It doesn’t matter if you love me more than capital radio just put your paws up because I were born this way. My mum told me when I was young and everyday we are all born superstars as she rolled my hair and put my lipstick on in the glass of her mirror. “There’s nothing wrong with loving who you are” she said “because god made you perfect hun” “so hold your head up and you’ll go far, listen to me when I say”
I’m just beautiful in my own way because god doesn’t make no mistakes as I’m on the right track in my life; I was born this way for a reason I plead you don’t hide yourself in regret love yourself, and you’re set to be on the right track. You were born this way. There is any other way to keep me away from being outside from the world because I was born this way.
People who are normal don’t be a drag like you use to be let me and everyone else just be a queen or a king like everyone else. Help us being who we are than being judged I just want to give myself prudence and love my friends. Haven’t you noticed that the subway kids rejoice our truth; yet some religions are insecure but I must be myself and respect my youth, a being a different child is not a sin then believe in Capital Special Needs child. I love my life I love this record because it makes me happy and love needs faith.
Don’t be one of those drags back in the old days who don’t care or liked who we were because they couldn’t understand us back then. Whether you’re broke or evergreen? Wether we are black, white, beige or chola descent no matter what background we are from our disabilities don’t really let us define us but you still let us be outcast, bullied and teased. Just remember we rejoice and love ourselves because we are born this way.
No matter how I beautiful I am but I know that god hasn’t made a mistake because I’m on the right track as I was born this way as it’s in my DNA to be born this way to be different.
Your probably thinking why would she use postage stamps to create art work; it would be expensive hobby to do if she did it that way, but be interesting to see what she came out with. Good idea but WRONG! Due to my expensive hobby of crafting when I have my moments however I was given an Paperchase Sketch pad for my birthday a few months ago; I thought I really want to do something really nice in there but what can I do, I know my drawings are pretty rubbish but still and that’s when I realised that I had craft stamps in a box.
The fact is that I enjoy art very much in my own time when I’m feeling like I want to do something nice for a change and keep my mind occupied for awhile. It’s one of my go to things at the moment just to take my mind of things; I thought I’ll give the craft stamps ago to create a picture using the stamps that I have, I did trial and errors to begin with which turned out alright but then I got the idea of what I was going and started to think and plan in what I want to do.
This is my first proper planned design piece that I’ve done to which I actually liked the most because I thought about it and what colours would go with it. To begin with I wasn’t too sure how it would turn out; as I was going along finishing colouring it all in, and once it had finished I looked at it. I thought this is awesome I like this very much indeed. If I did my art GCSE again and they would let us use craft stamps or something that involved them I would be so in for it. Doing lots of pictures and scenes without a problem yeah it might be called cheating but arts and crafts is still art at the end of the day it’s still your own piece of work at the end of the day.
I’m currently in the midst of doing this one at the moment and I’m enjoying every moment of it because I picked out what I wanted then placed them where I wanted them. Making the castle as a centre
piece of the picture like it’s in the woods. I will share with you what it would be like after it’s completed.
Soul searching, heartbroken, eyes wide open and some say “you’re only crying in the dark”. Yet as you start to grow life changes, rearrange things like you didn’t want them to but as times passes some say “you’re only crying in the dark”. He promised you his love would last forever but the day he said “good bye” all you wanted to do was to lay down and die.
When you loved someone really loved someone and you lost that one then there’s nothing really matters; no more forgiveness, no more politeness because there was no one else could take his place no one can. Come together honey let him go now honey save you’re heart from all the pain because they say “no more crying in the dark”
You got to break loose to be able to have some fun because you need to let yourself go and come undone but I know your friends mean well but when you loved someone really loved someone and you lost that one. Whether it was death, just walked out or something there’s no forgiveness, no politeness because you know that there’s no one else to really take his place.
There really anyone to take his place because you really loved that someone so much you know you’ll be never the same again.
In most towns and cities you could prove anything admit again and again that’s why you find that people read it again and again. It’s only because you came here with your brothers too yet if you came here on your own you’d be dead this is the only way you follow what others do and there’s no excuse to say you’re easily lead. No matter you can choose anything these days now because you know you’ll loose again and so you could do anything but remember why should you do anything again and again?
Yet it’s only when you came here with your brothers too all those years ago because you knew that if you came here alone your dead the minute you stepped foot on the other side. You may find yourself up in a tree until your turning blue reminding yourself by repeating everything that you’ve read in the book.
Yet we go with a letter to ask if you could fix it for me because we need entertainment to keep us all of the streets. We will let you sleep softly in your bed tonight. You can try anything but no one would know apart from you and me because you can stop at anything but it starts with just one then turns into twos then threes. That’s when you had an idea for a club for teens to stay off the streets and reduce the gang crimes in the area.
