Remember the fallen – Armistice Day – 100 Years since World War 1 ended 1918-2018 (Bring him home)

100 years today since World War 1 has ended. So many men lost their lives in that war; no one really knew the outcome of it all, nor what to expect and most importantly men across Britain were urge to fight. However all these attacks on ordinary people only stirred up hatred against the enemy to which encourage more British men to volunteer and fight for their country. By 1917 there were 3.5 million men out on the front line however going back a year in 1916 a conscription came in; meaning a rule that ALL healthy men age 18-41 had to fight.

“God on a high please hear my prayer I’m in need of your strength and guidance. You have always been there for me” one wife cried as she watched her husband leave the town.

“He is young, he’s afraid please let him rest. Heaven blessed up above take him home to be looked after by the other nurses” one nurse nursing a frightened 18 year old with wounds, cuts and not being able to see.

“He’s my son that I’ve known all his life. God had granted me a son but now the summer has started to die one by one each year of this war. One by one they soon fly on and on. As I am getting old with worry I will be gone” one mother once said

“Bring him peace. Bring him joy. He is just a young man after all. He’s only a boy” cried a village vicar

“You can take my me away from my family but not my son. You can give the life to the war but let my son be. Let my son live. I sworn to my wife I’ll bring him home at the same time as me” a father once said.

Over thousands of sons, brothers, boyfriends, fiancés and husbands never returned home. Just want to say “thank you for giving your lives for us to have a better future” I have visited the trenches in Belgium and the War Cemetery in France years ago you could feel, see and what it must be like back then. I also paid my respects to the fallen soldiers.

 

Daily Post – Mental Health Issues – Hardest Challenge I had to face so far

I do have to confess I haven’t done one of these in awhile but I wanted to share with you the most difficult challenge I had to face. I had manage to take on my ex few years ago now when I knew back then enough is enough living in the fear of him and people around him. That was a massive relief and at peace in what I needed to do then for enable me to move on with my life not having to be constantly living in fear. 

Years gone by and more things came up that replaced it. However this week (22.10.18 – 26.10.18) plus both weekends on either side of the half term in the England that is not sure about the rest of the country (Scotland, Northern Ireland and Wales) however this week I have to say was or has been the most hardest week  for myself where I set myself a challenge not take it out on someone that I care and love the most who’s been there for me a lot recently. They went away on the Saturday for the week; no matter how many times they tried to tell me how much they loved me, missed me and etc. I had finally crashed a bit last night (24.10.18) where my head has started to clear; I became quite anxious because I didn’t know what this was or what was happening, yet they understood that I wasn’t use to the whole positive and someone permanently being there in my life. Not saying my other closet friends haven’t tried or anything they have and still are. 

This person makes me happy and feel relax. This week has been quite a emotional week due to the fact that obviously they are away and be back on Friday but also Monday my anxiety has been so high due to the fact that the kittens had an operation and it set off my past of going to the vets at between 5-7 year old loosing my best friend “Charlie” the budge. I just couldn’t live with myself if the kittens had passed away as well even though it was just moving something before they were let outside. 

So facing two hardest challenges this week has probably finished me off completely now. However I’m not letting it take control of me no matter how I’m feeling right now because at the end of the day I know I’ve achieved something which is a positive than a negative. Now that I’ve calmed down a bit more than this morning because my friend messaged me I literally didn’t need to over think or have ago at him for no reason even though I knew and he told me that he couldn’t get much signal in the first place. That’s what bothers me the most that I know perfectly well that I’m being insecure and they aren’t a bad person either but he helps me out a lot even distracts my head when I start feeling anxious or start become low. 

Just one more day until they come home tomorrow and I get to see them over the weekend. I know that then I’ve done it. Achieved something that I thought I wouldn’t be able to do. Yes my anxiety and depression tried to kill me last night (24.10.18) and this morning (25.10.18) however I took control of it as much as I could because I didn’t want it control me and my happiness that I’ve had. It was bad enough already but I had the focus and the drive to change it and fight it as much as I could. 

