed up to because I know this ain’t good for me. 

Got to let go I’ve been here for too long everything is changing. 

Saturday Online Diary Entries: “Our Lips Are Sealed” – Story Based

Can you hear them? They talk about us telling lies about us because that’s no surprise as you can see them right through them as they have no shield no secrets to reveal. It doesn’t matter what they say because in the jealous games people play but our lips are sealed. There’s a weapon that we must use in our defence as silence reveals.

You look at them right through them that’s because they will disappear as they are afraid that we expose them to the norm. It doesn’t matter what they say as in the jealous game people play noticing that our lips are sealed I don’t give no mind what they say it doesn’t matter anyway as our lips are sealed. 

Hush now my darling don’t you cry; stay quiet angel forget their lies, listen can you hear them talking about us telling lies and well that’s no surprise. We keep our lips sealed because its easier that way until people come to us ask what’s going on. Don’t forgive them for telling lies as they have no better to do as we are stronger as one. 

Friday Online Diary Entires: Oh my god! Sun is out!

Third attempt to get this post up and running as I started it Wednesday (18.4.19) but stopped because the heat was quite bad but love it though I couldn’t touch my iPad as it was too hot. Along with a headache that was happening ing I couldn’t really concentrate as much as I would off done; hence why the past two days I’ve hardly posted anything, I’m not going to moan about the weather because guess what we’ve had a long winter so get over yourselves people. Then tried again yesterday (19.4.18) trying to write this blog but in the end gave up but did try to write it up on my phone but it seemed to not have worked; so here I am writing it out again but in the nice, and cool of the night before anything else happens. 

To be honest I’m glad the sun is out because it gives me hope that I’m getting better than feeling down and etc. I love the heat the sun and etc because summer is my favourite time of the year I know it should be spring but I think it skipped it out to be honest with you….

Short Stories Donations: “You’re in the army now” – Story Based – Help for Heroes

Short Stories Donations like this story will go to Help for Heroes you will find the link in the Payment/Donations Page on the homepage or up the top of my blog. There is two options for you whether you want to donate straight to the Help for Heroes or click on the donation button as 50% of it will go to Challengers and Help for Heroes. Please bare in mind that these are short stories and are likely to happen out in the war zones. https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/heroesmenandwomen or click here to donate straight away if your under 16 please make sure you ask permission from the bill payer. Thank you.

My Uncle Sam does his best he can in a foreign land it’s not like a vacation for him because he’s in the army now; I remember him saying to me if a daft man tells you to stay in bed all day and do nothing all day, remember I’m out in a foreign land saving your arse everyday get up and do something for me for a change.

When he came home with injuries that’s when I decided to make him proud by joining the army and set up a charity in his name because he’s done a lot for me without me realising. Then one day he over heard that I was leaving to go on tour, saw my uniform and my bags that were packed.

He called me to his room that was downstairs that once was a living room; he didn’t realise that I was in the army now one valuable thing he told me was “you’ll be a hero of the neighbourhood but actually nobody knows that you’ve left for good as it’s a suicide mission but you know the consequences.”

As I sat there on the plane with all of the faces smiling as we waited to land but actually once we got there no one actually gives a damn about you what so ever. All because your in the army now you’ll have hand grenades flying over your head, missiles flying over your head and you have to get out of bed to survive as you’re in the army now.

Shots that ring out in the dead of night the sergeant calls out “STAND UP AND FIGHT!” You have your orders and better shoot on sight because your finger’s ins on the trigger even though it doesn’t seem right but I kindly remind myself why I’m doing it. I’m in the army now no matter if it’s day or night you can’t see if it’s illusion or reality?

Short Story Donations: “The day I thought I was going to die” – Help For Heroes

Short Stories Donations like this story will go to Help for Heroes you will find the link in the Payment/Donations Page on the homepage or up the top of my blog. There is two options for you whether you want to donate straight to the Help for Heroes or click on the donation button as 50% of it will go to Challengers and Help for Heroes. Please bare in mind that these are short stories and are likely to happen out in the war zones. https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/heroesmenandwomen or click here to donate straight away if your under 16 please make sure you ask permission from the bill payer. Thank you.

The day I lost both my legs saving my fellow serving soldiers life after a land mind bomb was underground; it was him that gave me the look that we were near one, it was close by but where was it and it only took me by surprise that he was standing right on it he couldn’t move from the spot until I did the most rash decision to make everyone stop and back away slowly. So it was only just me, him and the land mind. So that no one else would get injured well that’s what I thought but the crazy idea was that we were in a middle of an empty estate like as everyone had disappeared but just empty ruins of houses but the locals were still living there.

Before I could step another foot closer I could feel that I was being watched by a gunman from ISIS but I couldn’t see where yet I knew that I’ve got a gun marked on me. I was thinking “great but my priority was my fellow men and the mine. I was going to die either way”. Everyone picked up the sense of what I was sensing they ran around us no matter what the outcome was. That was my que to get him out of the danger zone. 

That’s when the ambush came as soon as I ran forward knocked my fellow serviceman over to the ground that’s when the land mind went off. I didn’t know what was happening all I could feel was the pain and being dragged to safety away from the scene. I didn’t know if I had saved my fellow servicemen or not or how many casualties there were. 

It was long until I soon woke up back in base after a few days being in some sort of coma but it was down to a lost of lot of blood. I was needed to be sent home to get more treatment and being told that I had lost both my legs due to my bravery and careless act of saving another soldiers life. That was it my career that I had built up over the years gone just like that. I knew the consequences when I signed up back when I was 16; I knew what would happen to me if I did but this was my life it kept me in check, and made sure that I was keeping myself narrow and straight. 

The fact that I went back to sleep as I was so weak I couldn’t even feel or knew what was going on until I had woken up again but this time I could hear the sounds of birds chirping, singing, people talking and there was someone special to me sitting next to me closely but she was asleep holding my hand. I knew I was home but in a hospital called “Headley Court” I tried to squeeze her hand to wake her but I was still weak yet she woke up with a start. 

She had looked over saw me trying to smile at her trying to reassure her that it’s alright; I tried to talk or mumbled words like “I’m so sorry Tilly”, Tilly sat in the bed near me so she could hear what I was trying to say but all she could say through her tears of happiness and stroking my head. “It’s all okay. We will get through this together no matter what. You crazy fool” I couldn’t help but laugh in pain with a cough splutter that I didn’t notice that I had. 

Tilly called for the doctor and nurse as I was awake; they slowly sat me up with help of course, after they checked me over if it wasn’t for Tilly teaching me makaton when I was at home in case I needed to know at all or any time that and that was the only way we would communicate if needed be. Love her job because I know she’s great with special needs children; I help out now and then when I was home from tour, so the kids in school liked it when I would come in and just chat with them. 

I signed to her that I was hungry and thirsty but wanted her to help me; she obviously translated it for the doctor and nurse of course, as they didn’t know any of it of course. Which chuckled me even more that gave me more pain and spluttering must of been the dust that inhaled at the time. From then on whilst Tilly went back to work and visiting me she always saw me when I was sleep or help me with my food but she didn’t know I had a trick up my sleeve. 

We had started to plan our wedding before I left and we decided to do it in the summer of this year because I was pretty determined to walk again on prosecuted legs to surprise her. I always like to joke about with her so I had a plan with a few close friends of mine who were going to be my best men on the day….