It’s only because you came here with your brothers too that’s why we made the papers because you told us if you came here on you’re own you’d be dead; now we reached to your age we raise a glass or two, as we know in Hackney talk in heaven that you raise a fist or two as you told us to get a shopping basket and put it on you’re head. Even though we thought that was odd when we first joined but then on it became your statue.
So here we go with the letter of can you fix it for me at the 24 hour club to keep us off the streets so you can sleep softly in your bed tonight. We are the angry mob we read the papers everyday to pick out who we like and who we hate at the club because we also easily swayed. Yet at least we know how to stay off the streets now and starting to clear up our acts.
Sitting in the campsite that I’m staying picturing the life before I knew you; it was okay, alright and it was what it was. I’ll paint my life in the sky before I loved you. There were never pictures in the hallway, no fireworks, no grand allure but the reason it only happens was that you came through my door.
Oh now my life feels more than just amazing to which I’m your eyes it makes me feel like I’m stargazing in the world of truly forgotten. It’s like living in a movie to which I’m Fred Astaire Singing in the rain; to where I’m finding myself seeing fireworks the whole grand allure, this is because it’s every time that you walk through my door.
Life feels more than just amazing in your eyes as I’ve been stargazing up close and personal but yet there’s no fireworks or no grand allure because that only happens when you come through my door. As I’m coming back to reality to where I’m finding myself under a blanket outside and I soon realise that I’m just stargazing.
So tired of the injustice of the world that I live in; tired of the schemes that we have in this world it’s kind of disgusting where people don’t understand what it means, it’s kicking me down making me depressed and my anxiety is rocketing high and as I get up again the jack drops to the point of the whole system sucks.
Peaking in the shadows which will always come to the light when you tell me I’m wrong but then again you better prove me that you’re right. You’re slowly selling out of your lies because I only care about what’s mine and my rights. I’m going to get stronger because I won’t give up the fight that you started. There’s so much confusions that it makes me want to scream with all of your basing and bruising which you claim that you’re a victim but yet I know you’re scheme. I’m the one who is a victim because I’m trying to cope with every lie that you make out but you are scrutinising yourself more by shooting yourself in the foot. Somebody please have mercy on me because I just can’t take it anymore.
Stop pressuring me! Just stop pressuring me! It just makes me want to scream so tired of telling the story in your way of how it went because it’s confusing the whole situation if you’re telling the lies. Yet you think it’s okay telling it. The rules keep on changing while your playing the game just to get it your own way. I just can’t take it much longer I think I might just go insane.
Oh my god I just can’t believe what I saw as I turned on the tv this evening; I was so disgusted by all of the injustice that we suffers don’t get. As I watched on the news another child killed themselves due to bullying and hate crime; nobody knew about it or what was going on before it was too late to intervene, it just makes me want to scream because of people don’t understand of what’s going on around them. Even if you scream and cry out for help no one will believe you.
Recently I may touched on the basis of mental health last week with anxiety and depression. As it’s becoming more and more apparent and aware in this day in age that people are speaking out about it but some people may think “oh get over yourselves and etc” yet actually over the years things have been more successful and more talked about now than back at the times when things weren’t meant to be. Bad things would happen to people who think it isn’t right to be that person. (Not even sure what I meant by that. Must of had a valid point to it)
I find I actually hate talking about it to be honest of the fear of being judged and etc. Yet people may seem to think “oh she’s amazing she’s so positive, looking well and always happy” “didn’t realise she had something wrong in her life” so on and so on. That’s the best bit about having make up on choosing whether to show how ill you really are or make yourself feel good inside and out no matter what the problem is. Then bam anxiety starts to kick in then you start to sweat and what not. You start cry and everything else.
After all that once you calmed down when you just felt so stupid because of it all over nothing; that’s when you look at yourself in the mirror you then realised, but also remembered that you had put make up on and that’s when your like either punched yourself in the face or look like something out of horror film or something along the lines of it.
I hate that to the point of what’s going to be anxiety bulletproof at the end of the day. Just to sort it all out or the best start is control the anxiety as much as you can. Haven’t worked that one out yet guys with the whole thing; I try to come away from all of the social media stuff like messenger, and what not so that the people whom I’m suited with and more like to be more negative to me. Just so that I can control it in the orderly manner but if someone’s got a suggestion of how to keep make up to stay on my face whilst in one please let me know much appreciate it.
Uh, Monday again are we guys? 7:00am start 5:45am wake up but actually get out of bed between 5:45-6:15am then wait for extra 15 minutes in the cold or starting to get warm but cold again outside for someone haha. The fact that I fell asleep doing this yesterday (18.3.18) shows one of my struggles of as a blogger when I don’t sleep properly I can’t focus on what I’m doing.
Sometimes when I have a bad day or when one is ill sometimes I can’t be bothered to blog because all I want to sleep to get better or forget the day even existed to be honest. Then other times it’s easier for me to write it all out and I’ll decide whether to post it or not as I may off used it to vent and not worth posting.