Everyday Online Diary Entries – Tuesday (23.10.18) Buses that never came

Ever felt like dajivu like you been here before when you done something before or been somewhere before. That’s what happened to me today because I literally sat there about 45 minutes as I just missed two buses going towards the town centre but at least 3-4 buses going the long way round. 

I was like seriously I gave up in the end and went home at the end of the day. It reminded me back at the day when I was at college and I had waiting for ages for a long time for a bus and bus never turned up. To which made create a poem for it and then a old double decker bus that came which lead me to write another poem and a story that went back to Second World War. 

This lead one of my college teachers so interested and intrigued in reading it. The fact that it went back in time which linked back to his grandmother; when he found he was in hospital he had found his grandmother by his side, he had asked her about the boy he had seen. 

Not 100% where that story is for me to share it with you guys. I’m pretty sure it’s somewhere for me to retype it up and everything in order for me to post it up for you guys. 

However back then with the buses there was no stupid major traffic or anything with the lights and road works like today. Especially in my hometown where they’ve decided to take out a major lights on a major junction near me; then not put any temporary traffic lights on another major junction sets of lights causing accidents, and so on. Literally causing mayhem in my hometown all around the town and around the promoters going into the town.  

Everyday Online Diary Entries – Monday (22.10.18) – Anxiety got the better of me today.

Today was the most challenging thing I had witness and deal with. The reason is I had to face a past where I had grown attached to my budgie named “Charlie” he would do everything, fly in and out of his cage, would say “who’s a pretty boy” in his  bird cage and etc. Until one day I had to take him to the vets and he had to be put down because he was ill. Never cried so much in my life that day. 

We had to take the kittens back to the vets where we rescued them from so that they could have the snip. My sister had already thrown up just outside the place even one of the kittens knew what she was going to do; wanting to be with her because it was her anxiety, and I was just managing to cope but I couldn’t bare it as much as she did. 

Throughout the day I became increasingly frustrated, nervous, angry, fed up, wanted to go home and get the kittens to take them back home in their safe place. I knew few months ago I had a dream about them where they didn’t come back that was horrible. 

I knew it was triggered by my past. I do not want to go through that pain barrier ever again for another 20 years or so haha. Even if I have my own kids. I might be even 10 times worse with my own kids. Who knows time will tell. 

Star Light Categories – Hustle and Bustle Advice of Blogging – Whole wide world goes crazy about Youtube.

Apologise for not blogging as much last things happened and everything else. I couldn’t think what to write and etc. Yet I had this topic idea last week because it literally happened but yet I was having fun out so I didn’t know anything happened to be quite honest. I was pretty much happy being out of the house for a change and spending it with a friend. 

Some youtubers say it’s due to theses hackers called “Game Masters” and “Zargo Project” something rather to be perfectly honest with you it could be just a technical glitch to be quite frankly with you. Yes so many people get paid for making YouTube videos and etc which I can understand but going over board with it all really. Especially when everyone takes by storm about the time where the whole world looses Youtube for x amount of hours; it happens time to time where there’s glitches  doesn’t mean your whole world comes tumbling down because of it, there is other ways of doing it and what not. 

I could be just old fashioned to be honest but I get glitches on WordPress quite a lot but I don’t make a complete drama about it. I just write and wait until it comes back up or see what the problem is. 

All I’m saying is that if it goes down it’s not the end of the world stop being a snowflake there is other ways of doing it whilst it’s down because there’s always someone trying to fix the glitch one way or another and most importantly don’t be an idiot and ring the police saying that Youtube is down because it’s that’s really unnecessary what can they do. Absolutely nothing it’s not a crime. I read it on a tweet somewhere; seriously that’s just over bored to be honest with you, it’s like telling my autistic cousin ringing up the police about something that’s really silly and guess what he actually doesn’t go and do it because he knows it wastes their time. I just don’t understand why or what goes through peoples heads when they do these things. 

Just be patient and it will come back up when the problem is solved it really is end of the world. 

Hauls 2018 – Superdrug Hauls – Top up the old make up box (13.10.18)

My next lot of hauls from Basingstoke I have finally got the chance to top up my make up box that somehow I manage to break half way through the year. Didn’t even have it that long to be perfectly honest with you only got it last year’s Christmas but it still works if you remember that you got to use the handle as a lock when lifting it. 

I’ve finally got myself a packet of hair dye live in the colour red which cost me £5.49 I think it went up in price but I can’t remember it’s been so long since I’ve done it. Now that I’ve got it back to red and manage to cover it all over without missing bits out this time. I did it like I would out my hair extensions in to cover all of the roots and the greys that I may have received throughout the time of not dying it but then again I’m sticking to the four that I know about because I don’t want to know if I’ve got anymore. 

In the Collection section I picked up pressed powder which cost me £1.99 and sheer loose powder which cost me £2.99. I find that they are easy to manage and also stay on my face longer. I hate it when it runs out you start hitting the pan or you can’t shake anymore out when you know perfectly well that you can see there’s more inside the pot.

I’ve picked up L’Oreal True Match Foundation again as I find that it seems to last longer on my face but also its smooth and not so clumpy as I’ve had different foundations in the past. The foundation cost me £9.99.

Rimmel Super Curler Mascara finally got one of the mascaras that I normally use well not one that I normally use but the brand I would go for. I’ve learnt that since using the mascara that I needed to use one of my cheap ones first as a base coat then use it to make it stand out a bit more. To be quite honest it’s worth doing in my opinion. This cost me £6.99. 

I’ve got Revolution Concealer and Define which cost £4.00 I liked the little pot because it’s handing for me and would like to get the bigger one of it which cost £7.00. One day I’ll get it but I do find that the concealer I do have to say it’s better than Collection Concealer. 

Hauls 2018 – Primark Hauls – Started to get Autumn Clothing (13.10.18)

Basically today (13.10.18) I had to budget a few things today of the essentials today especially for the things that I needed. One of the things that I needed today the town that I visited today was Basingstoke didn’t have the store I needed so I had to compromised. In the end it worked better that way for me in the way did to the fact that I gained more money than I budgeted for; one thing I liked about Basingstoke, and one less out of many other dislikes about Basingstoke. 

I basically got 3 bras for £13 and £3 knickers for £5 which if I went to my normal place I would get one for £25 and that would be it but they didn’t have the store so Primark fingers crossed that they had my size in which they did. 6 items that I got from there came to £18 and I would of got the one for £25.

After the boring necessities of what I major needed; I decided to look into some autumn clothes section as I normally where summer tops all year round and just stick useless jumpers and no fashion sense what so ever in the autumn what so ever. So I thought I’ll give it ago this year and see what tops they’ve got I’ve already brought a long grey jumper before in Bracknell I think it was not too far from Basingstoke. No b’s intend to get my autumn clothing. 

I then got myself a cute little gray check jumper X – Large I do like my x-large baggy jumpers because I can get away with wearing it as a top dress. You’re probably thinking how can you possibly do that? Simple it’s called being 5ft4 and half and get away with clothes to fit nicely and I seem to pull it off. The outfight that I’m going to be wearing it with is just a cami dress top with or without my high waisted shorts; black leggings and either brown long boots or black long boots with a bit of brown around the edge. The jumper top cost me £8.00.

I then brought a nice light colour pink longline rib bru dress like top with a little pocket on the top; I thought let’s have a bit of colour to my autumn themed that I’ve got going on here, I would wear it with leggings and brown long boots which I personally think would go nice with it all. I would properly put a vest top underneath as it’s a bit see through. The jumper like dress cost me £6.00. 

I’ve also brought two more cami dresses vest tops to put underneath my work clothes and my everyday wear which is grey. As it’s nearly winter and it’s starting to become cold I need something to keep me warm. They cost me £1.80 each for two it’s £2.60.