I do have days where I’m struggling to come up with things like ideas because I use great ones then take a few days off or so but try something out to see if everyone will like it or not. Playing the hit and miss game of is it going to be good or not so good. Sometimes I just play games like candy crush and word scrabble on the iPad just to get ideas.
Well the snow is definitely back with the idea of an invasion because it can love the climate change to be honest. Didn’t even realise that I’ve got my cold back from the last time cheers snow won’t be happy if I lose a day of work due to snow because of it. All well what can you do to be honest.
Tiny little bits that turns into one of the biggest problems for me as a blogger as you could see. Sometimes the coldness affects the internet and so that everything else goes wrong or the app that I use is playing up for some reason or another. I’m like why are you a pain in the arse and then I’m like oh that’s why you dumb arse. Haha yeah I do talk myself down when something like that happens. Would love to document what I actually say to myself to show you guys how negative I can be towards myself on a bad day. Haha not sure if I would share it or not though….
The fact that I just wrote this in advance I might actually have a snow day off but on the adverse side of things it would be my normal start on a Monday morning and by still be at work whilst this is being published as I scheduled it. Yep definitely tired and stressed haha starting to notice that I’m struggling with words whilst reading it in my head. Haha… such fun.
Spring should be around the corner but currently snow has other plans but this isn’t about me going on about that this is for ladies who are struggling to adapt or feel confident in themselves. I can tell you it’s taken me number of colours to figure out what colour that I final stuck with to be honest and haven’t regretted it since I’m pretty enough known as a red head at work when people can’t remember who I am haha. Plus most of the staff that I know at a school that I go to and the kids know where to go when I’m on their bus because of my head haha.
So how do you know which colour hair dye do you go for and which one will suit you? I’m pretty much think that’s same question but asked differently I think. Not sure if my brain is computing or not. To be honest if I knew 14 years ago what I was doing back then when I was in my teens as I was starting out I would off gone with the colour that I would have now but then again I was so insecure about myself and everything back then couldn’t really care how I looked well acted like I didn’t but I actually did. Until now I’ve been working hard on myself a lot trying to feel comfortable with myself accept for who I am.
From the age between about 13 to 17 I was blonde when I was at secondary school then 17-20 went throw a faze of I didn’t know what colour to go next to be honest so I was trying it out until I went brown 20-24 I think when I started to go into work and by 24-until now I just stayed red ever since because I felt more comfortable with myself. Knowing that I feel more myself and love the redness I would show you guys my different hair colours but some pictures I really hate so no I won’t show you.
Sorry. Rather not have embarrassing pictures of my stupidity ugly face of the time on here. My recommendation is book a session with a local salon which is normal free for a consultation with a hair dresser they can sit down with you to decide with you and help you with advice what’s best and what they think might suit you. Also if you decide to do it there and then in the salon ask the price and see where else you can get it for cheaper along with a hair cut deal. That’s my recommendation when first starting out because you will know what you’re doing and also do it ever so often to the same salon. Then odd occasions in between you can touch it up yourself if your feeling confident doing yourself but if not that’s okay.
As a J.K.Rowling fan and Harry Potter fan I am so looking forward to this next film to come out in November 2018 going to be awesome. I love the fact that we get to go back in time with new characters and also see a young Dumbledore to which is my surprise is Jude Law playing him; think he’s going to be quite good at playing him to be honest long with it’s a huge role to take on after two other great actors played Dumbledore in the older life.
To be honest we should see what Johnny Deep can do with Grindelwald to be honest plus being in a true English film that’s been part of our English heritage for so long. Plus it’s been quite hard to take on something like this when it’s been all 7 books have been casted as all English cast at the time. Let’s just see what Johnny Deep can do before we judge shall we. I do understand that this is our baby but we’ve got to see what other people can do as well to portray the characters in the new film.
Okay let me cast your minds back to Harry Potter and the Order of the Phenix I think it was or was it the Half Blood Prince which ever one it was; there was a scene where the trio visits Hagrid in his hut, as Hagrid looks out of the window and says “storms coming Harry just like last time” if you seen the trailer for this new film that’s coming out in November. Dumbledore recruits Newt to find something’s out because Dumbledore knows that he can’t do it as Gringelwald will trace him. Also Newt has to choose the right side as Gringelwald drawing up the dark side getting pure bloods to dominate the muggles.
It’s like when Voldemort has been doing the same thing like history has been repeating itself in the future after the first time it happened. So what I’m trying to say is that Hagrid has seem both wars from two different people trying to dominate the world. I think it’s actually a quite good way of doing it and linking them up with one famous quote. If you don’t believe me rewatch the film and watch the trailer of this new film you will understand what I mean. Just can’t wait for it to come out. Comes out on 16th November 2018.