Ps cotton rounds pads at 50p in Primark to me I think that’s a bargain. I always generally running out of that sort of stuff quite quickly due to the fact that I use it for my make up; I couldn’t remember if I needed another one or not but I picked up one just incase, by the time I got home that day I had already had one not used yet. I was like sweet all well never say never. They are pretty much cheaper than Superdrug where I use to get them and there’s more in them than Superdrug’s brand. 

Daily Challenges – Halloween Challenges – Please stop associating black cats as witches cats!

What annoys me is that people have this idea that black cats either bring you bad luck or they are witches cats. Firstly it’s an urban historical myth back in the day when people are tryed for being witches and lead to think black cats bring bad luck. Today’s society people still believe that black cats bring bad luck or some lame excuse to either not adopt or want to kill them etc. 

They actually done nothing wrong firstly I have two gorgeous black cats with a hint of brown in; they have not once giving me a bad day or bad luck, they are just gorgeous little creatures been rescued from adoption rescue centre and if it wasn’t for them I would still be in a dark place by now. 

They are just the same as every other cats out there. People just need to stop listening to the old wives tales and get over it all to perfectly honest with you; in my research that I did the other day into black cats, British people actually think that black cats give them good luck and yet people think otherwise. 

Just stop listening to the historical myths people have been talking about black cats because clearly we would still have witches to this day we wouldn’t we. Just grow a pair because black cats are the best things ever; in my opinion everyone just scared that they can’t see them in the dark yeah and what’s the matter with that, their personalities are more important than anything else. My ones spook me out when I don’t shut the bedroom door; I don’t hear them come in, and they just sit there quietly or just be a ninja and creep up behind you. 

That’s just them to be honest they are my ninja cat’s at the end of the day no matter what they do. They are just gorgeous black cats and just need to remember to turn on the lights before you trip over them trust me the amount of times they’ve tried to do that or scare the crap out you because they are silent. They give you that look of what? What did I do? I didn’t do nothing? When you know perfectly well they did but their cute adorable face changes everything. 

So the conspiracy theory about black cats aren’t true in my opinion whatever the culture is means to them about the black cats.

Daily Challenges – Halloween Challenges – What’s the most frightening experience you ever had?

The most frightening experience that I’ve ever had has to be delivering newspapers in October onwards when I was a teen because I hated the dark doesn’t matter if it’s around Halloween or not. Delivering newspapers aren’t the great job to say the least along with not getting paid enough when you delivering more than 100 houses around your area. 

There’s a few houses I hated the most and still do to this day where you get houses sit side by side and their front doors facing each other. I always think I’m going to get murdered, raped, or kidnapped especially when it’s dark because I never knew who was behind that door when I posted the newspapers through. 

The other two houses where they have very long driveways without lights on to see where you’re going until you reach the property; that always scares me because anyone could jump out at no matter if they know me or not, I have always had that at the back of my mind because of it. 

Last but not least my road when it becomes dark and I’m either walking home from work or somewhere else the cars that parked along the sides making it more condensed and by the time you reach the first lamppost I’m home. I’ve only have two lampposts in my road. Do I use my phone torch when I go down my road? No not really I just hope for the best that I’ll get away with it. 

Daily Challenges – Halloween Challenges – Why do you love or hate Halloween?

To be perfectly honest with you Halloween hasn’t really bothered me in the slightest;   I don’t understand it because I haven’t really much celebrated it, I’ll explain the reason why in another blog and I have a value good reason for it. It’s only when I’ve hit my late teens early adult hood that college friends and when I was working in a job that celebrated it.

I was always put on at the Halloween nights so I had to dress up as something but I wasn’t perfectly good at as I never knew how to do it. I felt like a spare part to be honest haha a spare part. 

At the end of the day people can celebrate it if they want to or not it’s up too them at the end of the day. I’m not going to stop them by all means they can have fun as much as the next person. 

I do like to create scary stories and what not because it’s me and being creative. I am currently working on one for Halloween for my other blog; going to take me awhile to do but I’ve got it started for now, I’ll let you know when it’s up and running so you can check it out.